Chapter 10 You Know it When You Hear It
Nick and Jen sat on the couch quietly, the last of the evening news playing out on the screen before them as Elise gurgled down her dinner. As she finished and Jen straightened up her clothing again and moved the baby to her shoulder, Nick switched off the television and just watched his wife and how she handled their child so naturally. He wondered what she had ever been worried about. He leant back further into the couch cushions as she patted the back of the infant encouragingly. This must be what domestic bliss feels like, Nick thought to himself.
"Oh!" Jen quipped suddenly. "Ohhhhhh," she frowned.
Nick looked closer and then chuckled. "And you thought you were going to get through the whole of this week without a spew moment didn't you?" he teased Jennifer gently. "Well, Sunday night, 6:30pm…you almost made it!"
Jen shook her head and couldn't help but laugh. "So close…I was so close!"
Nick stood up and took Elise from her, careful not to get anything unpleasant on his own clothes.
"Thanks," Jen said, still smiling. She heaved herself up off the couch, pulling the half soiled cloth off her shoulder and then pulling the shoulder and collar of her shirt up so it wasn't touching her skin.
"I'll put her down," Nick offered, stepping away from the couch and making for the nursery as Jen made for the laundry to peel off her milky vomit shirt and throw it in a bucket of water.
A few minutes later she walked shirtless back to the bedroom she shared with Nick and into the en suite, where she wiped at her shoulder with a wet flannel, keen to get rid of the smell of baby spew from her skin. She walked back out a moment later and almost collided with Nick.
"No traces left?" he asked jokingly before he got too close.
She laughed. "I'm clean," she replied before letting him gather her in his arms. They shared a long and drawn out kiss before Jen came up for air. "Is she asleep?"
Nick nodded into the nook of her collarbone where he was planting feather light kisses on her skin seductively. It had already set the butterflies in her stomach fluttering – a feeling she hadn't felt in a while, but she momentarily wondered if he was feeling the same.
"Nick…" she whispered in his embrace. "I may have got the spew off my shoulder but I'm still wearing grungy yoga pants and no shoes." She wondered what he could possibly see in such a vision of new motherhood.
"So what?" he replied, smiling handsomely. He was wearing similar attire – it was Sunday night after all – and they seemed to read each other's minds suddenly. "It's been more than two months Jen."
She knew. Boy, did she know. She nodded. "I know, I know," she replied. "And I know the doctor said we could…" She feigned her hesitation, just to get him worked up, not dissimilar to the day she threatened to sell his ute. "But I dunno Nick. I don't know if I feel quite there yet." He pulled back and looked at her, a streak of worry crossing his features for a moment.
She had to give him credit – he backed right off. "Well, if that's how you feel…"
"Besides, how could you find this attractive?" She pushed her shoulder towards his face, where she knew the smell of milky vomit still lingered, despite her washing off efforts.
It was this mocking move that caught her out, and Nick no longer fell for her damsel in distress act. He didn't even say anything, just smiled devilishly and pulled her in for another pash. She wrapped her arms around his neck willingly and didn't even feel self conscious when he lifted her up and hoisted her onto his hips.
As they stumbled over to the bed, Nick exploring and appreciating new curvatures and shapes in her post pregnancy figure, Jennifer felt a new, better than ever before, kind of rush in her veins.
Maybe my mother was right!
December 10, 2012
Tomorrow I'm going to drop Elise at Mum's and head into the city and into work. Nobody will be expecting me, but I mentioned briefly to Wolfey at Bernice's dinner party that I wanted to speak to him at some point, so it won't be a total surprise to see me. But I just want to keep it casual, simple. No decisions need to be made. I don't even know when Nick will be in the office tomorrow. But I'm just going to pop in.
Kind of miss the place!
Jennifer rubbed her hand in small circles on her daughter's tiny back, gently rippling the soft material of her jumpsuit with each one. She bounced her up and down ever so gently, willing her to fall back asleep. It was still so early, and she wanted to catch another hours sleep before she got up properly, if she could.
"There are my two girls," came Nick's soft voice from the doorway. Jen looked up and over at him and couldn't help but smile at the look on his handsome face. He stepped over to them in the dimly lit room and wrapped his arms around them both. With Elise curled up into a mini ball of sleep, her fists clenched, her head buried in her mother's shoulder and her feet tucked up in Jennifer's hand, she lay sandwiched between her parents blissfully unaware.
I wake up everyday
On my tongue a song of praise
You still take my breath away in the morning light
The smile remained on Jennifer's face as he swayed them to his own rhythm there in the middle of the room, his head bent to be close to the top of his daughter's. He placed a light kiss on her head before looking into Jen's eyes and smiling lovingly. What a complete family we are, Jennifer thought to herself happily as she kept a secure grip on the baby and revelled in her family's presence at the same time.
A few minutes later, Nick reluctantly pulled away from them, leaving one last kiss on Elise's cheek before he went to leave the room, ready for another day at Homicide.
Jennifer adjusted her hold on Elise and walked back to the bassinet to put her now snoozing child back into bed, but was interrupted just as she was about to lean forward and do just that. It was Nick – unable to stop himself from having one last goodbye. He placed a hand on her lower back and kissed her long and hard in farewell. Elise didn't even stir between them again.
"I love you," Nick whispered when they'd torn their lips apart. "I'll see you at lunchtime."
He walked backwards out of the room, savouring every single second of seeing his wife and daughter in such a perfect setting before him. The sun streamed through the window behind them and highlighted everything from Jennifer's golden hair to the button of a nose Elise possessed and burnt a pleasant image into Nick's brain that he knew would never dissipate. I'm so lucky he thought as he waved unwillingly to them as he finally left the house.
Like a sailing ship at sea bearing spice and history
You come swaying to me in your prime
You're thirty nine, you're beautiful and you're mine
"Jen!" Duncan called out, surprised to see his colleague back on the Homicide floor.
"Hey Dunny," she beamed, giving him a quick hug.
He smiled back. "You're looking good…that husband of yours will never stray!" he joked.
"I should hope not," she chuckled back.
"Where's Elise?" Duncan asked, propping himself up on the edge of a nearby desk as he spoke to her.
"She's with my Mum, getting spoilt rotten for the morning, you know," she explained slyly, knowing Janine was doing just that with the infant.
Duncan nodded knowingly. "Well Nick just went down to the basement to records if you're looking for him."
Jennifer shook her head slightly, hoisting her handbag further up on her shoulder. "Oh nah, we're catching up later. I just came to have a chat with Wolfey."
"Not handing in your notice I hope?" Duncan asked with a little frown.
"No," she smiled, her heart soaring to think that such a thing would sadden one of her colleagues so much.
"Good," he replied. He leant over, tapped her upper arm and kissed her on the cheek like a true gentleman. "'Cos we really miss you round here!" He walked back to his desk and left Jen to wind her way through the office and towards Stanley's door.
Allie hurried past her when she was just about to knock on their boss's door. "How are you Jen?" she asked quickly, starting to jog. "I'm just going down to records – want me to tell Nick you're here?"
Jen was still in the flurry of movement around her as Allie, like a hurricane, breezed past. She shook her head dazedly and answered. "If you want," she called out as Allie got further away. "But I'm seeing him later anyway."
Allie threw her hand up in the air and gave a thumbs up to Jen as she jogged into the waiting lift and its doors snapped shut immediately behind her. "Allie Kingston," Jen laughed under her breath. "Always running." She shook her head and smiled.
Jennifer and Stanley had just gotten past the niceties when the first earth shattering explosion shook the building. Both stopped talking as the walls shook around them. Photo frames slid off Stanley's shelves and several drawers of his filing cabinet popped open. It took them by such surprise that neither said anything for a moment, but Stanley began to rise out of his chair. As Jennifer did the same a second blast rocked them and each saw in each others eyes the fear. The knowing. The moment.
You know a terrorist attack when you hear it.
It can't be anything else.
The building vibrated around them, eerily without much noise. Both cops fled into the common area, only to come face to face with the startled reactions of their colleagues, stopped in their tracks at the feeling of the impacts. Several rushed to the few windows that bordered the floor Homicide lived on and Jennifer could hear them gasp at what they saw below them. Her eyes darted around the office in a panic as she spread her feet wide in her stance. She didn't know whether to run for her life or not. But when a third pounding of the building was felt, her mind was made up for her. She bolted for the stairwell as the roof above her head started to fall away. She didn't look back at Stanley, at Duncan. She just ran, taking the stairs two and three at a time, making her way as fast as she could down through the lower floors, desperate to get to the ground floor.
She was so focussed on the journey, as the building continued to buckle and shudder around her, that she didn't notice the sea of people who had joined her in the stairwells. They pushed and shoved past each other, jostling for position, stepping on feet, pushing people dangerously far over the stair railings, all in a wild panic to get to freedom. As Jennifer descended her third flight of steps the stairwell was suddenly plunged into darkness as the power was lost. Even the bright green exit signs were so longer lit up. She felt a minute ripple in the crowd as those around her reacted to the sudden and terrifying change of scenery, but she kept going blindly, just stepping down step after step.
A few moments later she felt a shove in her side and was toppled to the ground, hitting the cold cement of yet another stairwell with a hard thump as she landed awkwardly on her left wrist. Someone immediately stepped full force onto three of her fingers, crushing them painfully.
But she propelled herself straight back up again, refusing to become engulfed in the flurry of dread that had encased all those around her. Just a few more flights and she would be outside. In the sunshine. In the fresh summer air. Fresh summer air where she could breathe easily, wasn't surrounded by other people, and where she could start looking for Nick and her colleagues.
She continued to run, stepping over unidentifiable obstacles on the stairwells, brushing past warm bodies, losing one shoe and then moments later the other, then the sleeve of her blouse and the watch off her wrist all in the scuffle. She couldn't feel or hear herself breathing, but didn't think she was holding her breath. She just wanted to get out.
And just like that the sunlight beckoned her out of the pitch blackness and into its warm and enveloping embrace. She stumbled through a ragged, half deteriorating archway and into the light. Debris knocked her shoulders as it fell around her as she lunged towards the inviting glow, just happy to be out alive. She stumbled across the road, oblivious to those around her, only then realising she was covered in ash and dust. Her limbs felt half dead, not knowing what to do but hang out in front of her or by her sides. She couldn't seem to find the strength to brush the debris off her, yet somehow was able to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Around her people stood and sat amongst the rubble, even though previous world events really should've scared them into running away – as far away as they could get from the scene, just in case it got worse. But many were injured, or dazed as she was. They weren't sure which direction to go, or who could help them. In the distance Jennifer heard the screaming of ambulance sirens, but they felt so far away. It was only upon hearing the sirens that she finally looked down at her left hand to see it swollen and bruised already and several of her fingers grazed and bleeding, the ugly red of her blood staining her engagement and wedding rings. Only when she looked at the injury did it begin to hurt.
Suddenly someone put an arm around her and steered her towards safety. Jennifer struggled to speak over the calming reassuring voice that was talking softly to her. "Nick – " she stuttered. "Wait, Nick. I've got to find Nick. I don't know where he is."
The Samaritan squeezed her shoulder gently and nodded. "Don't worry, we'll find Nick."