Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold! or Romeo & Juliet, or anything that sounds like I could make some money off of it.
Summary: What If: Mr. Simmons had never done the play in Elementary school? What if he directed it when they were all in High School instead? This is an expanded take on Helga's schemes to kiss Arnold. AxH, slight AU.
NOTE: Do I even dare try to explain or make excuses for a near three year absence? Nope.
For everyone who has stuck with me, and waited patiently for this update, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I combined two chapters together for this, so there is only one chapter left after this, plus a short epilogue.
Happy reading!
Previous Chapter's Soundtrack: While We Were Dreaming by Pink Mountaintops
Current Chapter's Soundtrack: Bitter and Sick by One Two
Chapter Ten
"Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn."
Monday. The Week of the Play.
Okay.
Okay.
"Okay," Arnold spoke steadily.
He had spent the remainder of the weekend agonizing over the events of Saturday night, and had mostly come to terms with the conclusion.
He had...feelings for Helga.
He figured that was putting it lightly, but could find no other way to describe it accurately. He couldn't classify it as liking her, exactly, because he'd never felt this way when he had liked other girls. With Helga, it was just more, and not to mention a bit terrifying and more than just a little overwhelming.
Things have always been...well, complicated between them. It was the one truly constant thing Arnold could count on, when it came to him and Helga. And his newly found (newly realized?) feelings for Helga wasn't even the craziest part of all this.
No, it was that Arnold was about 93 percent sure that Helga was seriously attracted to him. And, crazier still, he 78 percent sure that it went deeper than just attraction. He was pretty sure that Helga had feelings for him, too.
Now, what the hell was he supposed to do about it?
Arnold went through the motions of his school day in a fog, and was aware in an off handed sort of way that Gerald was growing irritated at trying to get his attention, and Helga was desperately trying to avoid him.
'Well, rehearsal will certainly be interesting,' Arnold thought as he watched Helga practically plow through people to get out the door. And, if he was being honest, he was more than a little nervous to go through rehearsal, and be in such close proximity with Helga in front of his fellow classmates. He found himself almost wishing for any of his old co-leads instead, where the chemistry had been non-existent.
When the final bell had rung, Arnold all but dragged his feet to the auditorium. However upon entering, he was quickly yanked to the side.
"Hey, what gives?" Arnold righted himself as he cast a slight glare towards his best friend.
"Why don't you tell me?" Gerald demanded, arms crossed.
The blond sighed, "I don't know what you're-
"You dare try to bullshit me? Dude."
Arnold ran a hand through his already unruly hair, "Gerald, trust me on this one. You don't wanna know."
"What, you're not still pissy that you got stuck taking Pataki home Saturday night? Look, man I -
"I'm not...pissy. I'm just," Arnold gestured lamely and sighed again, "Nevermind. It's nothing. Really."
"Nope. Nuh uh. I'm calling you on it."
"What? You can't-
"Uh, yes I can. That's the deal. I let a lot of things slide in your oddly complicated life, because usually it's best not to ask questions. And, I usually wind up in some kind of situational crisis. But, my friend senses are in high gear on this one, so just fucking spill already."
Arnold waited a beat before shrugging, and said bluntly, "Helga and I made out."
"What-!?"
"And...I have feelings for her," he shrugged again, a little helplessly.
"You...feelings?"
Arnold offered Gerald a look of sympathy, "Yep."
"But…?"
"Yeah."
"...How can-
"Look, don't try to make sense of it. You can't. I'm dealing with it. Or, I'm trying to."
"...But-
"Gerald," Arnold said sharply. "Please. You can freak out about this some other time, but I you need to just...chill. Okay? This is between Helga and I, and it's my problem."
Gerald's eyes were wide and unfocused, and his lips were a thin line, but he nodded, "M'kay."
"Good. And...if Helga were to...well, if something were to, you know, happen to me-
"I've still got that contingency plan in my room, don't worry," Gerald said with a smirk. Arnold returned it before offering his fist for their handshake.
"Arnold!" Mr. Simmons voice rang out, "Arnold there you are! I need you up here, you and Helga have just got to run your lines!"
With a sigh, Arnold made his way to the stage like a dead man walking.
"Helga...could you try to seem a little more, uhm...excited?" Simmons coached weakly. "You're marrying the man you love! Your joy should be overflowing!"
"Yeah, yeah," Helga dismissed, though Arnold noticed her attitude seemed forced.
"Alright!" Simmons pressed on with some enthusiasm, "Now, let's run through that again. And when Stinky concludes the ceremony Arnold, remember we're doing a stage kiss for this, so make sure you angle Helga away from the audience's view."
"Uh huh," Arnold acknowledged, with more than a hint of exhaustion in his tone.
They went through the marriage scene again, and on his cue, Arnold drew Helga closer while angling her just out of view. With her hands braced against his chest, and his own at her waist and the back of her neck, the two tried fiercely to avoid eye contact as their lips were a mere breath away from touching.
"Okay, just keep holding that position," Mr. Simmons coached, and Arnold was certain that Helga would be able to hear him mentally screaming. Mr. Simmons made a hum of consideration, "Yes, that works nicely. You two can-" his two leads broke apart in a flash, with several feet already between them, "...uh. Okay! Huh, let's…let's take it back to the first meeting, shall we?"
Helga groaned obnoxiously in aggravation and Arnold hung his head with a tired sigh.
"Now, now I know it seems like I'm beating a dead horse here, but this first meeting is absolutely crucial! So, everybody in this scene, please make your way to the stage…"
"Alright, now Harold remember," Mr. Simmons reminded gently, "Tybalt is aggravated, but not whiney when told to leave Romeo alone, alright?"
"Okay," Harold whined, as he moved towards his next mark.
The scene continued, and Arnold made his way to Helga. Grasping her hand as per the choreography, he inwardly fought to ignore that thrill that shot through him at the contact.
He fumbled through his lines as his heart slammed against his ribcage, and on his cue he leaned down, stopping when his lips were just centimeters from Helga's. They held the position for a few moments, waiting for Mr. Simmons cue to move on. They pulled back quickly and awkwardly, the bizarre tension clear for the entire cast and crew to uncomfortably see.
"Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purg'd," Arnold recited, and had to resist the strong urge to groan in embarrassment at how husky his voice sounded.
Helga's lips parted and her tongue darted out, wetting them, and Arnold had to fight from groaning for an entirely different reason.
"Have…" she stopped to clear her throat, eyes fluttering rapidly, "Then have my lips the sin that they have took?"
Arnold swallowed thickly at the breathlessness of her voice, and he his lines came out forced and heavy, "Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urg'd. Give me my sin again." As per the script, Arnold dipped his head as his hands gripped her arms to draw her against him, again stopping just a breath away from Helga's lips. He heard her breath hitch, and the jolt he felt low in his belly was so intense and white hot, he thought he might actually die right in that moment.
They held their embrace for several moments, awaiting their cue from Mr. Simmons with baited breaths. The air was thick around them, and several students either looked away or squirmed in discomfort.
"Good lord," Rhonda half chuckled under her breath off stage amidst a few fellow castmates, unable to believe just how accurate her previous conversation with Arnold had been. This was simply obscene! Honestly, they really should just bone, if only to release some tension.
"Okay! Okay!" Simmons called out, seeming more than just a tad unnerved about the abundance of chemistry flowing from his two leads. He nervously wondered if it would have been better without chemistry after all, "Uh, that was...we'll figure it out." He then addressed the entire cast and crew, dismissing them for the day after a few final notes. As the students dispersed, Mr. Simmons searched for his leads, who had travelled as far apart from each other as possible, "Now, Arnold and Helga, hold on for just a moment."
The two teens visibly froze before facing their director, apprehension in their faces.
"Now, I know we've got less than a week before opening night," Simmons started, "And Helga, I know it's a lot of pressure with very little time, but it is so important that your two make this work. Now, I'd like for you two to run through your lines some more. I need to two to relax, and without the rest of your classmates around, I think it might be a little easier to just focus on your lines and your cues."
"But!-"
"You can use the stage for another hour, before the custodian needs you out," Mr. Simmons firmly directed, "You both agreed to the responsibilities of these roles, and I need you to take it seriously. You have the opportunity to showcase a truly special play, here. I expect to see improvements tomorrow."
At that, Mr. Simmons made his exit, leaving both teens on the empty stage. Arnold's jaw was clenched so hard, it was starting to hurt. He glanced at Helga from the corner of his eye, and he saw a bright flush spread across her cheeks.
Once again, the only thing he could think was, 'Oh shit.'
The two stood motionless for what was, quite possibly, the longest five minutes in history.
Arnold rubbed the back of his neck, "Listen...Helga-
"Let's just get this over with," Helga said briskly, brushing past him to her mark for the scene.
Arnold sighed heavily and pulled out his script, "Alright. Let's take it from-
"You kissed me!" Helga suddenly blurted out, her finger pointing at him in fierce accusation.
Arnold's eyes widened in surprise, yet a moment later his brow furrowed defensively as he mimicked her gesture, "Well, you kissed me back!"
Helga made a squawk of indignation, "I absolutely did not!"
Arnold's eyes rolled up as he turned away with an angry grunt, "Oh, come on Pataki! You-you couldn't even keep your hands off me!"
"Me!? You were the one groping me!"
Arnold whirled around, taking wide stride in her direction, "That groping was mutual, and you damn well know it."
"Ha!" Helga crossed her arms tightly, "As if! I can easily mark the experience as one of the worst in my life."
"You are so full of shit, Helga," Arnold tossed back, face red in irritation.
"What-fucking-ever, Football Head. Why don't we just run these stupid lines, so we can go?" Helga snapped.
"That's what I was trying to do, before you-
"Just...say your fucking lines," Helga hissed.
Arnold's jaw tightened, but he pulled out his script and sighed, "...If I profane with my unworthiest hand…"
He delivery left much to be desired, and he didn't grab Helga's hand as scripted. Not that he could have.
Helga stood with her hip cocked to the side, her hands resting defiantly on her waist as she tapped her foot impatiently.
She let out a bored sigh before flatly reciting her lines, "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hands too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims hands do touch. And palm to palm is Holy Palmer's kiss."
Arnold cast her a blank look before he haphazardly tossed his script behind him. He reached out, drawing her against him, taking note of her shocked expression before capturing her lips with his own. She made a sound of surprise, and he tugged her closer as he cupped the side of her face and deepened the kiss. He felt Helga yield against him, moaning as his mouth moved against hers and he couldn't stop the deep groan of response.
Helga circled her arms around his neck, desperate to get even closer as she moved against him. Arnold wrapped an arm tightly around her waist while the other dropped lower, his hand sliding to her backside. Helga moaned in appreciation, her lips moving avidly against his.
"Arnold," she keened, her voice breathless. Arnold wouldn't have been able to formulate words in that moment if his life had depended it. All that he managed was a low, primal sound in the back of his throat as he kissed her harder. He found himself moving forward at Helga's guidance, unwilling to break the kiss as they made their way across the stage. Before he knew it, the movement ceased as the back of Helga's thighs hit the edge of the newly finished prop bed. Arnold didn't even have a moment to register what was happening, before Helga leaning back and taking him with her.
He was flush against her on the mattress, his arousal pressed firmly against her and his lips still locked with hers. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she rolled her hips agonizingly slow against his and they both moaned deeply at the contact. Breaking the kiss, Arnold rocked his hips against hers and Helga arched beneath him as she cried out, exposing the skin of her neck. Arnold dipped down, bringing his lips to the soft skin and growing dizzy at the way Helga moved beneath him.
"Oh, God. Oh, Arnold," Helga moaned breathily, causing Arnold to jerk against her as he groaned. He gripped her hips, pulling her harder against him as he captured her mouth again in a passionate kiss. He slipped a hand and her shirt, reveling in the smoothness of her skin, and the way the muscles twitched beneath his fingertips. He hand slipped higher, resting just below her bra. She arched against him urging him further as she kissed him desperately. He cupped her breast over her bra, and Helga broke from his lips.
"More," she panted, before dragging his mouth back to hers, biting his lower lip hard enough to make him hiss in pain, before she soothingly sucked it. Arnold angled his head for a deeper kiss as he slipped his hand inside her bra, cupping her breast and teasing the hard nipple between his fingertips. Helga jerked hard against him as she cried out, and her hands clutched at his shoulders, nails digging in painfully. Helga rose up, and Arnold removed his hand and moved it to her back so he could support her as she straddled him. Helga cupped his face as she kissed him so, so deeply, rolling her hips against him and making him shudder.
"Helga," he breathed. He wasn't even aware he had actually said anything, until Helga suddenly froze. She pulled away from him, and despite her suddenly wary gaze, Arnold drank her in. Swollen lips, flushed cheeks, mussed hair, and even that guarded look in her eyes couldn't mask the still hungry want in them that was dark enough to make him ache.
Her eyes darted up past him, catching the time, "We...we need to get going now."
"What?"
Suddenly, she was off him and already half way across the stage, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Helga, wait-
"Bye!"
The sound of the back door exit was like a gun shot in the empty auditorium, and Arnold was left there trying to process what the hell had just happened.
Thursday. Dress Rehearsal.
"Helga, please!" Simmons outright whined with no regards to his dignity, "Try to seem more invested in keeping Arnold from leaving! He's Romeo! Your new husband, who is about to depart for who knows how long! And you want to steal as much time with him as you can."
"Well, it's not like Football Head is giving me much to work with," Helga half-heartedly remarked.
Arnold's mouth was a thin line as he bit back a retort. Things had certainly not improved since Monday. It was the day before the play, and the students had witnessed what was probably the closest Mr. Simmons had ever come to losing his shit. On several occasions.
With great restraint, Mr. Simmons managed to speak evenly, "Let's just...try this again. Okay? And, Helga-
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Helga waved off, sitting once again on the bed and crossing her arms.
She rattled off her lines, barely moving and avoiding eye contact with Arnold. Mr. Simmons made a low sound of despair, and several students looked on with sympathy.
Arnold, following his cues, leaned over her and recited his lines. As the dialogue progressed, he inched closer as he approached his next scripted kiss. He hovered over her lips, as they were still not actually kissing until the play, and held. Helga was looking anywhere but him, and suddenly she was shaking her head, pushing him back and bolting up from the bed.
"Helga, what are you-
"I'm sorry Mr. Simmons," Helga interrupted, "But I'm not feeling well. I...I actually think I'm gonna be sick. I'm sorry, but I need to go home."
"But, Helga! This is our final rehearsal! We...we go on tomorrow night! We have to-
"I'm sorry, but I need to go home. I'm sorry," Helga repeated, her face pale. She quickly rushed off stage without another word. The students all stood frozen where they were, shocked. Certainly this play was doomed.
Arnold stared in the direction Helga had run off in, beginning to feel rather ill himself. And not just because of the play.
He had either been really spot on about his suspicions of Helga's feelings for him...or he was very, very wrong.
Hope this chapter was worth the wait!
The next chapter will be the last, followed by a brief epilogue, but it will have LOTS of dialogue from the actual play. That's why I kind of breezed through some scenes here; I just didn't want too much repetition for certain scenes.
Also, I realized that this has pretty much switched to Arnold's P.O.V. Totally didn't mean to do that, but I love writing from his perspective, so I'm not gonna worry about it too much.
Also ALSO, in case you guys haven't realized this yet but this fic is going to be VERY fluffy and sappy (and just a smidge angsty), so I sort of apologize for all the cheesiness that's still to come.
Thanks again SO MUCH for sticking with me after all these years. I seriously don't deserve it.