Chapter 10: Lies of the Heart

Balthazar appeared in Bobby's junkyard.

He had accidently appeared besides the Impala. He stared at the black steel beast. For a brief moment he let his fingertips trail over the warm metal hood.

Two days ago he was trapped inside the backseat with Sam Winchester. He could still feel those long, muscled thighs wrapped between his, hear those breathy moans from the hunter's supple, wet lips. Taste him... God it had been two days and Balthazar still couldn't rid the taste of Sam from his mouth.

Balthazar's hand curled into a hard fist as he gritted his teeth, resisting the sudden onslaught of tension coiling inside him. He didn't want to be there. He didn't was to need to be there. But he had to. He had to face Sam eventually. It was only after he helped the Winchester's that he was able to get his life restored by the Fates.

Still, it had been two days of complete silence. He felt like a rotten bastard. Balthazar knew, deep down, he was a coward. He just couldn't stand the idea of facing Sam after he knew his true feelings.

Sam had to have known by now. Angels don't make just any human their sole purpose in life unless they bloody had to, or worse… the angel loved them. And Balthazar saw it the moment light seared through his hand and he burned Sam's chest inside the Impala. But more importantly, Balthazar felt it.

But he had felt it before that. He felt that painful, God awful ripping in his chest whenever Sam kissed him, touched him, and when they finally made love. It was only when Balthazar branded him- he felt his soul connect to Sam's.

Sam didn't feel it though. He only felt the burn and then the shock afterwards. Balthazar feared that he did feel it and would know the embarrassing truth in that moment. Except Sam only stared dumbfounded at his newly scared chest. That was Balthazar's cue. He muttered something about angels and having to get some information about their new situation and vanished.

That had been two days ago. Sam called a lot the first day. Then a few from Dean. Finally last night he got a text from Sam: We're going after Roman tomorrow. Meet at Bobby's. Be there, Balthazar.

Time to face the music, Balthazar told himself, giving the Impala a confident pat before appearing in Bobby's kitchen. He just hoped Sam didn't know the truth yet.

He stood at the doorway, a breeze fluttering through the kitchen alerting whoever was there that an angel was in their midst. His heart clenched tightly as his gaze rounded on Sam, who was pouring a cup of coffee.

Their eyes collided with such a force, Balthazar momentarily forgot to inhale. Sam was startled by his sudden appearance because he spilled the scolding hot coffee onto his hand.

"Crap," Sam yelped out, dropping the pot and flicking on the facet to run cold water over his hand. Balthazar saw the redness on his hand from where he stood. Instinctively, he moved towards Sam and placed his hand under the water with his, touching his wrist, sliding his thumb down his palm, caressing the calloused hand softly as he flooded Sam with his healing powers.

He heard Sam's quick intake of breath the second they touched. Balthazar's heart hammered, pulse racing madly. The moment their eyes met, torrid, hot images of them naked and fucking like wild stallions suddenly flared to life in his mind. And all he could think about, with Sam so deliciously close, was repeating that night but with newfound vigor.

He wanted to stretch Sam out on a large bed and lick every single inch of him, starting with his nipples, working his way downwards with tongue trailing those incredible abs…

"Balthazar…" Sam said, clearing his throat.

Balthazar than realized that he was still holding Sam's hand. He briefly inched backwards, brushing him side against the towering wall of Sam Winchester. He felt the hardness of Sam's arousal press into him then. Pure, unfiltered desire flared inside Balthazar. Sam was already hot for him. God, he thought amazed, Sam wanted him just as badly, he could feel his proof jutting into side.

Balthazar glinted devilishly up into Sam's beautiful brown eyes, letting his free hand slide up his torso, barely touching his flannel shirt. "Darling," he purred, "I can tell you've missed me. Well, at least a part of you did." Feeling mischievous, he quickly moved his hand between them and pressed his palm into Sam's erection. It went from semi-hard, to full blown with a mere touch. Balthazar hummed approvingly.

Sam groaned, gripping the edge of the counter, barely able to stand now as his erection thickened sweetly in Balthazar's hand as he continued to rub him.

Balthazar felt his own arousal sharpen with unmet need. It had been two days without Sam. Two, very long, unbearable days. It was time to get a little 'Sam time'. It was still early enough for the rest of the house to be sleeping so Balthazar knew he wouldn't be disturbed for the next bit. Balthazar snapped his fingers and the kitchen shuddered closed, locking them inside.

Sam glanced around, alarmed, "What are you doing?"

"I want to apologize for leaving so abruptly the other night. Trust me, I regretted it the moment I left you."

Sam opened his mouth to protest when Balthazar stopped him with a bruising squeeze. Sam gasped, eyes closing and hips thrusting forward. Balthazar smiled.

"Balthazar… we need to talk."

He began loosening Sam's jeans, ignoring his comment, it sounded too ominous.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked already panting.

"Asking for forgiveness."

Sam arched a suspicious eyebrow, but when he felt Balthazar's warm hand boldly slip inside his jeans, stroking his shaft, his eyes widened in alarm. "No…" he breathed weakly.

Balthazar saw the pulse in his neck beat madly. He leaned in and began sucking on that sweetly sensitive neck, trailing kisses over his flesh. He finally felt Sam's hands then as he moved them over his back, squeezing his shoulders before cupping his neck.

Balthazar burned with smoldering want. He tugged ruthlessly on Sam's manhood, wanting to hear those whimpering gasps that haunted him since their night in the Impala. Because what Balthazar wanted the most, he couldn't have. So if he could ensnare Sam's lust rather than his heart, then so be it.

A low groan escaped Sam's throat as he leaned heavily into the kitchen counter, "This isn't going to change anything, Balthazar." Sam said through choppy breaths. "I'm still mad at you…"

Balthazar nipped playfully on his earlobe, "well then- I suggest you let me continue groveling. Should I get down on my knees?"

Sam blinked. Balthazar was already beginning to move when Sam's hand yanked him back to his feet and pushed him forward. Balthazar slammed into the closed double doors of the kitchen, the hunter pinning him there with a twist of his shirt.

"I'm serious Balthazar," Sam replied, eyes bright with anger and… hunger.

"I'm serious too…" he said, giving Sam his best smoldering gaze. But Sam seemed immune for the moment. "I know darling, I just don't feel like talking at the moment."

"This is not about you right now. We're going after Roman in a few hours- we need to get our heads on straight if we're going to pull this off. And that means you too, Balthazar. Whether you like it or not."

"Oh, I so love it when you go all hunter on me," he said in a lazy purr.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Will you please just shut-up and let me fill you in the situation…"

Balthazar heard Sam trail off when he reached between them and lowered the collar of his shirt and saw his burned handprint on the hunter's chest. His gut twisted painfully. He did that to his Sam.

"Did it hurt?" Balthazar asked, eyes searching Sam's face.

Sam's anger faded slightly, "A little."

Balthazar clenched his jaw, angry at himself for this. "I'm sorry."

Sam captured the hand touching his flesh, voice softening, "it's okay. I know you didn't mean too."

Regret washed over him. "I had no idea that this would happen. I didn't expect it…" Balthazar wasn't sure if he was talking about the scar or something infinitely more terrifying. His heart. "I still haven't a clue how this works at all really… one minute I'm holding you, kissing you… the next," his hand touched the beautifully mangled flesh. "I'm branding you."

"Will you stop beating yourself up?" Sam chided. "It's just another scar to add to my collection, Balthazar."

Balthazar couldn't stop the pain that entered his eyes. He was too proud to admit that he would never, ever hurt Sam intentionally. He was too important, special…

"And I don't think you expected to choose me," Sam whispered, his warm brown eyes gazing over him.

But that was it- Balthazar knew it would be him. He knew it from the moment he saw him. He felt connected to Sam before they ever really met. Balthazar was meant to be Sam's guardian. He was meant to protect him. To love him.

Something shifted in the air between them. Balthazar wasn't sure how or when it happened, only that one minute Sam looked like he wanted to strangle him and now… he was…

Sam's mouth captured his. They kissed. It wasn't hurried or hungry like Balthazar was used to. It was slow, agonizingly slow and… tender. It was so sweet it made Balthazar's heart shatter in his chest. He leaned into Sam, wanting to taste more of this sweet emotion. The hunter wrapped his arms around him, his hand cupping the back of his head as he slanted his mouth over his, deepening the kiss further. Balthazar began to melt into him. He was a simpering puddle of loose limbs and deflated ego as he desperately kissed him back, never wanting it to end.

"Sam…" he breathed out frantically, sucking in air as Sam's lips began sucking under his jaw, his tongue licking his neck, their bodies pressed into one another. Sam's musky, male scent engulfed him. The feel of his soft flannel shirt under his fingertips, his soft brown hair brushing across his cheek, and the sharp pang of emotion ripping apart whatever barrier he had around his heart. He belonged to Sam now. Body and soul. He just couldn't admit it.

He felt Sam arch his hips into him, their arousals brushing. Balthazar whimpered, nails digging into Sam's back, needing more than what he was being given.

Suddenly Sam whispered softly in his ear, "I know the truth, Balthazar."

Balthazar stilled, unable to speak. Sam knew the truth? He figured it out? Fear gripped him as he pulled back, looking up in to the hunter's eyes.

"The truth? And what truth is that, Sam?" He asked in a hoarse voice, unable to keep the fear from it. He was scared. He was scared that Sam would reject him. That's why he ran away that night in the Impala. That's why he avoided returning to him. That's why he didn't want to 'talk'- just make blistering hot love again and forget about all these confusing, horrible emotions.

Sam nodded, "I read something while you were gone. Researching, to figure out what having a guardian meant."

Balthazar knew it before Sam even said the words. His stomach sank.

"There's only two reasons a guardian chooses a human," Sam said. "He's forced to, or…"

Balthazar swallowed the awful lump that rose in his throat.

Sam's eyes searched his face, "or the angel loves them."

Balthazar hummed, using the only defense he had, deniability with a hint of sarcasm. "Well, obviously you're being scooped. The book, clearly, is wrong. Probably written by some romance novelist with too many cherub fairies clouding the brain."

"Balthazar…" Sam began.

Something unpleasant squeezed around his heart, making him want to lash out, to hurt him, or at least show Sam that he didn't have power over him.

"Stop," Balthazar countered firmly, "I like you, Sam. I do. There's something about you I find irritatingly attractive. But that's it, darling. So don't expect any swooning from this angel."

Sam didn't speak for a long moment before he stepped back, no longer touching him. "Why don't I believe you then?" He asked in a shallow voice.

Balthazar smiled thinly as he leaned casually into the doors. "Don't confuse lust for love, Sam. It's unhealthy."

He didn't want Sam to know that the hunter could crush him with a single word.

"If I fell madly in love with you, Sam- I would know."

"I think you do know, you're just too scared to admit it," Sam retorted coldly.

Balthazar felt his words like physical blows, nearly crippling him. "Aw- that hurts, Sam. Maybe we should have a little replay of what happened a few nights ago, might jog something inside me," he taunted cruelly.

Sam remained utterly still, and then brought his eyes to his. They were blazing with hatred, and something worse.

Disdain.

Balthazar suddenly had to fight the most ridiculous impulse to leap forward, to get down on his knees, to apologize for his meaningless words and beg Sam for forgiveness.

But Balthazar would do none of those things. Sam was too dangerously close to the truth and once he did find out, it was only a matter of time before the hunter rejected him completely from his life. And once that happened, Balthazar's life would be over. No matter what the Fates did. His life wouldn't matter if Sam wasn't in it.

Balthazar forced a smile, "maybe we could have a go at it now, darling. I do love it when I ruffle your feathers," he said, too smoothly.

"We're not doing that again." Sam vowed, his low, intense voice sending chills to Balthazar's very bones. "Ever."

And then, with a few steps, Sam wrenched open the doors and was gone.

TBC

**I'm back! Sorry i was gone for so long. I had finals & seriously heavy work to finish. Trust me though, not writing this story was killing me! Hope u don't club me with sticks for being away, and then updating with this chapter. haha. Sorry for the silence & now the tortured angel anguish.

~kidneythieves ;)