Revisions:Edited for FanFiction dot Net 11/17/2015.
Previously...
"Yeah, let's jet. We might even get back in time for a hot meal," Sam said eagerly, darting out through the doors. Thinking hungrily of eating in and most definitely not anything else.
Now...
Chapter 10: The Author Regrets The Format of The Chapter Titles And Henceforth Shall Stop With That Headline Nonsense
The three teens paused in front of Aunt May's home.
"Well, here we are," Petra said, looking up at the too familiar house that wasn't quite right.
"Home sweet home!" Peter said brightly.
She shifted her weight from foot to foot and worried at her lip. She looked so tense, like she actually thought Aunt May wouldn't let her stay.
"Hey, Webby, no need to worry," Sam said, brushing shoulders with her, "Aunt May is totally awesome!"
Petra looked down tightening her grip on her borrowed backpack, "Yeah, Aunt May...
"Ah man what am I gonna do if Aunt May doesn't like me? What if she hates me? Where am I gonna stay? Will I have to be a hobo and live life by the hobo code? I don't wanna be a hobo!"
"Pet chillax!" Sam said, exasperated. Did they both have to freak out over ridiculous things? In what terrible universe would Aunt May not welcome in her family or Peter's friends? Sam didn't want to discover it if it existed. No way.
"It's gonna be ok, Petra. You aren't going to be a hobo," Peter soothed, "Aunt May will love you, for sure!"
Of course Peter would think her weird hobo idea was worth mentioning. Webheaded idiots, the both of them.
Sam's stomach chose that moment to announce its hunger with a sound like a churlgurian rug beast [52]. Petra and Peter stared at him with near identical expressions of disgusted awe.
"What? I'm starving!" Sam said defensively. Peter smirked.
"I guess you are still growing," Peter teased. Petra giggled. Inwardly Sam felt a tickle of relief at the happy sound. Outwardly...
"You bet your butt I'm still growing! I'm gonna be taller than you one day, Webhead! [53]"
"In your dreams, Buckethead [54]," Peter said, condescending.
"Aww, poor lil Short Stack. Hey, if it's any consolation you're like, four whole inches taller than my Sammie," Petra said, ruffling Sam's hair. Sam flailed at her hand.
"Augh, Webby, das't it! I just gelled that!" He snapped, spiky hair now mostly flat. She gave him a shove towards the house.
"Whatever, Sparky. Come on, let's get this over with."
Acting Principal slash Special Agent Coulson was going over some paperwork with Aunt May in the living room as they entered.
"Hi Aunt May, this is cousin Petra. You ah, you remember cousin Petra, right Aunt May?" Peter said by way of introduction. Petra gave a little wave.
"Hi Aunt May!"
"Hey Aunt May," Sam greeted, not bothering to stop on his way to the kitchen.
"Hello Petra, so good to see you, dear. I'm sorry but for the life of me I just cannot recall us meeting before. Peter, did you remember Petra here is your cousin?" Aunt May asked.
"Hah. Hah. Yeah, good ol' cousin Petra! Hahaha," Peter lied, laughing nervously.
"Hahaha, that's me! Cousin Petra!" Petra added, just as awkward.
"I just don't remember ever receiving a baby shower invitation, or birth announcement for my niece."
"Second cousin, once removed. So technically also your cousin, too," Petra flubbed.
"Named Petra," Aunt May said.
"Yep, haha, that's my name!" Petra said, smiling.
Peter laughed nervously again.
"That is being sent to stay with us. And that I should not mention to her parents for inadequately explained reasons regarding their apparent amnesia?"
"May—" Coulson began, adjusting his already perfectly aligned tie.
"Principal Coulson, of course I will take in dear Petra. Peter, show her to the guest bedroom that Ava is staying in, would you please?"
"Yeah! Sure thing Aunt May!" Peter said with obvious relief, practically running for the stairs.
"Thank you, Aunt May. This means a lot to me," Petra said, walking over and pulling Aunt May into a hug.
"Of course, dear, whatever happened, you are family, after all," Aunt May said kindly, returning the hug. Petra hugged her momentarily tighter, then stepped back. Following Peter up the stairs.
"Thank you for taking in your cousin, May-" Coulson began.
"Phil, don't you patronize me. If you think for a hot minute that-"
"I'll just bring the webheads their supper upstairs then!" Sam called from the kitchen around a mouthful of food. Running upstairs with his plate, fork and a hastily grabbed Tupperware of leftovers.
／/＼｡｡／\＼ミ to be continued 彡／/＼｡｡／\＼
Footnotes:
52 Churlgurian Rug Beasts are so named for their penchant to hunt down and brutally slaughter any furniture daring to rest its legs upon soft, woven fibers. They appear to only care for hand (or hoof, or paw, or tentacle, etc.) woven rugs. Before synthetically produced rugs were widely available on Churlga this was a frequent and a rather loud, gurgling sort of death for anyone unfortunate enough to be occupying said furniture at the time.
53 He would forever remain 5'6'' in this universe. Except that one time with the Pym particles. Two times, come to think of it. And then there was that time with Loki and the... You know what, let me revise that to say this Sam is supposed to stay 5'6'' assuming no outside interference.
54 Actually, Sam secretly loved how much stronger and taller Peter was. So he wasn't even taller than him in his dreams. He'd never admit it out loud though, even if horrifically tortured by one of Peter's many archnemeses.