Nicole's A/N: So sorry for another delay. The good news is, there are three chapters in the bank now, and only around seven left to write ... which means we're around the half-way point with the story! In the meantime, enjoy some Christmas goodness in August. :)

Chapter 10

The snow stopped falling in Seattle around ten a.m. on Christmas Day. Meredith, Amelia, and most of the hospital staff were trapped inside the fine walls of Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. The ER, of course, had been swamped with emergency after emergency. Meredith felt awful about her kids being trapped in daycare on Christmas Day with their father on the other side of the country.

Derek hadn't even had the balls to call her himself to let her know his flight was cancelled. She'd found out from Callie. Meredith didn't know why in the world Derek had called Callie of all people, but she was pretty furious about it. At least she and Derek weren't fighting on Christmas. Maybe that was what Derek wanted to avoid.

She'd spent most of Christmas Day in the OR, fixing nasty holiday injuries. The number of emergency surgeries always increased around the holidays, but the influx of patients had more than quadrupled with this wicked blizzard. However, the biggest surprise arrived when she and Amelia were both paged to the front of the hospital at noon.

A white Cayenne was parked in front of the hospital, and it had a huge double-looped bow on its hood. Meredith didn't know much about cars, but she was pretty sure the car was the same year as her husband's. A card in a red envelope that said Amelia was tucked under the windshield wipers. Amelia ripped open the card and a silver key fell to the ground.

Amelia read aloud as she picked the key off the ground, "Merry Christmas! Love, Derek PS: Tell Meredith to check inside, and don't forget to look in the trunk."

Meredith rolled her eyes. Of course this was Derek's doing. She saw Amelia's eyes expanding.

"He got me car? This is a joke, right?" Amelia gasped, stunned. Meredith didn't know know what to say to her sister-in-law, but she knew for a fact that Amelia was in dire need of her own transportation, since Derek was adamantly against her driving his car, even with him in DC. His car was sitting in long-term parking at the airport. Meredith didn't blame him for not wanting Amelia's hands on his precious Porsche. Amelia was bound to destroy it.

Meredith was just glad that Amelia wouldn't need to constantly carpool with her anymore.

She wondered what the hell Derek had gotten her. Whatever it was, she hoped it was something returnable, because she was not accepting an expensive pity present from her husband.

When Meredith looked in the window, her heart fell into her stomach. The car was filled with Christmas presents. Amelia unlocked the car and opened the door, and a small box fell on the ground.

"To Bailey, from Daddy," Amelia read out loud, scanning all the presents. "They're all addressed to the kids. Open the trunk. That must be where yours is, Mer."

Meredith's blood boiled. It was one thing to return whatever Derek got her, but to return all the kids' presents seemed cruel. They'd had a low-key Christmas at the hospital. The daycare staff had scurried to put together presents for the kids trapped at the hospital in the wake of the storm. The hospital gift shop had come in handy. The kids hadn't even received Meredith's Christmas presents, which were stored in her bedroom closet at home. She hadn't even had time to wrap them.

And here Derek was outdoing her all the way from DC.

Meredith cringed. She would never win against her McPerfect husband. Sometimes she hated him, but she was pretty certain she couldn't hate him at this level if she hadn't loved him first. Love was messy. It was the messiest experience she'd ever gone through. Life was much simpler back when she was screwing a different guy every night. Then again, she hadn't screwed anything other than her showerhead in over a month and a half.

"What's in the trunk?" Amelia asked as Callie Torres and Miranda Bailey appeared, both with wide eyes.

"Santa Claus is a little late." Callie laughed.

"Santa Shepherd, you mean?" Meredith snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Wow, Derek really went all out, didn't he?" Dr. Bailey beamed.

"Anyway, what is in the trunk?" Callie pressed. Meredith figured Callie must have overheard Amelia. Meredith had decided that she didn't want to know what it was, because she knew she would have to return it, so it didn't matter what was there. She might not be able to return the children's presents, but she had the freewill not to accept an expensive, extravagant bribe from her husband.

"Yeah, check the trunk!" Amelia urged.

Meredith rolled her eyes again. "Fine," she relented as Amelia opened the trunk with her shiny, new automatic keys. Dr. Bailey and Callie stood on opposite sides of her and lifted the trunk all the way up.

Meredith looked inside, expecting to see a big, extravagant box of some kind—a Derek-y present—only to find a white envelope. With her name in it. What, had he sent her a card and cash so she could buy what she wanted? She might not be so mad at him, then, because cash was easy to send via snail mail. Or she could just transfer the money directly to his bank account, since she had his account information. They had opted to keep separate banking accounts, but they had each other's account information in case of emergencies.

She took the envelope and ripped it open, expecting a check or green bills to fall out, but she quickly saw there was no money in the envelope. There was just a handwritten note that looked like it had been photocopied. Faxed, perhaps? But to whom?
Meredith read the text on the piece of paper, which only confused her even more:

To find your gift you have to hunt,
But Owen is not the one with the treasure, I'll be blunt.
Look for the person who caught us in a car.
But beware! We were nowhere near a bar.

"Well, what's it say?!" Callie and Amelia shrieked in unison.

Meredith sighed, rolling her eyes again. "I don't know, apparently Derek is playing some stupid game of hide-and-seek, and this note was totally scanned, so which one of you is helping him?"

She stared at the three women surrounding her. Goosebumps crawled up her arms. Meredith shivered, realizing she should have put on a coat during this snowy, frigid weather. She hadn't planned on being outside this long. She'd thought she was being paged because someone was sick and needed her help, not to play some silly game orchestrated by her husband and partners in crime. She was never going to let him live this one down.

"Well, what's it say?" Dr. Bailey now asked, and it dawned on her.

Look for the person who caught us in a car.

Dr. Bailey had caught her and Derek in his car in her driveway. "It's you," Meredith said, glaring at Dr. Bailey. "You're the one who caught us in a car."

"That was fast. I'm impressed," Dr. Bailey responded with a smile, fiddling in her jacket. She had planned ahead. Meredith cringed. She could not believe that Dr. Bailey would play along with such a childish game! "Here's the second clue." Dr. Bailey handed her another envelope, identical to the first.

A pager shrieked, and Bailey, Amelia, Callie, and Meredith all checked to see if it were theirs.

"It's mine. Have fun! Derek worked hard on this," Dr. Bailey said, winking before she left.

"So are you two my scavenger hunt cheerleaders?" Meredith turned to Callie and Amelia

Amelia shrugged. "I didn't know anything about this. I swear. Derek doesn't tell me anything, you know."

Callie sighed. "Okay, he faxed the letters to me. Please, just try to have fun. Derek worked really hard on this. He wanted to be here to be your cheerleader himself. He was really bummed he couldn't."

Meredith sighed. "He's working really hard for the president if has time to plan games, isn't he?" She rolled her eyes once again. "Well, let's do this." She tore open the second envelope.

When he was little, Derek wondered why his mother always woke up so early on Christmas Day when the night before Midnight Mass ended so late. When he became an adult, he figured that all that food didn't cook by itself and someone had to make it.

Also, while he guessed there wouldn't be any presents for him under the tree, the children were expecting this moment eagerly, and his mother wanted to witness that. They waited all year to open Santa's presents, and this time around, he didn't mind being awake himself.

He made Amy and Caden's day when they opened his presents, just like all his other nieces and nephews. Amy had bought Caden a small gift with her money, but Derek had figured the kids wouldn't have any presents, so he wanted to make that right. He was glad his mother always had spare toys laying around, so he could wrap a set of Hot Wheels for Caden. Finding a gift for Amy had been slightly more complicated, but he had been proactive on his way to New York and found a bookstore, to buy her a copy of The Sun Also Rises. He remembered how the paperback took his mind off all his problems during a particularly tough semester of college, and he hoped Hemingway could do the trick for her too.

Of course his sisters kept looking at them funnily, but he didn't care. They had "From Santa" on it, after all.

So far, Christmas Day had been the same day he always remembered it to be, only Amy and Caden brightening it even more. For a moment, he wondered what it would have been like to have Meredith and the children here too, but he dismissed the thought quickly. It wouldn't do him any good to wonder about that.

Amy stared at all the people around her, near the Christmas tree, in that huge living room, and she wondered how in the world she ended up there.

She caressed the cover of the book Derek gave her absentmindedly, staring at the loud family around her. She had fun playing with all the little kids the day before, and they all seemed to like her. Amy had found it almost harder to relate to the various people her age in the Shepherd family. She knew it was easier for her to get along with kids either way.

While the younger members of the family seemed to welcome her with open arms, Derek's sisters seemed still curious about her presence there, throwing her glances once in a while, especially when both her name and Caden's had come up in the traditional round of gift-giving.

She had been stunned by the large number of presents under the tree. Usually, under their tree back home there were a dozen presents at the mosts, but usually less. It's not that they didn't indulge during Christmastime, but they were only four people. The Shepherds were a herd.

Amy was still stunned by the sheer amount of noise all these people crammed together could produce, but nobody seemed affected. Not even Derek, who had admitted he hadn't been home recently. She guessed he had lived his entire life here, so the noise had always been a constant. Children were talking over each other, the sisters and their husbands were constantly helping one kid or the other with a box or certain parts that had to be assembled; the only one who looked even remotely calm was Carolyn, who sat on her armchair sipping her coffee, a small smile on her face.

"You know, the gift exchange is not even the worst part," Derek told her, moving closer to her to be heard over the hum of the room. "Lunch gets even noisier. It's usually when the fighting starts." He chuckled, and a smile appeared on his lips as well.

"I'm not used to having all these people around," Amy admitted, winning another smile from Derek.

"I don't know if Christmas in Seattle would have been any quieter. Sure, there aren't as many kids, but adults can be worse than children. Especially when there's too much eggnog going around."

Amy giggled, trying to imagine serious Derek a bit intoxicated, joking around with his friends. She had a hard time imagining Derek with friends in the first place, but she could see how he was loosening up the more time he spent with his family. He was still a mystery to her, though Amy liked mysteries.

"Amy, can I get more juice?" Caden came closer to her, asking with his pleading brown eyes, and he made her giggle.

"I'm getting you some right away."

Caden thanked her, and Amy saw Carolyn stand up from her armchair.

"Come on, I'll show you where it is," the older woman said, leaving Amy slightly puzzled. Of course she knew where the fridge was. Or did they have a special juice fridge? Or maybe they finished the latest jug and they had to open a new one?

She followed Carolyn to the kitchen, where she opened the fridge and took out the apple juice. Okay, that was a fishy move. Was the kitchen the place where Carolyn did her super-secret talks? Maybe she was uninviting her from Christmas lunch and kicking her and Caden out in the snow?

"Are you having a good Christmas?" Carolyn asked in her grandmotherly voice, instead. Unless she was trying to give her a strange sense of security, before kicking her out?

"Yes. Definitely better than what I pictured a week ago, to be honest."

"Derek told me about what happened. I'm the only one who knows, don't worry."

Part of her knew that Derek had to tell someone, but Carolyn seemed suddenly a lot less intimidating. "It's fine."

"I can relate with your mother, you know? I lost my husband too." Carolyn's face didn't change, but her voice was lower, more reserved, the one used for secrets and secret ploys. "I can tell her what helped me. I can be someone who understands. When I lost my husband I felt so alone. I was so young, and it happened so suddenly, I felt like nobody could understand. I know what that feels like."

Amy's heart clenched for her mother, because that's exactly what was happening. Her mother's only companion was the bottle, these days. People had been quick to come and go after the wake and the funeral. Now it was just the three of them, and even if she didn't like drinking herself into oblivion, sometimes Amy thought that was the only option left.

"What are you suggesting?"

"I can come home with you, if you want, and talk to her. Tell her my experience, how I coped, how I moved on."

"I'm not even sure if she'll be home when we go back," Amy admitted, slightly comforted by the idea that she'd have Carolyn and Derek by her side when she came home.

"Doesn't hurt to try, right?" The older woman's smile was so soft and motherly Amy gave in.

"Okay."

"Alright," Carolyn smiled. "Go, enjoy the rest of Christmas, I have work to do in here." She playfully shoved Amy back into the living room, making Amy smile all the way back to her seat on the carpet.

It felt good to pretend they were her family for a few hours more. And to indulge in a delicious home-cooked meal.

Start the journey where it all began
when you were just a girl in a bar.
We had no idea we will get this far,
not even when I gave you a kidney in a jar.

"Joe's," Meredith said immediately after reading the riddle without putting much thought into it. She had met Derek in a bar, when she'd told him she was just a girl in a bar. He'd also given her a kidney in a jar there after she'd had a lousy day at work and they'd had a big fight about something she couldn't recall. It was his way of apologizing; Derek always had cheesy apologies. She had a feeling this, whatever he'd gotten her for Christmas, was one of them.

Amelia snatched the envelope and paper from Meredith's hand as the three women trailed across the street to Joe's Bar. It was then that Meredith realized Callie was the only one wearing a jacket, which meant, most likely, that Amelia truly wasn't in on Derek's scheme.

"He gave you a kidney in a jar?" Amelia snorted. "Wait, that's where the kidney jar lamp in Zola's room came from?"

"It's a long story," Meredith said, crossing her arms to savor whatever body heat she had left. Surely Derek realized that Christmas was in December and Christmas in Seattle was cold, right? True, it wasn't usually this cold in Seattle on Christmas, and there usually weren't several feet of snow on the ground. Nonetheless, Meredith hoped Derek's game wasn't going to send her stomping around the whole city in this mountain of whiteness. If his plan was to make her freeze to death, she wasn't going to be very happy, no matter how amazing the gift was that he'd gotten her.

Judging by the shiny new car he'd gotten for Amelia and the piles of presents for the kids, Meredith was horrified to see what he'd gotten her. The keys to Emerald City Bar? After all, Joe was hardly around anymore. Whatever he'd gotten her, she was determined not to like it. Derek was not going to buy her love; she wouldn't allow for that to happen no matter how hard he tried.

"I'm a Shepherd. I love long stories," Amelia teased.

"Well, maybe some other time. We don't have time for that right now. We have to play Derek's stupid game now, don't we?" Meredith said.

"Technically, you don't have to play." Callie shrugged.

"True, you don't." Amelia nodded.

"But Derek would kill me if you didn't, so for my sake, let's keep playing," Callie added.

"Because it's all about you," Meredith muttered under her breath.

"What?" Callie asked.

"Nothing," Meredith responded, reaching for the doorknob to Emerald City Bar. "If we're gonna do this, let's do this now. It's now or never."

They were met by a face Meredith hadn't seen in a long time. "Long time no see!" Joe greeted them from behind the bar counter.

Meredith wondered if he, too, was in cahoots with her husband. Secretly, she wanted to hate him for playing along with Derek's games, but that meant she had to hate Callie and Bailey too. Hating all those people took a lot of energy.

She didn't have the energy to hate them all, so she was just going to have to let it go and play the stupid game.

"I hear you have a riddle for me," Meredith said.

"A what?" Joe asked. "Oh, you mean this?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a white envelope, identical to the one in the car and the one Bailey had given Meredith.

"Yeah, that." Meredith sighed, taking it from Joe and ripping it open without a second's hesitation.

Katie was a girl falling during rhythmic gymnastics,
with her diagnosis you were fantastic.
Go to the place where it's always a beautiful day to save lives,
where we put on scrub caps and play with knives.
Be careful, pick the right one,
or this quest will be done.

"You've got to be freaking kidding me," Meredith groaned. She was supposed to remember the exact operating room that she had watched Derek slice into their first patient's brain. She was floored that Derek himself was even capable of remembering that. He couldn't even remember to tell her when he had asked Callie and Arizona to take the kids home on a night they had both been working late; she'd had a panic attack trying to figure out where the hell her kids were.

"What?" Callie and Amelia asked at the same time.

"I'm supposed to remember which OR Derek and I operated on our first patient together," Meredith enlightened them.

"Okay, well that should be easy. Was there a gallery?" Amelia asked.

She had no idea.

"I don't know," Meredith said. Then she remembered something vital. "The nurses' station … it was the one closest to the nurses' station!"

Meredith guided Callie and Amelia across the parking lot and up the stairs—she hadn't bothered waiting for the elevator. She was on a mission, and she was determined to complete it sooner rather than later. Unlike Derek, she didn't have time for games. She had work that needed to be done, and she still hadn't seen her children on Christmas Day. At this point, she felt just like her mother, and it wasn't a good feeling. But she knew there wasn't anything she could do about it, especially when her husband wanted to play stupid games.

She would make it up to Zola and Bailey. She had to make it up to them.

Owen and April were operating in the OR. Cringing, Meredith wondered if they, too, were in on Derek's scheme. They looked clueless, though, when she opened the door. "Dr. Grey, can we help you?" Owen asked.

"Is there a white envelope in this OR somewhere?" Meredith asked.

Owen and April shared a confused look. Everyone's eyes wandered around the room, until April's eyes froze on the utensil table. "Is that what you're looking for?" she asked. One of the scrub nurses took the envelope and handed it to Meredith.

Meredith's cheeks warmed. "Thank you," she said hoarsely and quickly removed herself from the OR. "I hope this letter is sanitary," Meredith shot at Callie.

"The envelopes were in a brand-new package, and I made sure to scrub before I touched that one," Callie said.

Meredith sighed and tore the envelope open.

There was a prom and you in a dress,
and both of us couldn't withstand the stress.
We found a room, but not for an exam;
panties on the bulletin board were not part of the plan.

Her cheeks flushed as her eyes landed on Callie again. Now, she supposed, Derek expected her to remember the exact exam room they had hooked up in at prom when Callie had caught them together.

"Do you remember?" Meredith asked Callie.

"Remember what?" Callie shrugged, acting clueless. The last thing Meredith wanted was to explain to Amelia the significance of this note.

And it just so happened she did remember the exact exam room. She rushed toward the stairwell.
"Where are we going?" Amelia asked. "What'd the letter say?"

"Just … hush. Don't you have somewhere else to be? You're not really helping," Meredith snapped.

"Hey, I just want to be here to mock my cheesy brother," Amelia retorted.

"Exactly my point." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Look, if you don't want me here, I can go," Amelia said.

Meredith sighed loudly. "I … I don't know," she said. "I just want this to be over, so if you're going to tag along, then fine, but keep your comments to yourself."

"You didn't tell me what the letter said, so how could I comment on it?!" Amelia threw back.

"I don't have time to explain everything to you, Amelia," Meredith said harshly, "and let's just say there are some things you're better off not knowing." She concluded her statement as they arrived at the exam room in question, which fortunately was not in use.

Amelia's eyes widened as she quickly shared a look with Callie, who raised her eyebrows up and down. "Oh …" Amelia mumbled. "Oh!"

Meredith tuned her sister-in-law out as she scoped the room for another envelope. She just hoped that this would be the last one.

Her eye almost skipped over the white blend of the envelope and table paper. Meredith hastily grabbed the envelope and ripped it open.

Stupid hormones were a lot of fun
I bet Ross was glad you didn't have a gun.
Go to the room where doctors should sleep,
but where managing sexy times is never a feat.

"Jeez, you can really tell where Derek's mind was when he was writing these riddles," Meredith groaned.

"Another sexy place?" Amelia snorted. Callie nudged Amelia while Meredith glared at her sister-in-law before leading them to the on-call room on the first floor, which was also empty. The first floor on-call rooms were used the least, since they were farthest from the patients, which was one reason she and Derek had always made use of them the most.

The envelope was tucked under a pillow.

I didn't get down on one knee
when I asked you to marry me.
I didn't have a question back then, but I have one now,
what's our favorite box that goes up and down?
Come on, keep searching, lose that frown.

How did he know she was frowning? Her egohead husband thought he knew everything about her. She scowled. "To the elevators," she sighed.

"Wait, you did it in the elevator?! That must have been one quick quickie," Amelia gasped.

"No!" Meredith rolled her eyes. "He proposed to me in the elevator."

"Oh!" Amelia gasped. "Um … uh. Yeah, I'll just shut up now."

"Please do," Meredith mumbled as she pushed the up button and waited for the correct elevator to open.

She read this one out loud:

"I was so happy and proud when you made a fork,
but everybody thought you were just a dork.
Go to the place where you completed your work,
My gift to you will be for more than just stabbing pork."

"You made a fork?" Amelia asked. A rush of emotions hit Meredith at once. Derek was the only person who supported her when she printed that damn fork with her 3D printer.

"It was the first object I printed with my 3D printer," Meredith whispered. "Everyone laughed … Derek didn't, but deep down I know he thought I was pathetic just like everyone else." Look at him now, Meredith thought to herself. "Whatever he got is in my lab. It's been in my lab all along, hasn't it, Callie?"

Callie shrugged.

"You could have just told me that in the beginning. Would have saved me a hell of a lot of time," Meredith sighed.

"Oh, come on, you have to admit this has been fun. I know Derek had fun writing it all. He really wanted to be here with you. He would have, you know, if he could have been," Callie said warmly.

"Well, he couldn't even call me and tell me that," Meredith said. "I had to hear his flight was cancelled from you, so he must not have wanted to be here with me too bad. I still haven't talked to him, and it's Christmas." Meredith glanced at her phone, just to make sure he hadn't called. She'd been glancing at her phone on and off all day, waiting for his call, but it never came. She didn't think she should have to be the one to call him, since she wasn't the one not here.

"He was probably scared of your reaction," Callie said. "He really doesn't want to fight with you, you know. He doesn't want to fight with either of you." Callie directed her gaze to Amelia.

"Well, he makes that kind of hard when he's an ass and then he throws it in our faces that he's better than us. Buying fancy gifts isn't going to fix anything." Amelia rolled her eyes.

"For what it's worth, he's lucky he's not here," Meredith snickered. "It's harder for us to kill him when he's on the other side of the country."

"Hey, at least we can agree on something there," Amelia said, holding out her hand for Meredith to give her a high-five, but Meredith refrained.

Meredith shook her head. "Look, if you don't mind, I'd like to see what it is on my own. I'm sure Callie already knows what it is."

"And I'm sure I'll hear what it is later. I should probably go move my new car." Amelia sighed. "Why did Derek have to get me a white car? I hate white cars! Doesn't he know that? They get dirty so easy."

"A car's a car." Meredith winked.

"Yeah, yeah." Amelia sighed, and she stormed away.

Callie glanced at her watch. "I really should see my daughter. It is Christmas, after all. Merry Christmas, Mer."

It sure didn't feel merry. Or like Christmas, period. Then again, Meredith's Christmases were historically unmerry.

Meredith just frowned in reply. Now all alone, she headed toward her research lab.

As Derek had anticipated, Christmas lunch turned out to be utter chaos, though the way the trays and plates and pots with food moved around the table resembled a dance, not the mayhem that was the meal.

The kids sat at one end of the table, the adults on the other, and those who weren't either like herself sat in the middle. Amy was glad Derek was sitting next to her, though. It still felt a bit daunting to intrude in this family's Christmas traditions. Yet, Caden didn't seem to mind that at all.

"I see Derek is trying to convert you to his deranged literary ways with his present?" Lizzie interjected, surprising Amy a bit.

For the entire length of first course she had listened to all the chatters around her, hardly even adding her own two cents, but now she was actively involved in the conversation, and it took her aback.

"He's a dorky Hemingway fan," Kathleen added, her own smirk on her face, as Derek groaned next to her.

"Yup. He had an entire shelf dedicated to Hemingway in his room." Nancy is the last one to jab. "It was like a shrine."

All the sisters laughed as Derek mumbled "It was not."

"I still have all your books here," Carolyn said, addressing Derek.

"Really?" He smiled, actually surprised by the revelation. "I thought they were lost somewhere in a box after I moved to Seattle. I'm glad they're here."

"Seriously, though, Derek, maybe the girl likes good literature?" Nancy poked him again, and she had to smile back.

"I happen to like Hemingway," she confessed, turning to Derek with a gentle smile. "I haven't read much from him, but I liked what I read. I'm not one for mainstream books."

"Oh, I know why you took her under your wing, now. Are you grooming her to replace you in the OR, too?"

Derek chuckles. "Of course not. I have my adepts." He smirked. "Though I would be happy to teach her one day."

"There's a long way to that." She sighed; sometimes the reality of how long it really took to become a doctor made her throw the towel before she even started. Though that was definitely a quitter move, and she wasn't a quitter. She hated quitters.

"Are you implying that he won't be able to teach you because he'll be retired soon? Because that's definitely a possibility," Lizzie taunted, winning an eye-roll from a good portion of the adult table.

"I have to admit I can see some gray in the oh-so-precious hair," Nancy mused. Amy figured she was the one who liked to tease Derek the most, considering how much he groaned and complained whenever she did. "McDreamy, wasn't it?"

"Oh, God. How do you even know that stupid nickname?"

Amy giggled at Derek's embarrassment. It kinda fit. She wondered who gave him the moniker, because they hit the nail right on the head with that. Derek had a lot of dreamy qualities in him when he wanted to. Probably a prince charming complex, on top of that as well. The nickname fit.

"Meredith told you, right? She was ranting and she called me McDreamy, so all of you now know that?"

Amy's eyes widened. That was how Meredith mocked Derek? Maybe she should have given the woman a bit more credit.

"Actually, I remember the name floating around when I came visiting. Addison confirmed it was you." Nancy finished, winning eye rolls again. Amy guessed this Addison wasn't someone they particularly liked.

"I heard it too when I was recovering there." Lizzie gave in. "And no, it wasn't Meredith. Though I can hear her pissed off voice calling you that."

Derek groaned loudly, though his eyes seemed to gain a certain sparkle back as soon as Meredith's name was mentioned. Lately, whenever he brought her up, her name had made his eyes darken, but not in this circumstance. Derek's eyes were brighter than the sparkly lights on their huge Christmas tree.

Amy wondered how Derek and Meredith could fit together, to be honest. They seemed polar opposites, in almost everything, and yet, Derek looked like a teenager whenever he talked about her qualities or how much he loved her. Maybe they were good together, she had no idea, considering that they were fighting when she showed up. And while the curiosity of seeing them together was big, she figured she'd never know for sure, since she had no intention of willingly seeing Meredith again.

It was right in front of her, but she couldn't bring herself to open it. The box, wrapped with red-Christmas themed paper and a white bow on top, was ginormous. It was gorgeous to look at; she hated to ruin it by opening it.

Her hand trembled as she held the final envelope, which had been taped to the present.

She fought tears, but she didn't want to cry. She couldn't cry. She had to remain strong; she knew that. No boy was worth crying over, especially not Derek, not after how he'd treated her these past months. Then again, she wasn't a saint either. She knew that she'd made his life difficult too. They both were guilty of so much, but this right here was unacceptable. She couldn't accept Derek's big, fancy gift, especially when she had not got him anything extraordinary.

Meredith had never been a big fan of Christmas; she and Derek had never gone out of their ways to buy each other Christmas presents. Usually their holidays were spent in the OR, since they were always the busiest time at the hospital thanks to holiday mishaps, and their gift to each other was usually a quickie in an on-call room. That was enough for her. That's what she had hoped to give him this Christmas.

Tears festered in her eyes. She blinked them away quickly as she took a deep breath and opened the final envelope.

You told me once we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart;
life is messy for us, it's been like that from the start.
I still believe in the magic of us,
in blue post-its and tumors on walls.
I love you and the family we built,
even when I'm really good at making the foundation tilt.
Merry Christmas, Meredith, all the way from DC,
I can't wait to see you succeed.
(Also, imagine that, right now, I'm giving you a bone-melting kiss.)

She'd promised herself she wouldn't cry, but there they were, streaming down her face mercilessly and there wasn't anything she could do about it. Meredith was just grateful she had sent Callie and Amelia away, so they didn't have to see her like this. This was the reason she'd sent them away, because, deep down, she knew she wouldn't be able to hold it together.

Meredith wanted nothing more than that bone-melting kiss, but at the same time, she wanted to slap the hell out of Derek. And she hated that she couldn't do either. She hated this arrangement. It wasn't working out at all, and she knew it was her fault. Her stubbornness had put them in this awful situation, and little by little she knew she was losing Derek each day.

She dug her nails into the wrapping paper and shredded the paper with her fingers, putting all her strength into demolishing the pretty red paper.

What she revealed was stunning. Her heart raced.

It was a brand new 3D printer.

Crap, she thought. She had so badly wanted to hate Derek's present.

But she couldn't. She knew she had a call to make.

Derek's phone rang after they had eaten dessert and they were chilling in the kitchen, talking about nothing and everything. He excused himself from the table to answer it.

He picked up without even looking at the ID, knowing that it had to be important if they were calling him on Christmas Day, whoever they were.

"I hate you," came from the other end of the call, and Derek froze in the hall, his eyes widening when he realized to whom the croaky voice belonged to.

"Mere?" He whispered tentatively, afraid of her next words. He really didn't want to fight with her right then, and the beginning of the conversation didn't bode well for him.

"I hate this." She used as a reply.

And then it dawned on him that she must have finished the scavenger hunt and found her present. Maybe that was a bit too much? Maybe she didn't want to 3D-print anything anymore? He was usually good at gifts, especially for people he knew and loved, but did he completely miss the mark?

"Meredith, did you finish the scavenger hunt?"

"Yes," she croaked, clearing her throat right after. "Why? Why did you give me a 3D printer as a Christmas present? Is it for your own amusement when I'll fail miserably?"

He sighed, and now more than anything he just wanted to be there next to his wife and hold her. He was supposed to be there. Kiss her until their knees were weak. Reassure her that he had his best intentions in mind. A phone call had to do.

"Of course not. I told you in the note, I want to see you succeed."

"You don't believe I'll succeed."

"I do. Your mind is brilliant; you can succeed in everything you set your mind into."

There was a long silence after that, and Derek swore he could hear Meredith sniffling. She was breaking his heart, all the way from Seattle.

"I miss you, Mere," he blurted, surprised by his honesty and the raw quality of his voice. Yet, he didn't mind how vulnerable he was all of a sudden.

Meredith swallowed a lump in her throat when Derek's words reached her ear. Of course she missed him too. And she hated him. She hated that he was all the way in DC and not with her, not there to give her the stupid printer or to reassure her that she wasn't a failure. She felt more and more like a failure these days, she couldn't believe how Derek could believe in her so blindly.

"You didn't call," she said instead of voicing her true feelings. She had no idea if it was a bit of a payback for having her run around the whole hospital following clues on cards or what, but the hurt that seeped in her voice didn't make her feel any better.

"I didn't call," Derek murmured simply. "I knew if I called we would have fought over the fact that I'm not coming home for Christmas."

She sighed. She had to give it to him, he was probably right, even if it didn't make her feel any better. "I had to hear it from Callie. Callie, Derek."

"Would you have preferred a text? Because that's as far as I was willing to go." His tone had already took an edge and she bit her lip, another tear scrolling down her cheek. She heard him take a very deep breath. "God, I'm sorry. This is why I don't call. I can't – "

The sincerity behind that broke her heart. And yes, he knew her so well that he had predicted when she would frown on his clue cards, but she could bet the printer in front of her that he was now running his hand through his hair and pacing, wherever he was.

"Where are you? Are you stranded in an airport somewhere?" She softened her tone, trying to set aside all the anger, because a tiny part of her was really concerned about his well-being.

"I drove to New York, I'm having Christmas with my mother and the sisters." She could hear the hint of a smile in his tone, and she wondered if he would have been this happy with her and the kids here. "They are all missing you and the children."

"I'm glad you're not alone today, Derek," she murmured softly, sighing loudly.

"Are Zola and Bailey there with you?" There was a certain urgency in his tone the she could understand perfectly. She was missing them, too.

"Actually, no. They're in daycare. We are stranded at the hospital and I have to cover the shifts until they clear the roads and new people can come in. It's been crazy the past few days with all this snow."

"Oh." Man, she hated the sighs that made him sound like she had just killed his puppy.

"Should I go up there? Call you back when I'm with them?"

"God, I want to see them." He breathed, almost as if he had been thinking out loud. "Do you think we can Skype when you get home, so they can open a few presents with me there?"

"I have no idea when I'll be home," she admitted, part of her crushed as much as Derek sounded on the other end. "What about tomorrow? I'll probably be home by then. We can have our own Christmas on Boxing Day."

"Yes," he stammered. "Yes, I'd love that."

"Okay." She sighed. She had no idea why, but it felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders as they finalized their plans.

"I'll try to come home soon, even if it's not Christmas. I promise."

She hummed something in agreement, though she stopped believing in his promises. If he came home, theyd figure out a way to coexist until he left again. It would be okay.

"Thank you," he murmured. "Thank you, Meredith."

She had no idea how to reply to that, or why he was even thanking her. "Merry Christmas, Derek."

"Merry Christmas, Meredith," he replied. "I love you," he added, then hung up before she could say anything else.

"I love you, too," she murmured into the empty lab, her eyes on the 3D printer, her heart heavy.

The house had quieted down considerably after Derek's sisters had left, the only noise was Carolyn cleaning the kitchen and chatting with Caden. Derek showed up a few minutes later, looking a bit distraught and disheveled, then he mumbled something about packing. Amy frowned at the abrupt change in him after the phone call.

Derek's lively and happy spirit had dulled to a hum after the phone call, which basically made the party wind down pretty quickly. Amy hadn't minded that, since she was tired after the long day, but it was odd to see such a different side of Derek in the span of only a few moments.

Derek came downstairs a few minutes after, carrying his suitcase to the foyer, together with Caden's backpack.

"I'll get your stuff right away," he announced, piling up the luggage.

"There's no rush, Derek," Carolyn said smiling at her son. Derek simply smiled back, only to disappear upstairs again.

When he came back down he had Amy's backpack and her purse, and he left them on top of the pile already in the foyer.

He sat down next to Amy, and she shifted the stack of dirty plates closer to the dishwasher. He gave her a soft smile, sighing softly.

"I hope you two had fun the last couple of days here," Derek said, grabbing a container of leftovers and putting them in the fridge.

"We did." Amy confirmed, knowing he had done much more than what was necessary to make sure they indeed had a good Christmas. "Thank you, Derek."

"It was a pleasure having you two here." Carolyn added from her spot. "You're welcome to come back anytime to keep company to an old lady," she said, making Amy smile.

"Thank you for having us."

"I mean it, Amy. If anything else happens and you need to get away, come here. Or call me." Carolyn smiled gently, giving Amy a piece of paper with her handwritten phone number on it. "Or you can just call to catch up."

Amy hoped she would use the number only for the latter.

"Mom, are you coming with me to take Amy and Caden home?" Derek asked while he was securing his own Tupperware of leftovers, before he gave one to Amy and Caden as well.

Carolyn shared a look with her, asking for one last confirmation. Amy smiled her yes, as Carolyn vocalized hers. "You don't mind if I come with your car, Derek, right?"

Amy smiled. Oh, McDreamy was in big trouble…

Amy had to admit, she enjoyed seeing this side of Derek. While he was still the same family man he had been in Seattle, he looked a lot less on edge here, more relaxed. He wasn't waiting for the other shoe to drop, unlike what she could remember of her brief stay in Seattle. Of course it wasn't just his own kids who adored him, but his nieces and nephews loved him just the same. Even though Derek had disappeared after his phone call, it had been nice to know he could be so playful and happy.

As they drove to her house, Derek spoke only enough to ask for directions, or to reply when someone asked him a question. Amy noticed he was slightly more articulated when Caden asked something trivial, while he tended to be curt and brisk when it was Carolyn who asked.

The closer they were to her house though, the less she could care about Derek's issues. Her own issues were rising to the surface. And this was not the time to have a panic attack. Not at all. The snow, falling quietly but steadily, wasn't helping matters, either.

After her father died, snow lost its appeal to her. Amy had never been a fan, but she hated it more now. It reminded her of bad times and losses, instead of the magic of Christmas it usually symbolizes.

"I guess Snowmageddon has moved from the West to the East," Derek commented dryly, his voice irritated as the wipers on the windshield made a soundtrack for his words. "I'm not a big fan of snow right now."

"Me neither," she murmured, and Derek's eyebrows rose – at least that was what it appeared to be from the rearview mirror.

Amy could see it in eyes how much it still bothered him not to be in Seattle, and she tried to focus on his turmoil to avoid hers.

Even Caden next to her took a deep breath as they took one last turn into their street, and she almost wanted to pretend they could simply keep driving instead of telling Derek they had arrived when she spotted her own front door.

"The one with the white door," she murmured, the lump in her throat larger and larger.

Amy had no idea if she could actually move as soon as the car stopped. Dread was keeping her rooted to the backseat. The engine stopped humming and only the odd quiet that only snow could bring remained. Every sound seemed muffled as Derek and Caden opened their doors simultaneously.

"I'll carry your suitcase to the door." Derek offered, a tight smile on his face as he bundled up before exiting in the snow.

Derek sighed, for the first time in his life bothered by the gentle snowflakes falling on his skin. He wanted to be home, with Meredith and his babies, and snowflakes were keeping him from them.

He tried to shrug off the feeling that he was intruding in Amy's life, but it didn't want to leave either. There was a lump in his throat of insecurity and restlessness he hadn't felt in a while.

Derek watched as his mother flanked Amy and Caden, leading them to the door. The more he looked at Amy, the bigger was the deja-vù. He dismissed that feeling too, focusing on carrying the luggage inside.

Amy's mother welcomed him in with a frown on her face and the smell of alcohol on her breath. He tried to ignore it, but he could see the disappointment on Amy's face when she saw her.

The woman was courteous and sloppy at the same time, and she looked utterly lost. Derek had vague memories of his mother looking like that, but they were fuzzy, and he was grateful. No child needed to see their parent fall apart.

He wondered how much his kids understood of what was going on between him and Meredith, his need to work away from home, why all of a sudden the balance has shifted. He knew they were not too little to understand that something was off.

Almost as if he had predicted it, his phone buzzed as soon as the women retreated to the living room, while Caden had already fled the scene. He saw the notification for a new text message, and sighed when he noticed it was from Meredith.

Finally home. Free to Skype anytime soon?

Derek sighed, glad that Meredith had finally left the hospital, but cursed himself when he had to reply that he had to drive for the next five hours.

While he waited to hear back from Meredith, he studied Amy with the two mothers, talking on the couch. He could see his mother being her own usual comforting self, as Amy's mother struggled to keep the tears at bay. Amy was just there, half surprised, half scared to death, and the sudden urge to hug her again as if she were Zola was unexpected.

He knew he wanted Amy's life to go back on track, with a mother that loved her, even fatherless. Derek also had no doubt Meredith cared about Amy, though he knew how hard it must have been for her to have hidden this secret for years. The anger about this was long gone from his system, he had processed it enough on his lonely nights in DC to figure Meredith had done the best she could under the circumstances.

As he watched his mom hug both Amy and her mother, he vowed not to let all this time pass before he heard from the young woman, even if it was just to catch up with her and ask her about her medical school. Before then though, he had to think about his own kids, still waiting for him to show up for a Christmas that was gone by then.

Meredith's reply came promptly, Derek's phone buzzing again.

When you're back in DC, then? We can pretend it's Christmas all over again.

Derek knew he had a set date then, and he replied with a promise to call first and his heart a bit lighter. Especially when he saw the three women in the living room laughing together as if they were old friends.

Knowing that his life was falling back into place, albeit slowly, was the best Christmas present he could have ever received.

Irene's A/N: That was quite the chapter, wasn't it? There's still a pending Shepherd family Christmas to celebrate, though. Thank you for still being here, reading.