Part Ten
Only in a town like Sunnydale would the local travel agency be open twenty-four hours a day, and Jenny wasn't sure how she felt about the fact. For convenience purposes, it was quite handy, but she knew that those late night customers who proclaimed that money was no object were not humans but, rather, demons. However, if a vampire or something else supernaturally sinister wanted to get out of Dodge that much faster, who was she to argue with their logic? After all, one less threat was always a good thing, and she, too, was currently taking advantage of the agency's odd hours and running out of town with her tail tucked between her legs.
With her seat booked on a one-way flight to Romania, the computer expert was prepared to go home, to return to her own people. Not only did she crave their comfort, their familiarity, but staying in the same town as Giles, Buffy, Willow, and all the others was just too painful for her at that point. While she wasn't completely ruling out a return trip eventually, she just couldn't be in Sunnydale any longer. Her mistakes, while there, were simply too glaring.
Her selfish, self-preserving actions, however, still came with consequences. She was quitting her job without giving the school even the proper two weeks' notice. So late in the year, it was questionable whether or not the board would be able to find a suitable replacement, leaving both the other staff members and, more importantly, her students in the lurch. Plus, there was her apartment. She had signed a year lease when she first arrived in town, so she was going to be responsible for the rent payments even if she wasn't still in the country. Then there were the things she was leaving behind – her car, her furniture, the majority of all her other personal belongings. It would have been nearly impossible for her to pack up her entire life in Sunnydale and fit it into a few pieces of assorted luggage, and, frankly, she just didn't have the energy or the ambition for such a tedious task, so she was only taking with her the necessities – no more, no less.
Parking her car by the curb, Jenny exited the vehicle. Just as she had been showing less than stellar judgment concerning the security of her home, she left her beat up sedan unlocked as well. She was taking a taxi to the airport the following day. Without need herself for her car any longer, she really didn't particularly car what happened to it.
As she approached the door to her apartment, she realized that the outside light was burnt out… or purposely turned off. Sensing that she was no longer alone, the gypsy glanced nervously around the small walkway. While inviting trouble and danger into her life was one thing, actually encountering it was something completely different. But then a figure quickly emerged from the shadows, its shape taking form thanks to the light of the overhead moon only, and the teacher gasped when she realized who it was that had been lying in wait for her.
"Buffy!"
The teenage girl – now vampire – sauntered towards her. "Miss Kalderash," the blonde returned in greeting. Her voice was devoid of a single emotion, and it lacked anything that could be construed as an inflection. Just like the heart of its owner, the slayer's tone was completely dead. "Surprise."
"What are you… what are you doing here?"
"Well, I'm not here to kill you if that's what you're worried about," the fledgling stated flippantly. "In fact, I'm here to put your mind at rest. After all, I know only too well just how concerned you were about The Judge. Well, he's been taken care of."
As Jenny pushed her front door in, ushering the eternal seventeen year old into her home, she said, "and I see your penchant for sarcasm wasn't hindered by the transformation. Let's get this – whatever it is – over with as quickly and as painlessly as possible. Come in."
"Where was your anxiety for my pain when you allowed me to be changed," Buffy challenged, making herself comfortable in the computer expert's apartment despite not having received an invitation to do so. Before the teacher could reply, though, the new vampire was already censuring herself. "I'm sorry. That's really not what I came here for, to confront you, at least, not about that."
"Then what is it that you want to say to me?"
The gypsy descendent watched as the blonde pulled her feet under her legs and proceeded to cross them, her shoes resting upon the beige fabric of her couch. Simply stated, the slayer asked, "where did your family get off?"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean, all those years ago when they first cursed Angel, they were essentially playing god."
"First of all," Jenny stated. "It was Angelus that they cursed. The result of that curse was Angel, the man you love. Secondly, wasn't that exactly what he himself was doing when he went around killing people? Wasn't Angelus playing god as well?" Apparently, old habits really did die hard, for, even after realizing herself that her family's actions had been in the wrong, she still defended them.
But Buffy just smiled indulgently. "What's that expression that all you teachers tell your students," she asked rhetorically. "Two wrongs don't make a right, Miss Kalderash."
"Trapped by my own profession. Very well," the cyber pagan conceded. "Get everything that's bothering you off your chest. After all, this will be your one and only chance."
"Why," the recently turned vampire asked. "Are you going to avoid me from now on?"
"Well, unless you're thinking about taking a trip to Romania, I highly doubt we'll be seeing each other again anytime soon."
She hadn't intended to tell the young girl that little piece of information, but, without thought, the detail just slipped right off her tongue. However, Jenny did appreciate the moment of shock that flashed across the eternal teen's countenance. For just a moment, she felt as though she was the one in charge. However, that feeling quickly vanished, and Buffy was, once more, leading them both down a path the brunette wasn't too sure she wanted to travel.
"I guess what bothers me the most about the clause is the fact that you risked Angel's soul so callously. I mean, you didn't even warn him."
"And you can't forgive my people risking the lives of thousands of innocents, right," the computer expert surmised. "Trust me, I'm having a hard time myself wrapping my mind around that fact."
"Actually, no," the fledgling countered, this time surprising the teacher. "I'm mad – furious – that you risked Angel's life like that. Do you know how hard it is for him to live with what Angelus did, day in and day out? For years, he barely survived. He lived off the blood of rats. The guilt, the shame, the remorse, it crippled him, nearly killed him, and, while I'm not arguing with the fact that Angelus was a monster, that he deserved such pain, he wasn't Angel. Why does everyone always seem to forget that they're two separate people?"
"I'm not going to lie to you…"
"But you do it so well," the souled demon interrupted.
Jenny did not allow the words to affect her. Though the barb certainly hit its target squarely, she couldn't allow Buffy to break her down, at least, not yet. Instead, she continued as if the blonde had not interjected her snide remark. "In the beginning, I couldn't separate the two of them at all. Even now, sometimes, it's hard for me. They're just… physically, they are the same."
"I don't know if it's true or not, but some people believe that we all have someone out there who looks exactly like us. So, that means that, by what you just said, there's someone out there that could be my very twin. What if they kill people? What if they're a coked out klepto? Just because we look alike, does that make me just like them? That's how you and everyone else judge Angel."
"You know, I've never thought of it like that."
"Obviously," the slayer remarked snidely. "Angel is good. He has a soul. Angelus doesn't, and he's evil. While they might look exactly alike, they are two completely separate entities. And you risked that – you risked Angel's sanity, his very life by not telling him about the clause as soon as you found out. If anything would have happened to him…"
Reversing positions, it was Jenny's turn to interrupt the immortal teenager. "So, you're really not mad at me for what happened to you? It's all about Angel," she realized. "You love him that much."
"As much that is humanly… and demonically, too, I guess, possible." Taking a deep breath, the newly changed vampire added, "and that's why I need to thank you."
Those were the last words that she had been expecting to hear – ever - from anyone who had been connected to Buffy's transformation. In utter astonishment, the teacher simply stood in place, her mouth and jaw slack with disbelief. In that moment, as she waited for the blonde to explain herself, it would have been humanly impossible for her to look or to move away, to even blink.
"As angry as I am that you risked Angel's life, and, trust me, I'm pretty pissed. In fact, it's taken all my self-control at this point not to vamp out on you, I also know that it's because of that… that everything makes sense now."
"Well, that makes just one of us," the computer expert admitted, "because I'm completely confused."
"Before," Buffy enlightened, "I was an alive human in love with a dead demon. I was the slayer in love with a souled vampire. I was a high school student who, after school, went home to whittle wooden stakes, practice my self-defense skills, and wait for the sun to set so that I could patrol the cemeteries and streets for evil. I was barely passing history, but I could recite for you verbatim complete passages from dozens of past watchers' diaries." Summarizing her point, the slayer concluded, "my life was a complete contradiction. It didn't make sense; I didn't make sense, but, now, I do, and that's all because of you."
Standing up, the recently transformed demon went to stand by the gypsy's fireplace, and, as she talked, the younger figure looked at the dozens of pictures that lined the mantel. "I was kind of stuck before. While I wanted to have that normal teenage life, it was impossible for me, and, at the same time, I wanted to be with Angel more than anything else in the whole world, but, really, in the future, that probably would have been eventually impossible. I realize that now, and I think he's always known it, at least, in the back of his mind. Marriage, children, death, there were all these important life stages that I should have experienced eventually that he wouldn't have been able to. How does a couple get past such differences? But, now, we don't have to.
"Now, we can fight side by side without fear of one of us ultimately becoming too old to defend ourselves. He can't give me children, and, now, I couldn't carry one even if I wanted to. Now, I have an excuse not to finish high school or to, at least, get my GED without having to actually go to class. Now, I can fight without worrying that, if I turn my back for just one second too long, I'll be some vamp's dinner. It's not perfect," Buffy admitted. "Not getting any older than seventeen is going to be weird, watching my family and friends eventually pass away while I remain eternal will be difficult, and I don't even want to think about what fashion is going to be like in one hundred years, but, at least, I'm no longer torn, at least, I'm no longer trapped between two completely different lives, not really living either of them entirely. You, in your backhanded, accidental, misguided way, gave that to me, so, yeah, like I said before, thanks.
"Well, that's it," the fledgling stated, turning around to face the teacher one last time. "For what it's worth," the blonde added, taking the brunette's right hand in her own. "Good luck."
"You, too," Jenny murmured, still too stunned to really think or speak.
"And I know this isn't going to make you feel any better, but I am sorry about what happened between you and Giles. He's just… really stubborn and super protective of me."
"That's because he loves you," the computer expert shrugged, smiling wistfully, "and I can't fault him for that, Buffy."
With that, the two women parted, the eternally youthful one of them slipping out of the apartment without further ado. Sighing, the gypsy descendent collapsed bonelessly onto the carpeted floor below her. The fresh tears that she had managed to hold back during her entire conversation with the souled demon surfaced and quickly started to fall. While unrealistic, she felt as though the slayer's visit and the things she had said had somehow granted her absolution. While she was still leaving town, she, at least, would be able to do so without such a heavy heart, and, if anyone would understand her, if anyone would be able to sympathize and love her despite her flaws, it would be her own family.
"I hope that your plane ticket is refundable," a voice threatened from the shadows, emerging before she could, once more, gather herself and her startled form.
Breathing heavily from fright, Jenny regarded the hulking, slightly stooped man before her. "Uncle?"
"After everything that you have done, Janna," he said, "your family will not welcome you back home. In fact, you are never to return to us."
"What I did," the young woman repeated, questioned, trembled. "I don't… what do you mean?"
Simply, her elder stated, "you failed."
"We all fail sometimes," the computer expert wailed, defending herself. "To error is to be human. Even you, Uncle, have made mistakes in the past."
"But none of this magnitude," the older man exploded, advancing upon her before she could, once more, take to her feet. "You have shamed your people, disappointed us. We sent you here to watch over the souled vampire, to make sure that Angelus was never to experience true happiness, and what do you do? Why, you manage to secure him a lifelong mate."
"No," she argued, finding her voice as well as her feet. Even with standing, the cyber pagan had to tilt her head back to confront her livid family member. "That would be you and the rest of the family. I was not the one who cursed Angelus; I was not the one who put in a clause, and I was not the one who sent me here unprepared for all the possibilities."
"Enough," the Kalderash leader bellowed, making her shrink back in fear. "I do not want to hear any more of your excuses, Janna. From this point on, you are dead to your people."
"But Uncle…"
"You are nothing."
Just as abruptly as he had confronted her, Jenny's relative left, and she was, once more, by herself… and she always would be. Never before had she ever felt so alone and afraid.