Chapter 10: A Chance

As Nick walked out of the office towards the brew room, he saw Jamie getting a head start on the next batch of beer. Jamie had a good deal of the sanitizing completed. Nick joined in the preparation by gathering up the needed ingredients for today's brew day. Accumulating them on the workstation, he double-checked Tony's list to make certain everything was in order. As Jamie finished up with all the utensils, he made his way over to where Nick was standing.

"We got everything we need for today?"

"Yeah, I think it is all here," Nick replied matter-of-factly to Jamie's inquiry.

Nick's recent demeanor had not gone unnoticed by Jamie. The entire Miller family would constantly remind him of his lack of book smarts, but he could read his brother better than most. What most people would mistake for typical Nick Miller irritability was evident to Jamie as something rooted deeper. He noticed it shortly after Thanksgiving, but didn't pry back then. He figured back then he could wait for the source to eventually bubble to the surface, but he was tiring of waiting mostly because Nick's attitude was growing thin on Jamie.

"Can I ask you a simple question, Nick?"

"Sure Jamie."

"Are you happy here?"

"Yeah, of course, why do you ask?"

"I don't know, for a while now, it seems you are a million miles away. Like something really important is eating away at you and you are just trying to run from it."

Nick placed his hands at the edge of the workbench. He hadn't spoken to anybody about his encounter with Jess, the interrupted confession, none of it. Instead, every night he would go home and try to suppress all the emotions that would torment him, sometimes with the aid of countless brown bottles. None of it was helping. Hell, maybe talking to his brother couldn't hurt.

"You remember my old roommate Jess?"

"Jess…"

"Dark hair, blue eyes, glasses, short…"

"No, nothing."

"She was Elvis at our Dad's funeral…"

"Oh yeah! Glasses Face! So you were banging her!"

Shaking his head at his brother and immediately regretting his decision to bring anything up, he plodded on.

"No, I wasn't. I mean, yeah I find her attractive. But it was more than that. Anyway, I recently tried to open up to her about how I felt about her. You know, tell her how I 'feel'. Instead, she kind of shut me down."

"So you wanted to bang her but she didn't want to bang you?"

"Jamie, would you just shut up about banging?" Nick tried to steady himself before continuing. "Well, it turns out I was too late, she was already engaged to her handsome doctor boyfriend, who also happens to be amazing in bed."

"How do you know that last part?"

"She told me damn near everything when we lived together, ok!"

Nick's anger was getting the best of him again. He knew Jamie was not the source of his problems, not even remotely. He just had a way of getting under his skin. Taking a few deep breaths, he continued with the story of his plight.

"Jess came by here a few months back. We talked, it was…weird. Not completely awkward but nothing like how we used to talk. Before she left, she hand-delivered my invitation to her wedding."

"Ok. So are you going?"

"No. I sent the RSVP card with 'No' boxed checked and everything."

Jamie took a minute to process what his brother had unloaded on him. It was clear from his body language that this was something that was deeply bothering him. His shoulders were tensed and his fists balled up, all just from talking about it for a few brief moments. Jamie wanted to show Nick how much he understood how tough anything emotional could be for a Miller.

"So you cared for this woman, so much that you had feelings that went deeper than banging, and you aren't going to go to her wedding? Did she ever lead you on or do something to truly hurt you like that bitch Caroline did?"

Nick didn't make eye contact and didn't respond verbally. Jamie took this as his cue to finish his point.

"I mean she lives in LA, you live here. If you just recently told her how you truly feel, she would have been moving on, living her own life. If this woman is as cool as you say she is, and it didn't work out simply because of timing, you can't hold that against her. I know we both got burned multiple times by someone who was supposed to always be there for us. Believe me, I get why you take betrayal so hard and aren't quick to trust people."

At the mention of Walt, Nick looked again at his brother. It always caught Nick off guard when Jamie would talk so frankly about their troubled relationship with their late father.

"I know it's hard for you to forgive people, but not everybody is dad. Some people deserve true forgiveness. You have to believe me Nick. You think it's always easy for me and Deann? There is always work, always give and take. I know it's worth it, because I've always known what I wanted from her. Maybe it just takes you a little longer to sort out what you want."

Nick took Jamie's words in. It never ceased to amaze him. One minute Jamie could be acting like the biggest buffoon. The next he would be doling out sage advice. It only bothered Nick when he couldn't differentiate between the two.

"Besides, if your feelings for her go deep…enough…you won't want to burn that bridge. Who knows, you might even still be standing on that bridge and you don't even know it."

"What are you playing at Jamie? Are you saying I should…"

"Look, I'm not saying you should bust down the doors of the church and yell 'I OBJECT' mid-ceremony, or whatever fancy lawyer-speak you would use. What I am saying is, as long as you both aren't six feet under and pushing up daisies, there is always a chance."

Nick stood dumbfounded by his brother's words. The thought of there always being a chance was something that seemed foreign to Nick. In his current mood, he couldn't afford the thought of holding out hope. He pictured himself sitting at a ceremony, watching Jess walk down an aisle to that overgrown frat-boy, and couldn't think of why he would put himself through it. On the other hand, maybe he could go to LA. Maybe he could go and see all of his old friends and have a good time. Maybe he could avoid a meltdown in a photo booth. Maybe he could do one more favor for her that would, in her words, mean a lot to her. Maybe.

Maybe Jamie wasn't as dumb as Nick thought he was.

There was always a chance.