Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters

Chapter 10

This Sweet Serenade

1975, March 8

Sakura purses her lips, like she's tasted something sour.

Hinata wipes at her tears. When she realizes her vision is still blurry, she does it again. Uses her hospital gown sleeve to get rid of the mucus as well. She lets in a shaky breath.

And still, Sakura just stands there.

"I-" Hinata starts, feeling lost, "Sakura- H-how are you?"

"Fine" Sakura snaps. She's clenching and unclenching her fists, making passing glances at the heart rate monitor and looking back to Hinata, biting her lip and frowning. "Your heart rate picked up" Sakura says suddenly, so calmly, "I thought you were reacting badly again to the medication." Before Hinata can say something, Sakura cuts in, "But no, you look fine."

Sakura makes some kind of aborted movement, sucks in a breath, and turns to walk out.

"S-sakura" Hinata says, without thinking.

It's only further proven when Sakura turns to look at her and Hinata can't think of anything to say.

She watches the rise and fall of Sakura's chest, the way it quickens as seconds pass and the way Sakura looks like she wants to add something. Her pink hair is tied back, some loose strands falling to frame her face. There are dark rings under her eyes and still, Hinata just stares at her, catalogues her pale skin and her emerald green eyes.

"Spit it out Hinata" Sakura says, "You know I hate it when you stutter and hate it even more when you don't finish your sentences"

Hinata feels herself flush, can't think beyond the fact that Sakura's here and she's alive and that Hiten's barely so. Her eyes catch the med kit Sakura has by her side, abandoned on the floor beside her. There's the red of the cross, signifying aid, healing, and medicine, and war and hurt and blood and-

Hinata sucks in a deep breath.

Then Sakura hisses, "and I hate it even more that you promised to protect me and here you are now…you're…" Sakura makes some fleeting gesture and her voice cracks and she says, "He carried you back and the way he held you…like-like you were already dead and Hinata, I couldn't" she bites her lip, "I thought-" She turns away. She pulls her hair out of its ponytail and ties it back up. Pulls it out again. She runs her hands through it, then walks in a tight circle. She breathes deeply.

There's a stifling silence except for the steady thrum of the heart monitor and Sakura's movements.

Hinata says, "I'll get stronger. It'll take time but I'll be able to, I'll-" and Hinata sees Hiten in her mind's eye as nothing more than a mangled corpse and she manages out a phrase that seems to be nothing more than a short plea, "I still can protect you." She doesn't know how to voice her words in light of her blatant failure.

She can still fight. She can. And if she wins, Sakura won't look so tired.

She sees Sakura's disbelief, sadness, anger and sorrow in the way she circles her. Then, like a switch was flipped, Sakura puts on that professional mask she saves only for terrible situations. "Sasuke says the mission was a success. He said you killed that ninja that attacked you. Broke through his muscle and bone. He was already injured from Hiten's explosion, but you…" she pauses, and there's some sort of acceptance, "You killed him"

She looks at Hinata and Hinata looks back. Hinata locks that fact in the back of her head. She thinks of how safe Sakura is. What she did was right. The sound nin deserved it. He did.

"Right" Sakura says, like she's read her mind, like she's seen something in Hinata, "And I asked myself if I'd be able to do that. If I could kill one of those bastards and tell myself that it's for the good of our village."

Hinata feels that image – that memory - rattle in the back of her brain, threatening to open. Fragments of it escape. The sound nin screaming and screaming, dragging himself away from her, clutching his broken leg and leaving heavy dollops of blood on the floor. "Fuck you! I'll kill you!" he had said, and he had pushed himself farther and farther away, scrabbling against the floor and screaming and cursing. And he had died that way. And Hinata had crawled, crawled so slowly to Hiten. Hand stretched out and chakra still rich at the tips of her fingertips. To kill, no- to heal and there was blood everywhere and-

Hinata gasps, the heart rate monitor accelerates when she draws back into herself. She's pushing herself back against the bed and breathes harder and she throws her head to the side and throws up. But it's only saliva that leaves her and she heaves and chokes and Sakura is suddenly by her side and she's saying, "Shhh, shhh. It's alright. It's alright."

And it calms Hinata down. She catalogues her senses. She zones in on the flash of pink hair in front of her. She smells the sterile room. Touches the curve of Sakura's elbow supporting her. She hears the accelerating heart monitor.

The high-pitched beeping slows down when Hinata hesitantly leans into the warmth of Sakura's collarbone. It's more pronounced now, Hinata notices, like Sakura hasn't been eating well. The bone tapers off when it reaches Sakura's shoulders. They are strong and warm and Hinata leans in more when it seems like Sakura's grip is getting tighter.

"Naruto was like this too when we were genin" Sakura says, "When they started begging the younger generation to enter the war. We fought jounin level sound nins on what was supposed to be a routine courier mission. Our teacher, Kakashi, died protecting us that day. Sasuke and Naruto just…they just…after that-after all that, we changed. Naruto became Hokage." Sakura forces Hinata to look eye to eye with her, "It made him different and I-" Sakura's hands are trembling from where she's holding Hinata's jaw, "and I'm seeing a repeat performance in your eyes. And I can't agree with it. I don't want you to change. Not anymore. I don't."

Hinata doesn't remember her assigned teacher as well; Kurenai. She had left to war almost immediately after she had been assigned to Hinata, Kiba, and Shino. Then Hinata had only had Kiba and Shino and they had been enough when everyone else had left to fight. When genin missions and chunin exams had been put on an indefinite hold and everything had flown into a train wreck. Genin had been appointed into ANBU and scouting missions and chunins had been used as fodder to replace falling jounins. And her clan had left and many more clans had followed.

"But you're going to follow anyway" Sakura says. There's no inflection in her tone. She's worn out too. "On some nights, I'll understand why you do it and on other nights, I don't. And I go crazy trying to find a way to reason with you. And I used to think that it was great that we had people like you ready to throw yourselves into war while the rest of us stayed under protection. After all, we need people like that. But now, I just wish-" Sakura stops talking.

And Hinata's just glad that she doesn't pull her arms away. Even if it's only a temporary misstep.

1975, March 9

Hinata is discharged. Her recovery had been speedy only because Sakura had taken over the healing process.

She finds Sasuke in one of the training grounds. For a lack of better words, Sasuke is beautiful to watch when he trains. He handles intricate mid-air flips and kunai throws with such practiced ease, it almost looks like a dance. He doesn't stop when he sees her watching. He executes several more throws mixed with wordless jutsus. He decimates several of the wooden targets with ease.

Hinata watches him for the solid hour he practices before he lands on top of a decimated wooden post mid-crouch.

She hadn't thought of anything to say to him. He had called her an idiot, she recalls blandly. He probably hates seeing crying faces. Any sign of weakness must make him angry. It could be more, but she doesn't think beyond that.

Sasuke appears before her and it catches her off guard. She backs up a step and he grabs and twists her hand, enough for her to fall. "Your speed is lacking" he says flatly, "You have strength, but if you're not fast enough to land a hit, then you're useless in battle. Get up."

He takes up a fighting stance and she struggles to get up and mimic him, mind reeling.

It doesn't take her long to land on the ground again, at his feet. She gets up though, takes his stance and tries again.

The sun soon droops into the sky and she falls. It's only when he says "get up" and all she can manage is to stand shakily and wipe the blood off her nose and split lip does he add, "Sakura told me to watch over you." He doesn't have a scratch on him. She can't even land one hit.

Hinata looks at him, feeling small. "Sakura-" she starts and Sasuke cuts in,

"She's right. You're weak, physically. But-"

He watches her struggle to breathe, struggle to stand up and try again, "that's how we all started." He says. He relaxes, pulling himself out of his fighting stance. "Find a sparring partner among the ANBU. Look for Lee. He'll help you with your speed." He turns and walks away.

She calls out after him, "thank you" because she feels like it's the right thing to say.

He doesn't reply. He keeps on walking.

1975, March 10

Hinata visits Hiten. He occupies a room in the mental rehabilitation ward of the hospital.

It doesn't take her long to figure out why.

When she is ushered to his room by an overworked nurse, she immediately notices the life support equipment surrounding him, the overabundance of sweet smelling flowers and the smell of antiseptics. There's a blonde woman sitting beside him, squeezing his hand with her eyes closed. Hiten looks like he's in a deep sleep and there is tubing everywhere, wired around him like spider webs.

The woman opens her eyes when Hinata enters the room.

There's a pause. "You're from Hiten's team" the woman finally says tiredly, and Hinata can see almost immediately that this must be Ino. Ino is beautiful. She has clear blue eyes and her hair spills over her shoulders in lovely rivulets. She's in a hospital robe specifically pertaining to the mental health sector. There are dark rings under her eyes. "I didn't think I'd ever see him here" she says, and there's this tender way in which she strokes Hiten's cheek that makes Hinata turn away.

There's something precious about the scene that makes her feel like she's intruding.

"Yes" Hinata says, standing just beside the door. "I'm Hinata. The…medic"

And Ino lets out something like a sardonic laugh. "Of course. Of course" and she drops her face into the curve of Hiten's stomach and lets out a wrenching sob.

Hinata startles; she wants to turn back. Sadness peppers the air. It's thick and all too familiar. It must be worse for Ino. She's swimming in it.

And Ino says, muffled and loud and sobbing, "He's not waking up! Why won't he wake up?! He's been in worse situations!" and her voice tapers off until she's whispering, "Please wake up…"

'Coma' Hinata thinks numbly, 'he's in a coma. No one told me that.' She doesn't say anything to Ino, can't think of anything that would make the situation any more pleasant. Definitely not 'Hiten said he admired you' or 'He was thinking of marrying you.'

1980, June 29

Hinata gives breakfast a pointed look. It's soup, smelling sweet and herbal.

She pushes it around with her spoon, watching the gentle sloshing sounds it makes, steam billowing out and teasing her nose, and across from her, Sasuke is leaning against the crook of his elbow, his own soup already finished. He doesn't look at her when he says, "I didn't put it in there if that's what you're worried about"

Hinata looks at him. She doesn't hide her tired disdain.

"You'll take it as an injection" he finishes, and there's something in the way he says it and breathes. Almost careless.

Hinata turns. Pushes her bowl away, "I'm not hungry"

He doesn't betray any emotion, and she prefers it that way. She doesn't care to try to catch the way he looks at her off-handedly, like he's searching for something in her gaze. That desperation she thought she saw. Maybe she did see it. She doesn't know anymore.

He's done an excellent job of tearing her apart.

The room is silent when he replies, "I have to administer it. It's a direct order from Naru-"

"Stop" she finally gasps out. She'd been so fearfully silent all morning that her own sudden ferocity surprises her. Her fingers are making little grooves in the wood of the table. "Just give me the injection now. I want to go to sleep."

There's shuffling and she doesn't look when minutes later, he's in her personal space and has a syringe filled with a clear liquid. She feels it when it enters her system, and feels the lethargy that settles in afterwards.

"It's better to give it to you in doses in your meals so it doesn't make you feel too drained" he says, and she leans a little forward in her seat, into his arms, and she's so very tired. "But I had a feeling you wouldn't want it that way anymore"

'Two children' she thinks, 'what I want,' remembering. She uses her hand to pull his face to hers – she's not really thinking – and cradles the curve of his cheek. His shock gives way to his characteristic gaze, carefully neutral, but he makes a show of leaning into her hand.

'What do you really need from me?' she wants to say. 'I might already know' she contradicts herself, drowsily watching him as he takes the hand she's been holding his cheek with to press his lips against it. She feels the warmth of it.

She watches him close his eyes against the motion, 'A moment of weakness' she wonders, 'or he could be lying about that too. It could all be fabricated. This…' he opens his eyes after a moment, and there's that desperation she thinks she sees, 'need.'

"I'm surprised you're not trying to gouge my eyes out" he says, almost good-naturedly, but his delivery is dry, "It's better when you're like this." His breath cools her skin.

Her eyes droop. She considers that perhaps he's added a mild sedative on top of the calming effects of the poison. She could be angrier. She's not sure if she can piece herself back together though. It's hard to fight and fight and realize that the world you're fighting for is gone. He's there though – maybe it's a trick. It hurts to think of Sakura and Kiba and Naruto and all her precious people. It hurts.

It's a trick. It has to be.

'Two children' she thinks again, 'he wants…no, he needs' and she considers his comfort in a new light because it's the only place she can turn to. It's weak-willed of her and she could carry on fighting and push him away and cry and scream, but it's the fact that he's told her 'I'll protect you' and 'you need me' that makes her stumble.

It's a trick.

But she doesn't know if that's an ugly thing. To need.

"You need me too" she says. It's to an extent that she understands what she's saying. 'Insane' she thinks in that moment, 'he'll tell them I'm insane and they'll believe him. Maybe I am and he's right. He's never been wrong before.'

"Yes" he says, in light of her turmoil. So softly, so gently, that she almost can't hear it over, 'It's a trick' and 'I'll protect you' and 'you need me.'

'Two children…' she thinks.

It's a trick.

'So neither of them will ever be lonely.'

"You have me" Sasuke says, like he can keep up with her. Yes, oh right. He knows her. His smile is a near thing and he covers his lips against her fingers.

"I want to talk to Naruto when we go back to Konoha" she says, tired and trying to beat back a haze of relentless placidity. "You're going to get me an audience with him. I deserve that at the very least."

"Alright" Sasuke says, and she doesn't have the strength to bristle at that. His surety. She wants to open the blinds and breathe in the sun. Find herself again. But there are no windows here.

A/N: Mental deterioration is hard to write. Hard to point out jumbled thoughts without confusing the reader. I'm feeling so-so with this chapter. A lot of this hit too close to home.

To my lovely guest reviewer, happyhour. I'd be honored if you drew this story! Please do reference the name of this story as well as my penname in your drawing so when I do link this story to your art, it doesn't look like I'm stealing it. I truly am honored! Thank you so much!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter. I am honored by your insight and kind words. Especially the insight!

Once again, reviews are always appreciated.