Chapter 9: Nothing will kill

I stayed in the forest with guilt and loneliness for a few weeks. I had found a small cave and sat down by the mouth, resting my sorrowful head against the hard stone wall and stayed there watching the beautiful light blue day change to the black bejewelled night. I only left to go and feed. I still fed on animal blood, I was used to its taste and it was better to do so then feel the wrath of the monster which had been forced into the back of my mind. Now I knew what it was like to loose something very close and dear to you, even though I knew Edward wouldn't be lost forever.

Everyday I became more depressed, every now and then I walked by the house, but I would keep for I was scared by what hurtful words Edward would use next. I often thought of returning to my blooder, but the thought of being forced to drink human blood again turned me away from the idea. I had come too far to just through it all away for nothing. I had thought about just walking into the house and apologising but I knew by how Edward reacted how that idea would end and I was already sitting there. I sometimes sat in the sun for a while hoping that my body would burn, but as usual my suicidal attempt failed.

After the feeling of not being wanted kicked in I looked for others ways of suicide. Even now as a stood on the edge of the cliff looking down to my death. As I looked at the jagged rocks below I hoped this would be the last time I would feel upset about my vampire life and if I survived this I would find my blooder and kill the bugger for changing me. I then thought about Edward, my short but meaningful memories I would take to wherever the reaper himself take me would take me. I took a deep breath and got ready for my afterlife, but I stopped to the sound of footsteps coming closer towards me. I shook them off and got ready a further time, again stopped by a recognised voice.

"That won't work you know." I turned to see Jasper smiling at me.

"How do you know?" Even though I was glad to see my vampire friend I was angry with him disturbing the end of my second life. He shrugged.

"I know someone who tried," He replied.

"So this is just a waste of more time?"

"You could put it that way yes." He opened his arms towards me and I instantly walked into them. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. If I was human I would have been sobbing on his shoulder, but no tears came only sadness. When he released I looked into his gentle eyes.

"Why are you here?" I remembered what Edward had said to me… Stay away from my Bella and my family.

"Missed you I guess, I was used to you being around." I snickered.

"Well I'm glad someone misses me." Jasper understood who I was talking about.

"He does miss you, Edward."

"Really?" I was shocked by what Jasper had said.

"He's still angry but I can sense he's worried about you." I nodded as Alice came into view.

"Jasper we need to go." Alice looked at me; I could tell she was angry. I looked at Jasper and nodded him to go.

"Speak to you soon." I nodded again and watched him start to walk away, "Oh and Christina, stop trying to kill yourself; it will never work." Jasper winked at me which made me smile and walked out of view with Alice.

I sat by my cave again after feeding, I felt more comforted knowing Jasper was still there for me, even if Edward wasn't. I had no more thoughts of suicide which helped with the depression. As I sat and thought of how I was going to get Edward to forgive me, an unusual scent suddenly came near me. It was a scent I knew I had smelled before, but I couldn't remember where. I closed my eyes and concentrated on thoughts of the forest. I could sense confusion but also anger. I then heard a distant scream which forced panic into my head. It was a scream I recognised… Bella