"Guys, it's Christmas time! I want everyone to think of Christmas songs, because this year we're doing a performance in front of the school to raise money!" Will announced.
"I'm out. I don't even want to bother this time," Natalia retorted, preparing to storm out.
"Natalia!" Will yelled.
"What? I tell you this every year. My family is very Catholic. My parents put the tree up in OCTOBER to scare the 'spooks away from Halloween!' They found a tree with two points just because they couldn't decide between a star and an angel! So I'm all Christmased out!" she explained.
"But we're going to make it fun! Everyone loves Christmas!"
"Really? Because we have a Jew and some Atheists," Natalia pointed out.
"And I'm agnostic. I don't take a stand," Romeo added.
"I'm sure they don't care! You don't care if we sing just Christmas songs, do you Antonio?" Will asked. Antonio sighed. He mustered a smile.
"I…guess I don't mind…" he answered solemnly. Will smiled.
"Then we're doing Christmas songs for the school. That's all there is to it," he affirmed.
Romeo and Natalia stopped Antonio on the way out of the choir room. He turned around to face them and gave a smile.
"Um…hi…" he awkwardly greeted.
"Don't pretend to be happy. Honestly, how are you feeling about the performance Schuester wants us to do?" Natalia asked, crossing her arms. Antonio sighed.
"It just kind of bugs me…I feel like Hanukkah is underappreciated. I mean, I walk into a store to find a menorah because a candle spot on mine broke off, and Hanukkah isn't seven nights long. Well, what do I see? A ton of trees, crosses, and all this other stuff that confuses me. Is a damn menorah so much to ask for?" he ranted.
"I see how that could bother you," Romeo replied, putting an arm around him.
"I just feel like no one really understands how much it would actually mean to me for Hanukkah to get recognition," Antonio muttered.
"I have a solution. Refuse to perform unless you get some appreciation. This club has been too Christian for years now. It's about time we got a little Hebrew," Natalia stated.
"But I don't want to piss Schuester off," Antonio pointed out. Romeo laughed.
"I wouldn't worry about that. In fact, I say the three of us sing a little song to inspire them. Let's get together at Antonio's house and rehearse something for tomorrow," he suggested.
"Sounds good to me," Natalia accepted.
"If you guys can put up with my brother, it's a plan. He's visiting for the holidays, and he really can't wait to meet my friends," Antonio warned.
"Can't be worse than my brother," Natalia commented.
"Challenge accepted," Romeo said.
"Great! Let's get going!" Antonio commanded.
"Little brother! I thought you were never coming home! The dreidel I just made dried, and I have geld! Wanna play?" a man somewhere in this early twenties asked Antonio. He had a head of dark brown hair and green eyes.
"Sorry, Tino. I have plans tonight," Antonio rejected. Tino gasped as he saw Romeo and Natalia enter the house. He ran over to them.
"Hi, guys! I'm Tino Duval! I'm the older brother of little Antonio over there. Wanna play dreidel with me? Omigosh, how do you know Toni in the first place? I have so many questions!" Tino rambled. Natalia glared. Antonio walked over, trying to drag Tino away.
"The girl is Natalia, and the boy is Romeo. They're…both…my friends," he explained, not quite wanting to explain yet that Romeo is his boyfriend. Romeo winced a bit at only being called a friend, but chose not to respond.
"Well, it's great to meet you finally! Toni talks so much about you! Hey, Toni, let's sing them a Hanukkah song! Please? Please? It can be an old fashioned one!" Tino begged. Antonio rolled his eyes.
"Okay, but just a short one. Let's do 'Festival of Lights,'" he said. Tino nodded. He put a CD from the shelf by him into a boombox and began playing an instrumental.
"One is for the temple walls that didn't fall. Two is for the men who fought; god bless them all! Three is for the oil they found! Enough for just one day! Four is for the miracle that came their way! It burned for eight days!" Antonio sang.
"Five is for the hope and faith that wouldn't die. Six is for the Torah scrolls that still survived! Seven is for all the psalms in honor of them! Number eight are prayer and amen!" Tino sang.
"Eight days of Hanukkah! Eight happy nights! Eight days to celebrate the festival of lights! Eight days of Hanukkah! What memories they raise of those eight wonderful days! Let's all count! Count the ways," Antonio and Tino sang.
"One is for the temple walls that didn't fall. Two is for the men who fought; god bless them all! Three is for the oil they found! Enough for just one day! Four is for the miracle that came their way! It burned for eight days!" Tino sang.
"Five is for the hope and faith that wouldn't die. Six is for the Torah scrolls that still survived! Seven is for all the psalms in honor of them! Number eight are prayer and amen!" Antonio sang.
"Eight days of Hanukkah! Eight happy nights! Eight days to celebrate the festival of lights! Eight days of Hanukkah! What memories they raise of those eight wonderful days! Eight days of Hanukkah! Eight happy nights! Eight days to celebrate the festival of lights! Eight days of Hanukkah! What memories they raise of those eight wonderful days! Of those eight wonderful days!" they both finished. Natalia and Romeo clapped.
"That was, er…nice," Romeo said. He headed for Antonio's room, dragging Natalia and Antonio.
"We need to work on a Hanukkah song for Glee club, Tino. We can play dreidel when we're done," Antonio compromised. The trio walked up to the next floor of the house. Antonio ushered them into his extremely tidy bedroom.
"Sorry for the mess, guys. I didn't anticipate cleaning it first," Antonio apologized. Natalia twitched.
"There's just a couple books from your…massive bookshelf out of place. But whatever. It's cool," she said. Romeo sat beside Antonio on his bed.
"So I take it Tino doesn't know about me being your boyfriend?" he asked. Antonio shook his head.
"I've only told my mother…sorry…"
"No, no, it's fine! I was just wondering!" Romeo assured.
"Why haven't you told your father or brother?" Natalia asked.
"Because the only person in my family I actually came out to is my mother. Hell, she still thinks I'm just bi-sexual. She's supportive, but I'm scared…and my father is nice, but he's strict. I don't want to make him uncomfortable. Same goes for Tino. Tino means the world to me. I don't want to risk losing him," Antonio explained.
"Why did you even tell your mom, then? Weren't you scared?" Romeo asked.
"I wasn't planning on it…but one day she came in while I was supposed to be reading one of those law books that I've read a hundred times already…I just so happened to be reading into the LGBT community because I was feeling self-conscience about it. Anyway, she walked in to visit with me. She saw what I was looking at, saw that I was horrified, and just stared at me…and you can guess what happened. She promised not to tell Tino or dad since that's my job…" Antonio added.
"Aw…sounds sweet," Romeo commented.
"Sounds sappy. Subject change, do you know a song we can sing?" Natalia asked.
"I do. It's something I found on the internet recently…" Antonio answered, walking over to his computer to show them.
"So does anyone have a song contender for the Christmas concert?" Will asked. Antonio raised his hand.
"Natalia, Romeo, and I have a holiday song prepared," he said. The three went to the front of the room. Antonio cued for the music to start.
"I'll tell a tale, tale, tale, tale. Of Maccabees in Israel-ael-ael-ael, yeah. When the Greeks tried to assail-sail-sail-sail, yeah. But it was all to no avail-vail-vail, vail, yeah, yeah!" Natalia sang.
" The war went on and on and on until the mighty Greeks were gone!" Romeo sang.
"Yeah, I flip my latkes in the air sometimes. Sayin' hey-o, spin the dreidel! Just wanna celebrate for all eight nights! Singin', hey-o, light the candle!" the three sang together.
"We say, "Al hanissim", oh yeah, for all eight nights! Then we play dreidel by the candlelight! And I told you once, now I told you twice 'bout the miracle of the candlelight," Antonio sang.
"They took the field, field, field, field. Their rivals thought are they for real, real, real, real? Those Maccabees, they'd never yield, yield, yield, yield. They charged ahead with sword and shield, shield, shield, shield, yeah, yeah," Natalia sang.
"The war went on and on until the might Greeks were gone!" Romeo joined.
"Yeah, I flip my latkes in the air sometimes! Sayin' hey-o, spin the dreidel! Just wanna celebrate for all eight nights! Singin', hey-o, light the candle," Antonio sang.
"And the great menorah; for eight days, it kept on burning! What a celebration. A great return to Torah learning! Cause I can feel it! And I ses gadol, nes gadol! Nes gadol hayah sham! Nes gadol hayah sham! Nes gadol hayah sham!" Romeo sang.
"I flip my latkes in the air sometimes. Sayin' hey-o, spin the dreidel! Just wanna celebrate for all eight nights! Singin', hey-o, light the candle," Antonio sang.
"We say, "Maoz tzur", oh yeah, for all eight nights. Then we play dreidel by the candlelight! And I told you once, now I told you twice 'bout the miracle of the candlelight!" the three finished. The class applauded as they sat down. Will looked at them confused.
"Guys, I thought you were performing a Christmas song," he said.
"We never said anything about Christmas. Just holiday," Natalia pointed out.
"But it's CHRISTMAS!" Will emphasized. Antonio rolled his eyes.
"I don't care what you say. I'm Jewish. I don't know how other Jews you had dealt with it, but I'm protesting. It's not fair to me to force me to sing songs to respect your religion when you won't even try to respect mine! I'm out of here! I'll be back after Christmas!" Antonio protested. He stormed out. Romeo and Natalia followed.
"I'm not participating either. We worked hard, and I personally don't like intolerant people," Romeo said.
"I just hate Christmas. Thanks for helping me realize this Schuester," Natalia sneered. They went off in search of Antonio, but didn't know he went where he knew no one could find him.
"Wow, do you think he's really serious about not coming until after Christmas?" Lei asked.
"Probably. And he has every right to be. Mr. Schue was kind of mean…" Amber replied.
"But no one really cares about Hanukkah," Roderick stated.
"I think that's a bit rude to say. Obviously Antonio cares. I think we should all do a song together to make it up to him," Mimi stressed.
"While that sounds fine and dandy, do Hanukkah songs even exist?" Shantel asked.
"I don't know. That's something we should look into. Mimi's right," Will admitted.
Antonio sat in his bedroom by the window sill. He looked out as snow began to gently fall on the ground. He sighed. All the kids in the neighborhood were excited about Christmas snow. They tried to catch it on their tongues. It brought back memories of when Antonio was a child. He would try to play with the other kids and try to catch some snowflakes on his tongue. There was always one person that would tell him to buzz of, though. Jews aren't allowed to eat Christmas snow.
"It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas. My Friends won't let me join in any games. And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree!" Antonio sang, watching the kids decorate a regular pine tree.
"Or leave water out for Rudolph 'cos there's something wrong with me! My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity! I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew…on Christmas…" Antonio sang. He went down stairs to see his family prepare the Menorah for the rapidly approaching Hanukkah.
"Hanukkah is nice but why is it? That Santa passes over my house every year? And instead of eating ham, I have to eat kosher latkes! Instead of Silent Night, I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish. And what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles, tell me please?" Antonio sang, lighting a candle for Hanukkah and nibbling on latkes.
"I'm a Jew…A Lonely Jew...I can't be merry, cuz I'm Hebrew! On Christmas…" Antonio continued to sing. He slumped down depressingly on the couch in his living room. Tino came out, and sat beside Antonio.
"Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear, you're feeling left out of Christmas cheer. But I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad, 'Cos this is the one month that you should be glad!" Tino sang, turning on the TV to some sappy Christmas program and forcing Antonio to watch.
"Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas! You don't have to deal with the season at all. You don't have to be on your best behavior, or give to charity. You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family!" Tino pointed out. Antonio smiled.
"And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap, and have him breathe his stinky breath on me!" Antonio added.
"That's right! You're a Jew," Tino sang.
"A stylin' Jew!" Antonio emphasized.
"It's a good time, to be Hebrew... on Christmas!" they finished happily.
Antonio stared blankly at the stage set up in the gymnasium. He had kept to his promise of not attending Glee club until after Christmas all the rest of the week. It was only the 16th, but New Directions had prepared to perform their Christmas concert then. I might donate money, but there's no way I'm singing. I just wish Natalia and Romeo were sitting with me. I guess I can't expect them to skip with me.
"Howdy, Antonio! Mind if I sit with ya?" Antonio heard. He looked over to see a blonde dressed in a slightly Texan style of clothing and a Stetson walking over. Antonio nodded.
"I'd appreciate that, Mercutio! You here to see Romeo?"
"Oh, you betcha! I wouldn't miss a performance from my brother even if the world were to end! What about you, though? Aren't you singin'?" Mercutio asked, sitting beside him.
"Nay. I'm not feeling very festive at the moment."
"That's a darn shame. I'm sure you'll get over it, though. Tis the season and all that jazz," Mercutio replied. Antonio nodded. After totally ignoring Figgins's usual speech at the beginning of performances, Antonio saw the curtains draw apart. Standing at the front of the stage all alone was Natalia. The beginning of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra version of "Carol of the Bells" droned through the gym. A sudden blue stage light shone on Natalia as she began to sing.
"Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells all seem to say, throw cares away. Christmas is here, bringing good cheer to young and old, (meek and the bold). Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song, with joyful ring, (all caroling). One seems to hear words of good cheer from everywhere, (filling the air). O, how they pound, raising the sound o'er hill and dale, telling their tale. Gaily they ring, while people sing songs of good cheer, christmas is here! Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas! Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas! On, on they send, on without end! Their joyful tone to every home. (Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells all seem to say, throw cares away.) Christmas is here, bringing good cheer to young and old, (meek and the bold)! Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song. With joyful ring, (all caroling.) One seems to hear words of good cheer from everywhere, (filling the air). O, how they pound, raising the sound. O'er hill and dale, telling their tale. Gaily they ring, while people sing songs of good cheer, christmas is here! Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas! Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!" Natalia sang, the other members of New Directions slowly joining her in back up as she droned on.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are the New Directions. This is our Christmas show. Donation jars are all around the gymnasium. All proceeds go to buying toys for Toys for Tots. We hope you enjoy our show. The next song we are performing is 'Cold and Fugue Season' sung by Stella Romero and Amber Rose," Natalia introduced. The audience clapped as the rest of New Directions filed off the stage, save for Amber and Stella. The piano began playing.
"We just want to sing this classy fugue for you!" they sang together.
"But I just keep sneezing and sneezing," Amber sang.
"And my partners coughing and wheezing and I don't think Bach wrote sneezes in this Fugue!" Stella joined with her.
"I don't think we'll ever make it through this song without Kleenex cough drops and Nyquil. Hot tea and heat pad and Vicks and a doctor bill and anyway, I think it's much too long! Please pass the Kleenex. Hand out the cough drops. Turn on the vapourizer. Call for the flu shots. Dish out the Chicken soup. Hand out the crac-kers. Please call my mo-ther. I'm feeling sick!" they continued.
"Mom, please take me home!" Amber sang.
"Put me to bed," Stella sang.
"I have a cold!" Amber sang.
"My aching head!" Stella sang.
"I should have stayed," Amber sang.
"Home like you said! But here I am instead!" Stella whined.
"I don't want!" Amber yelled, stomping her foot.
"I don't want to sing this classy fugue for you!" Stella added, stomping her foot after Amber.
"'Cause we keep on sneezing and sneezing and my partners coughing and wheezing and I don't think Bach wrote sneezes in this Fugue!" they finished. They ended it finally with a sneeze. Amber took the microphone as the audience applauded.
"Thank you! Please give your attention to Shane and Roderick, now! They're performing 'Perfect Winter Day!'" she affirmed, putting the microphone back. Roderick and Shane walked out as the music started. Roderick acted all bubbly while Shane acted sick, holding a box of tissues. Roderick started.
"It was a snowin'! The wind was blowin'! The snow was fallin' all around me. I was a slidin'! My feet were glidin'! It was a perfect winter day! What a perfect day to build a snowman! Build a snowman! Build a snowman! What a perfect day to build a snowman!A perfect winter day!" he sang. Shane pretended to sneeze and sniffle before starting his part.
"I don't particularly like the winter. I always get (sniff) a head (sniff) cold (sniff). I think it's cold and wet and messy and sloppy. Just a perfect winter (sniff), if you like that sort of thing. I have a headache. My eyes itch. My nose is clogged. Oh, I feel crummy on this perfect winter day," he sang.
"Yes, it's a perfect winter day!" Roderick repeated.
"A perfect winter day…achoo!" Shane finished. Degraded both of them walked away to make room for the rest of New Directions girls piled on stage. They stood on risers accordingly to begin the next song. Mimi stepped out in front.
"You know Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen. Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen! But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?" she started. She went back with the other girls. Natalia walked in front with a red nose and reindeer antlers.
"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose! And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows!" Kourtney sang.
"All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!" Lei sang. Amber and Stella, both with black noses and antlers, were picking on Natalia.
"Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say: 'Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?'" Alexandra sang. Natalia triumphed over Stella and Amber.
"Then how the reindeer loved him! As they shouted out with glee: 'Rudolph the red-nosed Reindeer, you'll go down in history! You'll go down in history!'" all the girls finished together. They all left the stage to allow the boys to come on. Romeo stood in front of all of them and grabbed the microphone.
"Frosty the snowman was a jolly, happy soul with a corn cop pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal! Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale they say! He was made of snow, but the children know how he came to life that day! There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found," Romeo sang. He tossed a hat over to Roderick, who put it on. He immediately began dancing. Tate took over from Romeo.
"For when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around! Frosty the snowman was alive as he could be. And the children say he could laugh and play just the same as you and me! Frosty the snowman knew the snow was hot that day. So he said 'Let's run and have some fun before I melt away'! Down to the village with a broomstick in his hand, runnin' here and there all around the square saying catch me if you can!" Tate sang. Roderick mimicked everything that was sung accordingly. He began skipping to the beat around the stage. Glen and Dennis followed, singing.
"Thumpity-thump-thump! Thumpity-thump-thump! Look at Frosty go! Thumpity-thump-thump! Thumpity-thump-thump! O'er the hills of snow!"
"Frosty the snowman had to hurry on his way! But he waved good-bye, saying 'Don't you cry, I'll be back again someday!'" the boys finished. The girls joined them back on the stage. Romeo and Natalia snuck off to join Antonio in the audience.
"What are you two doing?" Antonio asked. Romeo smiled as he sat between Antonio and Mercutio.
"You'll see!" he answered. Will walked onto the stage in front of New Directions.
"This last song we're singing is not actually a Christmas carol. Our good friend Antonio was upset that we weren't representing Hanukkah this year. We were all intolerant. It so happens we offended him. We couldn't find any actual Hanukkah songs, so we decided to go with this one. It's a parody of different rock songs through the decades done Hebrew style," Mr. Schue introduced. He sat down at the piano. The New Directions filed off the stage as he began to play the beginning notes of "Great Balls of Fire."
"Oh when the Greeks ruled the temple and land! To be a Jew, this they could not stand! They tried to kill, but we rebelled! Goodness, gracious, miracle of oil!" he sang. Tate came out next, Mimi and Kourtney du-opping behind him.
"Yeah! Hey, the Greek leader said! Torah is out! No Shabbat or Kosher, now! No brit milah! Well, Judah Maccabee! Said this cannot be! If you are for God! Then follow me!" Tate sang, the two girls singing back up. The notes to "Born to be Wild" began to play. Antonio was just staring, not believing the performance he was witnessing. Suddenly, Roderick came out.
"Fight the superpower beating them in battle. Cleaning out the temple. Am Yisrael Chai! Jug of pure oil! Jug of pure oil!" he sang. The song drifted into "Staying Alive." Dennis, Glen, and Shane walked out, dressed like the Bee Gees.
"Enough oil for just one day, but it lasted all eight days! With joy we cried! We saw God's hand! On Hanukkah, we took a stand! Weak against the strong, few against the mighty – seeing the light! Seeing the light! Good against the wicket, pure on impure – seeing the light! Seeing the light! Ah, ah, ah, ah, seeing the light! Seeing the light! Ah, ah, ah, ah, seeing the light!" the three sang. Antonio was stifling his laughter as much as he could. When he heard the guitar riff from "Don't Stop Believing" start, he lost it. Alexandra popped out, dressed like Steve Perry.
"Each night, we're lighting. Add another candle! Spread the light for all to see. Eight nights, we're lighting! Publicize the miracle! Put in the window! For all to see!" she sang, holding a menorah. "Can't Touch This" began playing and Stella walked out with different Jewish treats.
"Gotta eat this. Gotta eat this! Gotta eat this? My, my, my, my!" she sang. Lei came out next as the music for "We Like to Move It" played. She was carrying dreidels.
"We like to spin it, spin it! They like to spin it, spin it! We like to spin it, spin it! Dreidel! All the kids all over the world! We gonna spin that dreidel! Spin. Spin. Spin. Spin it! Spin it! Spin it!" she sang, spinning the dreidels. Antonio thought it couldn't get better until Shantel strutted out as "Moves Like Jagger" began to play. She was carrying two menorahs and began dancing, using them as props. He was practically crying from his laughing.
"Oh, yeah! Ho! Hanukkah's like this! If you're old or young, we'll light it! Show your Jewish pride and light! I got my new menorah! I love my new menorah! I love my new menorah!" she sang. Amber strutted out with menorahs next, dancing.
"Nes gadol haya poh! There was a great miracle that happened here!" she finished. Antonio slowly found himself walking up onstage. Everyone was smiling at him. He calmed the laughing down and grabbed the microphone. He rubbed the tears out of his eyes.
"So, Antonio, what do you think?" Mimi asked. Everyone looked tense.
"That was probably one of the most offensive things I've ever witnessed," he started. They looked dejected. He smiled.
"And I couldn't have loved it more!" he added. They smiled. Before he knew it, he was enclosed in a group hug. For the first time in years, he didn't feel like the lonely Jew on Christmas.
AN: Christmas episode : ) Now I realize at the moment it's June...but when I first wrote this it was back in December. Expect the same conflict with the Valentine's Day episode! XD
Songs:
Festival of Lights by Unknown Artist - Antonio Duval and Tino Duval
Candlelight by the Maccabeats - Romeo Jensen, Natalia Lee, and Antonio Duval
The Lonely Jew on Christmas from South Park - Antonio Duval and Tino Duval
Carol of the Bells - Natalia Lee
Cold and Fugue Season - Stella Romero and Amber Rose
Perfect Winter Day - Roderick Jones and Shane Alcotte
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer - ND Girls
Frosty the Snowman - ND boys
Chanukah Jewish Rock of Ages - New Directions and Will Schuester