Darkon: And now for something completely dif… bizarre, off the wall and well it explains why Naruto is always wearing the orange jumpsuit, also Maito Gai appears here and next chapter… as the usual comic relief that he is or the cosmic eldritch horror he seems to come off as. (And trust me I know an eldritch horror when I see one, I am the one that made chthulu the insane tentacle faced creature of madness what it is today and that was because I just stared at it too long or did I already tell that story?)
Trio: Anyway Darkon has decided that this story will continue to make a halfway kind of sense as it usually does, but there's going to be a lot of weird shenanigans attached to it especially when we get to the first special summoning dude.
(Title sequence)
Song: Tubthump-ing/er by Chumbawamba.
We'll be singing, when we're winning…
Scene: The view passes over an out cold Naruto with his chest wrapped in bandages with a soggy coiled up Viper on his belly laying next to an equally out of it Isaribi with a bandaged forehead next to a recently destroyed Bridge in Wave as the scene pans out, they were all at peace.
We'll be singing…
Scene: The title 'To Kiss a Snake' in white with black bordering overlays the previous scene of the out cold heroes and fades out in flash of orange, yellow and red.
I get knocked down, but I get up again you're never going to keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again you're never going to keep me down.
Scene: Quickly highlights Naruto taking the hit from Gato's Machine for Zabuza plays, he swiftly get ups even while coughing up blood.
I get knocked down, but I get up again you're never going to keep me down, I get knocked down, but I get up again you're never going to keep me down.
Scene: Amachi throws Viper hard against a solid metal wall and to Naruto's horrified face in the background she quickly launches herself back at the transformed monster, trying to pin him down using the entirety of her body to wrap around him, after Viper couldn't take much more Isaribi joined the fight.
Kissing the night away, Kissing the night away…
Scene: Viper is inside Naruto's sleeping bag and snuggled up to Naruto flicking her tongue into his neck causing him to squirm a bit in his sleep, Isaribi was on her stomach smiling at the two before she rolled over and pulled the sleeping bag in front of scene leading into the next one.
She drinks a kissy drink, he drinks Viper drink, she drinks a lot of drink, they drink a 'kind of' drink.
Scene: Shows Viper launching herself at Naruto mouth wide open, flashes to showing Naruto actually kissing Viper the first time, flashes to Isaribi swimming with incredible speed through the ocean with Naruto on her back, flashes to the three of them drinking ramen broth from three separate bowls.
He'll sing the songs that remind him of the good times.
Scene: A smirking Naruto on a black background with passing faded images of everyone who's been relatively friendly to Naruto including: Iruka, Teuchi, Ayame, Ibiki, Idate, Old Man Hokage Sarutobi, Zabuza, Haku, Isaribi, Anko and Viper.
She'll sing the songs that remind her of the best times.
Scene: A broadly smiling Viper on a black background with passing images of her first kiss with Naruto, Naruto taking care of her after she got beaten up badly by Amachi, when Isaribi decided to follow them around and when she caused Aoi to slam face first into a tree.
Oh don't be coy… don't be coy… don't be coy…
Scene: The view was Viper on the same black background which shifted around and it showed that she was looking at Naruto before she fluttered her eyes seductively at him and gave the audience a wink as he started running away and Viper promptly shot after him.
(Music continues into a repeat but is showing various scenes from the fan fiction mostly involving cats until...)
Don't cry for me, we'll still do each other favors.
Scene: Nabi the two tailed cat was huddled up to the distraught nine tailed fox trying to cheer her up with cuddles, before Kyan had enough of it and threw a cheeseburger she just formed from out of nowhere using one of her nine wilting tails and Nabi ran after it leaving Kyan to wallow like she wanted to.
(Music continue into the third repeat up to the point the trumpet starts)
Scene: Is showing the trio walking down the road of life as the trumpet plays in the background, until Naruto accidentally trips and three kunai miss impaling him in the back, Isaribi and Viper looked to each other and nodded before instantly turning around and taking up combat positions, with Viper shielding Naruto with her parasol from more kunai and Isaribi started summoning water clones that shot out to fight three missing ninja from stone country, the scene quickly fades out.
(The music continues to repeat and starts to fuse some parts of the song showing Naruto, Isaribi and Viper singing the three parts, until the song fades out completely as the fight from the previous scene comes back into view and happens to have ended)
Scene: As the music slowly dies down Naruto, Viper and Isaribi walk/slither away from the defeated team of missing ninja with bruised bodies but they were smiling about it as they continued down the path of life and it ends with Naruto raising his sword to the sky.
(Darkon: Now back your regular daily scheduled fan fiction, in fact you can probably ignore the title sequence… oh wait… it's a little late for that isn't it? Um… Sir… START 'ER UP QUICKLY!)
Sir: Right away Darkon, begin chapter.
Chapter 10: Day of the White jumpsuit.
It had been three days since they left, but they were well on their way… to where… they really didn't care as much as it was a guess as maybe even Naruto didn't know where they were heading, however he did express his need for supplies that he couldn't readily get in Wave to finish his idea for building his mobile base, but there were still a few problems with how to keep it stealthy as he already had building plans made with the help of a still very sore Tazuna, Viper exclaimed that she would like to look over what Naruto had come up with while they had lunch and Isaribi was curious as maybe she could use seals to help with whatever Naruto came up with, they went back into fire country by one of the two boats they had sealed away and stayed out of any towns they came across making sure to keep a low profile.
Zabuza and Haku both stayed in Wave, no surprise there as they wanted to continue helping the people for a while longer in case they missed any bandits, so the three set on their way talking about how the fight went and how much like ninja's they weren't being and about how the supplies they did get were completely worth the blood and pain because they did a good thing, the women of Wave were just short of getting raped and they put a stop to it, they also had a nice place to stay at because Tsunami was one of the friendliest people they could ever meet and Kaiza was a wonderful man to be around, although the builder Tazuna begrudgingly dropped his grudge as a new bridge was under way to being built after they trawled the area where it was destroyed to make way for the new construction, which left Isaribi with a pile of scrap metal that Naruto would later use in his base construction plan.
"Naruto stop fretting over the fact that your clones went a tad weird, which is par for the course that is our lives so far, I'm making friends with every single cat I meet and I find that disturbing like the fact that Nabi likes me as well stating that she wants to cuddle me and Isaribi is dealing with the fact that she just might be bisexual as well as asexual because of her serpent nature" Viper seriously did not want to be near Nabi whenever she had wanderlust and wandered from out of Naruto's body but she didn't go more than a good fifty feet away before she shot back into Naruto since she was worried about Kyan's current mental state even if the fox couldn't self terminate or be killed, that is to say even if Naruto dies and takes her with him it wouldn't affect her as she'd be back in the world in about two years at the most and five seconds at the least, she was to important to stay out of commision for long.
"But they did some awesome stuff and I didn't get any of their memories of how they did it" Naruto wasn't one to whine often, but it was one of the things he was good at and they really weren't paying too much attention to Isaribi's blush for her benefit because for one thing she might have liked Idate quite a bit but then there was the fact that she liked Haku about as much, they couldn't say anything without her asking something about how their date went and they both refuse to give any detail about it because of how awkward some of it was at the ramen stand the people of Wave set up overnight while they slept well past twelve hours into waking up the next day from their injured or tired state.
"Naruto why are you so gung-ho for learning about a technique that sounds to be nothing close to what a ninja does, I mean how are you posed to keep something like what you described stealthy" Isaribi had heard about the giant water sphere attack and his clone doing an impressive display of using a jutsu to replicate the effect of a snow country howitzer leading the damage done to the machine to be quite bad for how well armored that thing was, the machine had been crushed under the rubble of the bridge but apparently Gato died a slow death in a pocket of air underwater until he either ran out of air, drowned or his body bled to death from being pinned inside the machine it seemed like whoever they fight ended up in some kind of gruesome death or just excruciating pain, not that anyone wonders where Isaribi got all the scrap metal from.
"Hey I'm plenty stealthy, I just need more techniques for taking out heavily armored or defensive opponents, Gato might not have been an impressive man to look at when his dead and drowned body was fished out but his machine broke my ribs without an ounce of trouble" Viper looked between the two of them and decided to put the tail down on the conversation and change the subject while she was at it, because it was not a good idea to question Naruto's stealth capabilities he was the one who could bypass ANBU level ninja after all and it seemed killing a bunch of people didn't seem to cause Naruto that much trouble anymore.
"Both of you are right, Naruto the Uzumaki Tornado Cannon Barrage you told me about sounds like a brilliant long range attack to have and it does give you credit towards eventually being labeled a 'Ninjutsu Howitzer' in the Bingo Book since you can probably rain a storm of metal on someone once you can figure out how you did it the first time from maybe a mile to half a mile away going by description and that'd be quite a handy skill to have, Isaribi is right in the fact that we need to work on being stealthy but we did technically do that when we rescued those people at the bridge I mean we both managed to get around a crowd of bandits twice without notice and Naruto doesn't really need to work on his as he's as good as he can get, so when's lunch and where are we going now guys" Isaribi wondered what Viper was talking about, Naruto didn't seem the slightest bit stealthy in fact he wore orange and talks loudly, so how can someone like that be stealthy not to mention take a freelance job as a ninja in the first place. (Sir: Naruto does not know the shadow weapon jutsu to perform the barrage part)
"There should be a town or city up ahead, Tanzaku I think it's called and what stealth, I haven't seen Naruto do anything to hide his presence at all since I met him" Viper froze in her slithering along through the woods and she turned to Isaribi, now she's done it and Naruto was going to show his trick off again; he always gets a swelled head because of it, but it would show Isaribi why Naruto couldn't be found in the middle of a wide open field with nothing to hide behind and Naruto would even prove to Isaribi that the way he acted was actually very reasonable for a ninja that likes to obfuscate stupidity, but then again Naruto is actually that hyperactive and from what Viper knows it doesn't affect his ninja ability and if it did, it would make him far better than most ninja's.
"Well now, I guess it's time I showed you one of my special tricks for hiding in plain sight Isaribi let's stop for moment so I can change clothes in a tent, since we're going into town and I don't want to be found by anyone especially since we're in fire country, plus I don't want to go in while using my stealthiest jutsu or else someone may figure out how to counter it" Viper sighed as Naruto popped a tent out of a storage seal and went inside, she turned to Isaribi with a glare as she had problems with Naruto exclaiming his greatness and it was hard to keep him as level headed as she had him, now Isaribi had to go and get him to do this again as it was annoying the last few times Naruto used this trick to avoid her while they were still in konoha and incidentally this was also how he painted the hokage monument without getting spotted and he's painted it at least three times as a prank without being caught using other methods of stealth then the one he was about to show, the security of Konoha was just that bad. (Trio: Naruto of course is talking about a modified shape shift dude.)
"What's he talking about Viper" Viper had a blank expression on her face as she looked to Isaribi, before she yawned slightly and then decided to tell her traveling companion about Naruto's stealth capabilities something Isaribi hasn't had to witness yet, Viper has however witnessed it and that's why they were only accosted by one border patrol on a well traveled road while heading towards Sea country because Naruto was getting pretty darn cocky about his ability to hide.
"To put it succinctly any ninja could do stealth at night… Naruto is a ninja that can disappear in broad daylight because of a story he read before he met me and after a while of going back to reading it he finally asked me to get him some white clothing like what he was wearing… it took me forever to find an entirely white jumpsuit, white shinobi sandals and I just had to make sure all of it was entirely white with no other color at all and in a one size fits all category, also there is a ninjutsu he could use to hide his presence but it would be for emergencies and or perverts only" Isaribi raised a curious brow to Viper in question before motioning with her hand to carry on but Viper stared at her as if expecting a question, Isaribi sighed. (Up to this point Naruto has never used his shape shifting prowess in front of Isaribi)
"Okay what was the story about, what does it have to do with a white jumpsuit and how does it come around to Naruto disappearing in broad daylight when white is clearly visible at all times of day" Viper looked away from Isaribi rubbing the tail against the back of her head looking a bit embarrassed.
"Would you believe that I didn't believe that it would work at first either, but clearly the story Naruto read was real and I was skeptical until I saw it myself and trust me it's unbelievably interesting to how the trick actually worked and… well it's quite fairly unbelievable even if I were to tell you so I don't want you to…" Viper was starting to ramble and it didn't suit her one bit from Isaribi's perspective as Viper looked to be having problems trying to tell the story, only to be stopped by Isaribi holding up a finger.
"Just tell me the story first and then explain what you think is so unbelievable, I'll draw my conclusion when I see for myself what Naruto's trick is" Viper knew Isaribi was going to be skeptical but she inhaled and thought of the story she read herself, she still thought it was strange that it was one of the few books Naruto found discarded in his childhood which is initially written off as a fable and clearly not possible by ninja standards as it was something someone did without the need of chakra or anything other then what he wore.
"Well it is the story of a human samurai warrior of the light and a humanoid demon named 'Shinobi' who was a warrior of the darkness possibly what ninja's name themselves after today but that demon was a true master of stealth, the story is called 'White Samurai" the reason for the title of the book is what caught my interest and it explained exactly why Naruto wanted that white clothing, for you see the demon was invisible when the world lacks light who had red eyes and a sword as black as it's cloth like skin called 'Night Swallows' slayer of a thousand heroes and it sought out a warrior that was said to be able to equal or even best him a demon of the darkest night…" Viper trailed off seeing that Isaribi was entranced so far she coughed before continuing, as she had seen Naruto slip out of the tent and ran into a nearby open field and a few seconds later he was gone despite not having any cover out there at all.
"As it so happens the warrior was a normal nameless normal human who was raised to protect the peace wherever his travels and the wind would take him that wore a flowing white robe and occasionally a straw hat, he was never given a name but his sword was called 'Light Bringer' as it was said to never be able to stain with the blood of an innocent and it had a unique powers that allowed it to stop any powerful demon from healing once struck by this sword, another strike tends to weaken greatly and since it couldn't be stained by anything it would always give off a white sheen, it was said to be powered by the gods itself to slay true evil in the world and Shinobi was a assassin that worked for greater demons assassinating heroes who would dare to figure out how to stop the most vile of demons, he however knew he wouldn't survive one blow of the sword, so he set the place for when he would face the samurai on equal grounds" Viper stared out into the fields and narrowed her eyes she focused as hard as she could, but she saw what she was looking for and that was the barest of movements in the very air itself, before she turned back to Isaribi who wondered what Viper was looking at when she stopped talking.
"Light Bringer… a champion to the gods, for the world would be balanced again… I was probably asleep whenever the kit was reading it… maybe it was time someone took it up again… and used it on me…" Kyan muttered slightly still in quite a bit of a funk while her ears were twitching up a storm at hearing Viper's story through Naruto's ears, while Nabi's eyes widened.
"The Light Bringer of demon legends, to be bestowed to a single mortal who will seek out true evils and only fight the lesser if they attack first, that was the sword once wielded by mistress snowb… retainer… oh, right…" Nabi didn't say any more as her mistress was glaring at her, it wasn't a very angry glare it's just that mistress Kyan probably didn't want to even hear her wife's cute nickname at this point, the Light Bringer was the ultimate sword for killing a demon with any ill intentions or thoughts only a truly good demon would survive more than three direct hits from that sword and the word 'good' meant extremely in combat; as getting hit once was close to that of a death sentence for lesser demons, or friendly in life; as in going completely against what was expected of them and actually being truly like that of a saint, and actually meaning it.
"The human was a young man who unlike most samurai didn't wear armor and only bore a bright white robe, some underwear and a straw hat as his only equipment besides his white sheath where the sword resided he had long black hair kept in a simple knot and was well traveled and strong with the life he has led being incredibly humble and polite, he was challenged by a duel in a building full of holes sitting on the edge of a beach as the sun sets and if he could strike down the master of fading shadows Shinobi himself before the light of the sun goddess was completely gone from that part of the world, he the samurai would live for another day and if he didn't the darkness would consume him through the demons sword blackened with blood of those that fought before him" Isaribi was beginning to see where this might be going, a battle against a creature that hides in the darkness and as the world grew darker the samurai would have less room to maneuver and fight, it seemed to be a suckers fight.
"That was the samurai's incentive to end the fight at its earliest convenience however that's not how things went, it started with Shinobi standing in the light and the samurai wrapping himself in his own robe in the darkness to mimic that of what a ninja would wear exclaiming that the battle would be even they would fight in the shadows of their element both light and dark, any questions yet Isaribi" After all this Viper was expecting some sort of a question like why it was taking Naruto so long to get dressed or something like that, Isaribi gave her a look that said continue or else.
"Very well, the samurai and demon rushed each other clearly visible in the dark and light to each other however when the samurai crossed into the light and launched an attack with his sword, at the same time Shinobi crossed into the darkness while doing the same, neither had struck their target but each other's sword and it was time for a game of cat and mouse that was in Shinobi's favor however when he turned around he couldn't see the samurai for the samurai had disappeared into the light like he himself disappeared into the darkness" A scene played out in Isaribi's head as two figures ran towards each other and promptly vanished into thin air in a clash of metal and then she played out a scene of Naruto wearing an all white jumpsuit and doing the same thing, but she could hardly imagine that as being possible without magic or chakra.
"The samurai then made it known that like how Shinobi learned to walk the darkness; he learned to walk the light and thus the battle continued as they struck out at each other carefully timing their strikes and movements from shadow to shafts of ever dwindling light they climbed the interior of the building fighting among the many rafters disappearing and reappearing at great speeds until finally… no one knew why Shinobi did it or even why the samurai looked on in remorse afterwards, but Shinobi the demon of shadows stopped in the light and stood still where the samurai threw his sword through the demons heart killing it instantly as the last shafts of light started to fade from the building the samurai watched as the demon's body slid off of his sword instead of death by being destroyed by the blades power" It sounded like the end of the story so Isaribi finally went to speak up but Viper held up her tail and Isaribi paused with her mouth halfway opened.
"Not done yet, the blade had just ripped up the demons body where it slid off bloodlessly but it did not much else to the body as the sword was known for instantly destroying the body of a demon when finished, the samurai looked on the dead corpse and slowly picked it up to carry it out into the woods, the samurai dug a grave for the demon and buried it with its sword before saying a word of peace to the demon for a battle well fought, years later a beautiful tree sprouted from whence the demons body had been buried, it made shadows in the day to protect the weak and it made light at night to guide the lost for it was powered by the spirit of the dead warrior that sought to help a thousand people and maybe more to make up for each person it killed to balance itself out, there now I'm done" Isaribi had to admit that the story was interesting but she still couldn't understand something about it, so she figured it was time for questions and answers.
"So did the samurai ever use chakra and if not how did he manage to turn invisible in the light" At this Viper smiled slightly while pointing out towards the field, looking in the direction she pointed Isaribi couldn't see anything out there or why Viper continued to look out in that specific direction, but then again viper couldn't see anything except for something barely visible from her perspective which was a lot closer to the ground.
"To answer your question no, the samurai couldn't use chakra but it is possible for every single being alive to do so to varying degrees, but if you so much as touch anything, get touched by a shadow and move too fast you'd become as visible as you think Naruto looks while wearing a bright orange jumpsuit, from what I can tell it's a optical illusion of the light since the first thing you'd look for is his jumpsuit and that's the main problem you can't see him while he's surrounded by light completely otherwise it's not very useful as there are plenty of things that can disrupt the trick" Isaribi didn't see anything or what Viper was looking at but she was sure the snake saw something and she herself was trying to see what that was, however from her perspective she wouldn't be able to see it well enough as it required to be looked at from a lower angle.
"What became of the White Samurai and is Naruto really just standing out there" Isaribi was nothing if not skeptical to the fact that anyone could become invisible by wearing white clothing in broad daylight, but the story did leave questions unanswered.
"Oh no, he's moving and breathing alright; if ever so slightly, he could still move slightly faster and not be seen and as for the samurai that was just one story in a number of books about the legends of the White Samurai, but as far as I know the samurai died of natural causes when he finally set the world to the way it was supposed to be and sired a few children with his loving wife, from what I hear he was buried but it wasn't with his sword and the weapon was never found" Inside of Naruto, Kyan flicked one of her tails back in forth in thought as she knew where it was, only Naruto would never be able to wields it as a person can only wield one celestial weapon in their lifetime and never touch another unless they are a celestial themselves for whom the weapons have no such restrictions.
"Maybe I'll tell him where it is when he finds someone who truly needs it, the world's gone to crap with true evil these days" Kyan was beginning to feel something akin to whimsy but then squashed it, when would there be anyone who was innocent enough to wield a blade to kill anything that isn't innocent without going power mad trying to take justice into their own hands.
Viper after seeing that Isaribi couldn't see or even find Naruto by her eyesight held up her tail in front of her mouth in a shushing gesture, before she coiled herself tightly and looked for the only visible thing on Naruto's body and when she had herself focused well enough she launched a Kiss of the flying snake perfectly into Naruto's waiting lips who appeared from out of the blue with a shocked look on his face as he was suddenly plowed into by the ever amorous love of Viper as she started wrapping around him knocking him passionately to the ground.
Isaribi had blinked hard, rubbed her eyes and blinked hard again, there was no way that that should have been possible and yet there he was and a moment ago that looked like thin air to her.
"How did you find me out here" Finally Naruto had managed to ask that after Viper had finished getting her daily kiss in, her tail slowly trailing little circles on his cheek.
"Your whisker marks of course, in the story the demon was visible in light and so too are the marks of a demon… it's just that a person is not able to see them from anywhere except a really low angle" at that Viper gave Naruto a big smile and he cursed the fact that Viper knew how to spot him now, not that she couldn't track him by scent before but she had a hard time seeing him at all to get him into a lip lock the last few times he's done this, he had asked why the hyuuga couldn't do this and Viper gave the answer that they weren't aware of it, they didn't wear straight white clothing and they were aggressively taijutsu stuck ninja's that were really stunted because of their ways so sitting still wasn't in them, not to mention that it's not very effective for offensive purposes and it wasn't good for defensive purposes either unless you knew what you were doing and Naruto did in fact know how to use it but from what they both know of the story he hasn't mastered it yet as he can't instantly blend into the light and it took a few moments of slow movement for him to drop his visibility to nothing.
"Okay sister-in-law if you're done kissing my brother can we please go into Tanzaku now or are we going to sit here and have lunch" Naruto opened his mouth to talk, only for Viper to take that as another invitation and Isaribi rolled her eyes at Viper not being done in the slightest as she took a good opportunity when she saw one, they were having lunch just shy of reaching the large town or small city with a castle.
Minutes later they were having lunch, Ramen for Naruto as usual and it was chicken flavored, Viper was having fried large rat with a rather nice cooked goop made of crushed beetles as a garnish which Naruto admits to having tried once since it was one of the earliest sources of meat he has ever had that he liked as long as it was cooked, Isaribi didn't get disgusted as she was the one having the bug soup that was used to garnish Vipers rat with a bit of extra flavor and the soup had a few carrots they got from Haku because her rabbit found a nice patch before they left, along with some onions and a bit of garlic, Isaribi was currently learning 'Ninja Survival Cooking 101' and she actually liked it except the one section about eating snakes which she promptly ripped out and used for making their current campfire to cook with, much to Vipers relief and eternal gratitude.
Speaking of which Haku wanted to train a rabbit to be an effective ninja pet or partner to do the kind of stuff Viper could as she was effectively under most ninja's radars, Viper couldn't help but point out that a pet she was not nor would she ever act like one unless circumstances dictated otherwise and then she gave Haku tips on how to train the rabbit from a modified view of how an Inuzuka's training goes as she doubted the rabbit would come anywhere near her to learn anything because she just might eat it, Viper wondered how that would turn out and didn't bother to worry over it too much as they had gone their separate ways, when asked Haku said the rabbits name was 'Caerbannog' which for some unknown reason sent chills down everyone's backs. (Caerbannog can be pronounced Carbon-no, carbon-nog and Kay-er-Bah-know)
"So what do you have for a mobile base Naruto and how good was that old man at designing stuff I mean his bridge didn't stand up to my mushroom makers and I doubt… oh now you've got me calling them mushroom makers; the next bridge we come across will not survive my mushroom makers either since it's my turn, as I was saying I doubt that whatever we build will be protected from explosions in case we ever needed to set some up near it" the girls watched as Naruto set his master plans for a base on the ground between them and they both looked it over, Isaribi was silently recalling the fact that Zabuza paid them back quite a sum just to have quite a few of her 'mushroom makers' and quite frankly she was beginning to agree with the name of the explosive level for them, though one wondered what Zabuza was going to do with so many of them.
In the hidden Mist village a huge mushroom cloud is seen rising up from a completely evaporated tower and the dead body of the leader; the 'Mist Shadow' himself, was seen falling to the ground a burnt skeleton corpse that once contained a sealed demon, the entire general area around the tower was completely destroyed for up to sixty feet and standing outside the slowly shifting cloud of dust that was pushing the mist away were two men with red clouded cloaks who groaned in anger as they saw this as it was about time to collect the demon from the guy that had just obviously died in a violent explosion, some mastermind had to be screwing with their organization at this point. (Sir: Naruto isn't a mastermind per say, but the fact that Zabuza would coincidentally destroy that particular demon container makes an eerie kind of sense considering he is the one Zabuza rebelled against in the first place to end up as a missing ninja)
In another realm the three tailed demon saw what it had just avoided thanks to some commentary from the shinigami otherwise called a reaper passing by with a jaunty 'hello' as it gathered the souls of the people that had just died and that was when the demon decided to stay out of the elemental nations and stay dead for a good fifty years until the people trying to capture tailed demons to break 'that particular seal' issue was resolved, besides it needed a vacation from that asshole who turned his previous container into crazy bloodline killing maniac, it was finally free to read it's Princess Peach manga in peace if it weren't for the fact that there was a sad soul sitting on its back reading over its shoulder, that soul was somewhat happy to finally be free and his name was Yagura he in fact learned that Zabuza had a right to rebel and that Kisame worked for the guy that made him bat shit insane.
"You seem to be attracted to long haired blondes who wear pink dresses… I never knew you liked human women, you have good taste" Yagura stated somberly even though he was now dead he might as well enjoy it.
"Well excuse me for being a small part of your insanity driven mind, thank you by the way" this was the giant three tailed turtle of whirlpools, tsunami's and monsoons… also known for taking baths in volcano's underwater or above for some unknown reason and is able to breathe fire as well as fly by spinning around inside his shell and releasing fire from his four limb holes and was once in love with the great medic ninja whose name was Tsunade but knew it would never have worked out and faked his death though he was saddened to hear she became a raging alcoholic afterwards, he still cried about how his adopted human sister died too as one of the more friendlier demons alive he cared about human life and he wondered if he should watch over Tsunade as the spiritual form of "Dan the average ninja" to see how she was doing and to think he spent so many a year as a false human looking for the perfect woman who packed a shell breaking punch, maybe he should comfort her and finally tell her the truth so maybe she'd get over him. (Darkon: he's to nice to live a lie... quite sad that)
After finishing a rather lengthy discussion about how the mobile base was going to be built Naruto's little group finally started to decide on how to head into Tanzaku and Viper brought up the discussion of stealth once again.
"Before we go into town we don't have a clue if we've been seen or not traveling around Fire country and given how many spies there were in Konoha it's safe to say we've been spotted at least a few times, Naruto you're going to need to sneak into town given that it's nearly noon that shouldn't be too hard for you just be on the lookout for anyone suspicious, I'm going to scout the area to see if I can find out if there were any people waiting for an orange jumpsuit wearing loudmouth; that you present yourself as, to appear and maybe see a few contacts about any ninja's in the area, Isaribi you're going in as a normal civilian you'll be grocery shopping and you will get us a hotel room with one bed as to not arouse suspicion nobody knows you by description because Konoha only got a view of your serpent form which you haven't used in a while, me and Naruto can take the floor and you'll be getting the bed for tonight" After that they gave Naruto a ten minute head start as he made his way towards town, then Viper gave a Isaribi a few words of how to act normal and to not walk like a ninja before she disappeared into some nearby grass, leaving Isaribi to herself to wonder how this will all go.
In town there were quite a few things happening, it was like a year round festival here and it was easy for Naruto to slip in unnoticed by anyone and that included half a armies worth of assassins and ninja waiting all around Tanzaku he was invisible to all who were looking for him as he was still wearing his white jumpsuit that might be true in a literal sense as well as the fact that no one could recognize him, which was followed by Viper when she started cataloguing; by level, every single danger Naruto had circumvented getting into town and finally Isaribi just walked in meandering into town and nobody paid her a lick of attention except maybe a dermatologist if they noticed something odd with her skin being a slightly puncture proof armor.
"Yosh my youthful students we have been given some free time from our latest mission and it has been stated that a most evasive missing civilian in the bingo book has made his way toward Tanzaku we might want to look out for this civilian and will be able to capture him while we spend some time here" Quite a few assassins and ninja were disparaging the group of ninja's that probably made it known to their target he was being looked out for, they of course knew that these people were from Konoha who put the hit out on the civilian and so far the fact that nobody has nailed his ass to the wall meant he was a harder target to get than previously thought.
The group consisted of two similar looking people in green spandex suits with orange leg things and caterpillars growing on their faces, a male fate riddled hyuuga that looked to be branch member thus not worth capturing and a average looking girl with brown hair done up into two buns, she was the only one in the team that didn't scream ninja or weirdo and actually looked like she fit in with her surroundings minus the team of course.
Of the people that were disparaging the loudmouth green wearing jounin, was a man with long white hair a headband with horns and the word oil written on it, another man with long black feminine hair who smelled like male snakes and was hanging out with another white haired man with glasses who also smelled of male snakes, a trio of female assassins that were hiding in the shadows of an alleyway, two red cloud cloaked men who were starting to walk out of town trying to find out where the kyuubi container was having missed him entering town walking right by them in plain sight and finally another two oddly cloaked strangers who were still waiting in town looking around for their target they have been assigned to talk to and then get him to come with them, this wasn't the most of it but these were the most important otherwise there were plenty of know-nothings and quite a few stone ninja hanging around who heard the man shouting of youth who were interested in killing the much vaunted civilian of Konoha's ire and they weren't in it for the money either.
"YES GAI SENSEI AND IF WE CANNOT APPREHEND THIS MOST EVASIVE CIVILIAN THEN I WILL RUN AROUND THE ENTIRE CIRCUMFERENCE OF OUR MOUNTAINS BACK HOME ON MY PINKIES" then they just started yelling each other's name; one being Lee and the other apparently being Gai, before they started hugging thus signaling for the other two people of the team to start running for it because they were about to launch an assault of the fourth kind on the people of Tanzaku.
The genjutsu they formed blinded multiple people and it was so bad that the two men that smelled of snakes were both rolling around on the ground but it wasn't exactly scratching at their eyes shouting bloody murder like the rest of the crowd that stopped to watch the phenomenon, quietly Naruto snuck away from the area without being noticed refusing to stare at the genjutsu any longer then he had to using as much chakra as he could to keep it from affecting him and all the while Viper who was witnessing the event looked on in interest with a raised eye not being effected in the slightest by looking directly at the genjutsu but thought it was really unique and very fun to watch as it took out a crowd of people and it even made one person throw up making her day all that more enjoyable as she saw that the guy had some yakisoba before this event.
"I apologize lord Orochimaru, I don't know what came over me, oh crap Jiraiya" The man with the glasses quickly got up and along with the now named Orochimaru they both ran off hopefully not getting noticed by Jiraiya who they have just seen puking up yakisoba noodles, with him around they wouldn't dare to try and bring Naruto to the dark side because Jiraiya would find them if the kid put up any sort of fight so they left the area entirely to head back to Sound and Konoha respectively as the glasses haired man had to set up events for the coming exams in a few months.
"Naruto I have something I wish for you to do, I want you to write down what I'm going to tell you and I need you to give it to someone" Kyan had found her perfect candidate for being the 'Light Bringer' wielder and quite fast at that, neither the man nor the boy were gay but the display of pure platonic feelings of friendship through Naruto's eyes had slightly made her temporarily loopy from seeing it for a few seconds leaving spots before her eyes, but she knew the boy would need the sword eventually because he barely had chakra and in his line of work he could use a little help as he looked to be only physically fit so against someone with high powered ninjutsu abilities or maybe even eventually demons that sword would give him an edge in life hopefully.
"Why should I" It was Naruto's mental retort and Kyan told him it was important to help someone in their life and in no way would it benefit her or Nabi at all and Nabi agreed that it wouldn't benefit her, that was true mostly because Demons couldn't effectively wield a celestial weapon, Kyan kept begging him for a while to do this before he finally gave in and caved in to her whining with Nabi in stereo and here Naruto thought that demons were posed to hold themselves in high regard while being blood thirsty monsters.
"Well okay, but what do you want me to write down and who do you want me to give it to" It took quite a bit of goading but Naruto finally agreed to it, she then told him of the green spandex wearing youth who made a proclamation to run around the hokage monument on his pinkies.
"You do realize these are some of the people trying to catch me right" Kyan smiled from inside Naruto and exclaimed that it couldn't be too much trouble slipping the written stuff into the kids pack or onto him personally while surrounded by his ninja team; not to mention plenty of people out for his bounty, if he was truly stealthy as his loving snake wife thought he was and Naruto took that as a challenge, all the while declaring that Viper wasn't his wife but a very good friend and it made both Kyan and Nabi roll their eyes from inside Naruto, who was he trying to kid at this point he actually enjoyed her kisses.
It was evening and Naruto was inside the hotel room Isaribi had rented out and he was writing on a scroll being dictated about digging under a tree that looks like question mark and it being the only tree of its kind in Konoha near a waterfall, a bunch of stuff about rules of the object the person was going to find and finally that only this person can wield the object or pass it on to his children otherwise he would have to bury it back where he got it from and he was being trusted with it from the signed 'ghost of the past' and 'the messenger' with a P.S. to tell the tree that it's pretty. (Darkon: one would think that Kyan's wife is somehow involved in the knowledge of how she knows where the sword is)
"You're not seriously going back out there in that jumpsuit" it was about to get dark soon and Isaribi was worried about Naruto being spotted without light or a crowd to hide in, but then again Viper hasn't been seen but once after she found out where their room was, she was keeping a lower profile then even Naruto right now and would probably look out for Naruto in case he got caught, which rightfully he should have been given how many people around were carrying weapons and asking about orange clothing Isaribi has overheard today up to this point, it was amazing what wearing a different color will do for being noticeable in a crowd for Naruto as he has passed by a few of those people while visible without so much as a glance from them.
"Don't worry, other than Vipers natural inborn stealth I'm the master of it" with that Naruto slipped out the third story window without a sound, his white jumpsuit was making him more noticeable the darker it got and given how long he had to find the person he saw giving a man hug to his sensei he was really pushing his stealth; in a city full of people hunting him, to the limits and of course Isaribi was worried but then again she's hasn't seen how well did at not being seen other then the phenomenon of his trick of the light, she wondered what his emergency hiding jutsu was like.
Naruto slipped around another group of assassins it was likely someone definitely saw their group heading in this direction and blew a whistle on the fact that he was going to stop in Tanzaku, it looked like supplies for building his mobile base was a no go here unless he took drastic measures, especially with this many people around to catch him storing the supplies up to use later at an undisclosed location for his DIY mobile base, following the basics the blueprints gave him he would decide how it was actually built with Viper and Isaribi's help.(Trio: Do It Yourself dude)
They were sitting at a table outdoors getting in a early dinner, even if people knew they were ninja they probably looked as alert as a kitten chasing a butterfly was, that being they didn't appear to be focused on the menagerie of numerous killers in the area at all as long none of them started anything, thinking back a few minutes ago Naruto figured drastic measures sounded fun more then it did lethal as he staked his target out, it depended on Vipers report.
Naruto spotted his target and his ideal approach he had plenty of light and there weren't many people around the table or in the line of sight of his approach except the bun haired girl, the only problem was his own shadow and maybe that of the buildings on his exit route as he started to make his way back to the hotel, but he'd make do and he really didn't know why he was delivering this message to the guy as Kyan didn't even clearly know him on any personal level at all.
What she said was that the guy would be a lot better off in life if he did this and he trusted Kyan; within reason, helping total strangers from konoha wasn't above him in any stretch of the imagination like Idate, so he started crawling slowly along the ground slowly to make sure he wasn't visible to any nearby prying eyes as there were a lot in this town looking for him wearing his standard orange jumpsuit which despite how people think it's an eyesore he actually loved it because it would be a challenge for a ninja to pull off the stunt of wearing it almost constantly without dying, plus it mocks current day ninja common sense.
He stopped crawling forward when he heard some interesting bits of information trickle down to him as he moved closer to the table in a agonizingly slow manner and they were about the guy he was delivering a message too, apparently the hyuuga was too relaxed or felt too safe in this environment despite not knowing about all the dangers around him to have his byakugan active which would have made Naruto's approach impossible to even try to begin with, as long as he didn't have a reason to activate it Naruto was safe to deliver the message as carefully as possible but he decided to sit still for a bit before delivering the information Kyan wanted him to.
The information itself was strangely comforting in the fact that whatever it was this guy was going to find, it would never hurt an innocent person and for some reason it sounded vaguely familiar to him but he didn't know why.
"You'll never defeat me Lee why don't you give up you are not fated to beat a hyuuga, especially not me" Naruto didn't like this hyuuga as he was like most of the other hyuuga; at least Hinata was gentle and respectable even if she did stalk him with deluded perverted thoughts while having her byakugan activated, Viper had been pretty spot on with knocking them down a few pegs when he heard about the talk of insane laughter that sounded like Orochimaru had suddenly come after them at their compound putting them on high alert for weeks on end.
"I have stated this before and I will state it again, I may not be able to do ninjutsu or genjutsu but I will be a most splendid ninja with taijutsu only, my hard work will one day help me overcome even the greatest of genius's" from the way the guy had talked Naruto had almost immediately turned inward and asked Kyan what she was exactly planning, he wondered why the guy couldn't do ninjutsu or genjutsu but then there had to logically be someone with worse problems then Isaribi being stuck to water elemental jutsu.
In the end Naruto silently decided to trust the fox demon and see where it went or maybe he wouldn't even find out what became of this as he could only hope something positive happened as he was actually putting a little trust in his prisoner who didn't act like a raging beast despite the fact that she could change the color of her fur at will to seem more intimidating, he knew about that once he caught her sleeping with her fur looking all fluffily white and with blue markings running along her body making her look adorably cute for a giant demon fox huddled up to a demon cat, if he scaled down Kyan's appearance mentally she was just cuddly instead of vicious looking.
Slowly but surely he pulled out the scroll wrapped in a white cloth and slowly moved to place it on Lee's person while staying quiet until a certain exchange nearly made him blow his cover with a reaction to the information present.
"So what happened to you three on the that C-rank when I took a solo D-rank on my own, I think it was chasing a cat and why are Neji's hands halfway to his face when I mentioned the word cat, he's been doing that anytime he even hears a word remotely close to it" Neji looked to be horribly embarrassed by his reaction it happened when anyone said the word cat or the name of a certain cat around him it caused him to instantly throw his hands or arms towards his face and sometimes doing it while screaming that 'Hinata was a good kitty by fates hand' or that 'Tora wasn't out to get him in his sleep as it was fated', Lee's eyes were wide and his hand was on the back of his chair like he was getting ready to run away from something with extreme exuberance bordering on releasing all the internal chakra gates at once even if it meant his imminent death and to Tenten that was odd in the extreme's for someone who took on all challenges, however their sensei had the most oddest reaction out of them.
"WE WILL NOT TALK ABOUT THE MISSION AS TALKING ABOUT THE MISSION WAS MADE ILLEGAL BY THE OBJECTIVE OF THE MISSION" Gai was sweating up a storm and his voice hit a very high whiny annoying pitch and at that point Naruto almost lost it and broke his cover do to the seemingly huge fit of giggles forming in his throat, he didn't know what caused someone as strong as this man appeared to be to end up a squeaky sweating mess but it was hilarious.
Gai's eyes were wide when he saw a black cat across the street playing with a ball of yarn look up innocently at him before it's eyes sharpened into something scarier than anyone could imagine causing the grown man to almost cry and start running away, what's more the cat lifted a paw and pointed to its mouth then slowly drew it's paw across its neck then pointed at him before it went back to being incredibly playful and started to cutely tangle itself in yarn.
"THAT IS ENOUGH QUESTIONS WE ARE HERE TO EAT, RIGHT NEJI AND MY FAITHFUL STUDENT LEE" both students took notice of Gai's eyes motioning for them to look across the street with his eyes and when they did they immediately kept quiet and continued to eat and pretend nothing was wrong with them.
Tenten didn't know what was wrong with her teammates they seemed so distant all of the sudden not to mention frightened, even their sensei oddly enough and it was then that she noticed a scroll moving slowly into Lee's clothing and a barely visible hand that was holding it before it disappeared causing her to blink as she didn't know what she just saw but it was something, she looked in the direction at Lee's back and saw something appear in the shadow of the building and it looked at her before it gave a fox like grin and it walked slowly into the light on the other side of the buildings shadow before disappearing causing her to blink wildly.
The poor girl was beginning to wonder if what she saw was a ghost that looked oddly like a orphan nobody treated well when she was in an orphanage herself, she managed to escape the place before all the odd disappearances that were later found out to be because of a man named Danzo was experimenting on poor children to turn them into mindless drones and she shivered at the thought, was that the ghost of one of them? What did it just give to Lee and since there was no explosion yet it wasn't anything bad so it was hardly worth mentioning as she might have just been seeing things and needed this vacation from constant duty instead of looking for some orange wearing civilian that… wait a minute could that have been Naruto and why did he look so ghostly… in fact it was better that she didn't know and that she would look into it later because that might have just been their target and he didn't look to lively with how slow he was moving.
Naruto keeping his eyes on the girl saw the bewildered look across her face but she didn't do anything, so his ghost ploy had worked and the shadows of the building were still well lit enough to make him only slightly transparent and it went perfectly, now all he had to do was avoid every other person out there looking for him as he knew that those few couldn't be the only people in town on the lookout for him.
"Tenten is everything alright my youthful student" Tenten looked to Gai wondering if she should say anything or not, she just saw a ghost or it might have been the target himself still alive and wandering around with an invisibility ninjutsu, she couldn't tell which because Gai and the rest of her team missed seeing him and were taking side glances across the street and she saw nothing but a cat playing cutely with yarn but by the way they were acting it was like they were expecting an attack anytime soon.
"Yeah, I just thought I saw something" Gai, Lee and Neji tensed up but she wasn't taking side glances at the cat and they wondered what she was talking about, maybe it was another cat that they hadn't spotted yet and their paranoia of cats was starting to run rampant, a snake sitting on a nearby roof shook her head that apparently cats have been causing grown ninja's to have panic attacks.
Naruto quietly lifted himself up into the window only to feel something wrap around his leg, continue up his torso and around his arm into the room causing Isaribi to get surprised at the blank look on Vipers face, she quickly slammed the window shut an closed the blinds as soon as Naruto was inside.
"What's wrong Viper and What did you exactly do Naruto" Isaribi was surprised that nothing had happened all day and Naruto was wearing white, he came back and obviously no one noticed him or even started anything, she was horribly disappointed because she saw a real nice bridge nearby.
"I was doing a favor for a friend and nobody really saw me... fully anyway" Although he didn't have the words to state why he had to do that, he had been spotted by one of the people on the team but quick thinking and specified movements made him seem less than physical so calling out a team on a ghost would make the girl seem unreasonable and he was quite lucky the Hyuuga seemed too distracted to activate his byakugan.
"I know the news of Aoi's team was pretty bad, but if you think that's bad then you don't know what would have happened if Naruto had even a scrap of orange on him as he walked into Tanzaku, I've seen Orochimaru of the snakes with a spy named Kabuto who currently works in Konoha, they apparently fled Tanzaku once they saw Jiraiya of the toads as he puked rather nicely today not my doing mind you, Maito Gai resident combat master of Konoha and training beast, Rock Lee the taijutsu only ninja protégé of Gai, Neji fate riddled hyuuga with daddy issues, Tenten who's carrying more weapons then half of everyone in Tanzaku combined, the three sirens of assassination fall for their wiles and you die, several small teams of stone country ninja and two weirdo's in cloaks, plus twice our weight in samurai, assassins and freelance ninja's… Naruto if you leave this hotel tomorrow you better not even think of wearing an orange jumpsuit out there, otherwise we're safe for the time being and not many people noticed you except that one person, nice trick acting like a ghost by the way, I don't think we can get those base making supplies here with this many unknowns attracting like flies to a dead vulture covered cow" Viper was seriously worried over the fact that there were more people here for Naruto then there were civilians for whatever their jobs were and all of them could kill him for a nice bounty, she was going to need a lot of chakra for genjutsu tomorrow.
"Did anyone other than that one person recognize Naruto" Isaribi was astonished that Viper claimed there were so many people out to get Naruto, sure she's heard that he's done some rather bad things to his village upon his exit and that he carried a demon inside of him along with another one but they didn't make him evil as those two demons seemed to hardly do all that much to help them stating it was better that they didn't, as if that wasn't already an issue with their wild bounties especially when all she has done is help her brother survive being dragged back to a place he doesn't want to go.
"No, but I used a genjutsu on the girl to make her doubt herself and that should last her long enough till we make our way out of here tomorrow we're going to head into the mountains to the north, it's the best way for us to go and only a ninja would be able to follow us up those cliff faces, we don't need any ninja proof samurai or those deadly assassins on us" Viper and Isaribi didn't say anything but turned to Naruto who kept a straight face while looking at them while still wearing his daylight stealth suit, he was thinking of what to do and figured he still wanted to get a mobile base as soon as possible because running from this many people that want him dead on foot would get his friends and more likely him killed, plus no ninja is going to take a samurai head on in fight as they were masters at fighting head to head battles which most ninja tend to do these days unlike Naruto's team of which has been under just about everyone's radar until they ducked back into Fire country and the barest of sightings drew this much attention, they really needed to make themselves sound less like targets and more like people you wouldn't want to mess with.
"Ahem… I'll be getting those supplies and I'll being using my special brand of shape shifting to do it to, at the same time let's say we cause a commotion…. Isaribi can you make a bunch of low yield explosives that are loud, flashy and noisy, Viper after what I saw today you are right that Orochimaru retreated from the area and from what I hear Jiraiya is a spy master who would want to nail the snakes ass but I doubt he wouldn't pass up an opportunity to catch me and turn me in so he's undoubtedly still here and looking for his godson, since we're going to need to cause a commotion for me to even leave the place do either of you object to a little ninja subterfuge, because we'll be having fun tomorrow" Isaribi wondered what Naruto meant, Viper had a wicked grin and Naruto started whistling his favorite little tune that meant something pretty special was going down in Tanzaku town, prank bombing of the century was about to be dropped on this place while Naruto disguised himself and picked up what they needed with a bunch of clones and they would vacate the area towards safer climates.
"Shape shift, you can do that? I thought it was only for appearance and that as soon as someone touches you it immediately drops the jutsu" Viper gave a vibrant smile in Isaribi's direction she has yet to envision the glorious disaster in action or understand that Naruto was the master of stealth in Konoha for more than one reason, from what Naruto had just said she was going into a plan making overdrive soon and the exploding wallet thing will finally be explained in better reasoning to Isaribi when she bears witness to what she will help bring about.
"Oh, I can shape shift too but the way Naruto does it is quite real, only I can only do it for real for about an hour and nearly died because of it, I didn't shape shift into a human if that's what you're thinking I just changed into a different kind of snake with fangs and even that was heavily draining so the only person who I think could match Naruto in the ability to change his entire body fully into something different with a near semi-permanence would be another person with a sealed demon who has his kind of chakra levels or someone who has only one transformation like you" It was then that they started planning the biggest party Tanzaku has ever had, so if Naruto wanted his so called godfather to be put at least three feet under and in excruciating pain... that was something Viper could very well arrange.
End Chapter, I feel sorry for anyone in Tanzaku right about now.
List-(Wait but there is no new Ninjutsu?)
DAYLIGHT STEALTH SUIT (oh) - Naruto's special all white stealth suit; including white shinobi sandals and hood, for performing optical illusions from tricks of the light, he can disappear as long as he in light only downside is he still casts a shadow his whisker marks are still visible if seen from a low angle and moving too fast or in shadows makes him ridiculously visible as well as noticeable. (It's a wonder why that guy from assassins creed wears white, but if you don't know what the story this chapter refers to, it's a modified retelling of one episode of "Samurai Jack")
Darkon: Now is the point that Naruto shows off next chapter, what's he going to do? Why he's going to bring down anyone chasing him in Tanzaku of course as well as get all the spies off his back, he has yet to personally make his acquaintance with Jiraiya and that will be when the two cloaked strangers get involved.
Trio: So you're not going to tell anyone anymore chapter titles are you dude?
Darkon: Nope, but I do want Naruto to start making his name known as the literal "Ninjutsu Howitzer" because up to this point, Viper and Naruto have been practically doing most of the stuff they do without hand signs which is why it isn't mentioned to much in the story.
Sir: Please don't tell me you're throwing those two into the story.
Darkon: Okay and I won't, but they have appeared in anime so they are free game and they are ninja so it fits.
Primell: Um… aren't they a little too eccentric to be ninja's squee.
Darkon: Not with the way I'm going to be presenting them, it's just that the summoning jutsu one of them can do is way too overpowered to be used in the story too much so it'll have some pretty heavy limitations as it is known as the ultimate in 'property damage' causing summons.
Trio: Look there's no talking him out of it once he sets it in writing dude.
Darkon: Please note the special summoning thing Trio talked about at the beginning happens only when Naruto personally meets and greets Jiraiya and that won't be next chapter either, Shion will appear after Naruto finally gets a chance to build his base, I'm telling you what will happen but not how it will happen how nice of me not to spoil anything, I also don't care what anyone says this chapter was written on utter crap I dare someone to state otherwise.