Wide eyes stare down at me, bright ones that seem to be able to work their way past my facade of toughness, drifting on the ocean of me feelings. Eyes that are able to tumble down the waterfall of my mind and plunge into the darkest, deepest pit of my emotions. A pit where my insecurities run rampant, obliterating all other thought and feeling. Eyes that are able to see who I really am. Eyes that know me.

I feel lips press against mine and become acutely aware of the space between my body and his, a space that's closing quickly. A toung runs along my bottom lip and I nearly open my mouth, but then begin to pull away, afraid of it all - it's just happening so fast. I step back more, but he keeps following me, matching ever step I take backwards with a step of his own going forwards.

I open my mouth to speak and the lips ram up against mine again, with enough brute force to leave bruises. I gasp from the sudden impact, but don't pull away. I let him come closer, closer, closer until he's right up against me. I reach my hands up and run them through his light golden hair, sighing from the pleasure of it all.

A toung once again swipes along my bottom lip, and this time I open up, letting him poke his toung in and explore the cavities of my mouth. He tastes like browned sugar, sweet and tangy at the same time. I don't want the kiss to end, but have to breathe, so I pull back again, grab a quick breath, go back in for another searing kiss, and -

Wake up suddenly to the screeching, insistent beep of my alarm clock. I roll onto my side and take a look at it, then slam my hand down on the off button.

I push myself up and swing my feet off of the bed, running my hands through my lank, greasy hair. I need a shower.

Looking around, I notice that everyone else is still asleep, undisturbed by the sound of my alarm. I jump to my feet and go around to the end of my bunk-bed, grabbing my navy blue towel. I bend down and pick up my shampoo, which smells like midnight blackberries. Standing up, I walk to the boy's bathroom and enter it, finding a shower stall.

I strip my clothing off and then hop into the shower, turning on the hot water and letting the spray wash down my shoulders and back.

I hate the dream. I hate it, how it repeats it's events over and over in my mind, every night. It won't go away, though. It's not just a dream - it's a memory. One of the best memories I have, but also one of the worst.

It's of my first kiss. One that I shared with Will Solace.

I wish that he weren't still angry with me. He's pissed. And it's not just hard for him, having me back here, alive, at Camp Half Blood, 18 years younger than him. It's hard for both of us. It's terror for me.

But I still am ready to forgive him. It's been 3 days. I can't bear the thought of him being so angry with me. I'm going to find him today, and talk with him. I can see that I have to tell him why. Why I did what I did, why I killed myself. I have to tell him. Even if I don't tell anyone else, I have to tell him.

I have to.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The gazebo stands empty by the time I reach it, devoid of all life. I'm the first one to arrive, seeing as it's only 5:30 in the morning.

I stroll up to one of the tables and sit down, wishing for blueberry pancakes, fried "fake bacon" strips, and a blackberry-strawberry smoothie. I've decided to go vegetarian, so no meat.

I slowly chew the food, angry and depressed and nervous about what I'm about to do. As I eat, people slowly file in in ones and twos, filling up the seats one by one. Then, suddenly, a crowd comes rushing in, whooping and screaming. It's the Hades Cabin kids - I recognize their dark, goth-punk-and-emo style. With their outlandish colored hair, silver chains, and black clothing, they're not hard to recognize.

After a few hours, most of the camp has come in, eaten, and made their way out of the pavilion. I slink back into the shadows and hide, waiting for the one to arrive that I must speak with.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait...

Then, finally, a lone figure starts to meander down to the pavilion.

It's time.