CH 10

The guys stood up when the women entered. Karla looked at Dan trying to guage the temperature of the room. He smiled at her, but his eyes weren't involved. "You can sit here." He told her. He went to the kitchen and brought back a chair and sat next to her.

"Thanks." She took the chair and Sackett resumed her seat. "So, what's going on? You said I shouldn't go too far, Captain Sackett, so that means there's something going on." No one wanted to start. "Captain Cragen, I'd say you're senior here. Can you tell me what's going on?"

"Captain Ross, do you want to take this?" Cragen threw the ball to Dan.

"Our relationship has caused a stir in the NYPD." He admitted.

Karla nodded. "I expected some upset. It's not exactly the same ole, same ole. Why such a hard time getting to the point? Out with it, Dan. What the hell is going on? Am I being fired or are you?"

"Neither. Word got out about us and it's set off a real powder keg. There's a big petition circulating to change the departments stand on relationships between partners. Apparently a lot of officers have signed it, some of the most high profile names in the department and there's talk of other ways to force the department to scrap the policy."

"About time. That was put in during Lincolns time wasn't it?"

"Maybe not quite that long ago." Cragen put in with a smile.

"Still, it's way past time. So what does this have to do with us?"

"They're using your relationship as a flagship of their cause." Sackett said.

"So that's why you were asking me."

"Yes. I wanted to know for myself how committed you are before we go ahead and come out with a response."

"I know what is going on around my precinct, even the city, what I want to know from you, both of you is, are you willing to bear the brunt of the accusations in order to help get this policy changed? It won't be easy. You're talking people who don't want it to change, and higher ups who still believe this is wrong." Cragen said.

"I'm willing to do all I can to make it easier on you, but you two will still be at the forefront of this entire mess." Sackett told Karla.

Karla looked at the two captains then at Dan. "Can we have a
few minutes?"

Cragen got to his feet and so did Sackett. "We have to get back to the city anyway. Talk about this and let us know. We'll wait for three days to hear from you. If we haven't heard in that time, we'll take that as a no and act accordingly. I know this is a big decision. It's going to cause a lot of controversy any way you cut it. Give it plenty of thought."

"I'll walk you out." Dan led the way out to the SUV.

"I'm sorry to lay this on you two. It's hardly fair for you to get this so early in a relationship, but that's how it started." Cragen told him.

"I think we're big enough to handle it. We need to talk about it and I'll let you know."

Sackett looked over at the hood at him. "If she were higher in rank it might not be so bad."

"We could promote her." Dan joked.

"Talk to her about it. But she's already turned down or managed to have three promotions withdrawn by pulling fool stunts. I don't think that's going to fly. Let me know. I don't want to lose her or you either."

"I'm not going anywhere and neither is she if I have anything to say about it." Dan told her sharply.

Karla was still sitting in the chair when he got back in. She looked solemn. Her eyes were clear when he looked into him, but he had the distinct impression she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Beating around the bush had never been his style. "We sure know how to get a party started." He said lightly.

Karlas relief was immediate and visible. She smiled. "I guess we do. And it isn't even 10:30 yet."

"So how do you feel? About this?"

"I don't mind being a flagship for that kind of change. I think it's long overdue. I don't want it to hurt you. I'm used to being on the outside of groups. I'm just not willing to make you a target and by extension your precinct."

"Bobby and Alex?"

"And Mike and Carolyn, and everyone else there."

"Megan Wheeler is there now instead of Carolyn."

"I haven't met her. Suppose after all it said and done they decide not to change policy and give me the option of being fired or resigning. How will that affect you?"

"Would you?"

"Resign?"

"Give up that easy."

"Not unless I have to. If it would keep you from losing everything or cause the department more hassle than it's worth, yes. Do it willingly? No."

"You'd give up that for me?"

"Dan, you should know something that crops up in me from time to time. I was raised in a foster home, you know that, but I was also small and slight and not considered much use by anyone. Not for work, not at school and not at home. So I didn't develop much self worth. I've tried hard to find a place in this world that I could feel secure in. A job, a place to call home, somebody to love. Every once in a while I feel totally useless and not worth much. This appears to be one of those times. A throw away, trash, not much good for anything. That's how I feel somedays. And I'd give up everything I worked so hard for so you never have to feel like that."

"I had no idea. You don't have to give anything up for me."

"It's not something I can control. It just pops up once in a while. Something will trigger it, the psychologist says. As long as I'm aware of it, I can control it. He says everyone has triggers. It's up to us to control the responses."

"Now you sound like Goren." Dan teased.

"Aren't you sweet." Karla purred.

"However, you don't look like him in the least."

"That is a relief."

Dan got up and went over to crouch in front of her. "Because if you were Goren, I wouldn't want to do this." He put his hand on her knee and slid it up her thigh using the pressure of his thumb on the inside of her thigh.

She caught her breath. "I'm sure he wouldn't want you to either."

"And I wouldn't do this." He leaned forward and kissed her slightly parted lips.

She opened her mouth and pulled him closer, moaning softly.

"You know what else I'd do that Goren wouldn't like?" he asked.

"Goren who?" she replied.

TBC