I woke up the next morning anxious to talk to Helga. THAT was saying a lot seeing as I hardly talked to the girl unless it was necessary or inevitable. Not that I had a whole lot AGAINST Helga, but we'd never been fans of each other ever since I can remember.

Arnold claims it's because we were too alike but I would never classify Helga and I in the same category unless it was based on wit. The girl was quick, I'd give her that.

Either way, I couldn't hardly wait for lunch which was slowly approaching as I went to all my classes—even English where Phoebe chose to read all during reading hour instead of whisper with me in the back corner like I tried to do.

It only made everything feel even MORE hopeless than it had in the FIRST place.

"I'm just not so sure this is going to work," I told Arnold as we stood at my locker talking in between our last class before lunch. "Talking to Helga is one thing, but her advice actually working is another."

"I think that all depends on whether or not you follow the advice or decide to do things your own way again like you have before," Arnold said as he stood by my locker waiting for me to open it.

I fiddled with the lock as Arnold continued to talk, my eyes and mind drifting from what he was saying to across the hall where Phoebe was talking with Helga about something Helga must have been pretty passionate about.

"I think Phoebe is a smart girl," Arnold was saying, my eyes still locked on Phoebe from where she was gathering books across the hall, "and I think that given the chance, you can show her who you really are and she'll accept you just fine. But you have to give her a chance to do that, Gerald."

Phoebe's eyes glanced over to meet mine for just a second before they drifted away and she closed her locker only to follow Helga down the hall to whichever class she had next. As soon as they were out of sight, I opened my locker and sighed, deciding to answer Arnold.

"I THOUGHT what I was doing was RIGHT, man. I thought that being this smart, suave somebody, I could impress her the way she should be impressed with someone." The words came out sad and full of disappointment; Arnold picking up on it right away and he offered me a sad smile.

"Wouldn't it be much better if she was impressed by the real you? The you that I get to see and the you that makes you my best friend," he said sincerely and I frowned while finishing gathering my books and closing my locker.

"Arnold," I said flatly, "the only person impressed by me is RHONDA and that's not saying a whole lot."

"You don't know that, Gerald," Arnold reassured me, "for all you know, Phoebe was already impressed with you from before you started your crazy mission to impress her by being smart and suave."

I rolled my eyes as I gathered my books and shut my locker. "I doubt that. I've never done anything but talk nonsense to her about music and stuff."

"But those are things you're passionate about," Arnold said as we began to walk to our next class which we shared together, "and trust me when I say, from experience, the things we're passionate about can impress others beyond a doubt."

"But it's just MUSIC, Arnold. And stupid little diddies I write to be funny."

"And humor is one of the main things people find attractive about other people," Arnold countered, "have you ever thought of that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not really. I guess I don't consider myself all that funny. I'm just sarcastic."

"And so is Helga, but that's one of the things I love about her."

"Love, huh?" I asked with a sly smile and Arnold nudged me from where he walked beside me.

"Hey, we're talking about you, remember?"

I smirked. "Really? I'd forgot."

"Well listen to what I have to say, really listen to what Helga has to say and decide from there what is smartest to do, even if it's the most uncomfortable," Arnold advised as we approached our classroom and entered it. "Sometimes being your raw, true self is what's most important."

"Was it with you and Helga?" I asked bluntly and Arnold nodded his head.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it was. Helga had to do the uncomfortable thing and break down those walls for me to see who she truly was. And once she did that, I fell for her the way she'd always wanted me to."

I sighed as we took our seats and set our bookbags down beside our desks. "That's sweet and all, but how do I know it'll work with Phoebe? What if I DO that, break down my 'walls', and it doesn't matter in the slightest?"

Arnold nodded his head as if taking in all I'd said before responding. "That's the risk you've got to take when it comes to relationships, Gerald."

He was right. He was freakin' right, like always. I spent most of class thinking about all he'd said; thinking about how vulnerable it would feel to let down my guard and show Phoebe who I really was without filtering out all the bad stuff. Would it really work? COULD it really work to show her who I was deep down inside? Hell, I hardly knew what was deep down inside. What if she hated it? What if I ended up vulnerable and alone wishing I hadn't taken the risk?

I guess it's all I could do now. Life doesn't give you endless chances and even if it did, I'm sure I'd blow every one given the option. But Phoebe was different. I WANTED more chances—I needed them. There was something about her that just made me want her to want me more than anything else in the entire world.

Thinking about it only made me more anxious for lunch than ever. I HAD to talk to Pataki and see what her insider knowledge already new. Maybe then I could figure out the calculated risk and decide whether or not it was even worth it to try this one last time.

Helga sat at the table where she was usually joined by Phoebe or Arnold, but today sat alone. I approached her with my tray full of food and nodded towards the empty spot beside her. "Mind if I join ya?" I asked, Helga glancing up from her book as if to figure out who was talking to her and she shrugged.

"Sure, Geraldo, though I don't know why the sudden interest, I'm just reading," she said before returning to her book and turning the page, still completely enthralled.

"See that's the thing, Pataki, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something."

"About your fiasco of a date last night?" She predicted while reading on to the next page and taking a bite of her apple. "Heard all about it. Props to that last convo by the way. You really showed her some colors even I didn't know about."

"That's just why I want to talk to you," I forced the words out before swallowing hard and trying to make the next ones follow suit. "I-I…I uh, well, you see, I sorta-"

"Just out with it already, Tall Hair boy, I have another chapter to read before next period," she pressed on and I finally spit out the words I had been trying not to say though I desperately needed to.

"I need your help, Helga. Like… badly."

"I'll say," she said before marking her page in the book and finally setting it down. "But you have my attention, so what answers do you need?"

"It's not so much answers as I need… GOD it's so hard to say this out loud, why?" I wondered and Helga gave me a side eye that emitted more questions than answers.

"Advice? Is THAT the word you're looking for smart guy?" She asked and I nodded my head while snapping my fingers in agreement.

"THAT'S it. I need advice. BAD."

"Easy," she said while taking another bite of her apple, "how about you stop with all the shenanigans and just be your boring self? Although, I'm sure Arnoldo has already told you that one, hasn't he?"

I stared at her wide-eyed and nodded my head a few times at her remarkably accurate guess.

"So why don't you LISTEN to the kid and follow what he's telling you? He's right, ya know, as much as you may want him to be wrong, he's always right. Just give into it already."

"But why do you say that? Why do you two BOTH agree that I should just 'be myself?' As if it's that easy."

"It IS that easy, Johanssen," she said while waving her half-eaten apple around as she talked. "Just cut the crap, forget EVERYTHING you've EVER HEARD about impressing women, and just BE YOU, okay? You do you and the rest will just fall into place. Trust me."

"And why should I? How do I know you aren't sabotaging me for the sake of keeping Phoebe all to yourself?" I blurted out angrily and Helga cooly closed her eyes and took a breath before opening them once again.

Helga smiled to herself before slowly turning her head to look me dead in the eyes. "Few points here and I'm not going to repeat myself, so don't think about asking me to do so, got it?" Her voice had a stern handle to it and I couldn't help from sitting silently and nodding my head; my instincts telling me what Helga had to say wouldn't be easy to hear, but something I had to hear anyway.

Well, here we go, I thought and Helga finished her apple before licking her fingers and sighing. "First off," she said in between licks, "do you REALIZE how completely ridiculous you sound? ME sabatoging Phoebe's life all for the sake of selfishness? Pssh, what kind of 'friend' do you think I am? Mind your words next time, some thoughts are better left as thoughts and THAT is point number one."

"Point number one? Your response is by points and subpoints?" I thought out loud, the memories of last night's thrown-out agenda stuck in my mind.

"Don't interrupt, you realize I'm the one helping you, right? My turf, my rules. Second point," she began and I leaned in to listen to what her next words were going to be. "WHY would I sabatoge my own best friend? Especially when it comes to some guy she CLEARLY likes a lot. That would just be rude of me, don't ya think?"

"She likes me? She actually likes me like that? Even after all this?" I asked instantaneously and Helga shrugged while reaching for a bite of her salad.

"I mean she talks about you all the time and cares about what YOU think and all that jazz, so I'm pretty sure that means she has a thing for you," her words were blunt and obvious sounding, as if I should have figured it all out myself. "And DESPITE your crazy hair-brained ideas of impressing her which only turns her off more. I swear, Johanssen, if I didn't know any better, there isn't even a brain under all that hair of yours. If there IS, you're hiding it pretty well."

"Why do you say THAT," I demanded, though Helga didn't get any angrier and instead continued on in a calm, cool voice.

"Well that brings me to point number 3, bucko, and you'd better be listening up because this one is important," she said and I pushed my tray aside to lean on the table and listen intently at Helga's next few words.

"Okay? I'm listening…" I reassured her and she huffed before turning to look at me fully from where I sat beside her.

"Stop trying so hard, Gerald," she said bluntly, my eyes widening at the simplicity of her statement. "You're trying so hard that you're missing all these awesome chances with Phoebe and you're just throwing them out the window."

"How, how so?"

"How so? Are you kidding? You need me to spell it out for you? Foreign movie night—you could have just gone and enjoyed being with Phoebe. Dinner night at your house, you could have just relished in the fact that she wanted to meet your family, your WHOLE family good and bad. That's the thing about Pheebs, she just wants to experience life and let things fall into her lap, not have it all planned out. She plans EVERYTHING, but yet nothing at the same time. Did you know the poor girl doesn't even believe in love because she, like you, is too afraid to let it all in?"

I couldn't picture Phoebe afraid of anything, much less love. She seemed so confident and so sure of herself—so independent and proud of who she was… not afraid of something like love.

But then again, Helga said I was afraid too and while half of me thought she was wrong and messed up to lie like that, the other part of me knew she was right. I had never been in a serious relationship—most of my 'dating' experience was telling Rhonda to buzz off after school and look at Phoebe from across the hallway. That was it.

But was I really afraid of love? Was I really afraid of getting what I wanted and then messing it up entirely? Yes. Incredibly so, yes, yes, and YES, I was. What happens if I DO get Phoebe and then I blow it all up bigtime? There's no telling what my brain will say at any given chance so maybe, subconsciously, I was ruining my own dates so I couldn't ruin them in the future.

As if that made any sense to anyone but me.

"You know," Helga said pulling me from my thoughts, "I used to be the same way. Before Arnold and I got together, that is," she explained before ultimately finishing her food and pushing her tray aside so she could lean on the table more fully.

"How? The bullying thing?" I asked and she nodded her head while taking a sip of her chocolate milk carton; emptying it in one full gulp.

"Yes the bullying thing, criminy, you were THERE for it all," she exclaimed while shaking her head with a smile. "I was so young and so naïve—so afraid to feel my feelings that I felt them too strongly and pushed everyone I cared about away; even Phoebe a few times.," she admitted and sighed. "I guess if you're afraid to feel love and accept it, you have a way of pushing it far away until it eats you up and destroys your relationship. I was just lucky I had Arnold who is LITERALLY understanding of EVERYTHING known to man."

"Yeah, you kinda lucked out there, Pataki," I agreed, Helga reaching for her book once more and flipping through the pages absentmindedly.

"Not saying it wasn't hard to get to him, it was, and it will be for you too." I furrowed my brow at his and she sighed before explaining further, "You'll have to get over yourself long enough to say, 'Here I am, take me or leave me' and it's a scary thought and all, but you have to do it."

"I do?"

"You do, Johanssen. Otherwise, you'll spend the rest of your life wishing you did."

She had a point. But what was I going to do to break down all those walls?I had to ask Helga, she was the romantic out of everyone I knew and the only chance I had left at fixing all my mistakes.

"So what do I do?" I asked earnestly, my pulse racing at the thought of talking about my love life with Helga G. Pataki.

"Well," she started thoughtfully, "for starters, you could put yourself out there. Like REALLY put yourself out there and apologize for how weird you've been acting."

"Apologize? Really? THAT'S your grand advice?"

"I didn't say it'd be life-changing, I just say it'll be harder to do than you think." She set her book down and twisted to look at me straight on, her blue eyes meeting mine and holding them as she talked. "Imagine it, just for a second. Imagine telling her everything you feel and just putting it out on the line—a confession if you will."

I shook my head, "I could never do that."

"Well you'll have to figure out how, buddy, cause time WILL run out if you don't try to fix it. That's just my two cents, but if I were you, I'd act now."

Rolling my eyes in more fear than sarcasm, I said, "And say what?"

"Apologize, doi! Apologize and admit you messed up. Admit you faked the date to try to impress her, admit you forced your family to be something they're not for her, and admit that you care for her and want a chance to show that to her. What IS it you're so scared of?"

That was the question, what could it be that had me so scared of admitting defeat and just putting all my cards out on the table for Phoebe to see? Was it that scared of love thing or just scared in general? I'd never been one to back down from fear. Even years ago in the jungle I wasn't afraid so what was it about a crush that made me buckle at my knees and want to throw everything out the window?

I wasn't sure, but I knew one thing. If it was ANYTHING Helga had taught me, it was that I had to get my feelings out and I had to get them OUT there. The problem was just when and how could I achieve such a big apology? Especially in THIS school?

I watched as Phoebe got her books from her locker in prep for her last class of the day, my eyes locked on her as I tried to encourage myself enough to get the nerve to go up and talk to her the way Helga said I should.

"Whattya doing?" A voice rang out from behind me and I sighed before turning around to face the perfectly made-up Rhonda Wellington Lloyd standing now in front of me.

"What do you want, Rhonda," I deadpanned, my eyes narrowing in on her as she shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I was just in the neighborhood, " she stated, "when I noticed a big fish staring at another fish from a different pond."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't have time for you and your stupid clique rules, Rhonda, I have to go," I tried to push away from her but she blocked me in every direction somehow so I stayed put and stared blankly at her as she began her rant. "WHAT is it you WANT," I demanded her eyes widening as she was taken aback by my sudden outburst.

"A date. A solid date between you and me to finish this tension we have going on once and for all."

"There IS no tension, Rhonda, are you blind?"

"I think it's you that's blind, Gerald. Open your eyes. The hottest girl in school is asking YOU out. You should be thrilled." She said with a ferocious smile and I ignored her efforts.

"Yeah, but I'm not, and honestly," I said, slightly agitated, "I'm more just annoyed you won't leave me alone."

This rightfully pissed her off and she dropped her arms to her sides.

"Fine, Gerald, but remember this, I can RUIN you, you hear me?" she said with a point into my chest and a hard one at that.

"And how do you plan on managing that, huh?" I asked, fury laced in my words at her lame threat that had no power here.

"Your perfect Johanssen name will be tainted if you swim that far out of your pond, Gerald," she said, speaking in metaphors I couldn't care less about. "I know about you and Phoebe and the whole school can know too if you aren't careful."

I laughed in her face and shook my head, "And HOW is this a threat? Don't you think I'd LIKE for the whole school to think and know I was with Phoebe?" I tried to pass her again without such luck and then said, "Newsflash: that's kind of all I've been trying to do for weeks now."

"Trust me, I'm aware. I know EVERYTHING that goes on in these halls," she threatened and I smirked.

"Sure, Rhonda. Then tell me, WHO is it I'm interested in again?"

"Phoebe Heyerdahl," she instantly replied and I raised a brow. "Good… now, WHO is it I DON'T like no matter HOW many times she asks me out?"

Her face dropped and she immediately sighed and pointed a lone manicured nail in my direction. "I'm telling you, Gerald, swim too close and I'll bite."

"Do your worst, Lloyd," I egged her on before at last passing her and making my way towards Phoebe's locker where she was preparing for her final class still.

I was just glad Rhonda didn't hold me up TOO long.

"Pheebs" I called out to get her attention and she looked up to see me coming—and she smiled.

She SMILED.

"Hello Gerald, good to see you again, but I'm afraid I am running late to my next class so I'll have to be—"

"Just give me a minute, okay?" I huffed out after running to get to her locker in hopes she'd stop and wait for me, which she had.

Okay, Gerald, this is your big moment, I told myself, my palms sweating and my knees weak. Just let it out, let it all out.

"Yes Gerald?" Phoebe pushed and I realized I'd been standing silent for nearly a minute now.

"Sorry, it's just, well, Pheebs," I began before letting out a pent up breath and finally saying, "I owe you an apology, and a pretty big one at that."

Her eyebrows scrunched together and she looked at me curiously. "Apologize for what?"

Here we go…

"For not being Gerald—for not being the real me. I faked my knowledge about foreign films; I really just stayed up all night reading the summaries online and I forced my family to be somebody they're not all in hopes of impressing you." I took a deep breath as Phoebe watched me intently before continuing on.

"It's just that-that I'm not SMART like you. I'm good at sports and music and that's about it. We're two fish from different ponds," I said, stealing Rhonda's absurd line and making it something better entirely. "But just because we are doesn't mean we can't swim…together."

Phoebe watched me for a moment as the warning bell went off and she completely ignored it—a rare occasion for Phoebe Heyerdahl. What I said must had worked or she'd have taken off completely by now, right?

"I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say, Gerald," she replied instead and I huffed before trying again—one last time –to let the walls down completely and be the person Arnold and Helga keep telling me I should be; me.

"Look, I like you Pheebs. I like you a lot and I don't want some class hierarchy to ruin something I think could be great—and that's us. Who says Arnold and Helga are the only ones who get to be happy like that?" I questioned her and she shut her locker softly.

"I don't know, Gerald," she said but something inside me told me she DID know and I wanted to get it out of her.

"Just know that those things; the cliques and 'way things work around here'—those things don't matter to me, alright? Those things mean absolutely nothing to me. The only thing that means anything to me, is you and that you're happy and that's something I really think I could do; if you'd let me that is."

She stared at me, her eyes wide though she had no response. The hallways were beginning to empty and it was only a matter of time before Phoebe took off leaving me without an answer.

But she wasn't giving one now, so I figured, whatever—I tried, and shoved my hands into my pockets while shrugging. "I just had to get that out there. So YOU know." I said and with that, I turned around and walked down the hallway alone, just waiting for Phoebe to holler me down and stop me from skipping class to go cry some manly man tears in my car.

So this chapter is the next to the last and i really hope you're enjoying this story. please leave a review, i'm dying to know what you're all thinking of this fic and how you think it's going to wrap up!

-Polka