A/N: I had horrible formatting difficulties with this chapter. I hope it comes out alright. Many thanks to Magenta's Nightmare for helping me get this all together.
It happened on August 7th, she would remember this day for years to come. She and Lori had baked all day at the lake and if it hadn't been for sunscreen she would have been burned for sure, even though she had a nice healthy glow for the first time ever.
Her mother loved the pictures Carol had sent to her. Her daughter was glowing and happy. She had them all moved from their old house, to the smaller and less expensive one, and Jane was sure things would be different.
Carol would be different, this time at camp really brought out the best in her. It was hard to let go of both her children. Abe had a new girlfriend, and it was serious and Carol was growing up. What was the expression? A mother gives her children roots to grow and wings to fly.
They both were going to fly one day. Carol had sent pictures of her friends and she and Jane noticed it. In the pictures the boy with the shaggy blonde hair was always next to her daughter and in more than one picture his arm was draped over her shoulder.
The smiles on both their faces was all the proof Jane needed.
It was seven pm when it happened. Carol, Lori and Gareth were coming around the corner outside the main lodge to empty a few garbage cans that Daryl forgot and she saw them.
Kelsey Jamison had Daryl leaned up against the back of the building. Carol came around the corner deep in conversation with Lori and Gareth and stopped short. He was kissing her, not like he kissed Carol, but it didn't matter to her.
He was kissing her.
Just like Garrett was all she could think of. She dropped the garbage can making a huge racket that scared everyone and Kelsey pulled away from him. She just grinned at Carol and Daryl was already trying to get to Carol.
"Carol."
She met him halfway as he tried to get to her to explain. She reared back and slapped him as hard as she could. She hadn't had the chance with Garrett and it felt good, although she knew it shouldn't.
"Carol, wait." Even after she slapped him he was still trying to talk to her. "It's not what you think."
"Don't you fucking talk to me!" She said and kicked him in the shin, he was lucky that was the only place she kicked him and then she was gone running towards the woods.
"Jesus, Dixon, what a hell cat she is" Gareth said as Daryl started to run after Carol. "You're one lucky bastard." Gareth called after him and Lori turned to him.
"Shut up Gareth." And then she approached Kelsey. "Are you happy now, you fucking whore?"
She didn't know where she was going, just the hell away from him. He was just like all the other guys she knew. They all wanted what was right in front of them at the time, screw feelings or loyalty.
One promise, just one simple promise not to trust again and he had gotten through her armor so easily. She felt like a fool.
She could hear him behind her but it was shady now and harder to see, if she didn't slow down she could lose him. She looked up through the canopy of trees to the steadily darkening sky and then around her, everything looked the same. She just kept going.
"Carol! Wait!"
There was no way she was stopping for him. She ran further and faster but she was starting to wonder what the endgame was. What if she got lost out here?
He must have been running too cause she could still hear his footfalls.
"Carol, hold up!"
"Leave me alone!" she screamed.
The last thing she wanted was a bunch of lame apologies and bullshit, they were all the same.
"I'm not leaving you out here alone, Carol!"
She saw a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye and there he was.
"It's not up to you. Just leave me alone."
"You got it wrong, Carol. Let me explain."
"There always some excuse isn't there?"
"What are you talking about?" he asked, still out of breath from chasing her.
"Look, I've already been down this road. I'm done with guys who don't know what they want."
"I do know what I want!"
"Yep, a little from column A and little from column B just like most guys."
"I'm not like that. I don't know what happened to you but that's not me!"
"I didn't even want to do this, this summer, so just forget anything happened."
"Can you forget that easily? Cause I can't. She kissed me, Carol, not the other way around."
"I sure didn't see you pushing her away," she huffed, digging in her pocket before realizing she didn't have a cigarette on her.
He took one out of his pocket and lit it for her. She was too angry and flustered to refuse it.
"This is all pretty new to me. I didn't want to kiss her but for a split second I imagined how I'd feel if someone just pushed me away and I didn't know how to handle it."
"Please," she said, rolling her eyes.
"I don't want to be some guy who makes a girl feel like shit, OK?"
"How sweet?" she answered, dryly.
"I'm telling you the truth, I really like you and I'm not this idiot who let you go."
She took a drag and wanted to kick herself for believing him but she did. She looked deep into his eyes and in that moment she knew everything he said to her was true.
"I'm not perfect and I know I hurt you but I'm not a cheater."
She watched as he turned to leave and it was now or never, she had to say something.
"Wait!"
He looked back at her over his shoulder.
"What?"
"It's actually really nice that you didn't want to hurt her."
"I thought so. I know she's a bitch but she's still a human being, right?" he grinned.
"Come here," she said, softly.
He walked over and she knew this would go further than ever before. The look in his eye was that of absolute fire.
"You care about me?" she asked as he got within a few feet of her.
"It's more than that," he said, moving into her space and taking a hold of her. 'You know it is."
"Can I trust you?" she asked.
"Yes, you can. I'd never hurt you."
The world slowed right down to a crawl and she felt so sure of everything all of a sudden.
She pulled him to her and in an instant her body was burning like it never had before.
He pushed his tongue into her mouth and let his hands roam free. She was too hot to let up.
All he could think about was getting closer to her body and the song Aneurysm by Nirvana.
She started to slide her hands under his shirt and she was kissing him so hard and so fast. His breath increased and soon he was gasping a little for air.
It was dark now and they were so far from the camp that this was very irresponsible. He couldn't care less if he tried though as she grabbed his ass through his jeans.
Fuuuuck me! He thought.
"I want to..." she panted into his neck as she ran her hands under his shirt.
He didn't want to take his mouth away from hers but he had to ask what she meant.
"What do you want?" he asked finally, pulling her shirt up to get to her skin.
When he caught sight of her eyes and he could guess just what she meant.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah," she said, pulling him close.
"Here?"
She answered by working on his belt. The kiss from before had lit a fire in her and thinking he was a cheater had made her so angry she thought he'd never kiss him again. Now that she knew where she stood she wanted him more than ever.
He was a little scared, he kept thinking of the condom in the pocket of his coat. He'd had it there for a while since Merle insisted he be smart but he never thought he would be using it in these circumstances. There was no way his hormones or heart could refuse her although he had no idea how good it would be.
She got his pants undone and was touching him now. Her small, cold hand on him made him hiss and fall weak in his legs.
"Carol..." he whispered.
She pulled him onto a reasonably comfortable looking patch of grass. She sank down and he followed obediently.
It was madness but it felt right. She lay back, looking up at tapestry of stars.
He was pulled onto her and she was still touching him. Daryl swallowed hard, and started to touch her back through her shorts. She moaned and opened her leg, it was so hot his body wanted more and more now.
"Please tell me you have a condom" she said in a pleading voice. There was a desperation in her tone that made him melt.
"Yeah, I got one but...do you think we should?" he asked.
"Don't you want to?"
"Of course but I'm just...kinda nervous."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I've never done this before."
"Oh!" she exclaimed, sounding surprised, "I thought you had."
"I want to but it might not be that great," he admitted.
She smiled at him and realized she was even more excited that it would be both their first times.
"I've never done it either but I'm sure it'll be good," she insisted.
She undid her own shorts and he backed up, looking down at her. She was laying on the grass in the moonlight and he nearly died as she slid her shorts and panties down her legs.
"Jesus...Carol...I..."
He leaned down, kissing her softly. He wanted this so bad but he was terrified.
His hands moved over her breasts through her shirt and then down between her legs. She sighed and panted, trying to pull him closer but he was right there. Somehow it was perfect. She wrapped one of her legs around his and he couldn't take anymore.
"You ready?" she asked.
"God, I don't know, I think so..." he stuttered.
He took a deep breath and fumbled around trying to get his shaking hand into the top pocket of his coat.
"Are you OK?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm just nervous," he stammered.
He bit it open and fidgeted with it trying to figure out which way it went. He tried one way and it wasn't right. He sighed heavily, it was all too much all of a sudden.
"Damn it!" he moaned.
"Shhhh, let me do it."
She took it from him and he looked up at the moon and stars through the trees as she rolled it down over him. Just the feeling of this was making him start to fall apart.
He lay over her and kissed her for another minute trying to 'man up' as Merle would put it.
They fumbled and shifted trying to get things just right, and then he moved into her. He didn't know what to expect, he just hoped like hell she wouldn't freak out or cry or slap him.
She closed her eyes tight and her body was tense but he went very slow.
He got moving at a sleepy, slow pace and asked her if she was OK.
"I'm OK..." she answered, nodding her head.
She pulled his mouth to hers. His body wanted it faster but there was no way he'd give into that, not unless she asked.
He went slow and never got very fast at all.
She clung to him trying to remember everything about his face and hands and the way she felt in that moment.
He could sense it getting to the point of no return and he couldn't stop it. She saw his face scrunch up and he wrapped his arm around her head, burying his face into her neck.
He grunted and moaned a few times and then began apologizing profusely.
She lay stunned for a minute or two as he backed up and sat on the grass. She looked over at him and he was disposing of the condom and pulling up his jeans.
"Why did you say sorry?" she asked, pulling up her shorts.
"Did you even enjoy that?" he asked.
"Of course I did, it was perfect," she insisted, sitting up to kiss him.
"Oh...thank God!"
He stood up and reached down to help her up and they walked back to the camp together hand in hand.