AN: The quote this chapter is: "One day she would allow herself to be less than strong. But not today. It could not be today." Not mine, it's from ASOIAF and GRRM.
It's enough to make her want to stay in bed, Alaric is dead because of her. Jenna is dead because of her. Isobel, John, her parents, it's too much. It threatens to pull her down, into a messy web of throughts and grief. She doesn't let it. It's so tempting to give into, right she gets up, she doesn't let herself be weak. Heightened emotions needed suppressing for the day. She has to assure people she's fine. There would be a day where she'd let herself cry and feel everything, but it won't be for a while. Because she knows she'll break, and she can't afford that right now. If she falls apart, lets it happen, then she won't be able to pick herself up for a while and that's unacceptable. She has to be strong.
One day she'd let herself break and stop being strong or maybe she's just pretending to, she can't even tell anymore-but it won't be for a while. Strong, she thinks, as she faces the world. I have to be strong.