Chapter 10

When Ally awoke, the first thing she noticed was the rawness of her throat. The second was her brother, watching her. She flushed, and sat up.

"What're you doing here? Where's Lydia?"

He shrugged. "She and Lily had to be someplace. She's, uh, forcing us to work things out."

"Oh. Right." Awkwardness settled over her like a blanket. "That's...so very Lydia."

"I know. It, um, hasn't been easy for her. In the middle." Mitch shrugged uneasily. He'd always hated awkwardness, but it was because they both felt awkward that he was determined to sort things out. It wasn't right, being like this around his sister, and he wouldn't stand for it anymore.

"I know." Then she looked up at him, annoyance and hurt in her eyes. "I was waiting for you to apologise."

"You wouldn't stay in a room with me for a full minute, Ally, how was I supposed to?"

She hesitated at that, then shook her head. "You could have found a way. We've done this before, fallen out, stopped talking, avoided each other, and I've always managed to apologise to you. Even when it wasn't my fault."

"I know." He sighed it. If he was honest, he'd expected it to go that way this time, too.

"It was your fault this time." She said, almost as if she knew what he was thinking.

"I know." He hated apologising. Really hated it. But he'd missed her – not that he'd ever say that aloud – and he knew what he had to do. "I'm sorry, Ally. I really am. You have to understand that I was trying to protect you – I knew about, before, Archie's..."

"I know. He, um, told me. He said you forced him to confess..."

"Yeah, and then you stayed with him and I was so mad at you for it, and so worried about you, and I guess I lost it a little. I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." But that was a lie, and he knew as soon as he said it. "Maybe I did." He murmured. "Maybe I thought that was the only way...I don't know what I thought, Ally."

She'd listened in silence, and now she toyed with her hair. All she'd wanted was an apology, and now she had it. It just didn't feel like enough.

"Why, though?" She said softly. "Why have we spent years doing this little routine? Bickering, arguing, falling out and not speaking, making up...We never really got on."

"Sometimes we did."

"Not often. Not for very long."

"I resented you." He blurted it, then covered his mouth with his hand, his eyes wide with shock. It was almost comical. "I'm sorry, I didn't – jeez, I don't know where that came from. I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did." She shifted, looked at him curiously. Not hurt, he noted, but curious. "Why did you resent me, Mitch?"

"Not just you. Lydie, too." He said awkwardly. He felt, suddenly, like a little boy being reprimanded. "I mean – that sounded awful. It wasn't a – a constant thing or anything. Just every now and then...and it's stupid, really stupid, you didn't deserve it -"

"Mitch. C'mon. Let's talk this out."

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, shifted in his seat. And looked, Ally thought with mild amusement, like a little boy in trouble.

"OK. OK. You're not allowed to hate me for this." He told her, in the same tone he'd used when they were younger. You're not allowed to come with me. You're not allowed to play. You're not allowed to tell anyone that. You're not allowed in my room. You're not allowed to touch my things. That familiarity of it made her smile."You asked. You, ah, remember when Lydia was born?"

"Not really." She said, tilting her head. "I was, what, three? I sort of remember her being there one day, and everyone being happy and stuff."

"Dad was home. He took time off, so he was there. A full year, starting a month or so before the birth."

"He did that with me and you, too. I remember mum telling me. I think I remember, that year, him being at home."

"I was four." He said. "Almost five, when Lydia was born. I remember him coming home. I guess you remember, after that, the way he'd be away a lot. Most of the week?"

"Yeah. Come home for weekends, sometimes for a few hours at night." Sometimes, she'd wished for a dad that was around all the time, Ally remembered, but she'd always known Neville was doing his best.

"He'd miss some weekends, too." Mitch murmured. "Anyway, I remember how great I thought it was, having him home, all the time, every day. I guess I was little enough to forget about before, forget that he had a job. Then, he went back."

"You were six. I was almost five." She remembered it, too. The anger and upset, her father's quiet explanations, his promises of being home soon, really soon, her mother's soothing words and hugs. "It was hard. I remember how much we wanted him to stay."

"Kids." He shrugged a shoulder. "Didn't really understand why he had to leave. I, um, I got kind of upset. Well, I had a tantrum, really."

"You were good at those." She smirked.

"Yeah." He half laughed. "Well, Dad took me aside. Told me how he had to go back to work, but he'd be home soon. All the usual. I, um, I started saying how maybe I could go with him. Stupid, I know, but I was barely six. I figured, you know, I'd stay at Hogwarts with him, come home with him, it'd be cool. Well, obviously that was pretty much impossible. He talked me out of it, then, ah, he said how I had to stay home. That I had to look after you and Lydia, that it was my job."

"Oh." She was starting to understand.

"I guess I started thinking if not for you and Lyd, I'd've been able to go with him. And, well. I was a brat. Maybe you remember. Sometimes I was so awful to you – I'd usually feel bad about it afterwards, but I couldn't help myself."

"You were a little boy." She murmured. "And you thought you were losing your dad. There...there was always the fear that he wouldn't come back."

Mitch nodded. "Wasn't his fault. Now I know that if I'd ever talked to him about it...but I didn't. And I took it out on you. Even when we were older, and I knew it was stupid...I couldn't help it. I'm sorry, Ally."

"Sometimes...I'd deliberately annoy you." She said quietly. "It used to drive me crazy, how inconsistent you were. So sometimes, I'd wind you up, I'd say things or do things. I figured at least then I'd know why you were so mad at me."

He smirked, shaking his head. "And you let everyone believe you were nice. Devious, Ally Longbottom. That's what you are."

"I know." Delighted, she grinned at him. The awkwardness was gone – and wasn't it easy, after all, so easy to fix things? "But you love me anyway."

"I do." His smile faded into seriousness. "You need to know that, 'kay? I know I was a brat, and I resented you, and we, well, we didn't always get along, but I always...It's just not something a guy says to his sister."

She smiled wider at his discomfort. "I know. And, back at you. It's OK. I understand. One question, though. You resented me, and Lydie, right? How come you didn't argue with her? Or not so often."

"Huh. Ever try to argue with her? The kid's impossible. And she doesn't hold grudges, neither, so even if I did make her mad enough to argue with me, she'd forgive and forget instantly. Besides, she...well, she's so much younger than me, and..."

"So young. She always seems so young." Ally murmured.

"Exactly." He shifted again.

"I missed you." She said it quietly, avoiding his gaze. "I didn't think I would. But I hated it, and hated not knowing if we'd ever get back to normal."

"I'm sorry." He said again. He'd probably said it, she mused, more times in this conversation than he ever had in his life.

"You need to stop apologising now." She told him, smirking. "I want the old Mitch back." He grinned at her, then sobered again.

"Ally...the stuff I said, at the party, I didn't mean it."

"It was true. It was all true."

"No. Not really. And I had no right to say it like that, to throw it at you. I'm sor -"

"It's over, it's done." She interrupted, because it didn't matter anymore. She'd forgiven him, she even understood him better. "Please. I want to forget it now."

"OK. So, how's my nephew or neice doing?"

--------------------

"You're not coming in with me." James glared at his sister and Lydia. They were outside his house. "I'm not having an audience."

"'Course you are." Lily said brightly. "We get to see how this ends."

"'Sides, Mitch is in there, still." Lydia said, then narrowed her eyes at the house. "At least, he better be."

With a sigh, James started towards the house. He opened the door, and was met with noise.

"You can't have it now, Ally, you can't." Mitch's voice was high, panicked, and he was stood by the sofa, dancing about.

"Well tough 'cause I am!" Ally snapped back. "Do something useful, will you?"

"What the hell's going on?" James pitched his voice above theirs, and surprised them both into silence.

"Ally reckons she's in labour." Mitch said, his voice desperate. "But she can't be. Tell her she can't be."

"Mitch, honey, why don't you sit down." Lydia kept all amusement from her voice as she crossed to her brother and pushed him into a chair. "You just breathe a little, OK?" She grinned at Lily before looking at Ally, who was looking at James, who was stood, frozen.

"Now?" He croaked. Ally nodded.

"Now. I can't do this." She looked at him, at Lydia, at Lily. "How am I supposed to do this?"

"Hey, darling." James was by her side in seconds, crouched beside her and clutching her hand. "You can do this. You're one of the strongest people I know. And I know lots of people. C'mon, darling, breathe for me."

"Well, the kid's got lousy timing." Lily commented, keeping her voice calm to hide her own panic.

"Rose." Ally said, looking desperately at Lily. "I, I promised I'd – she said she wanted to be here -"

"I'm on it. Relax." Lily squeezed her shoulder before leaving the room.

"Ally, I'm sorry I left." James murmured. "I'm sorry if it hurt you. I'll explain it all later, once -"

"James. Not the time." Lydia muttered, sitting on the arm of Ally's sofa and stroking her hair.

"Don't leave." Ally's hand clutched James like a vice. There was fear and pain on her face, her eyes wide with it as they met his. "Don't leave me."

"I won't. I promise."