*unidentified voice talking really fast* So basically all that happened was Maggie sang about food and then she passed out from a lack of oxygen. And that's what you missed on-GLEE!
Lights go up, there's crying, and I'm pacing around the stage restlessly while muttering to myself.
Me: *twitching eyelid* AAARGH! That DOES it! SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU ANNOYING, SHOE STEALING, SISTER MURDERING LITTLE BITCH!
Crying Girl: *does the exact opposite and keeps blubbering like a baby*
Me: *whirls around & opens a trapdoor & leans over*
Crying Girl: *finally stops*
Me: IF YOU EVER WANNA SEE YOUR AUNTIE EM AND UNCLE WHAT'S-HIS-NAME EVER AGAIN, YOU BETTER GET THOSE SHOES OFF YOUR FEET, MISSY! *slams trapdoor & stalks to the other end of the stage* Little bitch...Takes a dead woman's shoes...Must've been raised in fucking BARN!
Will: *does a backflip onto the stage and lands next to me*
Me: *doesn't notice him*
Will: *tugs on the skirt of my dress*
Me: *gasp* Oh, Chistery! *gets down on his current level and takes his hands* Chist, you're back! *face falls slowly* Chistery, where are the others?
Will: *motions in the direction he came*
Me: *sighs* Chistery, please, if you don't at least try to speak, you'll never-*sees Christina, stands up & crosses arms* Go away.
Christina: They're coming for you.
Me: Your mouth is moving, but all I hear is a faint buzzing sound...like a fly. An extremely...Annoying...Fly. An extremely annoying fly which I have an uncontrollable urge to kill and then laugh at.
Christina: Oh, just let the little girl GO already! And that poor little dog...Dodo.
Me: *gives Will a peanut that I randomly pulled out of the air above my head*
Will: *eats peanut*
Christina: *sigh* Look, I know you don't want to hear this, but someone has to say it...*clears throat* You are OUT OF CONTROL! I mean, COM ON! They're just SHOES, let it GO! And this is coming from ME! THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MINUTE! Elphaba, you can't go on like this!
Me: I can do anything I want. I am the Wicked Witch of the West.
Chorus Monkey (CM): *backflips onto stage, lands right next to me & hands me a folded up note*
Me: *takes it* Finally! What took you so long! *unfolds paper & glances at it* What is this? Why are you bothering me with this? *looks at it again & reads it*
The more I read, the wider my eyes start to get.
Me: *gasp*
Christina: What is it? What's wrong?
Me: *looks up at her*
Christina: ...It's Fiyero, isn't it? Is he...?
Me: *shakes head* We've seen his face for the last time.
Christina: *gasp*
AN: This part means too much to me to parody, so I'm skipping ahead.
Christina: Madame, have you ever considered how you'd fare?...In captivity?
Mary: O_O Wat?
Christina: . Son. I personally don't think you have what it takes to survivie in puh-rizzon, Madame Morrible. I hope you prove me WROOOOOOOOONG! I doubt you WIIIIIIIIILL!
Mary: *stutters*
Christina: Guards! Take her to puh-rizzuuuuuuun! Puh-RIZZUUUUUUUUUN-uh! PUH-RIZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
Mary: *is dragged off kicking and screaming*
The lights are dim, but you can still tell that we're back to the Kiamo Ko set. The sillouette of an unknown person can be seen cautiously coming onstage, glancing over their shoulder every now and then as if they're afraid of being followed.
Person: *crouches down & knocks on the floor* (whispering) It worked!
The lights come up as the trapdoor from earlier is lifted up, revealing MJ dressed as the Scarecrow. I pop up from the trapdoor.
Me: *smiles* Fiyero! *hugs him*
MJ: *hugs me back*
Me: *pulls back a little* Thank Oz! I was beginning to think you'd never get here! *smile fades* Yero...
MJ: Go ahead. Touch. I don't mind.
Me: *hesitantly touches his cheek*
MJ: Hey...You did the best you could. You saved my life.
Me: *smiles sadly* You're still beautiful.
MJ: *turns his face away* You don't have to lie to me, Fae.
Me: It's not lying!
MJ: *looks up*
Me: ...It's just looking at things another way.
MJ: *smiles*
A group of Ozians come onstage as MJ helps me up out of the hidden room.
Ozians: No one mourns the wicked. Now at last, she's dead and gone. Now at last, there's joy throughout the land...
Christina (in bubble): *on the verge of tears* Fellow Ozians...Friends...We have been through a frightening time. And there will be other times, and other things that frighten us. But if you'll let me, I'd like to try to help. I'd like to try to be...Glinda the Good.
Ozians: Good news!
Me: We can never come back...can we?
MJ: *shakes head* No.
Me: *sighs & looks wistfully over shoulder* I only wish...
MJ: What?
Me: ...I wish that Glinda could know we're alive.
MJ: So do I, love. But she can't. Not if we want to be safe. No one can ever know.
Ozians: Good news...
MJ turns around picks up my hat from where it's laying on the floor. He brushes it off and holds it out to me. I glance at it, then at him, then at the hat again before taking it and putting it on. MJ holds out his hand.
MJ: Come...
Christina: Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But...
Me & Christina: ...Because I knew you...
Christina: *crying* Because I knew you...
Me: *also starts crying*
Both of us: ...I have been changed...
I take MJ's hand. We turn and leave through the door in the Clock face.
Ozians & Christina (as MJ & I leave) No one mourns the wicked!...Wicked!...WIIIICKEEEEED!
Blackout.
AN: NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! I own nothing and no one but myself.