Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters.

The Heart of a Queen

By Sevick

And I promise you that we will always be together…

CHAPTER TEN:

"Kenshin?"

Kaoru looked up at him, puzzled by the anger written across his face. Without saying a word, Kenshin opened the door to her bedroom and pulled her inside.

"What are you-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, shielding his eyes with his bangs. Kaoru watched him, very puzzled.

"About the engagement? Well, I didn't know about it until about the same time you did," she explained. "I thought you didn't care?"

"I do," he answered curtly, lifting his gaze. His eyes had faded, yet again, to a very pale violet, nearly translucent. It was disorienting, and Kaoru stood still, unsure what to do.

"What?"

Kenshin almost glared at her.

"I care. Of course I care. Are you that dense?"

Kaoru glared right back, and then laughed. There was nothing happy about it, as she returned to glaring and smiling at the same time.

"Dense? You think I'm dense for not thinking you care? When this whole time you've been telling me there's no relationship possible, that it's a mistake, and you keep walking away? Oh, I'm sorry; I never realized that was 'caring.'" Kaoru pushed her hands into her hips, and swore to herself she wouldn't cry. Not again.

"You don't know anything about me – that's why we can't be together. It doesn't mean I don't care," Kenshin said, speaking very much out of character.

"Then tell me about you!" Kaoru stepped closer, feeling tiny pricks of hope that she knew would be her downfall. "Let me know you."

"I can't."

"Why not!?" Kaoru was right in front of him now, able to reach out and grab the sleeves of his shirt. "Why do you play these cruel games with me?"

"Are you going to marry him?" Kenshin's voice was eerily calm, his eyes anything but.

"What? Marry Soujirou?" Kaoru dropped his sleeves. "I don't want to… but Gohei made it sound like I couldn't get out of it."

"Why don't you want to marry him?"

He isn't you… Kaoru swallowed the thought and lifted her eyes to the ceiling.

"I don't love him," she said, very quietly.

"Why not?" Kenshin asked, his words slow and cautious.

He isn't you…

"I just don't," Kaoru said, letting her gaze drop from the ceiling to the floor.

Kenshin stepped closer, so that his heat moved through her like a warm drink, settling into her stomach. Kaoru refused to look at him, studying the intricate designs of the carpet. She couldn't look at him, couldn't see him and think straight. All she could think of was him.

"Why don't you love him?" Kenshin repeated, breaking apart her thoughts.

She looked him right in the eyes, in those oddly beautiful eyes…

"He isn't you," she whispered.

Before she could take a breath, he was surrounding her. His muscled arms crushed her to him, his lips pressed so tightly against hers she could feel the curve of his teeth. This wasn't like the kiss before, guided entirely by her inexperience – it was led by Kenshin, who apparently knew very well what he was doing.

Her mouth opened almost automatically, just slightly, but it was enough for Kenshin to follow her initiative as he opened his own. Then all Kaoru could feel was the sudden moisture as her bottom lip slipped between his, and his tongue ran across it. A strangled sound from deep inside her was released, and Kenshin's arms tightened around her. She melted into his embrace.

And just as quickly it was over.

Kenshin pulled away, leaving her stumbling to regain her balance. Without a word, he left the room.

Kaoru stood in the middle of the room, alone, the moisture left on her lips cooling quickly.

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With a smile still on her lips, Kaoru woke up the next morning and faced the sunlight streaming in through her bedroom window. Her entire body tingled with lingering dreams.

As she bathed, she closed her eyes and leaned against the edge of the tub. The heat of the bath stirred her already warmed blood. No matter how she diverted her thoughts, she couldn't keep the blush from her cheeks.

It was just a kiss. He had said he cared… but he didn't say in what way. So really, it was nothing.

But, Kaoru thought as she slipped her head beneath the water, to her, it was something. He hadn't walked away from her yet. She could only hope that he wouldn't.

After she finished her bath, she dressed herself in a pale pink gown and slipped out into the hall.

That was when she saw Shishio, moving through the foyer, leading a pack of guards through their rounds. Oh… Soujirou. The engagement. For a few blissful hours, it had all slipped her mind. Now it all came flooding back.

She would have to break it off. She didn't love Soujirou… she loved Kenshin. There, she could admit it. Love - love was the warmth coursing through her, love was the constant smile on her face, love was the tickling feeling nipping at her fingertips.

Whatever law Gohei had at his disposal, she would waive it. Perhaps she could find a way to marry Kenshin. His heritage be damned – love was love!

She found herself standing in front of Gohei's room before she even knew she had moved. Taking a deep breath, she pounded on the door.

Gohei opened the door, grumbling to himself until he saw Kaoru standing there.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," he said as Kaoru pushed into the room. "How can I help you?"

"You can start by breaking this engagement," she said, smiling kindly.

"You know I can't do that," Gohei said sternly, turning to face her. "I know you aren't happy about it, but Soujirou will make a fine husband."

"I don't love him, Gohei."

"When did anyone ever marry for love? Soujirou is well-liked by the court and the kingdom; he is kind and strong and intelligent. He will make a fine husband, as I said. You really can do no better."

"I don't love him."

"Oh, and I suppose you love someone else? The Tokugawa man, perhaps?" Gohei said with a laugh. At Kaoru's silence, his face darkened considerably. "For your sake, I will ignore that. Your Majesty, you have no idea what you're doing. How many times must we go over this?"

"Until you change what you're saying," Kaoru said, moving towards the door. "Just, call off the engagement. Now."

"And then what? You'll marry the Tokugawa man, and you'll live happily ever after?" Gohei blocked the door, staring down at her. "Your Majesty, I'm not just saying these things for your moral benefit. This is a much more serious situation than you seem to realize."

"What? The whole kingdom cares who I marry?"

"As a matter of fact, they do. You have no idea how close they are to rioting already. They feel nervous about having the enemy in their castle… imagine how they'd feel about having one as their king?"

"He's not 'the enemy'-"

"To you, he's not, Your Majesty; but to them, he always will be," Gohei said, crossing his arms. "Some say there's been a growing militia to the east, just in response to people's nerves. They're frightened you're going to fall under Tokugawan influence and sell the whole kingdom out to King Hiko." He leaned towards her. "Do you think marrying the Tokugawan would ease their fears? I'm not exaggerating when I'm saying there could be a full out rebellion."

Kaoru stood there, her eyes locked on the floor. The warmth had drained out of her, leaving her standing in a chilled puddle as she thought over Gohei's words.

"You're lying to make me marry Soujirou," she said quietly.

"You can't afford to wait and find out."

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"She's much too forward for a proper queen," Soujirou said as he sat beside his father. "And very young… but she is pretty."

"Of course she's pretty; you never saw her mother, but she was…" Shishio laughed deeply, and then looked to his son. "Have you talked to her since the announcement of your engagement?"

"No… she's quite angry about it, I can tell."

"I know she is… the girl has an inappropriate temper. But announcing it before even discussing with her – it was very ballsy of Gohei. Good for him." Shishio looked right into Soujirou's smiling eyes. "Will you be ready when the time comes?"

"I will be king?"

"If the marriage is consummated and fully acknowledged by the court, there's nothing they can do."

"Even if it's murder?"

Although he didn't stop smiling, Soujirou's eyes did harden as he looked at his father, who sat casually in his chair. A flickering smirk lay on his face.

"The country's torn up enough that an assassination will really surprise no one at this point," Shishio said. "Act bereaved enough, and no one will ask questions. Everyone likes you better anyway."

Soujirou said nothing, looking down at the palms of his hands.

As always, he smiled.

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Kaoru wandered, uncertain, through the halls. The hem of her gown trailed over the carpet. Her mind twisted and turned over Gohei's words, imagining scenes of violent rebellions and her people dying in the streets, in the castle.

Was it worth it?

Kenshin appeared at the end of the hall, smiling at her. Kaoru sighed.

She couldn't help saying… yes.

She walked towards him, the smile Gohei had killed slowly returning. Within a few moments, she found herself standing in front of him, her fingers playing with a seam in her gown.

"Good morning, Kenshin," she said in a soft girl's voice, something she had rarely heard from herself before.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," he said politely.

Taking a quick look around the hallway and finding it empty, Kaoru pulled Kenshin into the nearest room. She didn't release his hand as they stood alone in the room. She giggled and leaned towards him, eyes closing as she pressed her lips forward for a kiss.

He pulled his hand away and gripped her arms, pushing her away.

"Kaoru…"

Feeling the small amount of her remaining calm fall out of her, Kaoru pulled away from his hands and shoved him violently away from her.

"What is wrong with you!?" she shouted, forgetting herself. "First you kiss me, then you pull away, then you say you care about me, and kiss me, and then you pull away again! I can't take it anymore, Kenshin!"

"It's not easy for me," Kenshin said, ignoring Kaoru's scoff. "You are so beautiful, and kind, and every time you get near me and say those things… I lose control. But I'm not worthy of what you want to give me."

"It's about your past, isn't it? Your 'mysterious past' that, if I knew, would make me forget everything I know about you, and somehow make you less 'worthy' of love." Kaoru softened, seeing Kenshin watching her with bated breath, and lifted her fingers to graze his scarred cheek. "I only care about who you are right now… I care nothing for who you've been before."

"You would if you knew."

"We must live in the present, Kenshin," she whispered, looking deep into his eyes. "Leave the past where it belongs… in the past."

"Kaoru…"

She was ready this time, when his lips descended upon hers. Ready for the soft silk of his lips and the moistness of his tongue.

But she was not ready for the warmth of his hands roving over her body, or the way he moved his head and prolonged the kiss beyond the extent of her breath. The slow burn in her lungs suddenly filled her whole body. He pulled away and returned, again and again, as Kaoru clung to the fabric of his shirt across his back.

She felt his entire body press against her as he urged her a few steps backward, towards the bed in the center of the room. She felt the hardness of the male body, even things she had only heard the lewder maids speak of. But she could ask no questions, as his mouth captured hers mercilessly.

When the back of her knees touched the comforter, they halted their movement.

Kaoru's mind raced in those few moments, thinking over everything she'd heard about this moment, about this act… She had heard snippets of gossip from the maids, crude bragging from the guards, and blushing confessions from Misao, but how she put it all together in her head was probably much harsher or much gentler than reality. But what she did know as fact – would she give herself to him? Unmarried, betrothed to another – would she give herself to him?

Yes, she would.

Kaoru leaned backwards over the bed, pulling Kenshin with her. She knew nothing about what came next, but he would. She waited for him to take control.

Instead, he pulled away, breathing heavily. His eyes, as he opened them slowly, were paler than she had ever seen, full of the color and fire of the sun. Kaoru gasped for breath as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"I can't do this," he said breathlessly, pulling fully away from her. As he turned to walk out of the room, Kaoru lunged forward and grabbed his arm.

"Wait, don't go, please," she said, struggling against sudden tears. "I apologize… I was forward, I was-"

"It is not that, Kaoru, not you…" Kenshin said, shielding his eyes from her with his bangs. He let her slide her hand down his arm and into his hand. "Why do you care about me? Why can't you see that you can do so much better?"

"You're the best man I've ever known."

"You don't know very much, then…" He lifted his gaze, and showed her brilliant violet eyes. "I do feel for you, Kaoru, very much – too much."

Kaoru leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to his. The kiss held none of the raging fire of the earlier ones, but the same passion simmered just beneath the surface.

As she pulled away, she smiled.

"What about Soujirou?" Kenshin asked softly.

"It's over with him… I'll make sure of it," she said, still gripping his hand.

"And what then? Your people will never accept me-"

Kaoru pressed her finger to his lips, silencing his words.

"Don't think of that now. When I return from my trip to town tomorrow, I will speak with Soujirou. And I will think of a way for this to work. I promise."

Kenshin ran his fingertips over the side of her neck, sighing and tilting his head to look at her with warm eyes. He looked torn between a smile and running away, but Kaoru held his hand tightly and would not let him go.

"You have given me my first home in ten years, Kaoru," he said as he pressed his palm to her neck and looked at her with infinite tenderness.

"It will be your last home, Kenshin. I will make sure of it."

Kaoru kissed him swiftly, pulling away and blushing as she quickly left the room.

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Author's Notes: Hello everyone! Thank you for the reviews - I'm so glad people like this story. Well, things continue to heat up, and our lovers seem to finally be on the same track - but will it last? And what about Soujirou, Shishio, and Gohei - all plotting against Kaoru! There's definitely trouble brewing...

Next chapter:

She looked at Gohei.

"Begin to plan the wedding," she said quietly, bringing her quivering hands together to hold them tightly against her lap.

The opening line/chapter title is from Celine Dion's "I Love You".