If anyone just so happened to notice, I got rid of the second 2 part chapter-- its still there but I made it chapter 5 instead of 4 ½ . So everything is a chapter up from what it was before. Example: If I made no change this would be chapter 8 not 9.

Chapter 9

The pair appeared inside of a dark hallway, outside of an old beaten wooden door. Iruka watched closely as Kakashi reached out with one hand to turn the knob, and the other remained wrapped around Iruka's waist, securing him to the Jounin's side.

"Kakashi." Iruka muttered, trying to push himself away. 'This is wrong, I shouldn't have come. I should have run in the first place. No.' Kakashi tightened his grip on the younger man's waist, keeping him in place. "Why?"

Kakashi sighed, and glanced at Iruka out of the corner of his eye, letting the door swing open on its own. "I need to talk to you." 'To hold you.'

Iruka nodded slowly as a retort to Kakashi, before he looked up and stared at the room in front of him, almost as if he was debating whether or not to go ahead in. And he stared, until finally something clicked. Kakashi had not taken Iruka back to the Jounin's apartment, but to his own.

The place was just like he had left it; quizzes and scrolls scattered across the coffee table, the lamp shade next to the couch still tilted slightly to the left to allow maximum light to fall upon the corner of his beaten couch, and even down the hall- where his home separated two of the most important rooms from everything else: the bathroom door stood wide open, while his bedroom door remained tightly shut. It was Iruka's odd quirks that made his home more welcoming.

Iruka stepped into his living room, not quite believing this was actually his home, and he was in it. "You're here because this place has been empty." 'And you probably missed it.'

The tone of his voice stopped Iruka cold. He turned his head to watch as Kakashi entered his home, and quietly close the door. A sudden wave of homesickness washed over Iruka as his brain assessed the situation.

"No one came in here," Kakashi continued in an almost too casual manner. "They thought it would be dishonorable for a non-family member to enter the house of the deceased."

"What?" Iruka asked, spinning around completely to face Kakashi who leaned against the wall next to the door. "But, I'm not dead."

Kakashi nodded and shrugged himself off the wall. "I know that, Iruka. Genma, Anko, and I made sure no one would find out what happened. Right now almost everyone thinks you're dead or went missing in the confusion of the fight. But that doesn't stop ideas from popping up. Some have been pretty close to the actual truth."

Iruka took a deep breath to steady himself before he fell onto his couch. "Is my name on the stone?" he asked carefully. If it was, he vowed to himself that he'd scratch it off. He didn't deserve to be on that stone even if he was dead.

The brunette decided it would be better to not look at Kakashi at the moment, instead Iruka let his eyes travel to the tell-tale ramen broth stain on the arm rest, painfully reminding him of another he had left behind. "What about Naruto?"

Kakashi stared Iruka until the former Chuunin looked at him directly in the eye before he spoke. "No," he said slowly deciding to answer Iruka's first question before the other. "There is no body and many refuse to carve someone's name who was never found and isn't necessarily dead." Kakashi sighed and sat down next to Iruka. "As for Naruto, he knows."

Iruka stiffened. He did not just say that. "What?" Iruka wasn't even going to let himself think he heard wrong--he knew he heard correctly. "Why did you tell him?"

"Iruka we had to." he said, turning away from Iruka so he wouldn't be able to see his glare, or to see the look Kakashi knew as pain in his large chocolate eyes. "We couldn't let the boy think you were dead. But it might have been better if he thought that. H-hehe hates you."

Iruka suddenly felt numb. Everything he had done, everything that he had planned, was it really all worth it if Naruto would hate him in the end? "I-I see-" he spoke softly, voice filled with grief.

"That's what he said at least." Kakashi laughed dryly, still refusing to look into Iruka's eyes. "You know Naruto, so quick and impulsive. He probably wasn't thinking clearly. He could never hate you." Iruka nodded.

"Yeah,maybe."

'Stop kidding yourself Iruka, the boy hates you. You left him. You're to blame.'

'I know but-' Iruka blinked. That wasn't him talking to himself.

'Oh, you're quick. Thought you might have lost your touch considering you're no where near the Uchiha.'

'What? But-' Iruka jumped when he felt hands rest on his shoulders.

"Iruka calm down." Iruka blinked until his eyes focused on Kakashi who was crouched in front of him. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

The rest of Kakashi's words fell deaf to Iruka's ears. All he could hear was the voice of the one man he wished he never met.

'Did you honestly think you could get away from me? By running off with Hatake no less. Did you not think that I wouldn't know?'

"I'm sorry." Iruka said in a low whisper, he didn't realize he spoke allowed.

"For what?"

'I'm tired of your excuses,'

"You don't have to be sorry-"

'You're worthless, you have accomplished what you were needed for, I should dispose of you.'

"-you had no control over what you did-"

'I should have known you would be too loyal to the village.'

"-you can't be blamed-"

'I shouldn't have left you. You can't be on your own, always needing someone there.'

"-I'm sure people will understand-"

'Pathetic! Anko was always better than you.'

"-because I understand Iruka-"

'If it wasn't for that bloodline you have I would have gotten rid of you a long time ago.' The malice the dripped from those words made Iruka's blood run cold.

"-Do you know why I believe you Iruka?"

'But, now that you have done for me what I had planned out all those years ago, you're nothing.'

"It's because Iruka, it's because-"

'My need for your power is over Iru-kun. It's a shame really. I wish I could keep you but your constant rebellious attitude makes you too difficult to handle. Kabuto will be sure to rid me of you. It's been fun Iru-kun' There wasn't even the slightest hint of sadness within those last words before Orochimaru's voice vanished, leaving him feeling slightly empty were he held the man within his being.

"-I love you."

Kakashi smiled softly, before he hung his head. It was as if he was ashamed to admit the fact that he did care that deeply for Iruka. True, what the former Chuunin did had hurt him, but he had, unintentionally, became devoted to Iruka. Even if he couldn't call him his own.

Iruka just stared blankly ahead. His cut communication with Orochimaru was so sudden, Iruka felt a little dizzy.

It was then, in Iruka's hazy, confused, and emotion jumbled mind, that he finally heard Kakashi's words. "Wh-what?" Iruka asked slowly, afraid he had heard wrong.

"I love you." Kakashi repeated in a small voice, just above a whisper. 'Please, don't reject me.'

Iruka smiled softly. "To think-" he said quietly, reaching out his hand slowly, and bringing his legs up to fold under himself. "-that someone can still say that to me, after I betrayed my village and cause so many problems for the people I care about, Kakashi I-" Iruka paused. What was he doing? He couldn't do thisOrochimaru had said himself that he was going to die. What was the point in starting anything now? There was only so far, and so long you can run from the snake sannin before he found you one way or another. And because Orochimaru knew Iruka so well, it was only a matter of a few hours - a day if he was lucky - before his sensei would find him.

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask when he felt light pressure being place on the side of his face. "I want to stay here; with you." Iruka ignored how corny he sounded and settled for tracing the top of Kakashi's mask with his fingertips. He didn't want to admit to himself that he really did want to stay here with Kakashi.

"But you can't. Can you." It was a statement, not a question, although Kakashi would much rather it be the latter.

Iruka downcast his eyes before quickly lifting them; giving Kakashi a small smile. "Yes, my plan just went to hell, I might as well stay somewhere with someone who cares for me before I follow it."

Kakashi furrowed his brows, trying to understand what it was the Iruka had just said.

Iruka sighed softly, and leaned forward, whispering to Kakashi. "Don't question it, please."

Kakashi nodded slowly, and reached up to take hold of Iruka's hand that was still tracing the line of his mask. "I'll take your word for it."

Iruka smiled softly. "Thank you."

Kakashi watched Iruka for a moment. 'He looks so calm. He wasn't just listening to me, his sensei was speaking to him at the same time. So...why is he acting like nothing happened? Like everything is over.'

Iruka leaned back into the couch, his hand still incased within Kakashi's slightly larger one.

"Iruka?" Kakashi murmured.

Iruka 'hmmed', and closed his eyes letting his back hunch over, shadowing Kakashi's crouched form on the floor.

"What...did you mean when you said 'your plan'?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka laughed softly, showing his exhaustion clearly. "My plan-" Iruka sighed, showing his half-amusement over the subject was over. "-a lot of good that was. It was something I was trying to do for a long time now. Ever since Orochimaru took Anko away for us, I was planning to do something that would stop him. But I couldn't."

"Well of course, you were only twelve right?" Kakashi reasoned, before he stood and made his way to the couch to sit beside the former Chuunin.

Iruka nodded, cracking open an eye to watch the other before he continued. "Yeah. But, what I didn't know then, was how much I respected the man. Even after he took Anko, even after he forced me to kill the third member of our squad, and now, even after he made me kill the Third."

Kakashi starred at Iruka, his eye wide. Iruka released Kakashi's hand, knowing he just shocked the Jounin more than anyone else could.

"Its...confusing even for me to understand how I feel. But somehow I respect him so much. He made me feel like I really was worth something after my parents died. Like I was actually capable of becoming a ninja, being something in my life. And I just looked up to him. So much that I actually pictured him as the father figure that I didn't have anymore."

Kakashi made a grab for Iruka's hand, wanting to keep their contact, but Iruka kept it busy by smoothing out his robe over his legs.

Iruka frowned. "Do you think less of me, now that you know that?"

Kakashi gave Iruka a surprised look. "Iruka, I could never. I would never been ashamed of you either."

Iruka smiled softly. It was good to know even after all that Kakashi didn't think any less of him. Although Iruka didn't know what Kakashi thought of him in the first place.

The jounin replied with a grin of his own. "Can I ask you a question?" Iruka cocked his head to the side to look at Kakashi oddly. Kakashi took it as a 'yes'. "Why, when I asked you out all those times, did you say no?"

The brown haired shinobi blinked stupidly, before a wide grin spread across his face. "Out of all the questions, that was the least expected."

"Yes well. I am known for my unpredictability." Kakashi laughed lightly. 'I wonder...if this is what it would be like. Just sitting around, with the person you most care about. Talking about silly little problems and issues. This place has been empty for over two weeks, yet it still feels warm and cozy as if Iruka had never left it. It's nice...'

"True, true you are." Iruka laughed lightly, actually incredibly glad Kakashi had decided to ask a question that had absolutely nothing to do with what has been happening...sort of. "Well...I'm not entirely sure why." Iruka placed a finger on his chin and made a humming noise to seem as if he was thinking. "It might have something to do with the fact that the almighty Hatake is such a little stud muffin and I was so deeply nerved by your presence that I had to say no. You are quiet intimidating you know."

'Stud muffin?' Kakashi grinned, this was interesting. "Well, I can't be all cuddles and fluff, now can I? What kind of shinobi would I be then?"

"The teddy bear kind."

Kakashi smiled warmly beneath his mask, and pulled Iruka against him. His left shoulder blade resting on Kakashi's chest, while the older mans arm was firmly wrapped around Iruka's shoulders, keeping him in the odd half-hug position they were in. "What's the real reason you said no?"

Iruka shifted slightly, and rested his head on the Jounin's shoulder. "I was worried."

Kakashi raised a brow. "About what?"

A fist tightened around Kakashi's vest, and he realized he pressed into a subject that he should have left alone. "M-my...sensei." Kakashi bit his lip. He really shouldn't have pressed the subject. "When...Anko came back, and he returned later on. I learned that he was officially declared a traitor for taking away a genin. He came back into the village at night, and I felt his presence, so I went to the roof." Iruka paused and pulled at his robe, pulling it closer to him, as if he had gotten cold. "He was there, and he told me that he had to go and couldn't bring me with him. Said I needed time to get stronger on my own. He told me he would come back, and then I would be able to come with him because then I would be helpful to him."

Kakashi took Iruka's hand off of his vest and slowly began to relax the hand out of its clenched fist. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have said anything."

Iruka ignored him and continued. "I was sad, but excited." Iruka closed his eyes, and turned his head further into Kakashi's chest. "I was upset, that my father figure was leaving, but I was happy because he said that I would finally be able to help him. I would finally be able to return the favor he did for me. I was so stupid."

"What...what about your idea to stop him."

Iruka snorted. "Yeah." Iruka said, "I was going to get rid of him so he couldn't hurt me or anyone else again. But then he came back, and my idea just vanished. It took me a few years, to learn what he really wanted me to do. That he lied to me, and that he was just using my pain from being left alone for so long to only manipulate me." Kakashi frowned as he watched the top of Iruka's head snuggle deeper into his chest. "When I finally realized that, I re-made my plan and waited for him to come back to Konoha. I was going to make sure he could trust me, then...somehow I planned that I was going to catch him off guard and get him."

"But it didn't work." Kakashi finished. Iruka shook his head. "You can't expect something like that to work Iruka. He's a sannin. It's true that you're strong, but not even the best of us can hurt him. He's always one step ahead. Don't blame yourself for what happened."

Iruka nodded and relaxed against Kakashi, his hand resting weightlessly in Kakashi's.

"Iruka, what happens now?" Kakashi asked, tilting his head down to look at the smaller man.

Iruka looked up at Kakashi before shifting a little, and lowering his eyes. "I don't know. Kabuto-" Iruka stopped suddenly, biting his lip. "Can we not talk about that?"

"Alright." Kakashi said, speaking into Iruka's hair. "You came back for Sasuke, right?"

Iruka nodded. "Yeah. He knows what I wanted to do; he said that he would help me."

'Crap, did I screw up everything for him?' Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek before he asked. "Did...did I screw it up?" Kakashi paused. "Your plan I mean."

The younger man nodded slowly. "I was...going to get him. He was going to go to Orochimaru and he was going to train with him. Only for a short time. Then, we were going to use his newly gained powers and a combination of our blood lines to get rid of him."

Kakashi nodded to himself. A combination of the sharingan and Iruka's jutsu would be a very deadly combination. The eyes would no doubtedly keep the victim from getting away from the blast, and Iruka's chakra would kill the person instantly. "I'm sorry."

Iruka shook his head, and pushed away from Kakashi a bit to look at him comfortably. "Don't be. Its better Sasuke never goes to the bastards hide out or wherever he takes his new bodies."

"Is that where you were? His hideout?"

Iruka nodded. "I don't know where it is, so don't ask. I was unconscious on the way there, and I don't really know how I got here."

"Well if he let you leave so easily, and by yourself, why didn't you just escape earlier."

A sharp glare shut the jounin up. "I'm not stupid enough to try it. I may be strong, but there's no way I'm strong enough to take on Kabuto and Orochimaru's twenty-something guards just to run away and end up being killed by Konoha's ANBU for going missing nin." Iruka sighed, and brought his knees up, curling himself in a ball against Kakashi's side. "There was never a time I could have anyway."

"The bathroom? They can't follow you in there." Kakashi reasoned, although he knew that it was a half lie. Most captures didn't let you go to the bathroom. The bathroom was considered the cell. But, since Iruka was supposed to be at Orochimaru's side as much as Kabuto is, he doubted that Iruka would be treated like an everyday capture. "And you don't smell bad. I assume they allowed you to shower."

"Kakashi...the logic of a genius confuses me. Yeah, I had bathroom time. But like I said, I was unconscious when I arrived there. I didn't wake up till about the second or third day, and the first week I was so depleted of my chakra I couldn't move well. I wasn't left alone long enough to do much of anything for the second week."

Kakashi frowned. He really should have known that. Orochimaru never trusts anyone. Not even Kabuto, so why would he allow Iruka to just walk around freely in the first two weeks he was there?

"Well, I think we're done talking about my inability to escape from sannin's and their bathrooms. Kakashi, I know you and everyone else wants to know this stuff, but I really can't talk about it right now." Iruka said, trying his best not to snap out at the silver haired jounin.

"I understand." Kakashi spoke softly, just barely above a whisper.

"No, I don't think you do." Iruka glared. Kakashi could feel he was going to have all of Iruka's pent up frustration thrust upon him. Kakashi tightened his grip on Iruka's shoulders and prepared himself for anything. "Do you know how it feels to be held captive, yet not be at the same time? Do you know how its feels to have your new father figure to turn around and say that he is only using you for some stupid power you never even knew you had? How about finding out that the first person you ever really loved just ended up being a lowly spy used only to keep watch over you and make it so that you wouldn't have any strong ties to the village? And they never had any real feeling for you, only played along?" Iruka held back a sob that was threatening to tear open his throat.

Kakashi frowned, and held Iruka against his shoulder. 'Shit, I should really just shut the fuck up sometimes. I'm pissing him off more than making him happy. Well, actually...who would be happy at this? Damnit, this is so confusing.' "Iruka, I'm sorry I brought it up. But I understand why you don't want to talk about it." He spoke softly, petting Iruka's hair trying to calm him.

Kakashi continued to hold Iruka against his shoulder. He had to force himself from humming any sort of tune to fill the silence. And the silence, more than anything right then, was hurting Kakashi more than he liked to admit.

There wasn't supposed to be quiet moments with Iruka. Iruka was supposed to be happy, and get a conversation going, keep everyone focused on something and away from their own thoughts. At least, he knew it kept him away from his own thoughts. 'But, what if Iruka only talked all the time to keep himself from drowning in his own thoughts? What did Iruka do when he was alone and there was nothing for him to keep his mind on?' Kakashi bit his lip. 'What if- is that laughing?'

Kakashi looked down at his chest in confusion. The hand that was clenched in his vest was shaking, with laughter or sobbing, he wasn't sure. "Iruka? Hey, Iruka what's wrong?" 'Well that's a stupid question.'

"Kakashi." The voice was muffled since Iruka was speaking into said mans shoulder.

"Yeah?"

The shaking started again, as did the odd muffled noises. "You don't know what to say, do you?"

Kakashi frown to himself. "No, I don't."

Iruka turned his head, and rested his cheek on the shoulder he was just hiding his face in and smiled softly up at Kakashi. "You were never much of a talker but I assumed you had something to say to me if you brought me here and not to Anko or Ibiki." Kakashi flushed a bright red beneath his mask.

"Yes, well. You see. I was going to take you to Anko's place. Let her deal with you and all, I even summoned Pakkun to go and wake her up but, I changed my mind and stole you?" Kakashi let out a nervous cough and grinned widely. "Were you laughing just now?"

"Um...yes?" Iruka smiled a little wider, and adverted his eyes downward. "I just found the situation funny somehow." Iruka frowned, and lowered his eyes so he would not be able to see Kakashi's face as he spoke again. "Kakashi, what you said, earlier I mean was it true?"

Kakashi blinked, and scowled slightly. "Iruka." Kakashi grabbed Iruka's chin and forced Iruka to look at him. "Why do you doubt that? Why do you think I'd lie when I said I loved you?"he asked, as he inconspiculously fixed Iruka's sitting position into having the young former chuunin straddling the jounin's legs.

Iruka downcast his eyes. "Its not that I don't believe you, Kakashi. It's just that, with everything happening lately, it's hard to find someone who would tell me the truth."

"So you thought I was lying?" Iruka nodded. "I swear to you Iruka, I would never lie to you. I do love you." Kakashi spoke softly, cupping Iruka's face in his hands. "Its up to you to believe me or not." he finished, letting his hands drop down onto Iruka's shoulders.

Iruka watched Kakashi's eye, seeing the emotions that were so uncommon for shinobi to express clearly written on the mans face. Iruka smiled, his soft grin reaching his eyes and making Kakashi smile warmly in return. Iruka leaned closer to Kakashi, and let his breathe ghost over the masked shinobi and fingers outlining the rough transition from cloth to skin, as he spoke. "I believe you."

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A/N- This took way to long to write, makes me hate myself a little. Also, at first, I had them kiss at the end (not saying they didn't), I had it all written out and everything. But when I re-read it,…it just didn't work. So I had to get rid of it to make the ending, end better. (does that make sense?) So I'm leaving it all up to your brilliant minds for their kiss because I fail at making it work into the actually writing.

The next chapter will be a 'meanwhile' chapter. Meaning, it will be about what is happening to everyone else, while this chapter is going on. Understand? I cant help but feel that I confuse people. Anyway, next chapter won't be hard for me to write, and I really want it up before the end on the month.

One last apology. I'm sorry that this chapter Iruka has to many emotional changes so suddenly. Its so hard to write an angsty Iruka.

One last little thing...if anyone just so happens to get confused with anything; Ask! Dont be afraid to ask, I will answer you to clean anything up that may confuse you.

Review please! And I shall be merry!