Wow I am SO sorry for the delay. Life got messy, you know? Thank you for sticking with this, for reading and reviewing, for recommending it to others. You all rock.
\
\
\
chapter ten: echo
/
/
/
Monday morning comes too brightly, even though the sky is heavy and gray. I'd spent much of the night before in Bella's room again, this time watching The Shining. Once it ended, I left, afraid of overstaying my welcome.
"My dad will be off work soon," she'd said, the edge of her thumb between her teeth as her eyes moved between me and the clock. A little after one. Still early by my book.
I wanted more than anything to stay, to curl up next to her under the soft cotton of her quilt and fall asleep. But instead, I'd made my way home, hands in my pockets as the wind howled around me. My face was numb and then burning with the sudden heat of home as I snuck back up to my room.
Instead of stargazing, I'd picked up the book she'd recommended days ago. Echo.
It's a little reminiscent of the myth but it's very subtle, the story hidden in metaphor and prose. Originally, Echo was a mountain nymph who, as was typically the case it feels like, fell victim to Hera's wrath over Zeus.
Hera and Zeus fucked so much up.
SO much.
Anyways, Hera makes it so Echo can only repeat the last few words spoken to her. That means that when Echo met Narcissus and fell in love with him, she was unable to tell him how she felt and was forced to watch him as he fell in love with himself instead.
Tragic stuff.
I fell asleep about halfway through the book itself, as this version of Echo is struggling to find her self-worth.
I know the feeling. It's exhausting.
So, this morning I'm slow going, drowsy and more irritable than usual. On the way to school, I do my best to tune out Mom's rambling about her schedule for the day. I hate when she talks to herself aloud, it's like a fly buzzing in your ear. She mentions a Dr. Sheppard appointment made for next week and I fight a groan as the dread takes root in my chest.
My bad mood continues well into third period, Bella's presence in the room during first period couldn't bring me out of it. No smile today, her head already resting on the desk. Alice plays upbeat music during study hall and I avoid talking to her by pretending to do math homework.
In actuality, I try to imagine Bella sitting cross legged on her bed.
She's smiling at me, rolling her eyes because I talk too fucking much.
She tugs a hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face while her fingers tangle themselves in the chocolate waves.
My heart rate starts to slow when her voice echoes through my mind.
Is the tea okay?
You really haven't seen that movie?
I never knew my mom.
Your eyes are greener than the trees.
You have two freckles on your cheek, did you know that?
How are you?
Deep breaths.
No one's ever looked at me as closely as she does. She notices those small details like it isn't a big deal, like I don't get bowled over with emotion every time she says anything at all to me.
\
\
\
Under the harsh fluorescent lights of the cafeteria, she practically glows when she gives me small smile. It lasts for only a split second before Rosalie is at her side, her mouth already moving a million miles a minute. I watch her lower herself, her head in her arms and her hair hiding her from everyone. Rosalie's gaze meets mine and burst of hatred comes with it. My face burns under her scrutiny but thankfully, Jasper sets his tray down across from me, followed by Jessica's bubble gum voice floating around us. She sits next to me, going on and on about something that she saw on TV last night and I can tell that Jasper has something to say but he's too polite to interrupt her. Instead, he gums his lips and bounces his leg until Jess finally says, "I mean, can you believe that? How was your weekend?"
In a whoosh, Jasper exhales, "amazing. It was amazing."
"What did you do?" Jess asks brightly. I cringe internally because she's not going to like the answer.
"I, um, went to a concert. With Alice," he says, hesitating because Jess' face drains of color so quickly it's a little scary. I try to put myself in the mindset that I'll need to catch her if she faints.
"Oh," she murmurs, trying to play it cool. "So the band was good?"
"Yeah, they were great." Jasper and I exchange a look, remembering the hours spent listening to them before the show.
"Good," she says with a forced smile. "I forgot to get a drink, I'll be right back."
Once she's out of earshot, I whisper, "still think she's not into you?"
Jasper grimaces.
"That was brutal but it can't be helped."
"Harsh. Anyways, how was it actually?"
"She's incredible. So funny, so sweet and she doesn't take any shit from anyone. This drunk guy nearly ran her over on his way back to his friends and she shoved him. It was crazy. She's really strong."
I laugh, trying to picture all 90 pounds of her beating on some guy three times her size.
"Plus, she kissed me." His cheeks turn pink; his smile becomes impossibly brighter. Poor sucker is in love.
"That's great, man," I say, genuinely happy for him, albeit a little jealous because I can barely even bring myself to touch Bella Swan, let alone press my mouth to hers.
"I just…I don't know where we stand. What if it was just a onetime thing?" He picks nervously at his foam tray, ignoring the wilted salad on top of it.
"Well, why don't you ask her?" I jerk my chin, gesturing for him to turn around so he can see Alice floating towards us, finger twirling her ever-present ear buds.
"Is anyone sitting here?" she trills and Jasper stares at her, open-mouthed.
"Go for it," I say for his sake and as soon as she settles into the seat next to him, the room falls into a dead silence for just a few seconds before hushed chatter resumes. Jess comes back, a water bottle in hand, and grabs her things, throwing Jasper devastated glances her entire walk across the room, where her other friends are whispering behind cupped hands.
I wait for Alice to ask, "is this okay?" but she never utters those words. She just smiles at Jasper, an ear bud dangling from her finger for him to take.
The exchange seems intimate and I have to look away, just in time to see Rosalie tapping her fingers on her table, her mouth twisted into a terrible sneer as she speaks so quickly to Bella that I can barely see her mouth move. Bella never looks up; she remains where she is even when the bell rings.
The first snow of the season begins, falling in soggy, wet clumps and sticking to everything immediately.
It's too heavy. It's suffocating to stare at.
So, I look away.
/
/
/
Next chapter will be up on Wednesday! Thank you for reading this overly short chapter. xx