Um...hi. Yeah, I know I said that it would be a while, but as I was working on the chapter for my other story, I realized something.
The Dawn Has Arrived is way more fun to write than War: Legend.
Honestly, my thrill for writing W: L has diminished. It's hard to write in third person, and it isn't nearly as fun as writing Helios' sarcastic quips, jabs and jibes. Plus, my other story was my first one, and I wrote it when I had no experience with writing a story at all. I think that there's a lot of things that I'd like to change if I had the chance. This was a hard decision to make, because I know a lot of you enjoyed my other story, but I've decided that for now, I'm putting War: Legend on hiatus. But, to make it up to you, I will include my OC summoner for that story in this one, and yes, that means a Sona pairing. Who knows, maybe I can get my boy Ellis to be Sona's Jay Badger (HoneyBadgerDCFF, kudos to you, my man for all your magnificent work, go check Badger's fics out guys, they're awesome). Once again, sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm just having way too much fun with TDHA. This chapter will have Helios hating Nature, Selene, and Life in general. NOW LET'S DO THIS THING!
I woke up early the next morning, just before the Me rose. It wasn't that I had a lot to pack; I just enjoyed watching myself rise over the horizon. Selene might think that Her-lit nights are romantic, but in my opinion there's nothing more romantic than a good Me-set and Me-rise. Seriously, I've seen a shitload of weddings take place just before I go under the general field-of-view. They're always nice. Lots of singing, dancing, and plenty of champagne. Yum. I don't know why getting drunk seems to be a favorite pastime during weddings, I really don't. Although, usually the groom knocks up the bride the night after, so I guess I don't really mind. The only thing just as strong as the power of love is the power of alcohol. It works wonders, let me tell you.
I also wanted to save as much daylight as possible while I booked it across Mogron Pass and to Mount Targon. You'll freeze your ass off up on the mountain at night, and I'm not even exaggerating. There was this one guy who got frostbite on his anus. If he'd survived the trip, he would have had a hell of a time going to the bathroom.
So there I was, eating another portion of my rations as the Me rose. It was probably gonna be the last relaxing moment I had before Mother Nature rolled up her sleeves to give me a spanking. Well, there isn't actually a Mother Nature, but you know what I mean. The closes thing to Mother Nature Runeterra has is Ivern. The only difference is that he doesn't try to kill you when it's the least convenient time. The guy doesn't even attack jungle monsters on the Rift. He just gets to making groves and setting them free. It's always a pain for Kolminye to have them rounded up afterwards. I don't even know why she bothers. Oh well, at least she doesn't use bees as a substitute.
Don't you look at me like that. I can't see your faces, but I know that that's the expression you guys are wearing right now. You know that bees are evil little shits. The second you get close to a flower they're occupying, poink! You've got a stinger in your crotch. Honestly, we're practically at war. You'd be surprised at how many champions agree with me. Even Zyra's conceded to that point. Naturally, Ivern has the exact opposite opinion (hashtagNaturePunz). He's always frolicking in the forests and fields with all manner of minions of darkness. Even honey badgers, Mordekaiser's only known fear, and I don't know how he manages to do that. Several of us have to keep telling Ivern to stop fraternizing with the enemy, but he never listens. He'd better hope none of the animals spontaneously become vegans, or he's screwed.
After I was done looking in the mirror (sorta), I happily received the heartfelt goodbye that everybody gave me. Well, what passed for one anyways. Sivir tried to play it cool, acting like she was going to be glad to see me off, but I could tell that she'd liked our Ultimate Frisbee sessions. Taliyah started crying a little (rocky exterior, my ass), and gave me a hug. at this point I was just learning to go with it. Ezreal gave me a proper bro-hug, and told me that I'd be welcome to visit him in Piltover anytime. I was starting to consider it; I'd never seen Vi punch anybody's face up close before. Cassiopeia also gave me a bro-hug (Zen-Moment: it matters not what thine gender is, only if thou possesseth the true heart of a bro), and informed that Katarina and Talon would've liked to meet me. Hear that, scrubs? That's how a boss does it. Nasus and Renekton just said that it was nice meeting me, and as for Rammus, well...guess.
I waved goodbye as Azir and I walked out of the palace. "Ready to depart, Helios?" He asked me.
I nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready."
Sand began to swirl around us, completely blocking my vision for a few seconds. When the sand dissipated, we were standing a few hundred meters away from Mogron Pass. Sand-teleportation, nifty eh?
For those of you who haven't been to Mogron Pass (which I would highly recommend, it's a cool place), it's basically rocky path through the mountains that leads directly to Mount Targon. You have to do a bit of climbing most of the way, and there aren't any trees until you arrive at the mountain, which has a forest at its base. Another odd thing is that no matter what time of the year it is, Mount Targon is always surrounded by a massive blizzard. Somebody could be sipping on a tequila barely one hundred miles away for all you knew, and it wouldn't matter. Admittedly, that was a bit of a Geography Derp on my part. My bad, sorry.
"Do you need me to accompany you the first few miles of your journey, Helios?" Azir asked. "I would not want you to lose your way."
"Nah, I'll be fine." I waved a hand dismissively. "I created the way, after all. It won't take me long."
Azir nodded in understanding. "Very well. Farewell, my friend. Until we meet again." Sand swirled around him, and once it dissipated, he was nowhere to be seen.
"Alright." I rubbed my hands together, gazing up at the mountain range in front of me. "I can do this. I'm just a hop, skip, and a jump away from getting to my entourage. No pressure."
Surprisingly, I didn't jinx myself right away. And I only use that term very reluctantly. Why? Jinx won't stop making awful puns about it. Her main goal in life is to annoy people, from what I've gathered, so she'll do whatever it takes to drive people nuts. Just...someone help us, please. We'll kill ourselves if we have to hear more puns. They're unbearable.
Getting back on track, despite all odds against me, my trek across Mogron Pass was actually pretty pleasant. A lot of people will tell you it's a dangerous place to be, but it's only because of the terrain. One slip is all you need to fall to your death. The view is beautiful once you get past that fact. Plus, thanks to my newfound and admittedly cliché strength (all gods and goddesses have it, so I was kinda bummed that I didn't get anything creative), I could climb the whole way without breaking a sweat. I even knocked down a few stone pillars to make myself a bridge.
It was a nice day, too. The Me was shining, the wind was giving me a nice breeze as I walked, and one time I even thought I saw a Demacian Eagle.
Cue the audible gasps!
Demacians eagles ain't nearly extinct, ladies and gentlemen (plus all the weirdos, no offense). They're endangered (stupid poachers), but not extinct. They've taken to hiding in the places that no one will expect, i.e. Mogron Pass. Naturally, they appear when no one has a camera on hand. They actually do that on purpose. They're smarter than you think. Quinn isn't hallucinating when she talks to Valor; she's just learned how to read his visual and audial cues.
Anyways, the part where I screwed myself over was when I got down to the base of Mount Targon.
That's when the cold hit me.
The second I entered the snowy forest at the base, a wall of wind slammed into me, à la Shurima style. The only difference was that it was cold as hell. My cloak whipped around wildly as I trudged through the deep snow, my hands barely able to hold it to my body. It was pretty foggy, too, but my burning eye cut right through it. It was just forest, forest and more forest as I walked, each tree almost invisible from the snow covering the tops. I bumped into a few when I wasn't paying attention. Say what you will, but you'd understand if you were in my position.
I was freezing, too. While it's true that I'm completely immune to extreme heat, the same can't be said for extreme cold. I could very well freeze my ass off, and I did not want to end up like the other guy. I slipped and skidded on frozen ponds, fell over a few times, froze my boogers, it wasn't a fun time for me. Note to self: remind Nidalee to pack warmer furs next time.
(She's looking over my shoulder now. Well, I'm sorry there weren't any warmer furs available, Nid, but for gods' sake, you're the Bestial Huntress! It can't be too hard to find a decent skin!
Joy. She's threatening to kick my ass now. While I would just love for you to do so, don't you have a date with Lee Sin in a few minutes? Don't wanna be late now, do you?
I don't think I've ever seen her run that fast. Score. Adding that little victory to the resumé, and FYI, I actually happen to have one. The League isn't going to last forever, and I'm gonna need to do something with my life if it happens in my lifetime. Back to my shitty situation!)
So, as you can see, I was having a pretty bad time. Me and my big mouth. Honestly, just get somebody to shoot me so I don't go and ruin everybody's day with my assumptions. Jhin would probably do it. He's into that kinda thing. We had to ban him from the drama club because every play he has a role in usually winds up with someone dead. It's unfortunate, but luckily we have magic revival thingies to prevent it from being permanent.
(Jayce is now making a protest to that label. I don't give a shit as to what they're called, Jayce, they still revive people! It won't be the end of the world if because of this account that future generations look at them in museums and they're called "magic revival thingies."
We seem to have differing opinions on that matter. Viktor just happens to be nearby, and now he's interested in what we're arguing about. This oughta be great. No, seriously, somebody get the popcorn. It's always a riot when those two go at each other.
Caitlyn's got me covered. Thank you! The things she hides in that hat of hers...to this day I swear that one time I saw a hamster crawl out of that thing when nobody else was looking.)
As I trudged, stumbled and flopped forward, I came across a gorge that was blocking my path. It was a long way down, from what I could see, far enough to kill me if I jumped. And of course the gorge was too wide for me to jump. Why couldn't anything ever be easy in my case?
"Because there's hardly ever anything in life that actually is." Rational-Me replied, answering my question. "You've almost always got to work for something if you want to get it."
And that's supposed to make me feel better...how? I asked, irritated. I would've expected something a little more helpful from you, O' Wise One.
"I'm thinking, just give me a minute." He (I?) snapped back. He was in rare form today. It looked like he was finally learning how to be sarcastic. "Hmm...maybe we could get a few trees to act as a bridge?"
I shook my head. Nah, that wouldn't work. I replied. Sure, I might be able to sear a few of them together, but I'd most likely be frozen solid by the time I was finished, and I'm not even sure if I could sear them together. I'm more likely to burn them to cinders.
"Alright then, what do you suggest?" Rational-Me asked, in a strange moment of a role-reversal. "I can't think of a reasonable solution to this."
Neither can I. I replied, before stopping my train of thought. Wait. That's it!
"I can already see what you're thinking, and don't. I'm sure we can-"
But don't you see? There is no reasonable solution. It's time for one of those, crazy, suicidal, completely insane ideas that always work! I said, bending my knees and getting myself into a ready position. And I know just how to solve this problem.
I ran forward at a full sprint (which was slightly difficult, given the snow), heading straight towards the gap in front of me..
This was gonna work.
This was gonna work.
"No, wait." Rational-Me protested, but by then it was too late. Using a burst of flame to propel myself upwards, I leapt, soaring across the edge of the gorge.
"HAHAHAHA, HELL YEAH!" I screamed, crossing the halfway point. "We're flying! WE'RE FLYING!"
"We...can't fly, you know that, right?" Rational-Me asked nervously. I began to see his point. We were rapidly losing altitude.
Well, it is good to have dreams, right? I asked.
"Dreams, yes. Delusions?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed as I plummeted, missing the other side of the gorge by only five feet.
The wind whistled in my ears as I fell, the ground rising up to meet me at an astounding rate.
This was it.
I was really going to die.
I'd never get to meet my entourage.
I'd never get to punch Selene in her rocky face.
I was just going to be...gone.
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NAH! XD
Oooh, sweet! I can make facial emotes with this thing? What else can I do?
:P
:D
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:O
:3
X3
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DX
;P
XP
(⌐■_■)
¯\_ツ_/¯
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⤜(ʘ_ʘ)⤏
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T-T
I'll stop now.
As you can probably guess, Lady Luck decided to take my side. She must have been taking a break from Twisted Fate.
I clenched my eyes shut just before the moment of impact, which was probably going to hurt. A lot.
But, instead of there being a sharp pain in my forehead and the world going black, nothing happened. For a brief moment I thought that I was already dead. Awfully nice of Kindred to give me the arrow at the last moment. However, when I opened my eyes, expecting to find the afterlife, what I found, as you can probably guess, was very different.
I was floating, my face just inches from the ground. I turned over in the air, positioning myself upright. What...? I was greatly confused. Had I just spontaneously developed the power to fly? Did that mean I could just generate random abilities whenever I felt like it? If so, could I get the power of spontaneously generating snacks? The same kind of meat day after day got old.
"Look." Rational-Me gestured to look at my surroundings. Rocks, sticks and various other small objects were swirling around me in elliptical orbits, kind of like electrons did around a nucleus (Jayce is letting out a gasp that I used a scientific term. Get over it, Jayce. I might not pay attention to everything that goes on in Runeterra, considering that not everything's worth my attention, but I still have my moments.) I instantly recognized the pattern, crazy as it was. No, it wasn't flying, or telekinesis. It was...
"...Gravity?" I asked no one in particular. "I can control gravity?" I laughed in disbelief. "Well, duh. That's what I get for being a star, I guess."
What did you expect? Gravity's a pretty cool power to have. It's actually better than telekinesis. You can alter gravity to the extent that you can walk on walls and ceilings, and you can also use it effectively in combat. Have I abused this ability once or twice. Nope.
...I've abused it at least two dozen times. But enough about those circumstances where I did, let's talk about what happened to me next!
I surged upward with a whoop, spreading my arms.
"WOOOHOOOOO!" I yelled as I ascended. "THIS. IS. AWESOME!"
As I soared over the edge of the gorge, it looked like I was going to be okay. For one blissful, content moment it looked like I was going to make it. I already knew where the Solari temple was; all I had to do now was fly there (or gravitate, whatever).
Of course, what happened in reality was nowhere close.
Because of all the times your new gravity powers could glitch and stop working, it would be at the least convenient time. Isn't that just swell?
"THIS IS NOT AWESOME!" I screamed as I fell. I was high enough for it to hurt when I hit the ground with a smack. On the bright side, the pain gave something akin to warmth, however briefly. Plus I was right at the foot of Mount Targon, so I could climb the rest of the way.
"Life, why do you hate me?" I groaned, spitting out snow. "I just want to have it easy for once, is that too much to-"
I stopped as I stood up.
And stared right into the face of a bear.
Because why the hell not, Nature? Why the hell not? It's not like I want to live or anything! Nooooo, I'm perfectly fine with being mauled to death!
It happened to be a full-grown grizzly, too. Just my luck. I always get the nasty ones. Claws twice as long as your fingers, big meaty paws, teeth that could rip your head off, the usual. At that moment, I cursed myself for making bears.
I was pretty fead up by that point. Honestly, didn't this bear have anything better to do? It couldn't come back when I was ready to kick its ass? So inconsiderate. I should've given bears proper etiquette when I made them.
The bear reared up, on it's hind legs. It spread its claws, bared its teeth, and let loose with a Runeterra-shattering roar, right in my face and effectively ruining my haircut in the process. Jerk. His breath smelled pretty bad, too. A diet based on fish will do that.
Considering all the problems I'd been having, all the setbacks I'd endured, all of the irritating little moments that had nearly driven me over the edge, I did the only logical thing I could think of.
I bitch-slapped the bear, completely poker-faced.
Hard.
"Bitch, do I look like I have time for your shit?" I demanded, sternly glaring at the bear, whose head had been forcefully moved to the side. At a pretty weird angle, too. Now that I thought about it, it kinda looked like...
The bear fell to the ground. Dead.
I stood there, stunned. It took me a few moments to come up with an appropriate response to what I'd just done, which I decided was-
"Holy. Shit." I gaped at what I'd just done. "Did I. Just bitch-slap. A bear. So hard. That its neck. Freaking snapped?"
"I...I have no words right now." Rational-Me said. "This has gotta be the manliest thing we've ever done."
"Hell yeah, man!" I exclaimed excitedly. "High-five!"
"No high-fives, I'm a voice in our head."
"Oh. Right." I sweat-dropped. "Hey, didn't you say that you'd get an eviction notice when I managed to do this sort of thing without even blinking?" I asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I did. I guess, uh...you don't really need me anymore. I guess I can go n-" There was something like a loud pop, and there was just silence afterwards.
Uh...hello? I thought. Anybody home? You know, besides me? I got no reply.
"Huh." I grunted. "That was kinda anticlimactic." I'd honestly been expecting something more than just an abrupt eviction from my mind. I didn't even get to bake Rational-Me goodbye cookies. Well, I say me, I really mean Pantheon. Seriously, one of the best days of my life was when I first tasted his chocolate-chip cookies. They are heavenly. But really, I was expecting a more dramatic exit on Rational-Me's part. I guess that at the very least I could just forget about it and move on. I was pretty relieved that no one would ever witness me talking to myself.
I elected to just shrug it off and roll with it. I looked up at Mount Targon, freezing cold. And without the ability to float. Yay.
"Almost there..." I murmured. "Just a little longer."
"Damn, it's cold!" I swore as I climbed up the mountainside. And I mean hella-cold. It was so cold that I could barely feel my everything. And I do mean everything.
I was about halfway up the mountain, from what I could see. I was scaling up the whole thing, feeling extremely grateful for Nidalee's climbing lessons. I would send her a thank-you card if I managed to survive. I was really tired. The wind kept battering at me, almost throwing me off every time. The only reason why I hadn't plummeted to my death yet was because of my enhanced strength. Seriously, this blizzard was akin to one of Janna's tornadoes times ten. I was kind of amazed that I'd even made it this far. Most people died barely a quarter of the way up.
My hands were quivering from the cold, the skin beginning to turn a pale shade of blue. Great. I was starting to acquire frostbite. The snowflakes whipping around were already getting in my eyes, so I could barely find handholds. This was just another fantastic turn of events to add to the pile. Lovely.
The wind howled as I climbed, causing my cloak to flap around wildly and nearly jerk me off the wall. I would've taken it off, but, y'know, I was freezing my ass off.
I really needed to find a way to get warm somehow, or frostbite would just cause my hands to snap off. Then I'd die. And dying hurt.
A lightbulb flashed over my head as I came up with an idea. Freeing one hand from the cliff (which resulted in me almost falling off), I lit my hand on fire. The flames would be enough to get my hand back up to an acceptable temperature, allowing me to keep climbing.
At least, I thought that's what would happen. In reality, nothing happened. Nothing at all. I didn't feel even the slightest change in warmth.
"What?" I looked at my free hand. "Well, come on, warm up already!" I shouted. "Come on! I'm dying up here!"
Nothing. I tried the other hand, but there still wasn't any change.
Why isn't it- I stopped as I realized the problem. I began to chuckle in disbelief, before the sound evolved into a full-blown laugh, echoing across the mountain. What had I realized?
I was immune to extreme heat.
Fire couldn't warm me up in any way. It was hot, sure, but it was too hot, hot enough for my body to go "Nuh-uh! I ain't letting this thing hurt me!" I could only get warm gradually, at a temperature that wasn't threatening to a regular person.
"Just my luck." I shook my head, still chuckling after cooling down. I was a little delirious, but that's what happens when you're stuck in a situation like this. Of all the times to ditch Rational-Me...
"JUST MY GODDAMN LUCK!" I screamed up at the sky, my tone suddenly furious. My hair exploded into a massive bonfire, lighting up the area for miles around.
"WITH THE LUCK I'VE BEEN HAVING, I MIGHT AS WELL JUST GIVE UP NOW, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SELENE?!" I continued. "I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AND DIE, IS THAT IT?!"
Yeah, I was pissed. I hadn't been this angry in years. Even my previous outburst at Selene when I started writing this thing wasn't as vocal as this one. I was done. Just done.
"FOR BILLIONS OF YEARS I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH YOU!" I screamed. "YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! FOR A LONG TIME I DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK YOU WERE AS CRUEL AS YOU LOOKED! I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY SUCH A BAD PERSON! BUT WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME, WITH ALL THE NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES AND AGONY, CLEARLY I WAS WRONG! YOU'VE MADE ME SUFFER FOR EVERY SINGLE STEP OF THE WAY, AND I'VE HAD IT! I'M DONE WITH DEALING WITH YOUR BULLSHIT! YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT A PAIN IN THE ASS EVER SINCE WE MET, AND FOR ALL THOSE YEARS OF BARELY MANAGING TO TOLERATE IT, I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT! NOTHING AT ALL!"
I screamed at the top of my lungs, before suddenly tearing up the mountain with an almost godlike fervor. My anger fueled me with an unnatural amount of energy, my hair actually spitting out bursts of flame as I climbed.
I climbed at that speed for a few minutes, before my anger gave out and I collapsed against the mountainside, panting heavily.
"Just...why..." I whispered. "Why do you treat me like this? What did I do to deserve this?"
I was pretty banged up emotionally. Can you blame me? I'd been through a lot, and at that point it looked like I was actually going to die. There'd be no new abilities to save me, no allies close by, no shelter to rest in.
Emotionally, I was exhausted. Physically, I'd pretty much been broken. I was freezing, exhausted, and just about done with life.
My thoughts turned sluggish, my vision becoming blurry. I couldn't see, couldn't think, and most of all, I couldn't hold on.
Finger by finger, my hand slowly lost its grip. I leaned backwards, one arm stretched outwards as I began to topple down.
A hand grabbed my wrist, and my eyes caught a soft golden glow before I lost consciousness.
I'd been wondering when my old habit would resurface.
That's it for this chapter. You can probably guess who just saved Helios' ass. I feel like this was kind of a filler chapter, because nothing major really happened, unless you count that part with the gravity-thing and the bear. Gravity-manipulation feels like a proper power, to be honest. A lot of Helios' new abilities that he'll acquire will focus on aspects of stars that don't revolve around fire. Plus, I just HAD to make Helios do something manly,and there's nothing manlier that killing a bear by bitch-slapping it. Next chapter will have Leona freaking out, Helios getting mountains of free food, and depending on where I go with the chapter, Aurelion Sol getting scolded. Once again, apologies for those of you who were expecting a new chapter for my other story, and I hope you can understand. Until next time!
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