I've tried to stay as close to canon as I can in this story- hope I'm doing alright!

"Melly!" Sirius' loud voice boomed through the house a few weeks later. She turned from washing the dishes, wiping her hands on a towel. "I'm in here!" she called.

Her husband appeared in the kitchen, an enormous grin plastered across his face. "Lily's had the baby!"

Melanie shrieked and ran across the room to wrap her arms around his waist. "Really?" she asked breathlessly. "Is she okay? It's a boy, right? How is he? How's James?"

Sirius laughed and kissed her soundly. "It is a boy, and they've named him Harry," he told her, smiling when her face lit up. His heart sank when he remembered the look of joy that had crossed her face when she found out she was pregnant right after graduation. He shook his head. Now was not the time to fall into bad memories. He grabbed her hands. "There's better news," he began, laughing when she threw her arms around his neck and begged him to tell her. "We're going to be the godparents."

Melanie stared at him. "Us?" she repeated stupidly.

He gave a bark-like laugh. "Yeah! I just spoke to James. Lily's agreed to it."

Melanie frowned. "Sirius, we're the last people they should want to entrust with their child."

The smile vanished from Sirius' face when he realized she was serious. "What do you mean?"

She waved an arm helplessly around the room. "Look at us! We can't get along for more than two seconds! And I'm sure they wouldn't want Harry around the drugs!"

Sirius scowled at her. "Who else were they gonna ask?" he challenged.

"Remus."

He made a face. "I told you, there's something going on with Moony. I don't trust him. Besides, he turns into a raging monster once a month. And can you see Peter taking care of a kid?"

Melanie shook her head. "You need to talk to them, Sirius. This isn't right."

Sirius shrugged. "What are the odds of us having to raise him, anyway?" he asked matter-of-factly.

Melanie nodded her agreement, still pondering the situation. Surely Remus would have been a better choice, even if he was single. He could have someone else watch Harry during the full moon. Something didn't feel right.

Sirius sensed her discomfort. Pulling her into his arms, he told her, "Melly, quit worrying. It's just a precaution. Nothing to worry about."

She allowed him to hold her, enjoying the feel and smell of him. He hadn't touched her in months, choosing instead to stay out at night with women he met in the pub. She wished he would love her- the way Remus did- but knew that it simply wasn't in Sirius' makeup to be faithful. He needed the rush, the thrill, the adrenaline- why else would he have agreed to join the Order? She buried her face in his robes and sighed. She said a silent prayer that it would never come to pass that she and Sirius would have to take care of Harry.

"He's perfect," Melanie breathed, playing with Baby Harry's tiny fingers and toes as Lily looked on. They were sitting in the Potters' living room, sharing a cup of tea and visiting while their husbands were at an Order meeting. Melanie had noticed the strange, suspicious look Sirius had given Remus when they met at the door. Her husband was still convinced that Remus was a spy for Voldemort, and he refused to listen to her when she tried to explain that that was impossible. She hoped Sirius would keep his mouth shut- surely he wasn't stupid enough to start a fight in the midst of a war.

Smiling, Lily reached out to take Harry back into her arms. "He looks exactly like James, doesn't he?"

Melanie giggled. "Almost. He has your eyes, Lily."

Lily gazed at her son, enraptured. "I can't believe we're parents."

"I can't believe you asked us to be the godparents," Melanie observed dryly, raising an eyebrow.

Lily laughed. "Who else would we ask? You two are our friends."

"But-"

"Remus couldn't handle a child on his own; he can barely afford to feed himself. And Peter is not the kind of man I want having an influence on my son."

"He is whiny," Melanie agreed.

Lily gave her a kind smile. "You and Sirius will be excellent godparents, I'm sure of it."

Before Melanie could answer, Lily changed the subject. "What's going on between you and Remus?" she asked idly, playing with Harry's shock of messy black hair. She didn't look up as she stated, "You haven't been spending a lot of time together lately. It's almost like you're avoiding each other."

Melanie shifted uncomfortably. "We…ended it."

Lily met her eyes, and Melanie was surprised to see pity in their emerald green depths. "You two would have been perfect for each other," she said softly. "I know you love Sirius, but- Remus would have done everything he could to give you the best life possible."

Melanie looked away, feeling her cheeks turn red with shame. "I know he would have. But to be honest, even if I had known how he felt back at school, I can't say I would have walked away from Sirius. We're too alike."

Lily pursed her lips. "You're both looking for satisfaction in a relationship built on uneven footing," she observed. "Blood shouldn't be the basis of marriage." When Melanie began to speak, Lily cut her off. "And neither should an addiction."

Hot tears stung her eyes as Melanie looked away. Leave it to Lily to be blunt about something she'd rather not admit to. "I'm trying to stop, Lily," she said quietly. "I have to. For Harry. What if something were to happen and he needed us? I can't keep living like this."

Lily looked surprised. "Why don't you, then?"

Melanie choked back tears as she explained, "It hurts. I feel….so awful if I don't get my fix. I want to die. I don't- I don't think I have the strength to stop, Lily."

Her friend leaned over and patted her hand in an understanding gesture. "Baby steps," she advised. "At least you want to stop."

Melanie looked away, knowing Lily was referring to Sirius.

Lily cleared her throat. "I'm going to start dinner. They'll be home soon." She stood up, coming around the coffee table to hand Melanie the bundle of blankets that was Harry. "Will you hold him for a bit?"

"Sure," she agreed, smiling down at the baby. She fought tears again as she remembered the excitement and anticipation she had felt when she had been pregnant. She had so looked forward to being a mother.

She sat there for several minutes, lost in her thoughts, when suddenly voices in the kitchen startled her. She looked up to see Sirius walking into the living room, with Remus right behind him.

Sirius strode directly over to her. "Let me see him," he said, holding out his arms. Melanie reluctantly handed Harry over. She caught Remus' eye for an instant over her husband's shoulder before she looked away.

Remus took the hint and walked back into the kitchen, laughing good-naturedly with James as Sirius settled down on the arm of Melanie's chair, Harry held close to his chest. He sighed. "Maybe one day we'll have one of these," he said suddenly.

Melanie looked away. "Maybe," was all she said.

Sirius sighed. "Melly, you have to move on. I want children. I know you want children. You can't hold on to the one you've lost."

"We lost, Sirius," she reminded him. "He was your son, too."

Sirius wisely decided to hold his tongue and instead began cooing to Harry, tickling the boy's toes.

Not long after, Lily called them into the kitchen for dinner. Sirius handed Harry back to his mother and took a seat across from Melanie. She pretended not to notice that her own husband didn't want to sit by her. She knew it wasn't anything personal; Sirius was hurt that she wasn't ready for a baby yet, and he would never understand the sense of loss she felt as an expectant mother. Her next baby wouldn't be her first, but it would be her oldest. She wasn't a mother, but she had decorated a nursery and bought baby clothes and prepared to be one. She felt as if she was lost in limbo between childhood and motherhood, and no one would ever understand her intense disappointment and grief.

She caught Remus looking at her and refused to meet his eyes. Let him think what he wants, she thought. I don't owe him an explanation.