This fic is also on my tumblr blog where my username is Kuno-chan and my blog name is Dragoness Ramblings.

Disclaimer: Legend of Korra belongs to Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko

This fic is co-writtern by kuno-chan and spiritypowers.

Blistering Heart

"Where the hell is she?"

Jinora checked her phone for the thirtieth time in fifteen minutes, praying that a text message from Kai with good news would pop up anytime soon.

Nima couldn't have gotten very far. It was a small town after all, Jinora reasoned. She wanted to believe that her daughter was somewhere nice and safe and warm. Not out in this blistering cold air with nothing on but some long pants, long sleeve lounge clothes. The first place Jinora had checked was the library, but nobody was there. After wasting a good five minutes searching there, she walked to the tea shop, popping in just long enough to see if her daughter was in there before frantically popping back out and walking down the street. She couldn't be at Zuko's house, Kai would have called her by then. She couldn't be at school. School was closed.

But Jinora went down past the school playground anyway, ready to burst into tears when she saw not a soul. She walked to and fro, the cold biting at the skin of her face. Oh, God, what if somebody had picked her up? What if she'd been kidnapped? Fablebrooke may have been a small town, but it wasn't like she knew everybody-

Her phone vibrated in her hand and she turned it over so fast that it nearly slipped out of her hands:

Park. Now.

Without another delay, Jinora raced off to the only park she knew. The one Nima had saw her punch Kai at.

She could already see Kai once she got there. As he looked at something in the distance, he glanced at her.

"...baby girl, come on! Walk over here! Slowly," he called. "Nima, please."

Kai was edging onto the ice in the middle of the park, the ice underneath his feet crunched from the snow on top of it. Jinora reached out a hand as if to help steady him, but she froze, eyes widening at her the sight of Nima in her purple lounge clothes and little fuzzy socks, frigid wind brushing through her hair as she stood near the middle of the frozen pond.

Jinora's heart sank to her throat like lead. How had she gotten out that far? Why was she out there at all?

How had they not noticed she was gone to begin with?

The cold air blew flurries of ice across the lake, still clear enough to see water through where snow wasn't covering it - Jinora saw some fallen foliage floating just under the ice. Jinora took a step on the ice, retracting her foot immediately as hairline cracks ran out from under her weight. She looked at the ice under Kai's feet, which already had some larger cracks beneath, but still held him somewhat-solid along the more frozen edge of the ice. Nima, at the weakened center of the lake, however… Jinora's blood chilled as she looked up again at her daughter, and nearly flinched at the loud cracking noises under Nima's feet as she shuffled them.

"Nima!" Jinora called. "Baby, what are you doing!? Come over here, please!"

She could see Nima shaking her head, her face scrunched up from either the cold or something else as she hugged herself. Jinora's stomach lurched, calling out again. "Nima!"

"I don't want to!" Nima shouted harshly. "Go away!"

"Baby, we can't do that," Kai told her. Jinora could see him taking small, but sure steps toward Nima as he spoke. "Look, come on over here and you can tell us what's wrong, okay? Can you do that?"

"I DON'T WANT TO!" Nima shouted far louder this time. She was holding herself tight, tight and rocking side to side as if she didn't know what else to do with herself.

Biting her lip, Jinora took a step on the ice, her heart nearly jumping through her ribs when a crack appeared. She wouldn't walk too far lest the ice collapse from the weight of three bodies, but she would walk far enough. Far enough so that her daughter could get a closer look at her face. Maybe that would help. Maybe.

"Then, tell us now, baby," said Jinora. "Tell us what's wrong. We'll take care of it! We promise!"

That seemed to tick something in Nima because she stamped both her feet and Jinora nearly screamed when a cracking sound reached her ears.

God, just don't let her fall. Raava, don't let her fall.

It was all Jinora could think just to keep her own focus on the task at hand. If she could just go over there and grab Nima then they could talk to their hearts' content, but she knew there was no doing that otherwise Kai would have done it already. Irresponsible he may have been, a scumbag even… maybe...

But he wasn't about to put their children in danger and Nima was probably in the most danger she'd ever been.

Don't fall. Don't fall. Don't fall, Jinora repeated to herself.

"Nima, please!" Kai instinctively reached out despite the distance when Nima stomped her feet on the ice. "Don't! We can-"

Nima shouted at them so loud, so viciously and hoarsely that her face was turning red underneath her light brown skin, her tone shrill as could be, a tantrum spilling out like molten lava. It was terrible and ruthless and, by god, it was going to be heard. "I WAS MOM! AND I WAS DAD!" Nima roared, stomping her foot down hard again. "I DID EVERTHING! I COOKED FOR THE TWINS! I CLEANED FOR THE TWINS! I DID THEIR CLOTHES! I WAS MOM! I WAS DAD! NOT YOU! ME! YOU LEFT ME!"

Jinora's stomach sank and something about it made her feel sick. She looked over at Kai, his arms limp at his side. The blow had been hard for him, too.

I was Mom and I was Dad.

Nima had said mom and dad. That much was clear.

Jinora attempted to appease her. "Baby, we-"

"YOU BOTH LEFT ME! YOU NEVER CAME TO FIND US! WHERE WERE YOU? I NEEDED YOU! I STILL COOK FOR THE TWINS AND CLEAN FOR THE TWINS AND TAKE CARE OF THE TWINS BECAUSE YOU WON'T! I'M MOM! I'M DAD! I DO EVERYTHING AND I TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING AND I TAKE CARE OF THE BOTH OF YOU! THIS ISN'T FAIR! I'M TIRED. I'M ALWAYS TIRED AND ALL YOU DO IS YELL."

It was so hard to concentrate when Nima kept stomping her foot, each harsh footfall making some kind of cracking sound that had Jinora squeaking. Even from her position she could see Nima's huffing chest. She was exhausted. From the cold and from all the shouting. If they could just get her off that ice, she could shout all she wanted and however she wanted. Kai was still inching toward her, ever closer and Jinora was following his lead, little by little.

This wasn't just some tantrum, she knew. This wasn't just something born out of a bad day. Nima was mad at them both. That was fine. Jinora could take that. If she could just get off the damned ice-

"Nima. Baby girl," called Kai again. He took another small step. "I promise you we can talk about this. We'll make it better somehow. Just please. You can rest! You can do whatever you want! Just, Nima, please. We are begging you, honey-"

"EVERYBODY MAKES ME TIRED! EVERYTHING MAKES ME TIRED!" Nima stomped her feet again and again and again, releasing herself from her hug and clenching her fists at her side. "I DO EVERYTHING! I TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING! I-"

And that was when Jinora really did scream. The ice cracked and cracked, louder and louder each time until finally it would take no more. Nima fell right through the center of the lake, her own high pitched scream not even making a full run before it was drowned in the icy waters beneath the frozen lake. Kai was already on it, the ice be damned, he threw himself on his knees at the hole Nima had fallen right through, taking off his jacket before diving head first. Jinora was already there, slipping and sliding across the ice to get to them both as, she too, fell to her knees.

"Please, please, please… oh my god." She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and her breathing becoming more shallow. "Please come back up, oh my god, please come back up-"

They seemed to be down there forever, lost in the frozen waters. Needing something to do, Jinora quickly whipped out her phone and called for an ambulance, the police, fire station. Anybody really who could come and help them-

Just as an operator assured them that someone was coming their direction, a hand, then a head and then two heads emerged from the water, gasping for air. Well, Kai was gasping for air and that made Jinora nearly collapse as she realized her daughter was not breathing.

"Oh my god," Jinora cried, hot tears falling.

Kai didn't even look at her, putting Nima on top of his jacket and pressing his hands over her small body. He repeatedly pressed on the middle of her chest, bringing his head down to breathe into her mouth and then back again in a repeated motion. She lay still, the pressure making her body move, but not her own lungs.

Jinora put hands over her mouth, crying in earnest now. "Baby, please. Oh my god, sweetheart, please start breathing, just please-"

One more time, Kai breathing into their daughter's mouth and went back to pumping the spot over her heart with his hands.

She sputtered to life.

Nima coughed up water, almost hacking, her eyes barely opened, but she began to breathe again and Jinora let out a little yelp of something between relief and horror. Now that she was breathing, Kai took the jacket and wrapped it around Nima tightly, holding her in his chest. Nima's eyes weren't open and when Jinora reached out to grab a bare, violently trembling hand, it was as cold as the ice beneath their knees.

After that, it was a flurry as the ambulance finally arrived and took Nima in. Of course, both Kai and Jinora rode in the ambulance with her, neither letting her out of their sight as the paramedics did their work. They immediately removed her wet clothes, setting a warmer thick blanket over her body, put various heat packs all over her body and stuck an IV needle into an arm where some kind of liquid was attached to it.

The entire time, they could see Nima trembling as if her body was desperately trying to save her through it. Raava, she'd been out there in nothing but some thin lounge clothes on and it had to be only thirty degrees outside. Less, most likely.

Neither Kai nor Jinora talked, their attention rapt on their daughter, but when Jinora felt Kai's hand on her back, she didn't push it away just this one time.

-:-:-:-

All at once, Jinora felt like she'd aged ten years, and like she was five years old again, vulnerable and scared and unsure. She'd never liked hospitals; even when she had given birth to her children, she hadn't liked them, knowing that while she was facilitating the beginning of a life, someone else's was ending in the same building.

The stark white walls and floors seemed even more unfriendly now as she waited in Nima's hospital room, nurses and doctors rushing past every so often, a thick silence between her and Kai in the next chair over.

Even now, she could still feel the echo of her heart where it'd been pounding away behind her ribs. She had her hand in Nima's, if only, to make sure there was some kind of human warmth on her.

Jinora's head was spinning, yet, halted all the same. There was no need to address the elephant rhino in the room. That beast had stomped all over herself and Kai. No, she wouldn't excuse Kai from all of this. The good and the bad. Deep down in her heart she knew that he loved his children with all of his own. As it was, he was still in his damp, cold clothes. None of the nurses were able to get him to slip out of them into something more comfortable.

IV's were placed into Nima's arms, tubes running in and out of her and an oxygen mask on her face. She was still pale even though the doctors said that she would be fine more than likely, but they were going to have to monitor her for pneumonia among other things.

Jinora couldn't think. Could barely bring herself to move.

Her baby had nearly died and-

And, by the spirits, it had been all of their own fault. Kai's, yes, but…

I was Mom and I was Dad.

Still, none of this would have happened if Kai would just understand. Why couldn't he just get what it felt like for her? His voice, his every move… it infuriated her and grief struck her all at once. He had no right to be here anymore.

If he hadn't-

"Er…" said a nurse standing at the door. "Mr. Fong, Ms. Gyatso? Someone's here to see Nima. A Mr. Pabu Jegal?"

Jinora looked up. "Oh, yes, that's her, um, therapist. Send him in."

As the nurse left, Kai asked, "How's she been doing in therapy?"

Jinora's throat constricted as she said, "I don't know. I...I never even bothered to ask."

"Me neither," Kai said regretfully, and for the first time in five years, Jinora couldn't bring herself to be as angry with him as she wanted.

Pabu came in with a tight, grave expression on his face, his eyes cloudy and tired as he looked at Nima, laying still on the bed.

"I really thought we'd made progress," he sighed. Then, he looked at Kai and Jinora, his expression hardening. "You two. Outside."

Jinora had done well in school during the brief time she was there, so she'd never had to experience the dread of an impending harsh lecture till that moment. She stood up immediately and followed the therapist out to the hall, not even pulling away when Kai drew closer to her.

The door shut gently behind them, and Jinora felt Kai's hand on her elbow. She couldn't bring herself to draw away, not when Pabu was looking at them with a tight expression on his face.

"You let your daughter out of your sight long enough for her to-" He sighed. His voice was quiet but intense, and he inhaled through his nose again, looking sharply at them. "How long is the walk from your house to the lake?"

Both of them were silent before Jinora said, very quietly, "Almost half an hour? Leaning toward it..."

"So you both left your daughter unattended long enough to sneak out of the house and walk all the way to - she could have been out there for longer and gotten lost and frozen to death or-"

"We know, sir," Kai said. "We went looking for her as soon as we realized."

"And it was barely fast enough," he said sharply. "Did she ever tell you why she would go out in the middle of a lake on her own? Did you even bother to ask?"

Jinora swallowed. Kai didn't say anything. Of course, neither of them had bothered to ask. They hadn't had a chance because-

Because Nima had been in danger. Neither of them had thought about it or dared to even question her. They'd just wanted her to get off the ice.

"I-" Jinora stammered, barely able to talk at this point. "We didn't know she was gone…"

A weak answer. A stupid answer, but one true all the same. No, they hadn't known. They hadn't been watching. She was just so angry at Kai for not listening to her and not, for once, just doing something without being difficult.

"Jinora and I-"

"Were arguing." Pabu raised his brows as if he knew he was right on the money. "Well? Am I right? You two were arguing, weren't you?"

Their silence was enough answer to him and he rubbed his forehead. Irritated, disappointed. Like he had miscalculated. Expected more, but Jinora shook her head. "I was just so mad at Kai for not listening-"

"We had a miscommunication, okay?" Kai said tightly. "And is this really the time?"

"No," Pabu said before Jinora could retort. "No, it's not, but you know what? Here it is. Mr. Fong, you left. You left her." He winced, but proverbially took the stance of a man digging in his heels. "You left the entire family. And it ruined them. You have to get that. You have to accept that. Of course your every word sends her into a frenzy! She loved you and you just up and left for whatever reason! Didn't even try to explain yourself. Just gone. You have to get that what you did, no matter why you did it, hurt her and your children. From Jinora all the way down to the two kids who were two young to properly remember you and only can now to an extent because of Nima."

Jinora nodded, glad finally someone said it better, but then Pabu rounded right on her.

"And you need to quit taking all your energy out on hating a man who you happen to have three children with. At least so openly."

"I-"

"No, just listen." Pabu put his hand up. Jinora's mouth shut. "I get it. He left. It sucks. You don't have to like him, but you have to accept that fact that he is back in your life. Not for you, but because of the children you three have together. Do you even know why he left? Did you even bother letting him say his piece? No, because you're so busy hating him that now we're here."

He went on.

"But let me assure you that both of you had a hand in this. From what I've gotten from your daughter and spirits help me I shouldn't even be saying this..." He turned to Kai. "You need to let her be angry. Jinora needs to be angry at you for a while. At least some. Because if she doesn't then she's never going to feel like her anger was valid. Those kids were taken away from her, chiefly, because you walked out on them. No reasoning is ever going to change that. You left them." He, then, turned to Jinora. "And you abandoned them."

That, Jinora - how dare he, really - would not take. She had never done such a thing. Kai had. He had done that. He had been the one to do that. Not her.

"I never-" she began fiercely.

"Yes, you did. And you continue to do so. It's not like you were barred from seeing the kids. It's not like they said you couldn't ever come see them. Come visit them. Not once did you do any of that."

"I-" Her breathing damn near stopped. "I was trying to get it all together… I was just trying to-"

"You abandoned them too. Miss Gyatso, you stopped seeing your children for reasons I'm all too familiar with in my line of work. I apologize for talking to you like I'm picking you apart, but your daughter nearly froze to death and drowned today. And if the man you hate so much hadn't dived in and saved her at the moment he did, she might not be with us right now. When you're emotionally compromised, you tend to abandon them in the same way. Nima's told me how you just kind of walk out of the house after every argument with her father. How do you think that makes her feel? She's been through so much already and to keep watching you just… just walk out? And, what's more, is that from what I'm getting, you didn't exactly try hard enough to see them after they were taken away. You lost track of them entirely." Pabu frowned. "He may have abandoned them, yes… but so did you. He left them and you didn't come for them. Nima has been raising those kids since she was five. Truly, it's a child raising children."

Neither Jinora nor Kai spoke for a very long time. Then, after swallowing hard, Jinora said, in a very brittle voice, "Thank you for your honesty. I-if you'll excuse me, I...I need some time with my daughter."

Pabu just nodded, and Jinora walked back into the room, feeling numb and not entirely in control of herself as she sat down at Nima's bedside. She took her daughter's hand, which wasn't quite so cold anymore, and squeezed it gently, kissing the back of it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

She heard Kai behind her. "I am too."

For the first time in an eternity, Jinora did not want him gone entirely.

-:-:-:-

She woke up with a crick in her neck and a stiffness in her knees. Even sleeping in her bug had been better than this, she thought, as she stretched out in the plastic hospital chair.

She glanced over at Nima in her bed, fast asleep, looking far less pale, and she let out a soft sigh. The heart monitor was beeping regularly, like a noise of relief against the quiet. Nima's therapist was gone, having left after making sure that Nima would be just fine. Across the hospital bed from Jinora was Kai, having taken residence right next to Nima. Their daughter's hand was in his, Kai's head resting on his free hand as he slept.

For a moment, Jinora's heart flickered with a nastiness that she'd been harboring for weeks now, but… she found that she just couldn't muster it. That bitter ember in her could not start the fire of pain that it had been roaring for so long since Kai had come back.

Not with Nima sitting there. Not when Jinora apparently didn't know everything Nima had been through. And, dear Raava, Jinora had never asked. She'd never sat down and asked Nima about her experiences, about how she was feeling, even about how she'd felt with Kai had left.

It was just like Pabu had said. She'd been just as bad as Kai.

How many times had Nima wondered where was her father? What haunted Jinora in that moment was the question of how many times had Nima wondered where was her mother? And why hadn't her mother come for them? That was what moms did. They stayed by their children the entire way, but Jinora…

Jinora had not seen her children for the past three years and that was her fault entirely. Her own fault. Nothing had stopped her from seeing her children but her own self-pity.

"I fucked up," she said quietly, to herself, or to no one in particular.

"We," said a voice from across the bed. Kai didn't even look at her though. His eyes were on Nima. "We fucked up."

She almost smiled as she glanced back at him. "I was so busy blaming you…"

"You had every right to. You still do."

"But you didn't act alone. I…" She shut her eyes tightly. "Even when I came back, I kept leaving them. At least you were consistent when you came back." She picked at a cuticle, unable to look at him. "I kept telling myself that I was just trying to protect the kids, to keep you from disappointing them, but...I think was just trying to protect myself."

"I don't blame you. I hurt you. And I've never forgiven myself for it."

"I think I also…" Jinora bit her lip. "I wanted them to myself, in a way. I just...I wanted to hurt you back, by not letting you have them."

Kai bit his lip. "I'll admit that I was a little angry as well. Not the same way you were. I mean, I deserved that, but I just… I didn't understand one thing."

"What?"

"How? How did it happen?"

Jinora frowned. "What do you mean 'how', Kai? I don't want to get into another fight. Not right now."

"No, I mean, how did you lose them? We had enough money to keep you going until you found a good job and maybe even afford a babysitter while you did it. I left you everything we had. Every cent. I only had the clothes on my back when I left…"

Jinora blinked at him. "What? We had nothing. I couldn't even make ends meet working two jobs, I was trying to find a third when they were taken away...there was no money, Kai." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Wait, so...you didn't take it?"

"Of course I didn't! I thought - didn't he give it to you? All the money I had left. I had maybe twenty yuans on me at most, just to cover gas and some meals, I left it all in a big envelope with Skoochy to deliver to you-"

"Skoochy? What?"

"Jinora, I even left a longer letter, it - it didn't explain everything, but it at least had more information than that sticky note that I had to leave, I-" Kai looked at her desperately. "You didn't have anything?"

"All we had were leftovers after I had to pay rent on my own," Jinora said. "There was no money."

"There should've been. There-" Kai's eyes softened. "God, no wonder you hated me so much."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll..." He took a deep breath. "We'll have to track down Skoochy, and then everything will make sense. But we'd both have to go, and…" He squeezed Nima's hand. "We should just stay here till she wakes up."

Jinora was quiet for a long moment. "We can deal with him later. All of that. I think we need to make sure she's okay. And get ourselves together for… for all the kids. They didn't deserve what we did to them… do you think we should see Nima's therapist?"

Jinora had to admit that the idea made her nervous. She would do it of course. Of course. Anything for her baby. But, still, the idea made her nervous.

Kai stared at her.

"...what?" she asked, no longer having it in her to be annoyed with him at the moment.

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "That's just the first time you've asked me my opinion since we've… met back up. At least, it's the first time I remembered."

"Well...you're their father. Whether I like it or not. And...you love them. I still don't understand everything, but I know you love them, now." She looked down at her hands, taking Nima's in one of hers again. "We should work together. Like...like you were trying to do when you first came back." She looked up at him shyly. "I'm sorry."

Kai's throat bobbed. "I-" he began, looking her in the eyes as he did. He sighed. "So am I. I really am. I know that it might not matter to you exactly, but… I didn't want to leave. I never did."

Jinora could feel her eyes stinging again. "Then… then why did you?"

Before Kai could get an answer out, there was the quietest cough, the quietest whisper and the faintest squeeze of the hand. Kai must have heard it too because he looked at Nima and nearly stood up, brushing her hair from her face with his free hand.

"Mommy?" Nima whispered. It was so weak. So faint that it broke Jinora's heart. They had done this to her, despite the relief in Jinora's heart right now. Nima's own parents had been the one to put her right here. Jinora caressed her cheek.

"I'm here, baby," Jinora whispered back. "Both of us. Daddy and I are right here."

Nima smiled weakly. "Mommy... can we get ice cream later?"

She chuckled softly. "See if it's okay with your father."

Nima blinked in surprise, then looked at Kai, who nodded tearfully.

"Whatever you want, baby girl," he said softly. "Mommy and I will be here with you the whole time."

Nima beamed as best she could and, spirits, Jinora felt her heart swell two sizes. Jinora pressed a kiss to her forehead, her daughter only managing a small, yet happy, "Yay."

Jinora laughed despite herself. "Just rest for now, baby."

Nima sighed softly and closed her eyes. "Okay."

Jinora looked up and exchanged a glance with Kai, and could no longer muster up any real malice for him. Even in spite of all her questions, he was here, holding their baby's hand, and for now, that was enough.

She smiled, grateful when he smiled back.

Their family would be okay.

The awaited chapter ten. Good lord we made ya'll wait. I have to warn you that this is the last finished chapter in the queue, but we'll try to get new chapters done as soon as school permits us to! For now, enjoy this new chapter and hopefully chapter 11 will be out before it's too long.

As always, we really love those reviews. Those reviews keep us motivated to write the story and keep us going. Thank you for reading! Tune in for next chapter!