It was two hours before the dance and I was sitting in Kyle's room watching him adjust his suit for the twentieth time. Smoothing down the dress slacks and shirt that I borrowed off Kyle, I sighed when Kyle fidgeted again. Moving to stand in front of Kyle, I grabbed his hands to stop the constant adjustments only for the doorbell to ring announcing Cartman's arrival. Walking down the stairs prompted another preening session during which Kyle checked his hair and straightened his clothes. Opening the door, I was slightly shocked at how well Cartman cleaned up for the dance. He was decked out in an emerald suit and crisp sea foam green dress shirt that showed off his build. His hair was slicked back and in his hand, he held a small box. I was tempted to make a crack about giving Kyle a corsage, but stopped myself. Stepping out of his way, I watched as Cartman walked over to Kyle with a singular focus. When they shared a kiss, I turned away but not enough to not see the lip lock.
"Guys, we need to go and I'm sure my date is waiting," I said with a hint of amusement coating my voice. Kyle startled, which I found entertaining, while Cartman just raised his brow at me. Rolling my eyes, I walked out the door to wait by Cartman's truck. Soon we were on the way to the dance, after picking up my date of course. The traffic to the prom was epic in terms of normal traffic in South Park and surprisingly I could see Stan's car in one of the parking place. 'Isn't he supposed to still be in the hospital?' I thought in shock 'then again, nothing is normal in South Park.' Cartman parked in an available space near the exit of the lot and cut the engine; I nearly jumped in surprise when Christophe knocked on the window. Kyle snickered at my jumpiness but I just gave a shrug in return. Due to the exchange, I missed whatever conversation occurred between Cartman and Christophe. Before I could ponder what I missed, my date grabbed my arm and began steering me behind Cartman and Kyle. Entrance into the prom was inconsequential considering we had two obsessed, stalker-psychos to deal with; hopefully, they wouldn't both pull shit tonight. I picked a table in the corner of the room for our group and we sat facing the dance floor. My date decided my lap was more comfortable than the table, which neither I nor a certain part of my anatomy had any problem with; therefore, it was no surprise that I missed the approach of one of the stalker-psychos.
"I can't believe you showed up with him," said a disgruntled Stan. I looked up to see Stan with a few bandages peeking out of the edges his suit and a sling on his arm glaring at Cartman. Wendy appeared beside him in a strappy mid-thigh length dress with a murderous expression.
"You should still be in prison for assault; no doubt your connections are what got you released!" Wendy said maliciously, while linking her arm with Stan's undamaged arm.
"Actually, Kyle's father got me out of jail due to inefficient evidence of assault. Technically, I was defending Kyle and justified in my actions thusly. Regardless of that fact, it is a good idea to consider that such connections could make me a dangerous enemy," Cartman said calmly, almost as if he was discussing the weather. I nearly snickered at the expression on Wendy's face until her shock became fury.
"How dare you threaten me! Come on Stan, it's obvious that Kyle is a lost cause," Wendy said before trying unsuccessfully to pull Stan away from our table. Kyle, who expected some type of confrontation tonight, took the insult without complaint although the tenseness of his jaw betrayed his anger.
"I'm not letting my best friend be dragged under by that evil, son-of-a-bitch," Stan said while he held his ground in front of our table. Wendy glared at us before beginning an apparently common argument with Stan about her dislike of his relationship with Kyle. The more I listened to them, the more I felt a headache coming on.
"Listen, as interesting as all this drama is I'm not all that willing to be a part of it. Call me later, Kenny," my date said before standing up and leaving. I nodded and watched her hips sway as she left. Turning my attention back to the impending blowup, I was glad to see that the argument was over. Wendy was now alternating her glare between Kyle, Cartman, and Stan.
"You have to listen to me Kyle; I only want what is best for you, okay?" Stan pleaded. "Cartman is-"
"I don't have to listen to you and I definitely don't want to listen to you. Nothing you say to me about Eric is going to change anything, so deal with it. I know what is best for me and the few times I do not, Eric does, so back off. Now, turn around and go find your loving girlfriend," Kyle said in cold voice. I shivered slightly at the coldness in Kyle's voice, but it was when Cartman pulled a gun that I truly feared whatever was about to happen. Stan paled upon noticing the gun that Cartman sat just on top of the table.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell dude?" I asked frantically.
"I'm not going through this shit, he backs off or else," Cartman growled out, repeatedly tensing and relaxing his arm out of annoyance.
"No, I'm not talking to you fat-ass, I'm talking to the MVP over there," I said, "what the hell is your problem?"
"Ken, I-"
"No, don't bother; I don't want to know what's going through your head. Just realized this, he is a mercenary," I said pointing to Cartman, "he is dangerous, he is psychotic, and you are pissing him off."
"But-"
"No, shut up, I'm not done. Second thing is Kyle is a big boy, Kyle can make his own decisions, and Kyle is not your property. I understand where Kyle is coming from; I've seen the way you act around him. Kyle's right, he is not obligated in any way to be there for you yet you seem to treat him like he is. You do not know Cartman. I've seen them together, they are good for each other and if you can't be enough of a fried to support him then perhaps you should fuck off," I ended my uncharacteristic speech heatedly. Stan and Kyle both sat in stunned silence at my heated involvement into their problems. There was only a moment before Kyle sent a blinding smile my way and Stan unable to say anything to counter me walked away. We settled back into our seats hoping that we would at least get a little time to enjoy the dance before the next confrontation. I was sent to collect punch for us and unfortunately ran into Wendy and Bebe.
"Oh if it isn't the little fag-lover," Wendy sneered at me while blocking my path. I raised an eyebrow at her, but didn't rise to the bait.
"So where are they Kenny? I have enough to bust that psycho bastard that took away my Kyle," Bebe said in a maniacal manner. Rolling my eyes at the girl's obsession, I sidestepped the two and continued my trek to the refreshment table. Grabbing an armful of cups, I made my way back to the table very aware of the girl following me. Setting the drinks on the middle of the table I gave a quiet warning to the others before Bebe appeared behind me. She stood there in silence for a moment before she started smirking evilly.
"The police should be on their way as I sent the evidence to them earlier and informed them that I both you and I would be here at the dance," Bebe said smugly, "I will happily watch as they drag you out of here." As if on cue, sirens could be heard cutting through the music only minutes before two cops walked through the doors. They made their way over to the frantically waving Bebe and looked at our table briefly.
"Are you Bebe Stevens?" one of the men in blue asked. At Bebe's nod, the other continued with their questions.
"You sent in information regarding one Eric Cartman?" the other asked.
"Yes, there's the soon-to-be convict!" Bebe screeched pointing straight at Cartman. The officers nodded before one radioed someone, who I assumed was waiting outside for such a reason. Two more officials walked in, these ones were dressed completely in white and headed not toward Cartman but toward the confused Bebe. Once she realized what was happening, she began to struggle wildly, but no amount of struggling stopped them from dragging her out of the dance in a straightjacket.
"I'm very sorry about all this Mr. Cartman, but from what we can tell this young woman is very ill. We'll be taking her somewhere she can get the proper help," one of the police said apologetically.