I am a wee bit confused here. It seems some of my beloved readers have been under the impression that I might abandon this story. This is completely unfounded, as I would never abandon my readers – at least not until the story is complete. Heh. But in all seriousness, this story is coming closer to the conclusion.

Edited and updated: 11/29/2012

Step Four Underway

It had only been a matter of days after Squidward received his "inheritance" from the late money–hoarder Eugene Krabs and temporarily closed the Krusty Krab for "renovations," and already he found himself growing bored. He had had the fanciest home designer in Bikini Bottom completely redo his home, he had all the money he could ever want, but still the self–absorbed squid wasn't satisfied.

He took a deep breath in and sighed. Looking out the window from where he sat in his modest parlor room … that was filled with paintings and busts – all of himself of course – upon his finest velvet armchair by an extravagantly decorated fireplace. "I'm bored. So much money …" And yet, nothing to do with it.

"Man …" Ryuk said in exhaustion as he stretched his shoulders in frustration. "How many times have I heard you say that? You haven't used the Death Note to kill anyone all week. You're getting lazy. You promised me entertainment!" he poked and prodded at Squidward's head, only to have his hand pass right through it. I thought this would be fun, or at least interesting, but it's gotten more boring than watching those other lazy shinigami gamble with each other over and over again.

"Heh. Don't you remember, Ryuk?" Squidward heaved another sigh. "You can't touch me and I can't touch you. Besides, I've run out of people to kill." This isn't right. I should be happy with this life, but something's missing. Plus, I need something to keep this cash flow going. He put his tentacle to his chin and scratched it pensively.

"Why don't you just kill someone else the way you did with that old crab?" Ryuk suggested, drifting close to Squidward's head.

After thinking for a moment, Squidward removed the bubble pipe from his mouth, stood up and walked to the window. "No … no, that wouldn't do. I was already cutting it close with Mr. Krabs with that method."

"What do you mean?"

"I was able to kill off Mr. Krabs and get all his money because I was his only cashier. Whereas with Squilliam, if I'm careless I'll end up killing myself if, say, I was to accidentally write both our names in the same entry. No, I'll need to do something else.

"In fact," he said after a brief pause, as if a bell had gone off in his head. "I think I know how to beat Squilliam in money production instead of just killing him and taking his fortune."

As he put down his pipe, Ryuk suddenly swooped down in front of him and told the surprised squid with a big smile ringed with razor sharp teeth, "You know, the last owner of the Death Note before you figured that out, too."

"Huh, really?"

"Yessss," the death god hissed in a loud laugh. "It took him much longer to figure it out, though. And he was a genius."

"Hm," Squidward chuckled arrogantly as he began to pace around the room, thinking pensively. "Well, I've never really figured myself a genius in fields beyond art and music, but being called a genius at killing … it almost feels like you're insulting me."

Venturing a look outside a window, he saw a familiar figure below. It was Rayfish Pembertrout, the investigator who had paid him a visit a couple of weeks ago. Hmm, what's he up to? He crossed to the window and looked out. The fish–in–black was talking to Sandy Cheeks down by the roadside. What they were discussing he could only imagine, but he had a feeling it was nothing good, as both were throwing occasional gestures dangerously close to being toward his home. Finally, Sandy left and headed home, but as he turned away from the window, Squidward saw Pembertrout take a long stare up at him from where he stood below. As their eyes met, only one thought made sense to Squidward: There's no mistaking it. He's onto me … I can feel it. "Well, I guess I'm not entirely out of people to kill, but I think I can bear to wait a while before I get to him. I've got bigger fish to fry." He stopped with a PING. "Fish to fry? Ah ha aha aha aha aha aha aha. Phew, I crack myself up," he wiped a tear from his eye.

He walked over to his desk, which he had not allowed the home designer to touch … beyond decking it out with expensive technology, including a new, voice–activated computer that could type as he spoke. "Ryuk."

"Yeah? What?" he hovered alongside.

"When it comes to my old buddy, Squilliam, I'd rather beat him first, then kill him," he snickered as he sat down. "That's the way to best end this perfect scheme of mine. Computer, search for: quote: contact, end quote, comma, space, quote: Sheldon Plankton, end quote."

As the computer processed his request, Ryuk ventured his own request. "Who's this 'Sheldon'? A friend of yours?"

"No, not friend," Squidward replied with a crooked smile as his computer completed its search. "New business partner."

Later that afternoon, Squidward brought his bike out, having chosen a less conspicuous way to travel, Ryuk, as always, shadowing him closely not far behind. "Where are we going?" he asked Squidward. "And why aren't we taking your new limousine, huh?"

"That would arouse too much attention, idiot," Squidward said bluntly. "Where we're going, we want to arouse as little attention as possible."

"But you haven't answered my question, you dried up piece of calamari!" Ryuk hissed, now getting a little angry with his notebook's owner.

"Oh, shut up and I will," Squidward retorted, not scared in the slightest. "We're going to the most rundown eatery in Bikini Bottom history."

"Do they have apples?" Ryuk asked, now over his anger at the very mention of the possibility of food.

"Not unless they're covered in chum."

"What's chum?"

"The most disgusting thing you'll ever eat," Squidward smiled, imagining the spit take Ryuk would be doing if he ate Plankton's specialty.

"Then why are you going there?"

"To talk business, of course," was Squidward's answer.

Deep within the confines of his laboratory, Plankton sighed his tenth sigh of the day, the twentieth day in a row in which no one even cast an eye at his Chum Bucket. Now things were worse than ever within Eugene Krabs around to motivate him.

"Oh get off your lazy butt," his computer wife told him. "Your sighs are starting to get on my electronic nerves."

"Oh what's the use, Karen," the tiny villain groaned. "With that crustaceous goofball, Krabs dead and gone, life just seems so pointless. I still haven't gotten anywhere in life, the Chum Bucket is doomed to bankruptcy as it always has been. Nobody likes my cooking, and I'll never have the Krabby Patty formula, so I'll never sell one bit of food in my lifetime. Even in death, Krabs continues to mock me!" he made a fist and pounded in his tiny work desk. "What's the point of carrying on anyway?"

"Now what kind of talk is that?" Karen questioned her melancholy husband. "I don't want to become the first computer widow."

"Oh, come on, Karen. This isn't about you here. At least have some pity for me."

"You know, Plankton, this isn't always about you either. This is larger than you, especially in size."

"Oh, a height joke? That's fair," he retorted under his breath.

"Oh, I should have listened to my mother," the huge supercomputer groaned.

"But I still don't get it," Ryuk told Squidward for the fifth time as he parked his bike outside the Chum Bucket. "If this guy's food sucks, why are you bothering with him?"

"Because I think it's time he got what he's worked for," Squidward told him for the second time. "You're not too bright are you?"

"You're looking pretty tasty right about now," the death god said to him in a very threatening tone. "I'll tell you this: these sharp teeth aren't just for show."

"What I'm saying is," Squidward replied as calmly as ever. "Plankton has been trying for years to get the Krabby Patty formula, which I 'inherited' when I killed Mr. Krabs. I'd been working for Krabs for years, myself, and never got anywhere because of that crab with money–on–the–brain, so I think it's time he and I both got our dues.

"Ryuk, Step Four of my plan is officially underway!"

As I said before, this fic is getting closer and closer to its conclusion, but I would still give it another three more chapters, maybe five more at the most. But I intend to give you guys a good show before Squidward's last hurrah. Trust me. And one last thing: Mr. Fish makes his first (and maybe last, if he's not careful) appearance in the next chapter.

If there's something you wish to see before the end, don't be afraid to review or send me a PM. I will respond to your requests as best I can. I want the end to be gratifying to more than just myself!