"Is it him, Camille?" Logan asked as he stared at her. He watched her…she had a guilty look written all over her face. Her eyes…they held so much guilt. He knew she was guilty, he just needed to hear her say it.
"It's not what you think…please, let's go somewhere and talk…" Camille said as she felt she didn't want to cause a scene in front of the security guard. Logan was so angry. He grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the building. He squeezed her hand so hard, she was sure there would be bruising. She knew he didn't mean to hurt her. He was just so angry. They were in the parking lot and began walking to her car. They hopped in, but she didn't turn it on. "Logan…say something…" she said after what seemed like hours of silence.
"What the hell am I supposed to think?!" Logan asked as he stared at her. "You have fucking bruises on your wrists and I see you coming out of his fucking office looking like…" he stopped himself from finishing the sentence. He didn't want to even say that they were fucking. The thought of Camille moaning his name…it enraged him.
"We never had sex…" Camille mumbled as she stared down at her hands in her lap. She felt so ashamed and she was dreading being in the car with him.
"Don't do that! Don't you fucking dare look down. You look me in the eyes and tell me you never fucked him." he said and she turned to stare at him with tears in her eyes.
"I never fucked him…" she said acidly as she stared at Logan. Part of her was happy Logan was angry, but she still felt like shit when he looked at her.
"Was he the reason you're into all that weird, violent shit?" he asked and she began to cry and he was heartbroken. "All the shit you put me through that night…I felt like shit after we had sex. I felt like a monster for doing that to you…even if you got off on it…"
"I wasn't the only one, Logan…" Camille pointed out, but stopped when Logan glared at her. He stared at her as if she was a complete stranger.
"Don't turn this on me! I only got off on the sex…not hurting you. So, what do you and him do? Huh? I can't believe you get off on that sick shit…"
"It's not sick, Logan. Some people just like a little pain with their pleasure…it doesn't make them sick." she said feeling like a chastised child.
"Like hell it doesn't! I embarrassed myself for you! I went way out of my comfort zone for you because I thought I would make you happy if I did…" Logan said as he leaned his head back against the seat. "And knowing that he touched you…in some way, because you said you didn't fuck…it fucking kills me. What did you do with him?"
"Logan…" Camille said feeling as if he wasn't being fair. He was going to torture himself further if he knew the details of what she had done with Devin.
"Tell me…" Logan said behind clenched teeth as he stared at Camille. It was as if he was staring at a ghost of the person she used to be. "No, tell me how this shit even started."
"The first time…was when he found out about the script. He was being so mean and he said I didn't have what it takes to be Elizabeth. I wanted to prove him wrong…I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. We started reading the scene and…it was just so easy to get into character with him. He was so…raw. I struggled to come to terms with my realization that I would actually like this kind of thing…and when he saw, in my eyes, that I…not me as Elizabeth…was into it, he spanked me." Camille said as she stared at Logan. He looked like he had been punched in the stomach as he heard the disgusting details of her betrayal. He felt as if he could kill Devin for starting this. Camille was guilty, but Devin was guiltier in Logan's eyes. He started this.
"Why him?" Logan asked with a sneer. "You know what…I don't want to know why him. I just want to know why you couldn't just have asked me."
"Because I knew you wouldn't understand. You barely wanted to control me that night and you act as if I'm a sick person for wanting it…"
"I'm more angry you basically forced me into it instead of talking it over with me, first. You put me on the spot and…I was taken by surprise. You tricked me into reading that scene with you. You did the same thing with Devin."
"I didn't trick him, it just happened! He…was more convincing than you were. I didn't feel confident being Elizabeth because I knew you weren't."
"Stop blaming this on that damn character, Camille. This is something you did because this was something you wanted."
"I didn't want this until it happened! Before it happened, I only did research, but I didn't really know what it was like to want pleasure and pain the way Elizabeth did. You don't know how horrible I've felt that I didn't discover this…yearning…with you."
"But did it have to be him?!" Logan said feeling as if he couldn't even say the man's name anymore, because if he did, he could get out of the car and go up to his office and kill him. Well, maybe not kill him, but he would definitely beat him up.
"It should've been you, but it wasn't. It was Devin. I didn't want to hurt you. I was ending it, all of it, when I left his office and I saw you standing by my desk."
"Yeah right…" Logan said feeling like the biggest fool in the world. He couldn't believe Camille could do this to him. He loved her and still did, but this hurt him.
"It's the truth, Logan. He won't let me go. He gets off on controlling me and he doesn't give a shit about the relationship I have with you." Camille said and Logan let out a sigh of frustration. He wanted to believe her, but he didn't trust her enough. "Logan, you have no idea how many times I've tried walking away from him. I'm weak when it comes to him and how he makes me feel. I'm a slave to that feeling of being open and honest with myself and admitting that I like to be controlled. I like it, sometimes, when someone tells me what to do and punishes me for not doing it or doing it incorrectly."
"That's so fucked up, Camille. Why did you even go for that fucking role? Look what it did to you. You were never into being rough until that damn role…"
"I didn't know I wanted it like that before the role. Logan, I'm sorry this happened with Devin, but…I'm not sorry it happened. I feel like this whole side of me have been awaken and I like feeling this way. Be honest with me, you enjoyed controlling me, didn't you?" Camille asked and Logan looked out the passenger window. "Logan…"
"I did." he snapped. "Are you happy?" he asked as he stared at the other cars in the parking lot. He turned his head back towards Camille. There was a satisfied look on her face at his admission, but it vanished once she realized he noticed it.
"What did it feel like? How did you feel?" she asked and Logan rolled his eyes. "You know how I think you felt? I think you enjoyed controlling me because it was something different and it was a rush for both of us. You loved being in control."
"I wasn't in control, Camille. I lost control. And you…you were basically the one calling the shots. It was all in your body language…it was like you were telling how to control you. I didn't even have a choice in whether I wanted to do that or not."
"If I had given a choice…would you still have done it? Would you still want to control me and dominate me?" Camille asked as she stared into his eyes. A part of her felt guilty that she was still wanted him to control her.
"I don't know…" Logan said with a sigh. "I'm not sure what I would do. When we had sex and it just happened…I was so shocked that I did that…" he said before he swallowed hard. "I didn't like the way I felt afterwards. I felt…used." Logan said and Camille looked away to avoid his eyes. "I felt like you used me as, I don't know, an experiment for your character."
"I wasn't." Camille said as she turned her eyes back towards him. "I was trying to assess…I wanted to see if you would be into it and I thought I couldn't talk to you about it, first. Honestly, if I hadn't pushed you…would you?"
"No…" Logan said with a sigh. "I'm not that guy…I'm not like, him." he said with a sneer. He grew angry as he thought about that prick's hands all over Camille. "So, does he get off on it?" he asked and Camille inhaled deeply before letting out a sigh.
"Yes…" Camille said in a small voice and Logan sighed as Logan rested his head against the seat. "Logan, I wanted to quit. I did. I didn't want to do this anymore with him after you and I were officially back together. I tried to stop, but…"
"Don't tell me, Camille. I don't want to know…" Logan said feeling his stomach turn at the thought that his girlfriend could be addicted to this strange relationship with her boss.
"What now?" Camille asked and Logan sighed. "If you want to break up…I understand." she said as she began to cry. "I wouldn't want to take me back, either…"
"I don't know what to think right now…" Logan said as he stared out of the window and he sighed and clenched his fists as he spotted Devin leaving the building and walking to his expensive car. Just then, Camille saw Devin and she panicked.
"Logan, don't…" Camille said as she placed her hand on his leg to stop him from leaving her car. "If you hurt him…it won't solve anything."
"You think I don't know that?! Ugh, I just wish I could do something. In my head…I've beat him up a million times…I've killed him once. But, I know it's not going to solve anything if I actually do it, so I won't. That's the only promise I'll make to you." he said as they watched Devin pull out of the parking lot and onto the street.
"Logan…" Camille said as she squeezed her hand tighter on his leg to remind him of his promise to leave Devin alone. He simply sighed and rolled his eyes and he pushed her hand away and stared at her with a look that said he couldn't believe he was going to keep his promise after everything she had done to him.
"I have to go…" Logan said as he opened the door and climbed out of the car. He slammed the door so hard it caused Camille to jump. She watched him walk across the street and he pulled his phone out, most likely calling one of the guys.
Camille sat there sobbing and feeling like shit. She had lost Logan and she wasn't sure if she was ever going to get him back. She knew she didn't deserve to keep Logan. Still, there was a part of her that felt as if he should've forgiven her. What she wanted wasn't sick. The way she got it was the sick part. Devin was her boss and they crossed the line that night. A line that shouldn't have been crossed, but she started this.
Suddenly, Camille calmed down enough to focus her eyes and she started the car. After driving for about twenty minutes, she was at her destination. She was parked in front of Devin's house. She knew the address and gate code because she had to pick up a file from his house when he was out of town. At the time, she didn't think it was a big deal. Now, she was trembling in front of the glass door entrance. She forgot his house was made of mostly glass. She jumped when she saw him move from a couch to the glass doors. He slid the doors open and frowned.
"Why the fuck are you at my house, Camille?" Devin asked before she kissed him. When he pulled away, there was a smug satisfaction in his icy blue eyes as he tugged her inside his house.