Disclaimer: Death Note is not mine. It's fiction.
Note: This is Alternate Universe. If you see that some things are off, it's because AU offers the ability to change everything, even the setting, which I will not. This is another life, in which Light keeps relating to his past life, which was his life as Kira.
- Also, I was skeptical about posting. I don't know if it's good... I'm always my worst critic.
To dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation.
yaoi loveing wolf:
moonlit dew: I'm super, amazingly glad that you enjoyed it. I always take your opinion into account, really. Thank you for all of your reviews, they've kicked my ass. They were awesome and well-detailed and it really helped me out. Hm, I can't promise the most fulfilling ending, but I hope I don't disappoint you. It's very short, but it's the only way I could think of ending it. Again, thank you.
LustAndVengeance: I am very proud! And thank you for saying all of those kind things. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, that anyone enjoyed it, really, but you actually read the story straight through, and that's awesome. Thank you!
fouloldron: You're welcome! And thanks for the review.
seasnake.756: Well, I'm glad you read it. Thank you very much.
Broken Sparrow
by Miss Odzy
010: Broken Sparrow
"I still see you in my dreams, but a dream is just a dream."
"Please, Light…"
I opened my eyes, unsure on what I would be seeing, until Ryuuzaki came into focus. I wasn't dead? He let out a relieved sigh, and reached for my hand, and squeezed it. My heart was aching, but in a way that felt like it was going tear out from my chest. My breathing wasn't returning to normal. And I knew that I was going to die, and I knew why I was still living. Death was waiting for me, waiting for me to do what I was here to do in the first place.
Light... It's getting darker…
The voice in my head was growing weak, also gasping for air. Kira was also dying.
I managed to take control at the very last moment and grab the Death Note myself, before Ryuuzaki pulled us out from the water. Light… You know what you must do.
I dug my free hand into my pocket and retrieved the pen I had brought with me. I was strong enough to sit up, my eyes searching for the book, finding it next to me, wrapped up in cloth. I took hold of it, revealing the black and white bindings. I skipped the first few pages, recognizing them as the rules of the Death Note.
"Light, what are you doing?"
And this is why I didn't want to bring him. He wouldn't understand and he didn't have a reason to, I was going to kill him. My fingers tightened around the pen, hearing Kira whisper to me in my ear, hearing him as I wrote down Ryuuzaki's, and L's real name. And when I had finished writing the words, I looked at him, at his lost – fragile being, and once again, wanted nothing more than to hold him.
He was gorgeous, with his dark eyes brimmed with tears.
"You wrote my name."
I looked away from his eyes; the ground was less intimidating, less resentful. He hated me, didn't he? He thought I was a killer now. I'd die with him hating me like this? I laughed, feeling the real tears that have wanted to come to surface for so many years. The small trail burned – and yet soothed, I needed to cry, even if it was just for a short while, even if I was going to die. Crying made the pain in my chest hurt.
"You wouldn't understand. Neither you nor L could conceive of what I've just done," I admitted, while resting a hand against the pain – hoping to make it stop if I added pressure. I gasped for air, this was it, the finish I had been waiting for, "Tell him that Kira has set things right. Tell him that he's sorry that he couldn't save him before, and that he had killed him. This will make it right. It has to!"
His voice was shaking, as he cried out, instantly by my side, "Light!"
You've done well...you have more heart than I ever did…
But there wasn't pain for the very last breath. There couldn't have been pain, because I don't remember feeling it. There was only peace and calm, and the feeling of complete contentment. What had I hoped for? I thought that I'd return to Kira and if that were true, I was supposed to be damned now, right? No… I'm not like Kira. I was only a piece of his innocence, the warmth that touched L. That innocence had nothing to do with Kira. Nothing.
This is it, L. You're going to die and when you die, I won't have to worry about anything anymore. You won't defeat me. I have Rem. How do you suppose you're going to defeat a Shinigami? You won't be able to stop me and soon, no one will. Go ahead, L, make your move. We're all waiting, though any second now, at some point, Rem will go into the back and end you. The more Misa's life drops and is altered, the closer you get to your fall.
There is no time to regret.
If I let you any closer, my love, I'll be ruined.
Take your last breath and meet your end.
And your spoon, the beloved utensil of yours, I wonder if you've had your fill of sweets? Heaven will surely be accommodating, I promise. You won't live long enough to test out the Death Note. You will not be dragged under by its influencing force. It's safer for you to just die, L. And I'll miss you. It'll hurt, because there is no one else like you, L. But I pray that you forgive me, though we'll be entering two separate worlds.
The lights go out and I could hear the loud thunder crashing from outside. The storm was fitting. But you stay perfectly still, like a poetic statue, you know what's coming, it's fairly obvious. But you don't care about yourself, as you lean forward and watch as Watari crashes to the floor, his finger just barely hitting the button that deletes all the files.
Your voice is so small.
"Watari…"
Do you want to kill me, L?
No, do I want to kill you, is the question I should ask myself. For a moment, when I thought that I couldn't spare a moment of regret, was when I looked at you more closely. And I saw everything, as if I were the one dying, just everything we had been through, before I felt a chill run down my spine, and I knew that the pain had struck you. It was as if I had felt it too, shocked back into reality.
Your long body – fragile – still very alive – was falling from your chair. The angle was perfect, I could catch you. It was like time had slowed itself down, as my arms take you and I'm holding you. My smirk was telling you everything. I am Kira and you have been defeated, you are dead. This was where your eyes should have been closing, and I waited, long agonizing moments, but your heart was still beating. And your eyes were dark, and cruel.
"Mr. Yagami," L said, plainly. "This is precisely what I said would happen, did I not?"
And it felt like a joke.
L was alive and I was found out.
"How did you…Why are you alive?!"
"Raito!" My father's quaking voice held no impact, as I continued to stare at L, and was wondering, though relieved, that he was still alive.
"Why are you so shocked, when this entire time, you were protecting me? Though, the evidence that I have makes absolute no sense and defies the rule of the Death Note, it seems to be quite effective." L paused for a moment, before looking over at me, curious. "Did you not even notice what you had written in your Death Note?"
"What are you talking about-" He moved from my arms and flipped open to a page, my eyes widening when I see L's real name written down, and with detail, stating that he'd die at the age of ninety-eight. And at that time, that I couldn't remember writing it, I didn't even mask my hand writing. I saved L, this entire time? He was protected because of me, but how and when? Definitely not consciously, I was ready for his death, or so I thought.
"I purposely waited to see if this was a scam or not. You had meant to kill me, Yagami-kun, which is why Watari is no longer with us. The Shinigami, Rem, is held responsible, just as much as you are, Light." He held up the Death Note. "And from the talk that I've had with the Shinigami, Ryuuk, this Death Note is still yours. Your punishment is to watch your 'accomplishments' burn."
To watch my accomplishments burn?
Matsuda shook his head at me. "Light, how could you do this?"
To watch it burn? I started laughing, "Yes, I'm the God of the New World. Do you hear me? Kill me. I dare you. Lock me up."
"Raito…" My father sighed, disappointed, and hurt. "Your way of justice is completely obscured, it's corrupt justice. You can't truly believe that this is right."
"It won't matter in a short while, Mr. Yagami." L's voice had an amused tone to it, his eyes dark – his lips curling into a smile that told me everything. Whatever it was, he was confident that it would work. And for a moment, I felt fear, until I realized that it was L that would be doing it. L used terms like death and love in the same sentence, L would – and wouldn't do anything to harm me.
"He doesn't remember anything. After I burnt the Death Note, Light's memories of ever using the note went along with it." I opened my eyes, I had been sleeping again. I woke up to the sound of L's voice, my eyebrows furrowing from the pale light in the room. What had happened?
"Ryuuzaki…" I sat up, rubbing my eyes, before looking at him. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed, his legs to his chest, up on his feet, staring at me. I reached for his hand, but he didn't acknowledge it. Was this another test? They had been questioning me for the past five days. "If this is about Kira, I swear… When are you going to stop thinking I'm Kira?"
"There's no need to wonder anymore, Yagami-kun. In fact, no one will be calling you Kira again." He took my hand, as I was pulling it away. "It's the innocent you that I enjoy having around the most."
I was unsure on what he had meant, "The innocent me?"
"Who has saved me," he sighed, becoming lost in his thoughts, where I don't dare try simplifying. "You were there hidden inside the darkness. And now you're here once more. But it'll be forever this time."
I shook my head, "You're acting strange today, Ryuuzaki."
"Am I? Well, I also wonder if you've forgotten every aspect, even this," He leaned forward – as I felt his lips brushing over mine. How could I forget this? He pulled back a moment after breathing each other in, his breath reaching my lips, "One day, you'll go to Hell, so let's make it Heaven while it lasts, ne?"
I blinked, still not quite understanding. But I nod in agreement anyway, because this fragile life with L was more than I could ask for, this opportunity, to always be by his side was better than living. I'd die for him if asked. I'd do anything for him. Kissing him was rare, he never enjoyed the contact much, but he couldn't seem to stop touching me, to stop kissing me, and was unwilling to let me go.
You treat me as if I've died, or as if I'm going to die. What had I done? What's the secret? I'm not broken, so why do you hold me as if I am? As much as I love being this close, I promise that I will never go away. I will follow you everywhere, into the dark and into the light. Heaven, Hell… Wherever you shall reside for all of eternity, in this life and in the next, you believe me now, right?
L…
This is my Heaven.
End of Story.
Thank you everyone!
Thanks for the time and patience,
and my contant...negativity.
You were all awesome!