WHAT WE DESERVE
(Got this idea from LilVirga. Little thing you should know, the social worker in this is like always happy (and creepy) so he doesn't get mad or anything.)
Social Worker: So um.... I got a few complaints from some residents in this house that child abuse is going on in here.
Lightning: Who did that? *looks at Nix* (Yes they went with the Eidolon names)
Nix: Don't look at me. (make sure you use a baby voice)
Odin: Nix..... Did you do this?
Nix: No! It was Bahamaut I swear!
Bahamaut: Nuh uh!
Nix: Yea huh!
Bahamaut: Nuh uh!
Lightning: *rolls eyes* Sir I can explain. Me and my husband... we-
Social Worker: WHOA! You have your Eidolon as your husband right? Odin? I love that guy!
Odin: Lesbian! Lightning he's a lesbian!
Lightning: NO! He means he's a fan of you dummy!
Odin: Oh... Sorry...
Lightning: Anyways, me and my husband, Odin, we don't always get along and when we don't, sometimes we take our anger out on our kids.
Social Worker: Well, you shouldn't do that! If these are your children, they need to be treated with the proper respect!
Bahamaut, Nix: No freakin' duh!
Odin: *snaps fingers* Quiet over there! You were saying sir?
Social Worker: Uh, uh, uh, see that right there was the improper way to snap at your children. *walks to their kids*
Lightning: *whispering to Odin* If you snap at your kids, how is there a RIGHT way?
Odin: *shrugs*
Social Worker: Its OK kids. Your daddy didn't mean it.
Nix: Who the crap are you?
Social Worker: Oh such foul language! Do your parents curse around you?
Nix:....... That was not cursing....
Bahamaut: I don't get it. Why do social workers and people try and 'talk' with their kids when smacking their behind works way better?
Social Worker: Because, young man, it WORKS!
Bahamaut: OK number one: You don't call me young man and number two: It SO doesn't work.
Social Worker: Oh yes it does! With my techniques, we'll have you kids straightened out in no time! *walks to Odin and Light*
Nix: *whispers to Bahamaut* Do I look wrinkled to you?
Social Worker: Now! First we start with the corner trick!
Lightning: Corner?
Social Worker: Yes! All we have to do is wait until they do something wrong and .... WHAM! You BANG their heads against the corner!
Odin: WHAT? I'm not gonna purposely throw my kids into a corner!
Lightning: Well you had no problem throwing my kids to the other side of COCOON!
Odin: I TOLD you they came BACK!
Lightning: I don't CARE they could've DIED!
Odin: So you don't care that they came back!
Lightning: That's not what I MEANT!
Social Worker: Uh, uh, uh, mom and dad! No fighting!
Lightning: Did he just call us mom-
Odin: And dad?
Social Worker: Now! Give each other a bug hug and kiss!
Odin, Lightning: *shrug* *make out*
Social Worker: *smacks the back of Lightning's head* No, no, no! No making out in front of the kids!
Bahamaut: Na, man. Its cool.
Nix: Yea we're used to it.
Social Worker: *gasps* Shame! Your children are used to you two making out? They'll never grow up to be young, kind adults!
Odin: *stops kissing* Look guy. They don't mind, nothing happened. Now listen, you're starting to bug me. Please just leave.
Social Worker: Well I CAN't leave.
Lightning: *shows her fist* Want me to MAKE you leave?
Social Worker: Tsk, tsk, tsk, such violence. Apparently, I cannot leave until my time is up.
Nix, Bahamaut, Odin, Lightning: YOUR TIME IS UP! ITS UP ITS UP ITS UP!
Social Worker: Well, as many complaints I got, my time is nowhere NEAR over!
Lightning, Odin: *look at Nix and Bahamaut*
Nix: I didn't do it.
Bahamaut: Yea she did!
Lightning: Shouldn't it be OUR decision on when you leave?
Social Worker: Well, according to the mayor.......
Odin: WHO CARES ABOUT HIM? GET OUT!
Social Worker: I'm not to leave until I see improvement and SO FAR, its been getting worse!
Lightning: AGH! Get out before I shoot you!
Social Worker: *gasp* Usage of weapons in your house? Such actions are not tolerated! *tries to take Nix and Bahamaut*
Lightning: Put my babies DOWN! *chops Social Worker's head off* *picks up Bahamaut and Nix*
Nix, Bahamaut: MOMMY!
Lightning: Who wants to tell mommy which one of you sent complaints?
Nix: Bahamaut!
Bahamaut: Nix!
Odin: Babe, it doesn't matter. We took care of it.
Lightning: Aw..... *drops kids* *makes out with Odin*
Nix: Please stop its gross.