Hey, guys! This update happened a bit faster than the last one! There's still some drama in here, but I think you can also catch on the first hints of what is to come. I really liked having Sasuke and Gaara interact face to face – should write those scenes more often :P Next chapter Itachi will finally show up *g*
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, the ending would've been quite different *g* All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
Chapter 10 The Sober in the Drunk
He couldn't believe it! He really couldn't! What the hell had just happened? He felt like he'd fallen into one of his nightmares only that this time he didn't wake up from it. Instead he felt as if Sasuke had punched a hole through his chest just by using the right words.
And God… it hurt.
What was he supposed to do now? Just give in and sign the papers? No… that would mean he'd never get to see Sasuke again and no matter how much it hurt, Naruto wanted to see him. This marriage was the last leverage Naruto had over Sasuke and he wouldn't give up on that.
Naruto didn't know how long he'd been sitting on the sofa after Sasuke had left, silently crying and unable to wrap his mind around what had happened. Somewhere deep inside he'd still believed that the two of them would get back together, because that was the way it had always been. Just the two of them. But that hope had been shattered and he felt like he'd suddenly awoken in a much darker world. Was that what life would look like from now on? Without Sasuke?
He couldn't believe that the love of his life had really just broken up with him. He'd never been through a breakup, but right now it felt like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and kept squeezing it. This was something that only happened to other people. He'd seen couples break up, but had always assumed that he and Sasuke wouldn't be among them one day. But that day had just come and it really was the worst day of his life.
Naruto buried his head in his hands and put his feet on the edge of the couch, bending his knees so that he could hide behind his legs. Usually he would never let something bad affect him that much, but with Sasuke things had always been different and much more intense.
Next to him, his phone started to buzz and Naruto raised his head for a moment, seeing Gaara's number on the bright screen. Should he take the call? He wouldn't be able to hide his current condition from his best friend; Gaara would instantly know that something had happened and that would force Naruto to tell what Sasuke had just done. With a sigh he took the phone and rejected the call. Right now, talking about this whole mess didn't feel like the best idea.
He closed his eyes again, feeling the tightness in his chest that came with the pain of knowing that Sasuke was now truly gone from his life and all his hopes shattered. He needed to wrap his mind around the fact that from now on he really had to exist with the knowledge that his marriage truly was over.
The tiny golden ring on his hand suddenly seemed to mock him.
What had he been thinking, wearing it all those years? It was retrospectively the most ridiculous thing he had ever done.
The phone started to buzz again, flashing Gaara's number at him. Was it something important? Had Gaara met Sasuke by any chance and already knew what was going on? That sounded awful, all his friends knowing that Sasuke had just dropped him like a hot potato. Again he pressed the 'end call' button, sending it to his mailbox.
Only seconds later the screen sprang back to life, this time showing a text from Gaara.
I'm going to call you again. If you don't pick up I'll come kick your door in. Your choice.
Naruto looked at the message and sighed. He really wanted to keep his door undamaged. So when the phone started to buzz again he picked it up and pressed the green button, taking the call.
"Yes?", he said into the speaker his voice hoarse from crying.
"What happened?", Gaara asked harder than usual.
"Nothing"
"Don't lie to me, Naruto. You never reject my calls, especially not twice. What's going on?"
Naruto sighed again, feeling the tears sting in his eyes just by thinking about telling what had just happened. Voicing it seemed to make it all more real than it had so far been.
"Sasuke came by. He wants a divorce". Strange how a few short words can affect you, but they were enough to slap Naruto in the face with full force.
"He did what?", Gaara asked, for the first time really showing emotions.
"He knocked at my door to tell me that he wants to divorce me, so he can marry some girl his father chose for him", Naruto explained his voice sounding bitter all of a sudden. It felt like the worst possible betrayal, to be dumped not for the sake of love but for a family legacy that Sasuke usually couldn't care less about.
There was silence on the other end of the line of a long while and Naruto almost believed that Gaara had hung up. "I'm sending Kiba over to keep you company. You shouldn't be alone right now. I'll join you later", he said after minutes of silence, more calmly than before.
"I don't want company. I want to be alone right now", Naruto replied not wanting to have Kiba over and suffer through his feeble attempts to cheer him up when all he wanted to do was hide in his bed for a while to lick his wounds.
"Absolutely out of the question! You are not going to sit alone in that big house of yours, taking out pictures of better times to agonize over that asshole"
"I wasn't planning on doing that. I just… want to be alone right now"
"We are not arguing about this, Naruto. I will send Kiba over. You are not staying alone tonight", Gaara insisted a bit annoyed. "I'll be over soon as well. Just need to take care of a few things first". With that he finally hung up, leaving Naruto alone in his suddenly far too quite living room.
Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to have Kiba over after all. With Sasuke gone for sure the house seemed darker and less inviting, as if he'd just been a guest and now was the time to finally leave. And that he would. As soon as this nightmare had calmed down a bit he would go look for a new apartment; one that held no memories of Sasuke, but would allow Naruto to build a new life where his husband was nothing but a shadow of the past without meaning while Sasuke lived in Tokyo having kids with his new wife, playing happy family for the rest of his pitiful life.
Naruto raised his head and let his gaze wander over the furniture and other interior of the room. Most of the things in here belonged to him and Sasuke; he hadn't changed much since his husband had moved out, because he had always wanted him to instantly feel at home once he came back. How stupid of him. Now all the little things in their living room seemed to laugh at him for his naivety. How silly could he be?
A few minutes or maybe half an eternity, Naruto really didn't know, later the doorbell rang again, shaking him to the core as he got up. He half expected to find Sasuke outside again, but it was Kiba of course, wearing a pained expression on his usually so cheerful face.
"Hey, mate. Gaara told me. Thought you could use some company and beer", the man said, raising the sixpack of beer he was carrying.
"Drinking sounds like a far too good idea. Come in", Naruto stepped aside and tried to smile at his friend. He knew he'd been drunk just two days ago but he couldn't bring himself to care. If it would help him to forget, he was happy to face the hangover again tomorrow morning.
They entered the living room and took their seats on the sofa. Kiba handed Naruto one of the beer bottles, opening it with a practiced move of just his right hand. "Now, tell me exactly what happened", he said in a serious tone.
Naruto took a rather large gulp from his bottle, before he placed it on the coffee table and turned his upper body to face the friend next to him.
"It's quite simple", he said, an ironic smile that wouldn't really fit him, gracing his lips. "He knocked at my door, walked in and told me he wanted a divorce, so he can marry some bitch his father wants him to". Naruto grimaced at the thought and took another gulp. Maybe a sixpack of beer wouldn't be enough tonight.
"What do you mean, 'marry some bitch'?", Kiba asked sounding surprised. He hadn't touched his own beer yet, dark eyes locked on Naruto in utter disbelieve. "You were the only person he ever wanted to marry".
Naruto huffed. "Well, that changed, apparently. Now all he wants is to fuck her for his family name". He couldn't stifle the bitterness and disappointment in his voice, too great was the feeling of betrayal and loss. All he thought he'd known about Sasuke was lost now, and it hurt.
"Doesn't really sound like him, does it?", Kiba mused, turning the untouched bottle in his hand. It wasn't like him to be so pensive, but at that very moment he stayed calm instead of being his usual explosive self and get all passionate about what he'd just heard. Something about Naruto's story just didn't fit with what Kiba knew about Uchiha Sasuke.
He remembered his two friends getting together and the conversation he'd had with Sasuke shortly after, about how Kiba would rip his balls off if he just played Naruto. But Sasuke had been totally serious about this relationship as long as Kiba could think and his latest change in behaviour seemed strange – it didn't really fit Sasuke.
"I don't care what it sounds like, anymore. The man I met today has little in common with the man I married", Naruto said with a sigh, quaffing the rest of his beer and reaching for a new one right away. He couldn't remember ever feeling this depressed. Usually he would at least keep up his cheery façade, but today was an exception – today he was willing to drown his sorrows and let Kiba see it all.
"Listen, mate. Drinking isn't gonna make it better. He won't come back just because you keep drinking like that", Kiba said sounding a little worried. Maybe he shouldn't have brought the beer, but then again he'd thought that maybe it would make Naruto relax a little, which couldn't hurt in a situation like this. But now it seemed that Naruto would most likely just drink to forget how much it hurt to have lost the person you loved the most.
"No he won't. But maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight if I just keep drinking enough", Naruto retorted taking another gulp from his second bottle.
Kiba shook his head at him. "So, what exactly happened? He just walked in and told you he wants a divorce? Anything else?"
Naruto paused for a moment, looking at the bottle as if it held answers to all the questions currently occupying his mind. "No…", he said slowly, finally looking up to meet his friend's gaze. "He told me that there's a girl he wants to marry… the one his father choose… he said he'd have to live up to his family name". Naruto's voice was barely more than a pained whisper. "And then… he almost kissed me…".
Kiba, who had just taken the first sip from his beer, coughed against the rim of the bottle, effectively hitting his teeth on the hard glass. "He did what?"
"He almost kissed me", Naruto repeated, looking into his beer again.
"Hang on. Just so I get this right: He came to tell you he wanted a divorce and then he almost kissed you?"
"Jip, that's what happened".
"How? I mean… how did the two of you end up almost kissing? And why just 'almost'?".
Naruto sighed again, running a hand through his messy blond locks. "When he told me he wanted to marry just for the good of his family I refused to agree to the divorce. We started to argue and suddenly – he was fucking close all of a sudden! And all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss him… And I could see that he felt exactly the same but… the moment broke and he left…".
Kiba turned his head to better look at his friend, who suddenly sounded far more pained when before. The bitterness was gone from his voice and all that remained was anguish. He had never seen Naruto cry, but now one silent, lonely tear rolled down his cheek.
There was silence for a time, before Naruto stared to drink again.
"I think there is still hope", Kiba said after a while, watching the bottle in his friend's hand.
"Why would you think that?"
"Well, if he wanted to kiss you, he still has feelings for you. He didn't stop loving you. Not even after five years apart. He loves you just as much as you love him. Something must have happened that makes him act like this", it was the only conclusion that made sense to Kiba and he wasn't willing to believe that Sasuke had ever fallen out of love with his husband. Not after the look he'd seen on the man's face on the day of their wedding. There had been a dark possessiveness that had almost scared Kiba, but at the same time he'd known for sure that Uchiha Sasuke would never leave Uzumaki Naruto's side – not if he had any say in it.
Fucking shit! Sasuke thought as he slammed the door of his hotel room shut behind him. That absolutely didn't go the way he'd expected it to and now all he wanted to do was go back to that house, kick in the door, grab Naruto and kiss the living daylights out of him. The dark, possessive coiling in his guts was going crazy at the thought alone and he did his best to will it down. Never had he expected his buried feelings to come back like that.
It had always been a dark urge that had drawn him to Naruto, but Sasuke had considered it gone after so many years apart. However, the beast had sprung back to live the second he'd laid eyes on his husband, filling him with that familiar need to touch and mark, so no one else would touch what was his. It felt like a fucking curse.
His throat was dry and his eyes stung, as his fell on his bed, feeling more exhausted than he had in weeks. How had he ever thought it would be easy to just walk up to Naruto and tell him they were over? Especially when his own heart betrayed him like that, urging him to close the distance between them. But Sasuke knew he couldn't do that. Once he crossed that line again there was now going back.
He glanced at the innocent looking papers on the desk in his room. The receptionist had told him that they'd arrived, as soon as Sasuke had entered the lobby of the hotel. His divorce papers were ready; all it needed was for Naruto and him to sign them. Afterwards it would be as if they'd never been together in the first place. It would free Naruto of his bond and give him the opportunity to start something new, maybe with Gaara.
The thought made his chest constrict in jealousy, but he knew he had no right to be jealous. Naruto had never asked for this and it was Sasuke who demanded a divorce. It was him, who was about to cut all ties and he also had to live with the consequences even if he didn't like them.
He had only seen Gaara once or twice before he'd left Konoha, but he remembered Naruto and him getting along perfectly well right from the start – even to an extend that had make Sasuke feel jealous back then. He knew that Gaara would make a good partner for his husband, so he'd be happy and able to forget about Sasuke. The thought stung, but he knew it was necessary like that.
He didn't know how long he'd laid on his bed, letting his mind wander, thinking about Naruto, when there was a sharp knock at the door. Sasuke rose from his position and looked at the dark wood. Was it Naruto? Did he come to agree to their divorce? Did Sasuke want him to?
He sighed and looked at the divorce papers again. Should he hide them? Pretend they hadn't arrived yet? Just in case it really was Naruto… No. he'd come to Konoha to end this and he wouldn't let his feelings get in the way of what was necessary.
Straightening his back, he walk to the door and opened it, blinking when he saw a mob of red hair in front of it.
"Sabaku?", he asked, looking at the man in question. This close, Sasuke could perfectly see to what extend the man had changed since they'd last been face to face. Five years ago Gaara had been quite hard and bitter about his bad relationship with his father, who blamed his son for his wife's untimely death.
The Gaara in front of Sasuke's door however was still impassive, but there was something soft about his features that betrayed the changes the man had gone through in the last years. The only thing that gave away his feelings was his eyes, ablaze with anger.
"Uchiha…", he said, sounding like a lion hunting a sheep. Those clear green eyes held something dangerous, but Sasuke wasn't willing to let the man get under his skin. He already knew why Gaara was here and he was determined to stand his ground, even in front of Naruto's protective friends.
"What can I do for you?", he asked in a low voice, not taking a step back, but efficiently blocking the door.
Gaara's gaze roamed over him, taking in every detail of Sasuke's appearance, from the missing suit jacket to the slightly wrinkled shirt. He was judging him and it was just impossible to read what conclusion the man came to.
"I wanted to talk to you", Gaara answered with a polite smile that never reached his eyes. It was downright creepy if you asked Sasuke, but he did his best not to show what was running through his mind.
"What about?", Sasuke demanded to know, his voice as hard as he wanted it to sound.
Gaara looked at him for a moment before he spoke again. "I don't think you want to discuss that in the hall, where everyone can overhear us". As if on cue, an elderly couple walked past Sasuke room, looking curiously at the two men.
"Fine, come in", Sasuke said, stepping aside and closing the door behind his guest to keep the conversation private.
Gaara turned around to face him as soon as the door was closed. "Why are you doing this?", he outright asked, those strange eyes unblinkingly locked on Sasuke.
"I have no idea what you are talking about"
His guest narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't take me for a fool, Uchiha. You know why I'm here and I know that you know. There's no reason to play games. Just answer the question".
"I'm not playing games. I just see no reason as to why I should tell you anything. I barely know you", Sasuke answered a bit smug.
"I'm not here to blame you. At least not only. I want to know why you are doing what you are doing", Gaara said in a clam, factual tone, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"I'm here for the divorce, but I bet you already know that much. Naruto must have told you, or you wouldn't be here", Sasuke answered.
"Yeah, he told me that much, but I still don't understand".
"You don't understand that I'm here to have him sign those papers?"
Gaara shook his head and somewhat huffed. "No. What I don't understand is, why you came back to do that. You could have send the papers here, but instead you preferred to come all the way from Tokyo for something that could have been achieved far easier", he explained, his eyes never once leaving Sasuke's.
"I thought I owe him that much"
"I think you're lying".
Sasuke flinched slightly and closed his eyes to steady himself. What was it about that guy that made him read the man the like an open book? Was he that predictable?
"And why do you think such a thing?", he asked slowly.
"That you're here. You came to Konoha not because you want Naruto to sign those papers, but because you wanted to see him one last time. You know this is the end, but your heart still belongs to him and you couldn't bring yourself to cutting the ties without a proper farewell. But you're hurting him like this. It would have been kinder to just send the papers instead of showing up and confront him", Gaara explained, he didn't look angry or anything, just a little worried.
Sasuke could tell that he really cared for Naruto and maybe Neji was right and Gaara would be the better partner for him. At least he would make sure that Naruto was happy – something Sasuke couldn't.
"Are you in love with him?", Sasuke asked, unable to keep the jealousy from his voice as he spoke. The possessive part of him didn't want Gaara to take what was his.
"I was, once. But I learned very soon that there was only one person for him – you", he answered still very calmly. Whatever happened between Naruto and Gaara, the man had accepted his position as the best friend. The beast inside Sasuke's chest purred in satisfaction.
"And now you're here to fix the relationship of the guy you're in love with, instead of claiming him for yourself? Isn't that ridiculous?".
"No, it's not. I want what's best for him. It's your choice, Uchiha. Either you walk away from him right now, without torturing him even more or you stay and fix this. But stop hurting him by showing up just to wave your new happy engagement in his face".
Sasuke swallowed hard. Happy engagement? Who did that guy think he was, telling him something like this? It wasn't like he'd chosen to marry Karin! He did it because otherwise Fugaku would destroy everything Naruto held dear and it was Sasuke's duty to prevent that. He would do anything if it ensured Naruto's well-being. The only thing he had indeed done for his own selfish reasons was to come and tell his husband about the divorce in person.
Yes, it was true; he wanted to see Naruto once last time in his life. He wanted one last memory of him that he could lock away with all the others and think about whenever he was alone. Of course he knew that he was hurting the one person he wanted to see happy, but that last glimpse of him was hopefully worth the pain. Afterwards Sasuke would be gone and Naruto able to start over.
"You don't have to tell me what I should or shouldn't do! It's my decision to make, not yours!", he exclaimed, feeling angrier than he should.
"I'm not here on my behalf, Uchiha", Gaara said, his hands closed around his upper arms so hard his knuckles appeared white from the force. He obviously tried to stay clam when all he wanted to do was punch Sasuke in the face.
"I don't care, Sabaku. I do what the fuck I want and I won't have you lecture me about my husband. Now get out", Sasuke growled. He hated that judgmental look on the other man's face.
"Ah yes I see. Things are getting unpleasant and you decide to kick me out. Very mature. But I won't stretch your patience anymore. Have a good night, and think about what I just said. You are in love with him and you're not doing any of you a favour like this. Stop running from him and face your family. I'm sure Naruto is worth it. If not, get the hell out of town".
Sasuke clenched his fist and tried to choke back his anger. The words cut like knifes but he wouldn't let Gaara know that. The man had hit a nerve, making Sasuke feel awkward and pitiful .He wanted him to leave right now.
Gaara just smiled at him, but his knuckles were still white, as he walked to the door and opened it, stopping on the threshold. "I only warn you once. Keep hurting him, and I'll hurt you in return. Are we understood?", he said, one hand holding the handle.
"More than just that, yes", Sasuke said, waiting for the man to finally leave.
As soon as the door was closed, Sasuke slammed back on the bed, burying his face in the crook of his arm to shut out the world around him. As if breaking up with Naruto wasn't hard enough in the first place.
He took his wedding ring out of the pocket of his dress pants and looked at it. Would he ever be able to wear it again? He was quite sure that he would move in with Karin once he got back to Tokyo and how could he explain a wedding ring to his betrothed? No, it would have to stay in the box from now on – save but beyond reach. Just like Naruto himself.
After a while, the sun had long set outside his window and the noise from the street below had subsided, Sasuke heard his phone buzz on the bedside cabinet where he'd left it hours ago. Probably his father… or brother… he wanted to talk to neither of them, but when it buzzed again, Sasuke got up and took the small device in his hand.
He had two text messages from an unknown number, which wasn't as unknown as his phone claimed it to be. He hadn't saved that number, but he would recognize it everywhere, even after five years. The texts were from Naruto.
Sasuke's heart beat frantically as he opened the first message. The grammar was bad and the spelling even worse, but he could positively hear Naruto's voice say the exact same words now shining on the screen.
I hate yu… ashole… dont ever com back
Sasuke assumed that Naruto had had quite too much to drink tonight and now started to drunken text him. It wouldn't help to respond anyway and so he just opened the second text.
I luved yo… an you just left…
The words were accusing, Sasuke could hear it without a voice to actually speak them. Naruto really wasn't the only person getting hurt over this.
Why did yu leve, Saske?
Said man looked at his phone and closed his eyes. He wouldn't type an answer, but he wished he could.
Naruto was sitting on his couch with more bottles of beer than Kiba had initially brought, in front of him, all of them empty. He had long stopped counting them and so had his dog loving friend, who still tried to stop Naruto from texting his soon to be ex-husband. Gaara was sitting on the other end of the couch, watching the two men, offering silent support without interfering.
"Naruto, do you really think this is a good idea?", Kiba said, laying half on top of his friend in an attempt to take his phone from him.
"It is… he sh- should know what he's doing to me", Naruto answered somewhat slurred due to the amount of alcohol in is system.
He had already spelled out the next text and now pressed the 'send' button while Kiba tried to take the phone away from him.
Afrad to answer? I hate yo to!
"Stop that, Naruto. I don't think you're the only one who suffers. You're not making things better like this", Kiba insisted.
"I don't care! I want him to answer! How can he do that? Just shut me out again?", Naruto asked, lowering the arm that held the phone out of Kiba's reach.
"Talk to him face to face", his friend replied, getting back into a sitting position.
"I don't think he should do that", Gaara suddenly said. He had watched his two friends for a while and came to the conclusion that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to have Sasuke read Naruto's brutally honest texts. "Keep texting him. It will help".
"How can you say that?", Kiba exclaimed. "I thought we agreed that Sasuke too is suffering from this".
"He is, but he also needs a wake-up call to stop this madness. Let him text and provoke the guy. I think that'll be better than talking face to face".
Kiba looked at Naruto considering Gaara's words before he nodded. "Whatever. Go ahead", he finally said, while the man they were talking about had already begun to type the next text.
There were so many things he wanted to tell Sasuke and yet knew he would never do it, if they came face to face.
Plese anser me! I luv you! I knw yo love me to! I saw it tody! Why are yo doin this?
Whatever Sasuke thought about his texts, he never knew. The man didn't once reply, leaving Naruto with nothing but the burning pain in his chest for the rest of the night. Gaara and Kiba tried their best to keep him company and occupy his mind with other things, but as soon as they'd left the house, the whole reality of what had just happened today came crashing back to him.
It was really over. They were done.
For the first time since his wedding day, Naruto took off his ring and put it in the drawer of his bedside table. There was no reason for him to wear it anymore.
To be continued…
Soooo, with that done I have to tell you that I wrote something to cheer you up after that last part of the story. It's the promised side chapter I talked about earlier. I already wanted to post it a few days ago, but then I realized it contained some spoilers for this chapter and postponed it. But with that problem solved, I'll be able to upload it today. If you're interested in reading it, the story is called Closer to Heaven and will in the future contain other additional chapters I couldn't fit into Ashes.
Anyway, I hope you liked chapter 10 and stay tuned!