Chapter 9: The Crescent Moon

"There are nights
when the wolves are silent,
and only the moon howls."
—George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Derek sat on his couch, turning the pages of a large leather bound tome about various monsters and supernatural creatures that are sometimes known to consume brains for survival. He was surprised by the sheer number of creatures that he hadn't known lived off of brains.

He thumbed the corner of a well worn page about the Arabic ghilan. He already knew that wasn't the creature they were looking for, as the text stated it typically preyed on young children, or was known to eat the brains of the dead. Derek breathed in as he turned the page, taking in the musty scent wafting from the book. He couldn't say why he loved the smell of old books so much, he only knew that he did. Jackson had teased him about it on more than one occasion, calling him old fashioned. Maybe he was.

The smell reminded of him of home, he supposed. Or, the home he had lost. He remembered countless hours spent playing in the library of his old house when he was very young, begging his parents to tear themselves away from whatever research they were doing and join him. He remembered sunlight streaming through the open windows as he sat at the tables himself, studying for some high school test. He remembered the way the library had smelt just like the old book in his hands.

He wished he'd been able to show that home to Jackson. Wished he could take him through the house as it had once been, gleaming and beautiful and full of life, not burnt and crumbling as it now stood.

But that was a stupid thing to wish for, and he knew that. That home and the life he had lived in it were gone, every single part of it burnt up and destroyed forever. Jackson would never see the place Derek had used to live in, never meet his family. He accepted that, but that didn't make the thought of it any easier.

"Have you found anything?"

Derek looked up and across the room at Lydia, who wore a frustrated look on her face. He shook his head, and Lydia made an angry noise and slammed her book closed. "I'm sick of books," She said, moving the volume she'd been reading out of the way and grabbing up her computer instead. Two hours ago she'd done the same thing with the computer, and grabbed the book instead. "I'm going to expand my search in the database," She said, clicking on the computer. "Instead of things that eat brains, I'm going to look for things that eat any organ,"

Derek nodded. "Good idea," He said.

Lydia clicked around on the computer, and then sat back and waited for her search to load. The database Deaton had given them was extensive, and it took a while to search through the whole thing. As she waited, Derek saw her glance over at him. She looked away quickly. He wondered if she was thinking of saying something further to him. Should he say something to her? So far they'd only exchanged a handful of sentences, mostly about what each of them was doing as far as research went.

He wished Jackson was with him, both because this would be considerably less awkward with him here, and because if Jackson was inside with him and Lydia, then he wouldn't be out on the streets looking for two maniacs that wanted them dead. He hated that he hadn't been able to go with him, that he was forced to stay inside and play babysitter to Lydia.

That wasn't fair. It was not Lydia's fault her powers made her a target, but gave her no way to defend herself. To leave her on her own would make her a sitting duck. And Derek was sure Lydia liked this situation no more than he did. Liked it even less, probably. Not only would she be feeling helpless, which Derek knew Lydia hated to feel, she was forced to be looked after by the person he boyfriend had cheated on her with.

Derek swallowed, and looked at Lydia, who was currently examining her finger nails with an unsatisfied look on her face. He should say something to her, apologize for what had happened. That would the right thing to do.

A moment passed. Derek looked at Lydia and said nothing.

Lydia looked up, saw him staring. "What is it?"

Derek cleared his throat. "Uh, is the uh... is the search done?" He asked, feeling like a moron. What was his problem? Was he afraid of Lydia? That was ridiculous, obviously. He was an alpha, and she had no offensive powers and very little training. Still...

Lydia glanced at the computer screen, and clicked around a bit. She nodded. "Mmhmm," She said. "There's over 3000 results," She said. She clicked something, and then made a face. "Holy hell, have you ever heard of a daribus?" She asked.
Derek shook his head.

"It's a cousin to the succubus," Lydia explained. "It takes the form of a beautiful woman, and preys on unfaithful men..." She glanced at Derek. "Guess what organ they eat?"

Derek's mouth opened slightly.

Outside of the loft, he heard the sound of a car pulling up. Relief came over him, and he stood up. "Someone's back," He said.

"Who?" Lydia asked.

Whoever it was stepped out of the car, and Derek breathed in. "Allison, Erica and Jackson," He said. Then he frowned. He could only hear two sets of footsteps. "Something's wrong..."

Derek went to the loft door and pulled it open. He could tell there was something off about Jackson's scent. He was hurt.
Erica and Allison entered the front of the building, and Derek saw Jackson slung over Erica's shoulder. He rushed over and took him from her. He was unconscious, but seemed otherwise unharmed. "What happened?" Derek asked, carrying Jackson back inside the loft. "What's wrong?"

Lydia stood up as they entered, looking questioningly from Jackson to Erica and Allison. Waves of worry came off of her.

Erica and Allison followed him in. "We ran into those girls," Erica explained. "The oculus had wolfsbane powder on her,"

"Jackson got it all over him," Allison said. Derek laid Jackson down on the bed, and took his face in his hands. Jackson's breathing was steady, but his pulse was racing. He was in pain, and Derek took it from him. Jackson's pulse slowed slightly.

"But he's going to be okay, right?" Lydia said. "Wolfsbane can't kill you, can it?"

"It depends on the method of delivery," Derek said. "A wolfsbane bullet or injection could be deadly... in powder form he should be alright,"

Lydia, Allison and Erica all sighed. "How's his arm?" Erica asked. Derek furrowed his brow. "I uh, broke it," She confessed. "To trigger the healing process,"

Derek nodded. He looked at Erica, and wondered if she too was having a sense of deja vu. Jackson injured, unconscious... having to break his arm to help him heal. It wasn't anything like the time the Hasting sisters had manipulated Jackson into attempting suicide, but Derek couldn't help thinking of it all the same. "That should help," Derek said. He touched Jackson's arm, inspecting it. "It's healed already,"

"What happened with the girls?" Lydia asked. "I don't suppose you have them tied up in your trunk, do you?"

Allison shook her head. "We fought, but they got away. We would have gone after them, but..." She glanced at Jackson.

Derek swallowed. "Thank you," He said.

Erica nodded. "There's something else," She said. "I noticed something, when we were fighting them,"

Derek stared at her, waiting for her to continue. "What?" He asked.

Erica glanced away, and then back to Derek. "They both had marks on their neck," She said. "It looked like a scar on the oculus girl, but on the werewolf it was tattooed on,"

"What were the marks?" Lydia asked.

Erica looked at her. "Crescent moons," She replied. Lydia's jaw clenched slightly. "Boyd says you've been drawing those a lot, huh?"

Lydia nodded. She grabbed a notebook she'd been using, and flipped it open. "I've been drawing them everywhere," She said, showing them the book. A few notes were jotted in a neat handwriting, but the majority of the page was taken up the simple outline of a crescent moon, drawn in various sizes. "I've got no idea what it means. I mean, I've done my research and I know their are about a thousand meanings it could have, but I don't know what it means for us,"

Erica turned back to Derek, her jaw set. "He does," She said.

Derek glanced away, and looked back at Jackson.

"Come on, Derek," Erica snapped, stepping closer to him. "What aren't you telling us? Boyd asked you about this a week ago, and you brushed him off,"

"Do you know something about these girls?" Allison asked. "Because if you do, you need to tell us,"

"They hurt Jackson," Lydia said. "They could have killed him! If you're holding something back—"

"I'm not!" Derek snapped, turning to the three girls berating him and flashing red eyes. "I don't know anything about these girls. If I did, I would have said so,"

Erica continued to glare. "But you know something don't you?" She pressed.

Derek hesitated. He didn't want to talk about this, didn't like the dredge up the memories. "I knew someone... a long time ago," He began slowly. "She used that symbol. She would... she would sign it on notes and other things," Derek swallowed. "When I came home and found my house on fire, I ran inside and found that symbol burning on my living room wall." He glanced away, the memory still too vivid in his mind. He could still smell the fire, still feel the smoke stinging his eyes... still remember Laura dragging him out of the house again, collapsing together on the grass.

When Allison spoke, the harshness was gone from her voice. "My aunt," She said. Derek nodded.

Erica frowned. "That doesn't make any sense," She said. "Why would a werewolf hunter use the moon as their symbol?"

"It's not just a crescent moon," Derek said, feeling tired. "It's also one of the alchemical symbols for silver," Derek a seat on the edge of bed, and rubbed his eyebrows. "There's more than one symbol for silver," He mumbled. "She picked the moon because it was ours. Because she wanted to twist it. Let us know that there was nothing we had that she couldn't take,"

"Well, I guess now we know something about them," Erica said.

Derek nodded. "Whoever these girls are..." He said. "They knew Kate,"

It was dark when Jackson woke up, returning to consciousness with a sickening jolt. He bolted up on the bed, looking around for the girl who'd he'd been fighting with, for Erica and Allison.

Instead he found Derek by his side, hand on his shoulder, gently telling him to calm down. "It's alright, you're okay Jackson," He said.

"Erica and Allison, what happened to them?" Jackson asked.

"They're fine too, they brought you here. They waited around for a while, but eventually they had to leave. You should give them a call, let them know you're alright."

Jackson nodded, and put his head in his hands. There was a pounding in his temples that felt like someone had put his head in a vice and was slowly squeezing it around him. His mind felt murky, like everything had become slow and dark and impossible to see through. He remembered fighting the oculus girl, remembered her doing something... a powder. She'd blown a purple powder in his face, and it had burned him. Then everything was black. "I thought I was dead for sure," Jackson mumbled. "What did that bitch do to me?"

"Wolfsbane powder," Derek said. "Not fatal, but not pleasant either," Derek reached for something on the bedside table. "I made you some fennel tea, but it's cold now. I'll warm it up for you," Jackson nodded.

Derek warmed the tea for him in the microwave, then brought it back over. Jackson sipped it slowly, imagining that he could feel the hot liquid washing away the poison that girl had given him.

"Erica and Allison noticed something, during the fight," Derek said.

"What, how completely useless I am?" Jackson muttered, cupping his hands around the mug.

"You're not useless, Jackson, you were poisoned. No one could be excepted to remain conscious with a face full of wolfsbane,"

Jackson sighed. "Alright, what did they notice?"

"Those girls have marks on their necks," Derek said. His eyes flickered down slightly, and Jackson saw his jaw clench. Jackson put his tea down and moved closer, taking Derek's hand in his. Derek leaned in to him, and pressed their foreheads together. "It's Kate mark," He mumbled. "The half moon crescent, it's what she always used..."

"Hey, remember, she's dead," Jackson said, running his hand along Derek's arm. "She can't hurt you anymore,"

Derek shook his head, pulling away. "You know that's not true," He said.

"You're right, I do know that," Jackson said. "And I also know that you're stronger than her, alive or dead,"

Derek was quiet for a moment. He turned away. "I'm not," He said. His voice was small and sad. "I... it's a lie. My strength, my power... it's a fucking lie," He put his head in his hands. "I'm weak. It's all I've ever been,"

Jackson pressed himself to Derek side. "Bullshit," He said, pulling Derek's face towards him. He looked him in the eye, hating the sad defeat he saw staring back at him. "You're strong, Derek. You're the strongest person I know, and you want to know why? It's not because you're the Alpha, and it's not because you can punch a hole in a wall or kick everyone's ass in a fight. It's because after everything she put you through, everything she took from you, you never gave up,"

"I did give up," Derek said, barely speaking above a whisper. There was a look almost like fear in his eyes, like he was afraid Jackson was going to agree with him. That everything thing he thought about himself was true, and he was a worthless coward just like he thought. "There were so many times... so many days..."

"But you kept going," Jackson countered. "Every time you thought you gave up, every time you thought you couldn't go on, you did. And there are bad days, and fucking terrible days and sometimes it's too much but you kept going. And that takes strength. Even when you feel nothing but weak, you're strong, Derek,"

Derek looked at him, and Jackson leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against his mouth. They lay back on the bed together, Derek resting his head against Jackson's chest, arms circled around his waste. "Can I tell you what Dr. Kaya told me, last time I had a nervous breakdown in her office?" Jackson asked, running his fingers through Derek's hair. Derek said nothing, and Jackson figured that meant OK. "She said the people who hurt us... Matt, Kate... they chose to do that to us. They made the choice to be abusers, and to make us into their victims. And that's—we don't have to be ashamed of that. Because it's not on us, it's on them. The idea that it's shameful to be a victim, that's just something else the abusers use to hurt us. Because—because now not only did they hurt us, they've made us ashamed of ourselves. Be we shouldn't be, because we didn't do anything wrong. They did. Their choice made us victims... and that's okay. But at the same time as we're victims, we're also survivors. And that's because of our choice. We chose to keep going, to fight even when it seemed like there was nothing to fight for. We survived them and everything they did. And we're going to keep surviving, because that's what we do," Jackson glanced down, and saw Derek looking up at him. "You and I are survivors, Derek. Don't forget that, okay?"

Derek nodded slowly. "I just... she gets to me..." He swallowed.

Jackson pressed his mouth to Derek's forehead. "I know, I get it," He said. "But remember that you're here with me, and that Kate Argent is dead," He raised his eyebrows. "She's dead and gone, and you're still here,"

"She's dead," Derek mumbled, laying back down against Jackson's chest. "But she's not gone,"