Authors note: Hi my beautiful readers it's been over two months since I've put up a new chapter and I'm so sorry for that, I suffered from major writers block and I just couldn't write anything no matter how hard I tried. But thanks to help, advice and guidelines of my amazing Beta heroicunicorn99 this chapter turned into something amazing. Basically all the credits and praise for this chapter goes to them. Also despite the fact that this chapter is really late, it is however, longer than most of my other chapters and I hope that that compensates somewhat for the lateness.
I want to thank cnicholson2014 for following this story, so thank you very much and I want to thank FanfavBBC for favouriting, thank you very much. I appreciate it.
If you're reading this you're reading my story and I thank you for it.
Disclaimer:I do not own Twilight.
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Third
"For God's sake! Get up already," Taercy snapped as she roughly yanked the covers off her younger sister. She was annoyed that they had the day off and all her sister wanted to do was lie in bed.
"I said, Get. The. Hell. Up." Tae growled in frustration, roughly shoving her sister's shoulder with every annoyed word that passed by her lips.
Rae made no sound, just curled herself into a tighter ball, a sight that made Tae's heart clench in sadness. The last time she'd seen her sister like this was when their father died. Raegan had been so miserable that Tae had decided to put her own grief aside to give some sense of comfort and normality to her sister.
She hated admitting it, but Tae had a soft spot for her adorable little sister. And seeing Raegan upset always made Tae feel like she was failing as a big sister.
Despite knowing that Raegan had the tendency to both over complicate and dramatise situations, she still felt for her whenever she broke down. Rae was her little sister, and to know that your little sister was suffering and not knowing why was unbearable to her.
"Raegan Kamenna Crane, you better get your ass off up this damn bed!"
The only time anyone ever used Rae's full name was when they meant business.
"You are not only killing my mood with your 'I'm drowning in eternal Darkness' Act, but you're also making me waste my day off because I've been placed on 'make sure you're sister doesn't drown in her tears' watch. Everybody else gets to enjoy their day off while I'm stuck with you."
There was no answer from the lump under the covers. Tae frowned. Usually by now she would've woken up. Even after their father died, Tae had been able to coax a reaction out of her sister by being a little shit... But now.
Clearing her throat, she continued.
"So you had better get your ass up. We're going shopping and you are going to tell me what exactly is making you turn back to the dark side."
Tae looked down at her sister who, as expected didn't give any reaction.
"Be ready in 30, if you're not I'm getting Momma and Elae involved."
No answer from Rae. It wasn't like she was expecting it, but there wasn't anything else Tae could do. She'd already threatened her sister enough, and knowing Raegan she'd be down in 30 just like Tae demanded.
While her sister had the tendency to be stuck in her own depressing aura sometimes, she was still kind and willing to do anything to ease her family's pain somewhat.
(If she was aware of the pain she was causing)
Rae also knew not to get on Momma's and Noni's bad sides.
Tae silently left the room and made her way downstairs, allowing Raegan the privacy she needed so she could get her act together before she came down. She sighed, Raegan had always been fragile and breakable like this and it always was up to either Tae or their father to pick up the pieces.
Come to think of it, Tae and her father usually glued both Elae and Raegan back together.
Since the former was horrible in any kind of social setting and the latter was so easily overwhelmed, it made Tae wondered how they both made it through college.
"And?" Kamenna asked immediately, while Tae made her way down the stairs all the while clipping short curly bangs out off her face.
Her silver bobby pins shimmered in the morning sunlight that filtered in from a nearby window.
"And what?"
"What did she say?" Kamenna prompted eagerly while she poured her granddaughter a mug off coffee. Tae took the mug and shot her grandmother a grateful smile.
She knew that even though her Noni tried to bond with all of her granddaughters, Raegan had a special bond with their Noni that Tae wouldn't ever have. It was similar to what her and her Nana Nita had; there was a likeness in their personality's and morals that just made a strong connection.
Tae knew that it also made for an extremely worried Noni whenever Raegan was upset. "Mom, she's not going to say anything. You should know that better than anyone," Cassandra, Tae's beautiful mother and Noni's daughter said softly.
Cassandra was still recovering from the death of her husband.
"She's still in 'Eternal Darkness mode' at the moment." Tae grimaced. She knew her mother and grandmother had been hoping for her to pull Raegan out of her funk.
Guilt settled heavily into her stomach.
Noni sighed and ran her hand over her face in an exasperated manner. Tae smile sadly at their grandmother.
"I was insensitive and unsympathetic towards her," Kamenna sighed, taking a sip from her coffee. "That's what caused all of this."
Tae frowned. She'd been asking her grandmother for two whole days what exactly she could've said to Raegan that threw her sister into 'Eternal Darkness mode', but her grandmother wouldn't budge. She insisted that if she wanted to know she'd have to ask Raegan herself.
"Noni, no matter what you've said to Rae, it shouldn't garner such a big reaction. From either of you."
Kamenna sighed, "That's what I thought, but I was wrong. It wasn't my place and I overstepped my bounds."
Both Tae and Cassie shared a look, The mother and daughter duo easily understanding that, whatever upset Raegan had nothing to do with their grandmother.
"Mom..." Cassie said, exasperation clear in her voice.
Cassie hadn't always been the voice of reason in her household, she usually left that for her husband Maeson.
But he wasn't here anymore, and she somehow felt like she was only just now feeling the weight of being a mother.
Sure, Cassie knew her daughters, and she could anticipate their reactions to everything. But she never had to deal with everything. It was like reading about a job, just because you knew how to do it, doesn't always mean you can literally do it. And that's how she'd felt for the past year.
She felt like she'd been around when the times were fluffy and fun.
But when the storms hit she always hid in the cellar while her husband was out there trying to make sure their house didn't fall apart.
"Noni, no offence but you should've known better. Not only because it's Rae-Rae, but because she's a human being. If you knew she was dealing with something, you should've come to us instead of saying stuff that would undoubtedly upset her." Tae took another sip of her coffee, observing her grandmother carefully.
Cassie nodded along with her daughter. While she doubted her mother had purposely said anything to upset Raegan, she knew better then anyone that her mother could be a little oblivious at times.
She sighed. Cassie had hoped Tae would be able to cheer Raegan up in some way. Tae was more equipped at handling life than her other daughters.
Cassie couldn't pretend to know what her daughters were thinking every waking moment of the day. But Tae was always the one picking up both Elae and Rae from the depths of their sadness, and it was a gift that Cassie knew she got from her father.
"I didn't know it was going to upset her, I just...I was upset," Kammenna whispered.
She cleared her throat, and continued. "She was upset and I...I said some stuff without thinking, even though I should've helped her."
Noni scrunched up her eyebrows and laid her cup on the table with a tired sigh.
Tae pursed her lips, taking another thoughtful sip off her coffee . She felt a tiny prickle of realization.
"Does this have anything to do with the pirate angels you told us to stay away from?" Tae asked slowly.
Noni's eyes flashed with the truth even if she didn't say it.
"What's so bad about them anyway? Are they on some gang stuff?"
Noni closed her eyes when the familiar sound of Reagan's boots clumping down the stairs rang through the kitchen.
Getting Raegan dressed and out of her room was one impressive feat altogether.
"Rae-Rae! You got dressed!"
"You told me to." Raegan's sullen eyes seemed to glare out at her family.
Cassie and Tae shared a worried look. She was being sulky and clearly didn't want to go out with Tae.
"Yes I know, but it's always a surprise when you actually do as I tell you to," Tae trilled.
"Taercy, please, stop mocking your sister." Cassandra turned to her younger daughter, and smiled. "I'm really glad you've decided to go out with your sister, Raegan."
Raegan's lips turned upside down in a childlike manner.
"Yeah. Decided."
Taercy rolled her eyes while she watched her little sister seethe in childish anger.
"So what did you do up there for two days? Join the night's watch?"
"What?"
Taercy waved her hand over her sisters glum appearance with a grimace, "You look like you've joined Jon Snow in his infinite celibacy."
Cassie had to hold back a snort. While she never enjoyed seeing her daughters sad, she always enjoyed watching Taercy do her best to cheer her sisters up.
"First of all, his name is Aegon Targaryen, put some respect on it. Second of all, why does it matter what I wear? I don't even want to go!"
Both girls stared each other down, one sister looking severely annoyed while the other looked like she might start shitting rainbows any second.
"I personally believe that clothing affects moods, if you feel sad you tend to go with dark unnoticeable colours and baggy clothing and when you feel happy the clothes are always more vibrant. Now since you feel sad and this trip is meant to make you feel somewhat less grumpy, I ask you to please change into something that makes you look...less like you're waiting for the night king to come and destroy your world and More like you've just taught your dragons to fly!"
Raegan turned to her mother. She wore an expression that reminded Cassie so much of a bored cat that she had to hold back another snort of laughter. Her eyes silently begged her mother to let her go back to bed.
"Just go with it," The mother of three mouthed.
Taercy winked at her mother, already sensing Raegan's mood changing slightly to match the brighter pace of their day.
"Don't expect too much," Rae grumbled while she made her way up to her room, no longer completely unwilling to go along with the shopping trip.
"Okay, I'm gonna go and change out of this sweater."
As Cassie watched Taercy leave her coffee cup on the table and skip off, she began to think.
It had been a while since her mother and Raegan had had a disagreement. Cassandra couldn't even remember what it was about, but all she remembered was the constant tension. Neither woman would budge, and it wasn't resolved until Taercy had forced the two to talk it out.
This time it felt different. Noni had wounded Raegan, and unintentionally or not, it was still serious.
She turned to her mother and was about to ask her when Kamenna stood up.
"I have a council meeting to attend," the elderly woman said softly, before she rushed from the kitchen.
Cassie was left contemplating what exactly Maeson had left her to deal with by herself, and the feeling of being an inadequate mother slammed back into her like freight train.
Unlike all the other times, Maeson couldn't comfort her and tell her that he was there, and that he would smooth out all the kinks and fill up all the gaps.
Now there were holes and uneven edges.
And she had no idea how to smooth or fill anything.
Footsteps walking down the stairs brought her out off her stupor.
There was a moment of silence while Rae sat down at the table. Cassie placed a cup of tea in front off her youngest daughter, ignoring her annoyed stare.
"Why are you making me do this?" Raegan asked quietly, her eyes barely focused on her mother. Her voice trembled with a thousand emotions that were about to erupt.
"Rae-Rae, I just want you to feel better, you know? There's really no harm in you spending some more time with your sister, and I'm positive Taercy can help you be a little more...cheery."
Raegan's green eyes suddenly glared into her mothers, inexplicably furious.
"Tae! Helpful? Ma, are you kidding me? Tae's as helpful as a dirty rag!."
"Ouch!" Taercy cried out sarcastically from up the stairs. "I have feelings, you know."
Cassie sighed, completely confused as to why Rae and Elae had such a bad perception of Taercy. She was in some ways more like their father then the other two.
"Well, dear, she's less oblivious than Elae, and I'm..." Before Cassie could finish her sentence, Rae had shaken her head to quiet her mother. It had taken her a moment, but now she understood Cassie's lack of experience in this department.
As well as her mother's complete inability to be a whole person without her father.
Raegan couldn't judge her mother for being dependent on their father, but in many ways Raegan wished she wasn't. In some ways Raegan wished that her mother actually knew what to do and how to cope without their father there.
Raegan supposed that after their father's death she'd expected Cassie to be their new rock. After all, Maeson had been Cassie's rock and her protector, the only thing keeping her from seeing how hard life truly was. The only thing obstructing the hardships of parenthood from her view, the only thing keeping her from seeing the lows of marriage.
It made her a little angry that her mother was clueless. Rae knew she was still grieving, but wasn't everybody else? The responsibility of their family had fallen onto Cassie, and now she couldn't bear it.
A part of Raegan wanted to scream at her mother, to tell her how unfair everything about this situation was. That part was angry and restless, and it wanted to pick a fight.
But it never did, It never could... Because there was another part of her that was so much like her father, and that part enjoyed her mother's somewhat childlike view on life and it's hardships.
Cassie had left Lapush at 16 years old, to live with her aunt Kamber in Chicago. She had been tired of her mother suppressing her life. Tired of the reservation life and all the tiresome obligations that came with it. She wanted something wild and adventurous, she wanted to see what was beyond La push. In a way she did, but not enough. She was still so innocent. Cassie married Maeson a month after meeting him. Needless to say, she was lucky and grateful that they were soulmates, otherwise her life could've taken a turn for the worse.
Cassie realized a couple of hours after her husband's death that life waited for no one. She realized she hadn't really known anything about life. Immediately she knew that no matter how her life went on, she would never find someone as perfectly matched for her as Maeson was.
But she didn't mind.
Her husband had been her forever guy and she was fine if she had to finish her journey by herself.
She figured it was time for him to get some rest, he had been keeping both their worlds afloat for close to thirty years.
He deserved a rest.
XXXX
"We're not talking bout it," Tae said easily.
Raegan turned away from the car window to her older sister and frowned.
"Seriously though, you actually do look like your expecting the night king to come and devour you at any moment. Trust me, it's ain't a good look. It's scary and worrying." Taercy looked over to Raegan, whose face remained stony as it glared out the window.
"Okay, here's the deal," she started again. "I'm here to cheer you up. So thats what I'm gonna do. Like it or not. If you don't wanna talk about whatever's got you down, we won't."
Raegan simply shrugged. Her sister's descriptions were right. She did feel like death was imminent, and that Paul's incessant calling, her inability to block him and the constant gaping and aching hole in her chest, were slowly making her lose the last grasp she had on her mind.
She could hardly think past Paul, his name, his body, his mind, the wolf, the mark, the letters that made up his name, his eyes, the fact that he had beige tiles in his bathroom and his toothbrush was blue.
It was seriously making her want to throw herself over a bridge.
Raegan knew why she hadn't yet. Paul practically guarded her bedroom window every night.
It was the only think keeping her afloat.
"Thanks?"
Tae nodded, seemingly disinterested, but finally glad to have gotten a reaction. Tae knew from experience that pushing her sister to do something wouldn't do anything but make Raegan even more stubborn.
And so Taercy would wait, eventually letting Rae do the talking.
"We're here!" Tae said excitedly as she parked the car outside of the mall. After driving for what seemed like days to Raegan they'd finally arrived at their destination. She sighed reluctantly and was about to step out off the car when her phone rang. She took the pink device out off her pocket anyway, just to stare at the name flashing on the screen, despite knowing she wouldn't answer. Those four simple letters that made a name brought so much warmth into her soul.
It was absolutely ridiculous.
It was the 47th time Paul had called today and Raegan couldn't be more happy, it was like he knew she needed it. Like he knew she needed to know he was thinking about her and her safety.
On one hand Raegan loathed it, but on the other hand she couldn't help feel a feeling of joy spread through her.
With a sigh she pocketed her phone and stepped out off the car. She was immediately confronted with her sister's hazel eyes.
"Let's shop. Until all your worries are forgotten."
Raegan watched her sister walk off and sighed once again while she followed her sister into the shopping mall.
XXXX
Raegan sighed, her head was hurting and her chest ached. She didn't want to be here in Port Angeles, and of all things shopping. Of course she didn't want to be with Paul either, but considering the circumstances she didn't want to be to far away from him either.
It was the most annoying thing. She didn't want to be anywhere near him but being too far away from him physically hurt her.
She sighed again while she sat outside of the changing room, just waiting for Tae to show her another outfit. Something which she might have enjoyed a couple of days ago, but just seemed pointless now.
She hadn't even been able to read a book yesterday, all she did was sit underneath her window and press her ear against the wall so she could hear Paul's heart beat in the forest behind her home, because apparently that's how pathetic she'd become.
"Okay, how do you like this one?" Tae asked, excitedly stepping out of the changing room. This time she'd picked a black sweater dress that emphasized all the right things, yet was still very modest.
Raegan shrugged. She hadn't wanted to go anyways so if her sister was upset by her lack of reaction, it was karma. But somehow Taercy took it in stride, always able to read her sister's expressive green eyes like a book.
If she wasn't feeling like complete crap, Raegan might've applauded. The dress looked amazing on her sister. She was almost jealous.
"I like it too, so I'm gonna get it," Tae said and smiled happily again before she walked back into the changing room. Leaving Raegan alone so she could go back to drowning in her feelings.
Her phone rang again.
78th, Raegan counted mentally. He'd been calling more frequently in the past hour, almost like he sensed that she'd left Lapush. Of course he was worried.
The phone stopped ringing for a moment, then started back up.
79th, Rae took her phone out of her pocket just to see the name flash over the screen, somehow the fact that she could press one button and speak with him was something that relieved her whole being. She frowned at the pink device again, feeling once again that her traitorous mind and body wanted so badly to just hear Paul's voice.
Her phone screen went black again, and she sighed, trying hard to hold back tears as she stared at the black screen.
Raegan closed her eyes when once again the phone vibrated in her hand, only this time, before the ringing could even go off, Raegan answered, placing the phone against her ear.
Desperate to hear anything from Paul.
"Raegan?"
Raegan stayed quiet while she listened to Paul whisper her name, tears already falling from her eyes. Sadly she came to the realization that she'd missed Paul so much that hearing his voice was making her cry.
"Raegan, are you there?"
He asked again, somehow still soft, like he knew she was only going to listen and he knew why. He was just letting her, he was allowing her to simply hear his voice, to just bask in the fact that he was on the other end of the line and if she didn't want to she didn't have to do or say anything.
But she did, she wanted to say so many things, she wanted to yell and tell him what an asshole he was. And she wanted to whisper gently how much she'd missed the sound of his voice and the warmth of his skin.
"It hurts so much," she whispered, her voice already cracking.
Before Raegan actually knew what she'd said, she'd already said it.
"I know,"
And there it was, the thing Raegan never really wanted to hear out of Paul's mouth because it just reminded her of the fact that he knew all the consequences that marking her would bring and he did it anyway. A surge of anger came over her again.
She hung up the phone and punched the mirrors of the changing rooms, making them shatter all through the store.
Raegan sobbed loudly while she continued to shatter anything in her path. She knew that she was channeling some of Pauls anger, but it didn't matter, she was angry and she wanted to destroy everything and ask God why her?
Why not somebody else?
Why her?
Tae (third)
Tae watched herself in the hideous pink dress and grimaced, wondering why in the world she had chosen this dress for herself. It was horrible in so many ways, so she took it off and put on her own clothes.
Taercy had promised herself that this would be a productive trip. She'd even made a mental list of things she wanted to achieve.
1. Cheer Up Rae-Rae.
This wasn't exactly going well, she realized, peaking out the dressing room door. Her sister was slouched in an unattractive manner while glaring at her phone. It was definitely a guy that was bothering her.
2. Find an amazing dress(es), whichever dresses caught her eye she would buy.
This also was not going well. They were onto the third store and Tae had only found the one dress, which also wasn't really what she'd been looking for.
3. Find, and then acquire the number of a cute boy(s).
This was the only thing going well so far. Taercy had given her number to one hottie, and had tried to get another number for Raegan. Off course the look Raegan shot the boy was enough for the guy to basically run away from them.
With an exasperated groan, she put her own clothes back on and hung the brightly colored dresses back up. Straightening her sweater, she walked out of the dressing rooms to search for her sister.
At least that was what she'd intended to do, but she was interrupted by crashes and screams.
Screams she would recognize everywhere.
She'd had nightmares about those screams since she was 10.
Needless to say Tae did her best to not anger her little sister anymore.
She could turn from angelic to demonic in under a second.
Tae shivered again remembering the Barbie doll incident, from when they were kids. Never again would she deliberately destroy something that Raegan held dear. It would only end in despair.
Tae opened the door leading out of the changing room and found her sister, throwing racks of clothing around. She wanted to stop her, she wanted more then anything to go to Raegan and tell her to stop throwing a tantrum like a three year old, but she couldn't.
Yes, her sister was trashing the store and they'd get arrested if they didn't leave here soon, but there was something about the anger Raegan was portraying that chilled her.
It was raw and animalistic, unlike she'd ever seen before. It was scarier than when she'd destroyed the beloved Barbie.
And mind you that was already bad enough.
After several more seconds, there was a deafening silence when Raegan ran out of the store.
Taercy quickly followed, trying to get out before security or the cops arrived. She found Rae sitting by the car door with a haunted expression on her face.
"We have to talk," Tae said, glaring down at Raegan.
She didn't say anything, just stared at her phone that would not stop ringing. The name Paul blinked up on the phone and Rae sighed.
"I know I said I wouldn't force you. But this? Rae-Rae! You're lucky the security wasn't there! So...spill. What the hell has been happening with you?"
Raegan didn't say anything, her, eyes still glued on the phone that was just vibrating without fail in her hand.
Tae sighed, and held her hand out for her sister. "How bout lunch, kay? Come on Rae, my treat."
XXXX
Rae-Rae
"Okay, Raegan. Speak," Tae said while taking a bite off her Pasta.
I didn't want to tell her anything, I had no desire to discuss my feelings. I just wanted to go home and curl up under my covers, the conversation with Paul and the aftermath had drained me off all my energy.
I didn't want to talk about it, mainly because I just couldn't. I had no desire to drag my sister into the shit show that was the Lapush pack and Paul.
My heart thudded loudly, and I was sure everybody could hear it. Every little noise, every glass clinking and fork scraping made my spine tingle and my hair stand on end.
God, what was wrong with me?
I wanted to talk, I truly wanted to lay my heart bare and have somebody support me and my decision about Paul.
No matter what.
Despite Tae's obvious shallowness, she gave decent advice. I had to give her that. When it came to relationships and guys, Taercy was the expert.
"There's a guy," I whispered.
Which made Tae hum, and nod. "Yep. Paul, right? I got that already."
I sighed, closing my eyes, taking in a deep breath. I tried to decide for the last time if I should tell Tae about Paul. Even though I couldn't tell her about the supernatural aspect, I could at least tell her about the relationship part.
Right?
"What's with him?" Tae asked, her voice dead serious. "I mean, really, Rae. Every since this whole thing with him you've been a wreck. It's... it's like you're a whole different person, And that's Rae, seeing as you're a stubborn bull who doesn't like change."
"He has, um, recently expressed some, well, interest in me," I said carefully, trying to asses Tae's reaction. Of course she has the audacity to smirk. Her little giggle almost sent me over the edge again.
"Ah ha! So you like him?"
I shrugged. Tae was so simple, there was no situation too complicated for her. That kind of annoyed me.
No, that really annoyed me.
"It's complicated."
Tae snorted and rolled her eyes. "It's always complicated with you."
I opened my mouth to say something but had no comeback.
I'm a very simple person but being bound to somebody against your will and then having to spend the rest of your lives with them isn't exactly an easy or fair situation.
I mean yes off course, I knew what it entailed but my emotions and mind were all jacked up and I couldn't understand squat anymore.
"You have no idea what you're talking about," I mumbled as I took another bite of this heavenly Pasta Alfredo, literally the only bright light in my life at the moment.
"Enlighten me," Tae said cheekily, her perfectly tweezed eyebrows arching challengingly.
I chewed carefully and watched my sister for a while, really contemplating if I should tell her anything Paul related. He wasn't somebody I'd actually want Tae to meet any time soon.
"Paul did something he wasn't supposed to, and... it's been bothering me because the thing he did is bad but my body and heart literally can't stop thinking about him." I explained easily enough, although that isn't really the real situation. Because I won't really be able to walk away anyhow.
"Did he rape you?" Suddenly Tae's eyes were burning with unmatched fury.
For a moment I was tempted to tell her that yes, I had been violated. Just not quite the way she thought.
"No," I said, shaking my head. "He can just be an ass."
"Oh, you've got yourself a Darryl, then?" Tae asked with a grimace.
Darryl, Elaery's ex-boyfriend, cheated on her in our own basement. That happened when she was 18 and she hasn't had a boyfriend since.
It was sad if you thought about it, but Elae confessed she'd known he'd been cheating on her for 5 months already. She just didn't bring it up because she didn't want to lose him. I was only 11 at that time but it officially confirmed for me that my older sister could not take care of herself alone, she needed someone.
Aside from that, thanks to that horrible experience and Darryl, we now have a name for bastards that have hooked themselves into your heart.
Bastards that are assholes and you can easily give an ass whooping go by the name off Tyrone, famously named after Tae's Ex of 2 months who cheated on her with our neighbor and got tasered for it.
Trust me, it was fun watching my older sister taser the crap out of him.
And then there is the general name for the guys who you just fall out of love with. We call those James, famously named after my last boyfriend who stood by me for 3 years. Eventually we just didn't love each other anymore.
I sighed, the list went on to so many more names because Tae, had had so many boyfriends she had every bastard and we'd been able to give every bad scenario a name because of it.
"No, that's not it," I muttered. Paul was nothing like Darryl, even though he'd done something horrible to me, there was genuine love for me there. I knew because I felt whatever he felt and I could clearly feel the love for me there.
Tae took another bite off her pasta and hummed.
"Paul is, nothing we've ever seen before..." I finished lamely. I looked back up at my sister who took another bite of pasta and said nothing.
"What's he like?"
I shrugged, again in thought, somehow my mind had calmed down somewhat. I was able to think clearly, from the little things I knew about Paul. How would I describe him?
"Intimidating, angry and intense...yet surprisingly understanding?"
Tae raised her eyebrows In surprise, "That's different from your usual type."
I shook my head, Paul wasn't even close to my type. I didn't even have a type, I just loved whoever I loved.
Sadly it applied with Paul now as well, even though I doubted the love was real. Because of the imprint.
"Also sis, angry is never a good type. Don't you remember that date Elae went on with Craig? He got all pissy cause she wouldn't kiss him. Thank God we were home otherwise Elae would've been dead."
Ugh. Craig he was a type A asshole. Mom's friend Hannah had set up Elae with him because she thought the girl needed to go out and date more. Which now, in hindsight, it really hadn't been any of Hannah's business. But of course back then (3 years ago), Elae hadn't really had any interests in boys after Darryl, so I understood.
"Just for the record, I don't have a type. I know angry is never a good thing, I'm trying to distance myself from him."
Tae rolled her eyes and cocked her head to the side with another bite of Pasta, "You have a type," she said with a snort.
Did I really have a type?
"Do I?" I asked worriedly, unsure of whether there was a pattern in the boys I've dated. Which were only two mind you, James and Richard, and of those two only Richard was an ass.
"Um, yes? Both Richard and James just had this aura around them. It was a lil scary, because half the time you were the one that was drowning in it."
I pursed my lips. I wanted to deny it, tell her she was wrong, but I realized maybe she was right.
"Listen, it's not a bad thing to like people with a commanding presence. But it becomes an issue when you can't tell which choices are yours anymore."
There she went again, striking a chord even though she barely had any idea what she was talking about. Her advice was spot on and always insightful. Which astounded me, because it was like watching another person give advice out of Tae's mouth.
"Speaking of commanding presences..." Tae said excitedly. Which made me once again focus on her.
"I met a guy!"
I nodded absentmindedly. This was no surprise. Tae met lots of guys.
"We've been texting, and he's nice," She said with a huge smile on her face. Which made me frown. If there was one word Tae had never used to describe a potential boyfriend, it was "nice". The best she'd done is "he has a good heart". Which meant even though he seems like an asshole he's super great.
And They were never really great.
"Did you just say he's nice?" I asked incredulously.
Tae nodded and hummed. "He's nice," She giggled again, a giddy smile coming over her face.
"Okay, so when you say 'I met a guy', you mean like you met a guy?"
I asked, teasing.
Tae stuck her tongue out. "I know what you're doing, you know, Seth is a very nice young Pirate angel and if he'd let me I would definitely raid his ship."
I closed my eyes. Of course Tae would be dragged into this bullshit with me. Of course Tae couldn't have been left out of it.
"Don't tell Noni, she might actually murder me." Tae said with a grimace. "I broke her forbidden rule about the Buff guys. Which, by the way, is a stupid rule. I mean Seth crazy Hot and I gotta give it up cause you say so? I say Ah Hell no and I stand by it." Tae finished with a shrug.
"You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?" I asked amused again, I had no idea which one of the wolves Seth was. But I'd finally remembered why nobody in my family was worried about Tae's parade of Assholes.
Tae got bored easily, and she was very impatient and very violent when crossed.
"Yea, especially after first meeting Seth. I mean I love Noni but we can't listen to her forever. We're already in our twenties! We should be able to make our own decisions on who to trust."
"I mean they're not always going to be the right decisions, but life isn't always about being right, Life is about living and learning, and I'm going to go for him despite Noni," Tae continued passionately,
I hummed absentmindedly.
"It ain't always about the Why's either Rae, sometimes it's about what's now."
I stared at my sister for a long time after that.
Somehow she hit the nail right on the head.
I couldn't help but think who exactly was learning from who on this shopping trip.