Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 10: The Hatred to Her Light

"It's too dangerous! She is the king's ward!" Gaius reminded him.

"I had to do something!" Merlin shouted. His voice sounded shaky as if he had begun to cry. "You certainly weren't going to do anything."

"You should have left things be!" Gaius said harshly.

"You don't understand! It's terrifying to have magic and not know why!" Merlin told him. "You feel unnatural and unwanted. You feel like a monster! I couldn't let Morgana feel like that. I didn't want her to hurt."

There was a long pause.

"Merlin… please tell me you didn't…" Gaius said slowly.

"I didn't mean to," Merlin whispered. "It just happened."

"How did it happen?" Gaius asked.

"It was about three weeks ago," Merlin whispered. "Morgana was practicing moving a vase across the room. She was really struggling with that spell and it was making her frustrated. Well, it dropped and shatter while she was moving it. She got so upset and started crying. When I saw her cry, I realized that I never wanted to see her upset again. I wanted to make it better for her. I wanted to make the pain go away. I didn't want it to happen, but I don't regret that it did. I love her Gaius."

Morgana flushed a deep red. She and Merlin had talked briefly about their feelings and she knew that he loved her, but it was completely different to hear him say it to someone else.

"I'm sorry," Gaius said quietly.

"And now she's leaving me. I don't want her to leave, but she's leaving anyway," Merlin whispered. "And Morgause is going to twist her. She's going to make her evil." Morgana felt her anger return. How dare he presume such a terrible thing?

"You can't know that," Gaius said softly.

"I can though… I went to Kilgharrah," Merlin whispered. Morgana wondered who Kilgharrah was.

"He doesn't know everything," Gaius pointed out.

"He sent me to the Crystal Caves," Merlin continued as if Gaius hadn't spoken. "I saw terrible things Gaius. And Morgana was the cause of them."

"What did you see?" Gaius asked.

"I… I can't talk about it," Merlin told him. "But I can show you." Morgana heard shuffling again.

"My God," Gaius said reverently. "I never thought I would get to see one of these, much less hold it." Morgana was becoming increasingly agitated that she couldn't see inside the room.

"Look into it," Merlin whispered. "It's unbearable, but look at what she does."

Several minutes passed and they said nothing. Morgana had had enough. She barged into the room, stopping dead when she saw that Gaius was staring a mere crystal. "I want to know what has you so convinced that I am going to be evil one day," Morgana demanded. She looked at Merlin and hesitated. He looked completely devastated. His eyes were a little red and there was a damp spot on his sleeve, suggesting that he had hastily wiped away his tears when she walked in.

"I don't think you do," Merlin whispered.

"She has a right to this," Gaius pointed out, gesturing to the crystal. He had only looked into the crystal for a few minutes and already he had a haunted look on his face.

Morgana took a step towards Gaius, extending her hand to him. He handed her the crystal. "Morgana," Merlin said quickly. "No matter what you see, know that only you control your future. It's not definite."

"Is it that bad?" Morgana asked. She sounded like a child, begging for the answer that will make her feel better regardless of whether it's a lie.

But Merlin was going to lie to her. "Yes," he told her. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. What you are about to see, it's going to be bad. But I'm right here. I'll always be right here, helping you."

"I know," Morgana whispered. She mustered up every ounce of courage in her body and forced herself to look into the crystal.

She was confused at first. She saw herself with Mordred. She was certain it was him. She would never forget the druid boy she had met just months ago. Mordred had aged. He was a boy the last time she saw him and now he was a man.

Morgana was shocked when she saw herself. She blinked, hoping that she would miraculously look better, but it didn't work. She looked awful. She was so dirty, her dress was in tatters, and looked like she hadn't bathed in years. And the look in her eyes… Morgana didn't want to know what would make her look like that. The Morgana of the future held a sword out to Mordred. As if she had summoned it, a pure white dragon appeared. It consumed the sword with flames.

Morgana expected the sword to melt, but it didn't. It looked exactly as it had before. The she of the future looked pleased. She had expected that outcome. The image shifted as she and Mordred walked. Morgana looked on with horror as future-Morgana smiled at the dead bodies they walked past. Soldier after soldier, peasant after peasant. It seemed she was intentionally going out of her way to step on hands and kick aside the legs of the fallen soldiers. Even in death, the men were shown no mercy. Even the men that must have been fighting for her. She showed no remorse.

Morgana began to feel terrified. Is this what Morgause would do to her? Turn her into someone that reveled in the death and casualties that war would inevitably bring. It made Morgana nauseous. She could barely look at the dead bodies right now. What could cause her to transform so significantly? What could change her so much?

Eventually Morgana and Mordred walked right into the castle. They met no resistance. There was no one left to stop them. As if she knew exactly where to go, they walked towards the chambers where Uther stayed. They walked in and Morgana could see Uther, lying on the floor near his bed. He was deathly pale. Morgana didn't particularly care for Uther. He was too hard-hearted and cruel, but it pained her to see him like this. Arthur and Merlin were crouched by his side. Merlin was using some kind of cream on Uther.

Upon hearing Morgana and Mordred enter, Arthur and Merlin jumped to their feet. The Merlin of the future looked at Morgana sadly. His mouth moved and then suddenly the Morgana of the future was blasted into a wall.

Arthur just stared. So he hadn't known yet. His face twisted with anger and betrayal as he stared at Merlin. No words came to him, Morgana doubted he would know what to say. His distraction gave Mordred the opening to kill him. The sword plunged into Arthur's chest. When Mordred pulled the sword out, he left a gaping wound in its place. Arthur was dying.