The insane tales of mlp
chapter 10
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A certain dragon known as Spike was cursing upon finding himself in court, and for what?! Just JAYWALKING!
'Seriously, accused of jaywalking, yet that's ironic since they barely use cabs...' Thought the purple dragon in annoyance as Twilight, who offered to be his lawyer, tried her best to help him, but the prosecutor, who happened to be Trixie, was surprisingly quite good!
"ENOUGH!" The Judge, Mayor Mare, smashed her gavel down, making the court room go quiet. "Estimated Jury, have you found the verdict?" The mares and stallions whispered between themselves before the chief, Dr. Whooves, raised and said:
"Yes your honor. We find the demanded, GUILTY OF ALL CHARGES!" Spike, Twilight and Pinkie (who was the only mare 6 member that could come as the other were busy) got pale.
"Then Spike the Dragon, you are hereby sentenced to a month at the institutional mareniac prision!" Declared Judge Mare as the guards arrived and took hold of Spike!
"Oh no..." Spike whispered.
"Oh no!" Twilight lamented.
"Oh no!" Pinkie chirped.
Then the wall exploded as Kool Aid Man came in and screamed "OH YEAH!"...but upon noticing the awkward looks of everypony (and dragon) he slowly retired.
"Anyway...TAKE HIM AWAY!" Judge Mare screamed to stop the awkward moment and sent the dragon away.
"Don't worry Spike, I promise I'll get you out!" Declared Twilight quickly backed up by Pinkie, "Yeah, and then we'll have a party!"
"Thanks girls!" yelled Spike as he was thrown into the back of the prison cab and was pulled off to a maximum security prison.
Soon Spike found himself in an orange prison suit as he stood in line to get towels. Soon it was his turn, and he was surprised by be calling:
"Barb the dragon." replied the mare giving out the towels.
"Uh, it's Spike." corrected Spike.
"Equestrian paper doesn't lie hun." replied the mare showing Spike's sentence papers, except they put a female name.
Spike sighed as he got his towels and walked down the hall and was greeted by the other prisoners.
"Hey there new girl!"
"Call us, we'll do lunch!"
"Love your mane!"
Spike was surprised by the compliments and soon found his cell, which was actually more decorated than he thought.
"Hey there." greeted a voice as Spike turned to see two mares wearing orange suits like him as well.
The first mare was a earth pony that has a light pink coat with a purple mane and tail. Her cutie mark is of three colored buttons (purple, aqua and light yellow) in a triangular formation. Spike remembered her as Suri Polomare, the same mare that dared to steal Rarity's outfits during that event in manehattan.
The second mare was a pegasus pony that has a light turquoise coat with her mane and tail being a brilliant amber with brilliant gold stripes. Her cutie mark consists of a lightning bolt and three stars. Spike remembered her as Lighting Dust, Rainbow Dash's former teammate during her temporal stay at the Wonderbolt Academy, and from what he heard she had almost put the mane 6 in danger with a tornado.
"I'm Suri Polomare. Got sent here for copyright infringement." replied Suri.
"And I'm Lightning Dust. They caught me in nearly blowing a few mares in a tornado." replied Lighting with a shrug. "What are you in for?
"Well, my name is Barb," Spike quickly lied using his female name, "And I was sent here just for jaywalking of all things!"
"Damn, that must suck..." Lighting Dust said in pity as the dragon nodded before Suri hugged him, making the dragon blush as she kept him pressed to her.
"How terrible!" She gasped, "But don't worry my dear, we'll help you get over it and show you that you have nothing to be afraid of!"
Spike couldn't say anything before Spitfire, who was in charge as warden for the day, came into the cell.
"Alright ladies, time to hit the showers!" yelled Spitfire.
Lightning lead the way while Suri kept Spike in between them as they headed to the showers.
"Um, I'm not too sure about this." replied Spike who tried to get away.
"Don't worry, nothing to be nervous about." replied Suri who kept Spike close as they all headed into the showers.
"Yeah, it's not like you're a guy and all that..." Lightning chuckled as Spike flinched nervously, but the next thing he knew is that he was being bathed by several mares that mistook him as a girl.
"What a cute mane~!" Giggled one of the mares as she washed his spikes.
"Or this adorable tail~!" Said other one as she washed his tail.
Meanwhile Spike was all red from embarrassment upon living every male's dream.
'Well, at least they're ge-entle...' He blushed some more.
Meanwhile, Pinkie and Twilight were on the hunt for the proof that Spike was innocent.
"Alright Pinkie, we need to re-enact the crime. It will give us an idea on what happened." replied Twilight.
"I'll play Spike, you play the cop." replied Twilight.
"Gotcha!" Pinkie put a police cap on and gained a serious look. "You're the kind of criminal that makes me sick! You think you can get away with this!" yelled Pinkie shaking Twilight.
"Pinkie! Enough!" yelled Twilight who gave Pinkie a deadpan look.
"Sorry." chuckled Pinkie.
"Now, let's look around." replied Twilight walking in one direction with Pinkie following.
Now back to Spike, after the VERY NICE wash-up, he found himself standing alongside Lightning and Suri in the middle of the courtyard during recreational time, with several mares looking at him with looks of bliss.
'Oh dear...' Thought a nervous Spike, 'I just hope this doesn't get more awkward...'
But as if fate would want it, a certain griffon was going towards them and Spike soon knew who she was!
'OH NO! IT'S GILDA!'
"Lightning, Suri." nodded Gilda to both mares before looking down at Spike. "Um, don't I know you?" asked Gilda.
"No! I mean, no." replied Spike. "My name is Barb, I'm new here."
Gilda could tell she had seen this little dragon until it hit her. This was that dragon she saw when she was in Ponyville. She could expose him, but she'd much rather see what happens.
"Alright, the name's Gilda. I got sent here for the stupidest thing ever." commented Gilda checking her claws.
"Like what?" asked Spike.
"I put several ponies in the hospital." replied Gilda with a shrug. "They all lied to me, and I REALLY hate liars." replied Gilda smiling inside at seeing Spike begin to sweat.
"Don't worry, Gilda." Suri, luckily for Spike, interfered, "Remember that no one lies around here! After all, we're trying to get out of here and become better ponies, and griffons, and anything else than what we were before." All the female prisoners nodded, surprising the dragon.
"True...so what about ya, Barb? Why are you here?" Gilda asked as Spike panicked, but then Lightning continued.
"She was sent here because some idiot accused her of jaywalking."
"Seriously...?" The griffon asked incredulously before sighing. "Damn, that sucks..."
"Yeah..." Spike said nervously.
"Hey girls, what would you do with a guy?" asked Lightning out of the blue.
"If I had a guy, I don't care how short or tall he is, I'd just cuddle him all day." replied Suri.
"If I had a guy, I'd give him the ride of his life." replied Lightning.
"If I had a guy...hey wait I am a male!" began Spike who corrected himself.
"No way." replied Lightning.
"If you're male, prove it." countered Suri.
Then by some reason, suddenly a strong wind appeared, making all the prisoners' orange pants drop off, giving Spike a good show of the mare's rear while the girls saw that not only Spike was telling the truth about being a male...but that he was better built than most males...
'O-oh my...' Suri blushed.
'Not bad...' Lighting grinned.
'Well, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that the squirt is here~!' Gilda thought.
"Male!" yelled one of the mares as the other inmates began to surround Spike. Suri, Lightning, and Gilda got in front to keep him away from them.
"Back off!" yelled Suri.
"Yeah, we saw him first!" retorted Lightning.
"Besides, he needs a woman's touch!" yelled Gilda holding Spike close to her chest. Spike blushed before being pulled into Suri's chest this time.
"He needs someone who has experience, not someone who wings it." retorted Suri before losing Spike and glaring at a smirking Lightning with Spike in her arms.
"What was that about winging it?" asked Lighting with a smug grin before a rock hit her in the head and she dropped Spike in the middle of the rest of the inmates.
"Male!" cried the mares who dove for Spike.
Meanwhile, Twilight was going to recover Spike after finally managing to show evidence that proved his innocence while Pinkie went off to Celestia knows where, but then she heard Spike's screams alongside several mare's yells and quickly went outside to see Spike being hugged between the mares in a tug-of-war like manner!
"SPIKE!" Twilight yelled as the panicked drake managed to see his friend there. "Don't worry, I'll get help!"
"Seriously?!" Spike yelled in pain as the mares tried to "become one with him". "WHAT ELSE COULD HAPPEN!?"
And then, as if provoking fate, the ground began to tremble before a giant bulldozer came crashing through the wall, with Pinkie driving it!
"SPIKEY-WIKEY, I CAME HERE TO SAVE YOU!"
Spike sighed in relief before getting picked up by Twilight's magic as the both of them got onto the bulldozer.
"Punch it Pinkie!" yelled Twilight as Pinkie turned the machine around and created another hole in the wall.
"Whew, that was close." sighed Spike.
"Yep, an that crowd of mares behind us are close to." replied Pinkie.
Spike and Twilight looked behind them to see the mare inmates chasing them!
But then several sirens sounded off and the mares saw several police squads alongside royal guards and the wonderbolts arrive, stopping them and letting Twilight, Spike and Pinkie get away.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Screamed Spitfire. "You're under arrest for breaking out!" The mares just cursed.
Meanwhile the two ponies and one dragon manage to get to a building and rest in one of the rooms.
"Thanks girls, you saved me there." replied Spike with gratitude.
"No problem, now about our 'reward'." replied Pinkie who gave Spike the bedroom eyes with Twilight doing the same.
Spike just gulped as they got closer and could only say one more line to the camera.
"I think the prison was much safer."
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