Chapter 10

Emily glanced at Matt, who was seated on the couch beside her. He was close to falling asleep she noted. It was the day after Christmas, and her parents had flown in that afternoon. They had been eager to see their daughter with their own eyes. They were planning to spend at least a week in LA, catching up with Emily and helping her to re-establish her life again. After an emotional reunion, her parents had elected to drive to the hotel and check in. They wanted to settle in a bit and rest from the trip. This left Emily and Matt by themselves again.

She sat there watching him drift closer and closer to sleep. Her mind was spinning over the events of the past few days. It seemed so surreal. As though it had almost happened to another person, in another lifetime. But, it hadn't. It had happened to her…well, she and Megan Roland. That thought made her mind take a different turn. Her thoughts began to focus on Megan and what she knew about her, which wasn't much. She would have to see if Lia could find out any information about her family.

Suddenly, Emily felt the overpowering urge to go and visit Megan…to pay her respects to her. She had essentially died in her place. That was an overwhelming thought. She chanced a glance at Matt again, wondering if she should wake him. She could slip out by herself and go. She could leave him a note saying she would be back later. But, she quickly dismissed that idea. She knew that he'd be upset that she didn't wake him. And, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to go by herself. Besides, she knew that Matt would know where to go. She really had no idea where the grave was.

Having resolved in her mind what she wanted to do, she turned to gently rouse Matt. "Hmmm?" he asked at her gentle nudging. He lifted his heavy eyelids as he turned toward her. "What's up?"

Emily bit her lip, unsure of what his reaction would be to her plan. "I want to go to the cemetery. I just…I need to go there. I need to visit her, pay my respects, something…" she struggled. Her anxiety was clearly written on her face.

Matt's eyes clouded over with pain instantly. "Emily, are you sure that's something you want to do? I mean…" he trailed off, not knowing what exactly to say. He began again. "Em…the stone there…it has your name on it…I'm not going to lie to you, it's hard for me to go and see that place…I don't know if I can imagine what it would be like to see your own name looking back at you. Are you sure that's something you want to do?" he questioned. He wasn't sure that he was ready to go back and face the grim reminder of what the past four months had been like. It almost seemed a lifetime ago, surely not a couple of days. He sat there on the couch trying hard not to remember the months of pain and loneliness and the countless trips he had made to that very cemetery.

"Matt, I need closure. I need to put this behind me. It's just something that I need to do…I understand if you don't want to go with me though…I can go alone," she responded.

"No!" came his hurried retort. "There's no way I'm letting you go there by yourself! I just wanted to make sure that you're sure that you can handle that after everything that's happened the past couple of days," he assured her. "Besides, I'm not quite ready to let you out of my sight yet, certainly not to go to a cemetery!"

Emily lovingly rested her hands on the side of his face. "Thank you for understanding and being so supportive." She kissed him softly on the lips. "I love you more than you'll ever know."

Matt pulled her tightly into an embrace, determined to savor every moment he had with her. He knew, now, that time wasn't something that they could take for granted. Especially in light of the place they were about to visit.

Matt gripped Emily's hand tightly. She wasn't sure if it was an effort to reassure her or himself. Regardless, she returned the gesture by tightening her grip as well. They made their way through the rows of headstones, Matt silently guiding her. He seemed to know the path well, not even bothering to check the headstones nearby to ensure they were heading in the right direction. His gait began to slow until he came to a stop.

He indicated their destination was ahead with a nod of his head. Emily glanced up to see a simple, but elegant, granite headstone. It was flanked on one side by roses that appeared to have wilted. The stone read Emily Rose Lehman 1972-2007 Beloved. A rose was etched into the stone at the top.

Emily felt the blood rushing in her head. She felt frozen to the spot. Her name…her grave…her body was supposed to be in that grave. Surreal didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling.

Matt gave her all the time she needed. He'd visited this place countless times before, leaving flowers for her each time. He'd never been good about giving her flowers while they'd been together. He made a mental note to remember to do that now that he had been given the opportunity again. Another thing to be thankful for… He pulled her closer, reminding himself that Emily was standing beside him. The woman in the grave was not the love of his life, though it was difficult to reconcile this after so many months.

Emily tentatively approached the marker. She knelt down beside it. With timid fingers, she worked up the courage to touch the headstone, tracing the etching of her name. Her hands trembled as they continued their journey, covering all that was written. Tears trickled down her face unbidden. She made no effort to stop them. She glanced back at Matt, slightly behind and beside her. His eyes were watery as well. She turned her attention back to the stone.

"I feel guilty…" she said softly. "That should be me. I should be the one in that grave. And yet…"

"Don't say that. Don't even think it," Matt countered quickly, though more vehemently than he intended. Emily looked up at him from where she knelt. Matt struggled with the incongruous picture before him, Emily beside her headstone. "You can't feel guilty for something that you had no control over. You didn't do anything to her, Em. She asked you to switch seats and you did. I'm forever thankful for that. But, Em, guilt implies that you did something wrong…and you didn't." He knelt beside her as he spoke. He gently brushed the tears from her cheek.

"I know that what happened wasn't my fault, but part of me feels guilty that I'm here, with you. I'm alive. I have my life back. Most importantly, I have you. It seems wrong for me to be so happy when she died in my place." The anguish on her face was clearly indicative of the pain that she was feeling.

"Not in your place, Em…in your seat," Matt countered. "There is a difference." He spoke slowly, making sure that she was focused on him and what he was saying. He needed her to be able to put this behind her if they were going to be able to move forward together. "She sat in your seat, Em. That's all. It isn't as though she consciously decided to take your place, knowing that the plane would crash. She only wanted to switch seats. You could just as easily blame the airline for assigning the seats that they did. It was random, Em. She didn't die in place of you Em…she just died. It was a terrible accident, but that's what it was…an accident." He finished his monologue and searched her face for a sign that she believed him.

Emily smiled at him through her tears. She reached beside her and grabbed his hand tightly, reconnecting them again. "I know you're right. I think it will just take me some time to reconcile what happened. Just being here…in this place…makes everything so much more real." She paused as she gestured. "She's really in there…in this grave…with my name on it…I can't explain how that feels…I'm not sure exactly how I'm feeling."

"I know this is difficult…really, I do," Matt said supportively. "I know that it isn't easy for me being here either…there are a lot of painful memories for me here. I visited this place a lot over the past several months, but it never got any easier. It is hard to move beyond that when your name is still on that grave," he offered thickly. He could feel his throat tightening up at the thought of what his reality had been just a few days prior.

Emily's eyes widened. An idea had struck her. They both needed closure…and they didn't seem to be finding it here in the cemetery. Or could they? Emily needed to pay respects to Megan. Matt needed to put Emily's death behind him. Emily suddenly had an idea of how they could do that.

"Matt, I want us to have a memorial service…for Megan. We'll try and contact her family and see if they want to have her body moved, but I still want us to do something for her. I think maybe that would help both of us. What do you think?" she asked with hesitant eyes.

Matt considered the idea only briefly before agreeing. "I think that's a great idea, Em. That way we can truly lay the past to rest." With that he pulled her off her knees and embraced her tightly.

Two weeks later, Matt and Emily stood together in much the same spot. This time, however, the headstone read Megan Roland 1975-2007. The couple was surrounded by Frank, Lia, Cheryl, Duff, and Emily's parents. A minister was there to conduct the brief service. All were present to commemorate the life of the young woman who died sitting in Emily's seat. Although all felt bad that she was gone, they all also felt the relief of knowing that they'd been given another chance for their family to continue its unique existence.

Lia had managed to track down the remaining family Megan had, a maternal grandmother. She expressed her appreciation for letting her know what had happened, but elected not to disturb Megan's final resting place.

The service did help to provide some closure, as Emily had predicted. Oddly, though it did help Emily a great deal, Matt seemed to benefit the most from the service. He couldn't even begin to describe the relief he felt now that there was no longer a headstone with Emily's name on it. It made him feel an indescribable feeling, somewhat akin to peace.

Matt pulled Emily closer to himself, as they listened to the minister's final words. The past few months had been an incredible journey for them…one that neither would ever hope to repeat. But, in the end, they were together and closer than ever. They had a deeper understanding of each other and a commitment that went beyond words. Eventually, they would be married, and hopefully have children to pass along the story of Emily's resurrection and how love conquered death and memory loss to win out in the end. For now, they would simply enjoy rediscovering the wonders of each other, no matter how mundane, and vow to each other to never take what they have for granted.

The End

Thanks for reading! This is the end of this story. Sorry that it took so long to get the final chapter up. Thanks to all who have taken the time to read, and especially to all those that have reviewed. You've made this a great experience for me!