OMWGNOTE: This is me being stunned because you guys blew away my expectations with twenty reviews for last chapter. If I knew that all I had to do was freak you guys out then I would have done it a long time ago. But anyway, thank you so much and I think that we should stick to that number for this chapter. It makes me happy and more motivated to update.
This chapter isn't as freaky as the last one was (maybe) but the next two chapters after this will be going along with a whole dreaming theme. I'd say that C20 is where the real angst begins, in case you thought that all of the previous chapters were angst. No, they're not. That's like…nothing compared to what's ahead. Just so you know.
"Now there's an aching in my back, a stabbing pain that says I lack the common sense and confidence to bring an end to promises that I make in times of desperate conversation, hoping my night will be better than theirs in the end." –Jasey Rae, All Time Low
It wasn't hard to tell that he was dreaming.
Not only was there snow on the ground and he was currently standing in front of a funeral home, standing was the key word. James was able to stand, and if he really wanted to, he was almost positive he would be able to take a step forward and then another and another and keep walking until he reached the door. And then, he was sure that he could get up and do it again whenever he wanted. But for now, he was just standing.
There was something eerie about the funeral home in front of him. There was the fact that the sky was dark and the parking lot was empty, something he had never seen before. As he tried to blink away the flakes of snow clinging stubbornly to his eyelashes, he noticed that the funeral home was the same place his grandmother's funeral was held in.
Obviously he was here to mourn a death. But from the looks of his apparel, which was not funeral appropriate, and his surroundings, no one else was here and James couldn't possibly think of anyone who had died recently. Because he knew it was a dream, everything could possibly be a flashback and he could be revisiting his grandmother's wake. Against his better judgment, James began to walk forward.
Although he knew it was a dream, everything felt real. The snow, the chilly air biting at his nose and cheeks and making them flush with the cold, and even the sensation of walking. James had only been paralyzed for a few weeks at this point, but he had forgotten how much easier it was. He didn't truly realize how difficult his life as a paraplegic was until now.
He finally reached the door and gripped the doorknob, flinching at the sensation of the cold metal. Now in a hurry to get inside, James quickly slipped through the entrance and shut the door behind him. He welcomed the warm air that immediately greeted him, warming his face and getting rid of the numb feeling that it had adopted.
A man nodded at James, smiling sadly, before motioning his head to the stairs to James' right. James nodded and thanked the man, before heading up the steps. The old, carpeted wood creaked under his weight with each one, and as he got further up he realized that it was getting much colder. Despite this fact, it was still warm compared to outside's conditions and James welcomed this.
There were several rooms on the second floor but somehow James knew which one was which. To his left was a hallway that held a sitting area and a bathroom, and to his right was the room where they held the bodies for viewing.
If there was one thing James remembered about his grandmother's wake, it was the room being entirely too cold. James was almost sure it had something to do with the fact that there was a dead body in the room, but it was still an unpleasant experience. He also remembered horrible music playing quietly in the room, only making it that much worse to be in. But the worst part, by far, was always the body.
There was something about seeing a loved one—or any person, really—dead that plays tricks on your mind. For starters, it almost always looks like the person is made out of wax because there is no way that the person in that coffin could look so fake and still. But after the initial shock, tears blind your eyes and then you have to keep convincing yourself that no, the person did not just breathe, it's just a mind trick.
And even in this horrible category, there was always the worst part about the body; touching it, him, her. The skin was cold to touch and rock hard and so different from what normal human contact is like. It's chilling, disturbing, and bound to keep you up at night.
If James was being honest, he expected to walk into the room and see his grandmother in the casket. The whole dream was a sense of déjà vu to him, and he knew that the dream wouldn't be able to predict the future or anything seeing as he was up and walking. But when he saw who was in the coffin, he nearly had a heart attack.
James could sense a few other people in the room with him but all he could focus on was the fact that he was looking at himself in the coffin. Seeing dead people at wakes was creepy enough, but himself? It almost made him pee his pants.
It was then James noticed how weird this must look to other people in the room. He was standing here, but he was also in a casket. He turned to assure the other people in the room that this was just a dream, that it wasn't real, but he realized only three other people were in the room with him. Those three people were none other than Kendall, Carlos and Logan.
"You lied," Kendall said immediately, his voice monotonous. "We could have helped you." His eyes flickered between James and the dead body in the coffin. James immediately noticed that Kendall's irises were not their normal green; they were black.
James opened his mouth to say something, but Logan cut him off. "Why did you lie?" Logan asked, his tone lacking emotion just like Kendall's. "You could have been honest. You could have kept your promise."
"Why don't you keep your promises, James?" Carlos asked, and he noticed they were all edging towards him. "Why do you have to lie through your teeth? Why can't you be a good friend?"
James didn't answer them. He couldn't answer them. He didn't mean to lie to his friends. It just happened. He didn't want them to worry, didn't want more attention focused on him than there already was. James had always liked attention but the attention he had been receiving lately was not the kind he liked. Everyone stared at him like he was some pour soul and for reasons unknown to him, Camille and some of his other Palm Woods friends wouldn't even talk to him.
But maybe this dream was a sign. Maybe, if he kept the lying up, this is how things would turn out. But a voice in the back of James' mind told him that he was being stupid. No matter how bad things got, James vowed he would never resort to self-harm. It would prove that he was weak. James didn't want that. He wasn't stupid, either. He knew it wasn't the right way to go about things. Obviously he would go to his friends if things got really bad but until then, James was fine with being quiet.
He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that Kendall, Carlos and Logan were all practically on top of him, only a few inches from his face. Their cold black eyes were beginning to scare him, but they weren't making any moves to attack. It didn't stop him from flinching when Logan moved behind him to flip open the bottom half of the casket.
Carlos and Kendall started advancing on James, causing the boy in question to back away from them. Their eyes still stared the crap out of him, and the word soulless popped into his mind. But he shook that thought away. Carlos and Kendall were his best friends; Logan, too. He shouldn't have to be afraid of them.
That thought was discarded as they cornered him, making his hip bump into the coffin. He lost his balance for a moment, almost falling in, before righting himself. He glanced behind him to see the dead body of himself still in the coffin, still as ever.
It was this moment that Kendall, Carlos, and Logan took the opportunity to push James into the casket. He fell right on top of the body, screaming at the cold and hard sensation that was underneath him. He desperately tried to push himself up, off of the dead body that was himself, but Kendall and Carlos held him down. Logan shut the bottom half of the casket, effectively pinning his legs inside.
James only struggled more as Logan moved to shut the top half of the coffin, trying to get his legs free. "Please," He begged. "Don't do this. I'm sorry!"
But they didn't listen to him. Instead, Kendall smiled at him, an eerie smile that Kendall should never wear. "Goodbye, James," He said, helping Logan shut the lid.
"No!" James screamed as his friends trapped him in the casket. He heard a click from outside, and he knew that now he was locked inside. James began to hyperventilate, banging on the confines of the wooden box. "Let me out! Please! I'm sorry, I'll never do it again!" But there was no response from outside.
Although it was an effort in vain, James began to struggle more. He tired to ignore the dead body he was laying on top of as he thrashed around, kicking and punching every surface he came into contact with. At this point, he was sobbing, frustrated and scared tears rapidly making their way down his cheeks.
James choked on a sob. "Please," He cried, "Let me go." To his dismay, no one answered him.
He was beginning to get claustrophobic, which probably had to do with the fact he was in a tight enclosed space next on top of his own dead body. He hastily reminded himself that it was a dream, that he would be able to wake up, but obviously his mind was torturing him. If he could wake up, why didn't he? Why was he trapped in this horrible nightmare?
Suddenly he felt like something was pulling him downward, and he stilled and stopped breathing. Something was pulling at his legs from underneath him, like it was trying to bring him to the bottom of the coffin. But the body was in the way. That was impossible…
Two red lights illuminated the small area, and James noticed with a pang of fear that the source was the eyes of the dead body. It didn't say anything; instead, James felt the pulling feeling becoming stronger, spreading to encompass his entire body.
James only began struggling again, realizing what was happening. He was going to become one with the other body in the coffin, and he knew that if this happened he would die. "Kendall!" He screamed, hitting the coffin again. "Carlos! Logan!" The terror was evident in his voice, and he hoped his zombie-like friends noticed this and at least held an ounce of care for him. "Help me! Let me out!"
But the coffin never opened, and James could feel the power getting stronger. Before long, he couldn't feel anything anymore, and he began sobbing louder. "Help!" He tried again, desperate to get out of that casket and breathe again and be free. But the help never came. It only took a few more seconds before James was gone.
James' eyes snapped open, taking a moment to adjust before realizing that he was back in his room. His breathing was a bit ragged, and he could feel his hair sticking to his forehead due to the sweat that had accumulated on his face. He let out a shuddering breath, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself and ignore the aching in his lower back that he had gotten used to lately.
Although he knew the entire time that he was dreaming, everything had been so real. The fear, the darkness, the cold. It was hands down the freakiest dream James ever had, and he felt a little unsettled and knew that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep easily.
He couldn't help but think his subconscious was trying to tell him something, and that was that he shouldn't be lying to his best friends. But in his defense, he didn't even consider himself depressed. Of course he was upset that he was paralyzed and probably would never walk again. It was a fact that he had accepted, though it took a while to do so. He had just been feeling down lately, paralysis and the fact that there was no cure being the reason behind it. It wasn't like he wanted to kill himself or anything. The slight dip in his mood lately was completely justified, and he didn't need to inform his friends of what he already knew.
James knew that when he seriously got depressed, he would tell his friends. If it got as bad as wanting to kill himself, he would get help. He was going to keep his promise to Kendall. He didn't like breaking promises.
He sneaked a glance at the blonde boy in question. He twitched a bit in his sleep every now and then, his face distraught like he was having a nightmare as well. James frowned, the blue numbers of their alarm clock illuminating his friend's face. The glow brought his attention to the clock, which signified to him that it was well past midnight.
James' frown was replaced with a smile. He closed his eyes and turned his head to face the wall, now eager to fall asleep. He wanted to make the next day absolutely fantastic, and that wouldn't happen if he was too freaked out over his dream and couldn't sleep.
Kendall deserved to have a nice seventeenth birthday.
OMWGNOTE: Yes. It's Kendall's birthday after the next two chapters. So C13? Yeah. Um, right now I'm listening to The Backstreet Boys, and before you snicker at my expense, don't, because
A). You KNOW you listened to them when you were younger, and
B). You just read a fanfiction about a boy band. Enough said.
Um anyway who thought this dream was creepier than the last? Because I don't like the whole "trapped in the coffin" theme but I thought Logan's dream was a bit creepier. Anyway. Thank you again for all of the reviews last chapter! Let's try to reach 20 again!