Settled comfortably in their chairs; they all began to fill their plates with the salad, chicken, rice, and bread that Castle carried out. They sat comfortably at the dinner table, laughing at the story Alexis was telling about her trip with Grams. Kate kept stealing nervous glances at Rick as she ate but calmed down when he kept smiling back.
"Dad tells me you went to his book signing. Did we miss anything good?" Alexis asked Kate innocently.
Kate could feel her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she remembered that wonderful night. She quickly turned her poker face on and replied, "Don't worry you didn't miss much. You know perfectly well how these parties work. Your dad had random women at his side most of the time and they begged him to sign everything even their," she looked down and jealousy seeped into her voice as she said, "breasts." She flashed a forced smile at Alexis and was thankful that Castle was able to steer the conversation somewhere else as she got lost in her own thoughts.
After they finished eating Martha disappeared to her room. Kate helped put the leftovers away, rinse the dirty dishes and place them in the dishwasher. Due to the jet lag, Alexis told them that she was going to hit the sack early. Kate was surprised when Alexis put her arms around her, pulled her close for a hug, and said, "Thanks for coming to our house for dinner. We love having you." Kate recovered quickly and found herself hugging Alexis back as a smile spread across her face. Alexis placed a quick kiss on Kate's cheek and called good night over her shoulder before heading sleepily to bed. That girl always had a way of making her feel loved.
Once Alexis left to her room Kate and Castle found themselves staring at each other and an awkward silence settled among them.
"Kate, before we start talking I have something I want to give you." Castle said as he lead her towards the couch to sit. He pulled out a small box and handed it to her. Kate eyed the box suspiciously, scared about what might be inside of it. She could feel her heartbeat flutter rapidly inside of her chest. What the hell? He can't be serious! Is this a joke? She prayed there wouldn't be a ring inside.
Castle watched Kate struggle with the box he presented. He didn't realize that she would get so worked up over the box. He had to reassure her.
"It's just a thank you gift for everything you have done for me," Castle quickly added. Kate breathed in relief and relaxed her shoulders. Castle proudly watched Kate's hand shake, Her eyes pop out of their sockets, and a few tears form in the corner of her eyes when she opened up the white box.
Kate let out the breath she didn't realize she held and managed to relax a little bit. Even though he assured her that it wouldn't be a ring Kate still hesitantly opened the box.
"It's beautiful Castle," she said, eying the bracelet and running her long slender fingers across the small diamonds.
"Castle, I can't!" she looked up at him teary eyed. His heart stopped beating. Was she really going to leave the relationship that never started. He tried talking but couldn't seem to find his voice. "I can't take this bracelet. It's too much."
He was so surprised by her reaction because most of the women he knew, would die for this bracelet. They would do anything for him just to get something from him, but not Kate. That's what struck him most about her. She was a very independent women and she didn't like to receive help from anyone. It was the one thing that annoyed him, but admired about her. He wished sometimes that she would let on more about what she felt, but he knew that, that was wishful thinking for now. If he pestered her enough maybe she would finally understand that he really cares about her. He would never leave her even if a million obstacles are thrown their way.
"I wouldn't know what to wear with this. It's too fancy," Kate said.
"Just wear those heels you got on and it'll go perfectly with that bracelet," he said with a smirk on his face. Kate rolled her eyes but smiled back at him.
"Castle, before you give this to me you might want to hear me out." That treacherous feeling he had earlier, returned to the pit of his stomach.
"No, nothing you say will make me take this back!" He said, firmly looking her straight in the eye. "I know its not easy having me around the precinct all the time, you deserve this."
"Yeah, you're right you are soo annoying," she lifted her eyes to his and smirked. "But I've gotten used to it." she bit her bottom lip playfully. She slowly but nervously continued, "Castle, I remembered everything from that day, the funeral, the gun shot," her eyes watered as she said, "and the words you said."
She couldn't breathe. She just stared at him waiting, expecting him to speak or yell. He looked blankly at her, trying to comprehend what she said and then he realized.
"When? Did you always know? Did something happen to help you remember?" Tons of questions popped into his head but she cut him off.
"I always knew. Please, before you get mad that I lied, hear me out." She didn't want to lose him now, and she had to start by telling him the truth. "When you said those words, I just got shot. I didn't know if you meant what you said, or if you were saying it because I got shot. At that time I was still with Josh and I just needed time to think about what I wanted." She tried talking as fast she could so she could get everything she wanted out there, but she could see the anger grow in his eyes and face.
"I remember those days perfectly," Castle said harshly. "I worried about you everyday."
"I'm sorry!" Kate bit her lips trying to hold the tears back. She was trying to keep all her emotions in check, but this was going to be be so damn hard.
"What if things don't work out between us? What if you leave-" She could feel the tears threatening to leave the rims of her eyes but she forced them back by blinking a couple of times.
He could feel the anger rise inside of him. "Don't you think we should talk about this together? You know, before you write off what we have going on between us." He knew he had to calm down. He was scared that if he didn't talk calmly, she might run from him again.
"I've been with you for so many years. I know I haven't got the most perfect record, but can't you trust me? "
"I do trust you, I trust you with my life."
"But not with your heart?" Castle quipped. He didn't mean to be so harsh with her but he couldn't stop himself.
"I'm not ready for those words yet.." he could see the pleading look in her eyes as she said it.
"I'm not going to push you to say it, not ever, but you have to trust me." he said softly.
"I told you, those walls I've built, they are still up. Thanks to you they are slowly coming down. I want to have that one and done relationship with you."
Castle ran his fingers across her lips and then leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back and raised her hands to his face. They started out slow and soon made their way deeper into each others mouths. Castle ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her closer to him. Their breathing increased and Kate let out a soft moan as Castle left a trail of kisses from her neck to her mouth. Castle pulled away and said,"I love you Kate."