Disclaimer: All of it belongs to the lovely and brilliant SM!

POV: Edward, Esme, Bella, Rosalie, Alice

Chapter 10: Breakdowns and Breakthroughs

"Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of York."
-From Richard III by William Shakespeare

EPOV

"Has anyone tried talking to her, yet?" Alice questioned, fisting a handful of Jasper's hair in her hands, absently twirling the curls between her fingers.

"She doesn't want to talk – at least not yet…" I explained.

"Yesterday was a difficult day for her, Alice, its normal that she would need some time to recuperate after that." Carlisle offered, while flipping through the pages of a large Medical Text.

"I just… I don't know. I feel like she needs us, or she needs someone to pull it all out of her."

"Alice, she'll do it in her own time, and forcing her is the last thing that would be helpful." My voice was low, concentrated. I was trying desperately not to show just how affected I was by Bella's suffering, and her silence.

"You've not yet seen anything surrounding Bella, have you, Alice?" Carlisle's voice was not chastising, nor did it detect even a hint of impatience. His question was genuine, and we all knew how frustrated Alice was when trying to see anything significant surrounding Bella's future; for some reason, it was extremely hazy. Alice's nose scrunched slightly at the question, and her eyes narrowed.

"No. Not yet. But it's not because I'm not trying, because I am! I can see small things, here and there, but nothing that makes any sense."

"Carlisle, any idea as to why that might be?" Jasper questioned, curious. There was something extraordinary about Bella – my gift was rendered useless on her, and Alice's gift seemed to be less then effective.

"Well, I've been looking into it. But it doesn't appear to make any sense. I believe that Edward can't read Bella's mind because she's wired differently – almost as though there is a glitch in her brain. I'm not sure if that translates to the reasons why Alice's visions of Bella are still hazy, because if that were the case, Alice wouldn't be able to see even a small snippet of Bella's future, and yet, she can. And Jasper's gift appears to work on Bella, as well. Very effectively, at that."

"Do you think it could be because Bella's future is still so uncertain? Alice could detect Bella's future before we rescued her…"

"That is surely a possibility, and I'm leaning in that direction. But again, I'm still not certain." Carlisle explained, his voice light and airy, an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Ooooh!" Alice shrieked, bouncing up and down happily on the balls of her feet. "It looks like we're having dinner tonight and it looks like Bella will be joining us!" she exclaimed happily, flashing a toothy grin in my direction.

"I thought you were having difficulty seeing Bella's future, Alice." I wondered out loud.

"I am. This isn't just Bella's future; it affects all of us, which is probably why I could see it."

"That might not be such a bad idea. I think it's an appropriate time to start Bella on solid food anyway, and Esme would love the opportunity to cook something for once." Carlisle mused happily, closing the Medical Text in front of him before opening another one. Another great thing about being a vampire: multitasking was incredibly easy.

"Carlisle…" I shot him a warning look "I think we should have a family meeting before dinner with Bella." Carlisle simply nodded.

"Alice, what time are you expecting dinner to be ready?"

"Dinner will be ready at 6:34! And the family meeting will happen at 4… no 5… no – Carlisle! Stop changing your mind!"

"Family meeting at 4 o'clock, then?"

"Fine."

"Sure! I'll let the others know!" Alice said happily, before skipping out of the room, dragging Jasper behind her.

"Calm down, Edward. Have a bit of faith in your family." Carlisle chided.

"She already has questions about what we are Carlisle. There are some things we all really need to discuss."

EsmePOV

She was such a sweet child, with a story that was absolutely heart-wrenching. Although it was a source of controversy for my family, Bella's presence made me happier then I had felt in a long time. Of course, the circumstances in which she found herself with us were horrendous, but her existence was already having a profound impact on my family.

I could already tell that this child had captured a piece of Alice's heart. Already, Alice considered Bella to be like a sister to her. She knew that she and Bella would one day be the best of friends, and seeing Alice so happy to have someone so special in her life undoubtedly had the same effect on me.

For Rosalie, Bella was a painful, but necessary reminder of her past. Rosalie had lived for decades now as a vampire, but she had still not dealt with the pain of her mortal life; the very reason she was a vampire was something she had always pushed to the back of her mind. It was the thing that made my child bitter; it haunted her, and made her angry, with no outlet for her pain. Finally, as painful as it was, Rosalie was confronted with her past, and hopefully, she would begin the process of healing. I wanted nothing more then to see Rosalie experience reprieve from the anguish of her past.

Carlisle was a caring person by nature. The opportunity to take another person under his wing, and heal her, emotionally and physically was something that always fulfilled my husband. And with Bella, it was different. Because, although I couldn't fully understand the reasons why, Bella was special.

And of course, for Edward, it was already apparent that Bella would be the greatest source of happiness for him. Alice had already witnessed their connection, through her visions, but now the rest of my family could see it too, as we watched and listened to the interactions they shared. To Edward, Bella meant more then any of us could even begin to understand. And I strongly believed that Bella's shared the same feelings, although for her they were more difficult to understand given everything she was going through.

Alice had informed me of the family dinner that had been planned for tonight. I was delighted to finally get some use out of the elaborate kitchen we had in our home. It was a rarity for me to cook anything, so tonight I planned on cooking as much as I possibly could. I had the feeling that I would be utilising our kitchen more and more with Bella around, and the idea excited me.

Carlisle had finally stabilized Bella so that she was able to function properly and safely without any machines attached to her, much to Bella's delight. She hadn't been able to walk very much in the past little while, so Carlisle left it up to Alice and me to show her to a shower, and to help her familiarize herself with walking around.

I rapped lightly on the door, waiting for a response.

"Come in" Bella's soft voice sounded through the door.

"Hello Bella, dear"

"Hi Esme" Bella grinned. Alice skipped happily to Bella's bedside, smiling all the while.

BPOV

I let the water cascade down my body, the heat penetrating my skin – it was refreshing. I watched as the steam began to rise, and flow over the enclosure of the shower. I never wanted to leave – it was the only time I could ever feel clean again.

I could still feel his cold body resting on top of mine, his arms wrapping around my slender waste, pulling me closer to him. His hands gripping around my arms, leaving painful bruises behind, his mouth as it trailed kisses along my collarbone, stopping along the way to gently pull at the skin with his razor sharp teeth.

I traced my fingers along my collarbone, feeling the indentations his teeth had left behind, the scars that were beginning to form. I allowed my hands to run down my sides, feeling the grooves of my rib cage as my hands travelled lower and lower, before stopping on the crescent shape scar located on my upper thigh.

He never once bit me, only grazed his teeth across my skin, and that alone had been enough to cause me to bleed, leaving unsightly scars behind. I remember how concerned Carlisle had been about the cuts when he first saw them – he wanted to know very specific details about whether or not I had actually felt his teeth sink into me, or whether or not his teeth merely slid over my skin.

This shower, while refreshing, was also a painfully intimate reconnection with my body I wasn't sure I was entirely ready to experience. I had spent the past while trying to separate myself from my body, because that way, my body would be what was hurt, and not my heart and soul.

But here, under the pressure of the warm shower, with my body so exposed before my own eyes, I couldn't deny that this was mine, and that the experience, as well, was mine. All of it belonged to me, had happened to me. And no amount of wishing would ever erase that.

So I scrubbed. And I scrubbed. And I kept scrubbing, ruthlessly, without caution, until my skin was red, raw and swollen.

And still, I just didn't feel clean. I felt like I couldn't get him off of me. I felt like he was still with me, everywhere I went.

I hadn't even noticed when the tears began to fall. But when they did, I couldn't stop them. It was so far beyond my control at that point, and the pain I felt was so real, and so heavy that I just couldn't hold it in any longer.

I sobbed, and I scrubbed as I sat on the floor of the shower, my arms wrapped around my body, hugging me close to myself. And I kept on crying, my chest heaving with the weight of my sobs. I was sure that the Cullen's could hear me, but I didn't care at this point. I needed to cry out my pain, I needed to release my pain through my tears, because I couldn't hold this darkness inside of me anymore. It was choking me, strangling me and sucking the life out of me.

I watched as it swirled down the drain – the blood I had recently released with my incessant scrubbing.

I watched as the impurity that was now me began flowing down the drain. I wished the drain would swallow me up too, drag me away to somewhere where it didn't hurt anymore. I wished I would just dissolve into unrecognizable pieces, simply ceasing to exist.

And I continued to cry, so hard that it hurt.

EPOV

I listened helplessly to the tortured cries of Bella. We could all hear it; Rosalie in the garage, Alice in her bedroom with Jasper, Esme beginning dinner and Carlisle in his study. And I could hear it as my fingers deftly traced the keys of the piano. The sound was so piercing that I could no longer concentrate on my music.

Now, I stood outside the bathroom door, leaning my head against the hard wood, desperately listening to Bella sob.

I knew she needed this release, but it didn't make it any easier. Pain wasn't foreign to me, but this magnitude of pain was. I had never known such a torturous pain in my life, and I was glad. Inside, I desperately wished I could take away Bella's pain, and carry it for her. I couldn't bear to listen to her fighting through such turmoil. It wasn't right that an angel should have to suffer so greatly. I would have gladly taken her burden and carried it for her.

As I heard her cries intensify, I wanted nothing more then to break the door down, walk inside and hold her as she cried. I wanted to rock her gently in my arms, and assure her that it would be okay. I wanted to soothe her, comfort her and take away her pain.

But it wasn't the right thing to do, not now anyway. She needed to feel this alone, she needed this moment to herself to just feel, without any guilt or any inhibitions.

And again, if I had a heart, I was sure it was breaking.

RPOV

It was piercing: the sound of the human girl's cries. It started abruptly, and continued without ceasing. Her cries were so pained, so raw and so real, that I couldn't concentrate. I dropped the wrench I was holding, and leaned against the hood of my car, waiting for it to stop.

I listened as she sobbed and sobbed, with no regard. I listened as she poured out her pain, exposed and real.

In a way that I had never been able to.

And in that moment, I desperately wanted to wrap my arms around her, and console her. Because I knew her pain, and I knew how crippling it could be. I wanted to cry with her, and hold onto her, I wanted to release my pain. I wanted to cry. But I couldn't.

Vampires don't cry.

APOV

I held onto Jasper's hand tightly, rubbing small circles over his back as he tried his hardest to push Bella's pain out of his body. It was intense, and it was too much for him to handle at one time.

I watched as Jasper writhed on our bed, occasionally yelping in pain – his response to Bella's emotional release was overwhelming to watch. I stayed with him, holding onto him, trying to console him as best I could.

I looked over at the clock on my nightstand: 3:56. The family meeting was about to begin, and from what I could tell, it was important that our entire family was present for this meeting.

"Jazz, do you think you can make it down to the living room? We really need to be at this family meeting" I pleaded, gently rubbing the curls of his hair in between my slender fingers.

Jasper nodded.

"I'll be down in a moment, Alice. You go ahead. I need to compose myself first – promise I won't be late." He squeezed my hand before releasing it.

I saw Edward in the hallway before he even knew he would be there. I had a vision of it. Again, I didn't know why he would be there, because everything surrounding Bella was so hazy, but now it made more sense. I slowly walked toward him, watching the pained expression on his face intensify whenever Bella's sobs became louder. I placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning against him.

C'mon, Edward. We should get going; she'll still be here when we're done. This is too important to miss.

Edward looked at me, his eyes locked on mine.

"What if she needs me? What if she calls for me, and I'm not there?" He questioned, his voice strained, but barely above a whisper.

You'll hear her calling, if she does. We aren't going far. And she's going to be a while, I think.

"She sounds hurt – is she hurt, Alice?"

I don't know, Edward, I can't see that much. But I really don't think so. She'll be fine, let's go.

I clasped his hand in mine, and placed my free hand on his back. I could see how much this was hurting him. It was hurting me, too. I couldn't begin to imagine how much this was affecting him.

When we reached the living room, the rest of the family was already sitting, waiting. I examined the faces of my family, and never had I seen so much pain in all of them at once. Bella's impact on my whole family was profound.

In Rosalie, especially, though, I noticed the most significant change. Her eyes appeared softer, more caring and kind, although there was also evidence of heartache as well. Her hand was draped across Emmett's lap, and her fingers tapped against his thigh lovingly. Her eyebrows were knit, and her jaw was clenched. She looked like she was in pain.

"Where is Jasper, Alice?" Carlisle wondered, holding Esme's hand in his.

"He'll be down in a second. This is… hard for him. He can feel everything she's feeling…" I explained with very little detail, knowing my family would understand without much explanation. Jasper's gift was both a curse and a blessing.

"We should begin without him" Carlisle explained, taking a seat with Esme at his side. Edward let go of my hand, and sat in the armchair he normally sat in during family meetings. I sat in the loveseat across from Edward, although it felt empty without Jasper sitting beside me.

"As you all know, Bella has been with us for a while, and although we've had a few discussions surrounding Bella and what she has been through, it's important we have another discussion." Carlisle stopped talking as Jasper made his way down the stairs slowly, for a vampire, and took his rightful seat next to me.

"My apologies. You may continue." He said, distress clear in his voice, although he tried to hide it.

"Bella has made a fantastic recovery, and she is now no longer confined to a bed, or hooked up to machines. This means she can now roam around our house, and exist alongside our family. She will be joining us for dinner, and spending a lot of time with us. This means that there are a few issues to address."

"We're listening…"

"Firstly – the issue of where Bella will live. We've discussed this before, but now we've reached the point where we have to make a decision. Will Bella remain with us, and live with us, if she so chooses?"

BPOV

As I cried, I thought of everything I had lost in the past few days, months… years. Everything I had struggled to push away from me was now finding its way back into my life.

My mother – my beautiful and adoring mother. My creator, my confidant, my best friend. I missed her so much. And my father, Charlie. In his own special way, he and I were so alike. Charlie was responsible for the parts of me that were tucked away, saved for someone special. The parts of me that were private, that I wouldn't share with just anyone. The parts of my mind that I locked away, waiting for the right moment, and the right person to allow in.

But no matter how much I missed them, the pain of their loss didn't compare to the pain of losing myself, and everything that was mine. I had been robbed of everything that was good and pure about me.

I didn't want to know myself anymore, because knowing myself meant embracing all of the parts of me – every part of my past, no matter how painful. And I wasn't sure that I could accept everything about me.

Dirty. I felt dirty again. So as I sobbed harder and harder, I scrubbed, wanting nothing more then to wake up and find myself in another body – one not so tainted by her experiences.

APOV

"Well, let's start with you, Alice, shall we?" Carlisle smiled in my direction, tipping his head slightly.

"I want her to stay. She needs us. We can protect her. And she deserves to be protected." I said, holding Jasper closer to my body, trying as hard as I possibly could to project as much love onto him as possible, to give him some relief from the pain.

"I'd like her to stay, too. She's a special child." Esme stated, smiling at me.

"Jasper?"

"Yes. She should stay"

"And Edward?"

"It's dangerous for her to be here. We can't ensure perfect control all of the time. And with a human living just upstairs, sleeping, helpless and defenceless against a family of vampires… I'm not sure that's the safest option…"

"Edward, she has no one else!" I shrieked, growing frustrated. Before I could say anything else, I was distracted by a vision. I smiled to myself, the most unlikely answer was about to come from Rosalie.

"Alice is right, Edward. Her parents are gone, and she has no extended family. Richard will probably be after her, and nobody else can keep him from her but us. For now, I think this is the best option."

"For now…" Edward said in a severe tone. For now, that was a good enough answer, and it translated into a resounding 'yes!' for me. Suddenly, all eyes were on Rosalie, as we waited for her answer.

"Yes." She said softly, still looking down. "Nobody deserves to endure what she has, and now, she needs us to keep that from ever happening again." Rosalie said simply, her voice void of all emotion. I wasn't shocked at her response, mere seconds before I had known what she would say.

"It's decided, then. For now, Bella stays."

"What about our secret, Carlisle?" Jasper asked.

"For now, I believe we shouldn't tell Bella. There will likely be a time when she either discovers for herself, or when we need to tell her. But for now, let's just give her the safety and comfort she deserves, without frightening her too much."

EPOV

I resumed my position outside the doorway of the bathroom, waiting for Bella – listening to her heartbeat, and listening to her expression of her pain. Still, loud, heart-wrenching sobs were flowing through her, her tears competing with the water from the shower.

I so desperately wanted to run to her side, and take her into my arms, soothing her, helping her through the pain she was feeling. If I could have, I knew I would have taken that pain away from her; I would have harboured it for a lifetime if she could only feel relief from it for even a moment.

Bella would stay. I wasn't yet sure how I felt about it. There were two competing sides to my thoughts surrounding her stay. I knew that being in a house full of vampires was a far cry from safe, but I also knew that we couldn't abandon Bella now; we couldn't just leave her after everything she had been through. She was too fragile, too small, and too human.

I heard small feet patter up the stairs, and I recognized it to be Alice. In a second, she was at my side, her hand on my back – a sisterly gesture.

"Are you ready, Edward?"

"Ready for what?" I questioned in a low voice.

"You'll see." She said, before skipping away from me. I tried to locate her thoughts, but she was replaying the lyrics of a horrid Britney Spears song, so I immediately withdrew myself from her mind.

And that's when I heard the faintest whisper of my name fall from the lips of my angel: Bella.

BPOV

Before I could even utter his name again, I heard the shower door open, and I felt someone wrapping a towel around my body gently.

"Its okay, Bella. It's okay" Edward assured me, pulling me into him. I couldn't speak – I offered him no response. I couldn't stop the tears long enough to formulate anything that made sense. But he didn't seem to care. Slowly, he pulled my body into a sitting position on his lap, cuddling me to his chest, rocking back and forth slowly.

I would have thought such a close interaction with someone of the male gender would be troubling for me since what had happened, but when I was in Edward's arms, nothing was troubling. All that mattered was that I was safe, and for the first time in a long time, I felt loved. And that was more then I could have ever asked for.

I felt a cold hand trace the length of my arm, and I looked down to see Edward lightly tracing my red and raw arms, tenderly, with an understanding I wasn't sure I deserved.

We sat that way for a long time. And eventually the tears stopped coming. I wasn't even sure exactly how long it was before Edward broken the silence with the sound of his musical voice.

"Do you think you'll be up for dinner, Bella?" The sound of his voice sent shivers down my spine.

"Yeah. I think I'll be fine. Plus, I know Esme is really looking forward to this." I explained, slowly lifting myself off of Edward.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked, his body mere inches from my own.

What he didn't realize was that he had already done more then I could ever explain. And it was in that moment that I realized I was falling in love with Edward Cullen.

************************************************************************

"It smells delicious." I stated as Alice tucked a stray curl behind my ear. She had insisted upon dressing me for dinner. Although I wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea, I didn't have the energy to argue.

"Yeah, Esme loves cooking! Stop fidgeting, Bella. You're only going to make the process longer if you keep that up." Alice warned, brushing my cheeks with a light powder.

I surveyed Alice as she danced around me, quickly applying makeup and fixing my clothes. There was something about her that wasn't… normal. She had skin, so pale it looked as though it could be translucent. And she moved so gracefully, you would swear every movement she made was some kind of elegant dance step. And her eyes – the most striking gold colour that she shared with her entire family.

The Cullen's were all adopted, but how could it be that they all shared such odd features? Skin colour, texture and temperature, the same striking gold eyes and they all moved with the same elegance.

"Alice, can I ask you something." Suddenly, Alice stopped dead in her tracks, looking off into the distance with a blank stare. Her eyes snapped open, and she continued her work on me.

"Sure, Bella."

"What aren't you all telling me?" I questioned, my voice wavering despite my best efforts.

"I don't know what you mean…" Alice stated, but before I could clarify, Alice was speaking again.

"Oh Bella, look at your arms." Alice took my injured arms in her hands, and rand a cold hand over the cuts. I bowed my head in shame, not wishing to explain how I acquired my newest injury.

"Don't worry! You don't need to explain. And I have the perfect shirt you can wear to cover those right up – if you want, of course." I nodded.

"Thanks Alice"

"No worries. Oooh, dinner is just about ready. You ready to go?" I smiled as Alice took my hand, and led me downstairs.

My breath caught in my throat when I walked into the dining room to see the entire Cullen family sitting at the table, in casual conversation. It was my first time seeing all of them at once since I had arrived, and seeing them all together like this only further confirmed my suspicions.

They were the most beautiful people I had ever laid eyes on. Absolutely gorgeous.

As I took my seat at the table, I noticed Edward's eyes following me. I smiled at him, still embarrassed that he had witnessed me crumble like that. My heart picked up when I was around him, and my mind fluttered wildly.

Yup. Definitely falling in love with Edward. And right now, that emotion was the most confusing of all. How could I be falling in love when my world had just fallen apart?

"Esme, this all looks wonderful." She beamed at my words.

"Thank you, dear! I hope you all enjoy it."

"Not too much, though, Bella. We don't want to upset your stomach after being so long without solid food. Esme purposely chose a light dish, so you should be fine." Carlisle smiled as he grasped Esme's tiny hand in his own, and glanced at her affectionately.

"But before we eat, there is something I want to clear up." I began "Something I don't want to tiptoe around anymore. I've been here long enough to know that you're not a normal family. And I want the truth – and I want it now."

A/N: I like this chapter. It took me a while to write it, and I went through it a couple of times for editing purposes. It's my longest chapter yet (I believe), and I'd really like to know what you lovely reviewers think of it!!!

I know it seems very sad and angsty right now, but I assure you, the mood will lighten and good things are to come!!!

Huge high-fives to these awesome reviewers:
-jeanne
-liv6999

IMPORTANT!!!!

Also, I will be posting a poll with the following question on my profile:
Do you think Bella should discover the Cullens' secret next chapter, or should she find out later.

Leave a review or answer the poll question to cast your vote! Until I recieve 15 votes, I won't be posting the next chapter!

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