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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight! If I did Jasper would've been the leading man!

Previously on TWIWMTB:

"Bella, I know you won't believe me but we all missed you and we really did care about you, even though some of us never showed it, but there were reasons, which I will explain in time. Don't let our stupidity cause you to be so unhappy and have to fight with your diet." I was worried, she would stop feeding all together, it wouldn't kill her but it was worrisome.

"Jasper I know you're here to help me with my diet, but I just don't know if I can do it. I'm sorry." she said before heading towards the stairs. A few seconds later Peter walked in the room;

"Well that went well."

Bella's POV

"Bella, you need to feed." Peter said for the 47th time today.

"I'm not thirsty." It wasn't a lie. The burning in my throat was minimal, really just like a sore throat.

"The blackness of your eyes says differently." I looked up and caught my reflection in the glass coffee table; my eyes were blacker than the pits of hell. Purple bruises lined the underneath of my eyes.

"When are you going to stop bothering me about this?" I asked frustrated. Peter just smirked.

"When your eyes are either red or gold." he said matter of factly. I chose to ignore him, hoping he would drop it eventually.

"Why won't you feed, Sugar?" he asked, his voice returning to his brotherly tone. I could hear his concern and love with each word.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said like a stubborn two year old. The truth was I wasn't even sure why I couldn't feed.

"Fine Bella, I'll be patient, but I can't say the same for my wife, and the resident empath." I knew he was serious, Charlotte had been checking on me hourly. Then there was Jasper, he checks on me quite often, and I did the same. When my abandonment fears would resurface, I had to track Jasper and make sure he hadn't disappeared. I guess I have more work to do there.

"I'm going for a run around the property. I'll be back before sunrise."

"Good idea Sugar, don't want to scare the animals off with your sparkling ass." Peter said chuckling, causing me to giggle. I gave Peter a playful slap to the chest, and ran outside.

These runs had become a habit, although no one knew the reason. After Jasper arrived I decided to give the vegetarian thing a try. His golden eyes didn't bother me as much as I thought they would and instead made me feel calm and safe.

I had successfully tracked deer, elk, and fox but before I could attack them images of my lost family and their golden eyes haunted me and the pain in my chest opened once again. After many failed attempts, I had no other options. I would not kill a human and too many people needed the blood from the donations. I knew I had to try the animal thing again. My strength was depleted, and I felt drained 24/7.

I ran until I heard the heartbeats. I could tell they were deer, by their scent. There were three, and with every thump, venom pooled in my mouth. I could hear the blood rushing through their veins. I ran the two miles east until they were in my sight.

Their blood called to me, and I charged, and I succeeded. I snapped all three necks so they couldn't get away. I sunk my teeth into each neck in turn and sucked until the blood flowed freely into my mouth. I could feel my strength coming back to me, and soon the monster took over.

Chase. Snap. Drink. Chase. Snap. Drink.

I don't know how long I fed or how far I had gone, but when I looked around I felt like a monster. I was surrounded by animal carcasses; my clothes were ripped and bloody. My guilt over what I had done overwhelmed me, I had just killed Bambi! I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed.

Maybe Edward was right, I wasn't cut out to be a vampire. I was a weak willed human and I am a weak willed vampire. My self-loathing was cut short when the wind picked up a familiar scent. I didn't want him to see me like this - he would think I was a monster; I destroyed an entire family of deer and some other unidentifiable animals, would he leave when he sees me like this?

Jasper's POV

I knew I shouldn't be following her, but something told me she needed me here. Her nightly runs had become routine. She said it was because she enjoyed the feeling of running, but judging by the emotions she felt when she came back I knew something else was going on.

I followed at a distance, so she wouldn't know I was there. I felt like a stalker. I followed her until she stopped. I quickly smelled what had stopped her- three deer two miles east. I was a century old vampire and the heartbeats still caused venom to pool in my mouth, so I knew Bella was feeling it too, and my suspicions were confirmed when she took off running in their direction.

I took off after her and followed her the two miles she ran before stopping a few feet from the deer. I felt her bloodlust spike, but I could also feel her pain. Her mind was already hesitating, and I knew she wouldn't attack, so I decided to step in. I sent her confidence so she would attack and I sent her love, to block out the pain. My smile grew as I watched her lunge at the animals.

She snapped their necks without spilling a drop of blood, and then sunk her teeth into it. I continued to watch as she took off once again, I wasn't surprised she hadn't fed in a week and she was still a newborn, to be honest I was surprised she hadn't snapped sooner.

I watched from the trees as she drank from animal after animal, I found myself distracted by her hunting. Even in a blood lust frenzy she hunted with precision and grace that usually came from years of experience, and I couldn't help but notice, like Emmett, she liked to play with her food, resulting in torn clothing and blood stains.

After a few more deer, I felt her bloodlust dissolve and her emotions steady, Bella was coming back. I watched as she scanned her surroundings and was surprised when I felt remorse and sadness, and my dead heart broke when I heard her choked sobs. She felt remorse for the animals she had killed. Edward was wrong - even as a vampire Bella's soul was untainted.

Bella's sobs drew me towards her. I wanted to stop her pain, and I wanted to comfort and hold her. I approached slowly not wanting to scare her, but quickened my pace as I felt her unworthiness and self-loathing. Her head snapped up as she caught my scent and I was momentarily fazed as I saw bright golden eyes looking up at me. I stood there looking at the broken vampire in front of me.

Her hair was messy and matted with blood streaks in it, her clothes were ripped showing off her slender and toned body, and god she's beautiful. I was stunned by my thoughts - this is Bella after all, and I'm not supposed to think these things about the girl who I called family. The feelings that came with the words 'Bella' and 'family' together didn't sit right in the pit of my stomach; I stopped my ramblings when I felt Bella's disgust increase, and her shame.

I walked up to her, sat on the ground in front of her and hugged her, letting her sob into my chest. I sent her calm and my pride in her for finally trying to hunt.

"Jasper, how can you be proud of me? Look at me I look like a monster." I lifted her chin so she was staring into my eyes.

"You're not a monster Bella. You're a vampire, you need blood to continue on and you're not feeding from humans, you couldn't be farther from a monster. If anybody is a monster here it's me." I could tell Bella was about to interrupt and tell me I wasn't a monster, but I was it was something I had to come to terms with years ago.

"Don't argue with me Bella, I know what I'm saying. As for being proud of you, how could I not? You could've drunk from humans but you didn't, and even though it causes you pain, you fed from animals, and I must say you're quite good at it." I smirked, as I saw a small smile on her lips, but then I felt her confusion.

"You were watching me?" I couldn't get a read on her emotions, I didn't know if she was pissed or just curious.

"I've been worried about you Bella. I always feel your emotions when you come back from running and I knew something was wrong so I followed you. I knew you were doing more than running, and I thought I could help you." She looked confused, but then I saw the light bulb go off in her head.

"You helped me didn't you? That's why I could hunt." I just nodded my head 'yes.' Bella didn't like having her emotions altered, and I was worried I would be joining the pile of carcasses near us.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle seeing you so drained and weak from not hunting, and when I felt your pain before you lunged, I knew I had to do something." I was waiting for her to yell and get angry, but she surprised me when she hugged me and spoke.

"Thank you." I turned my head to look at her, my surprise evident on my face. Bella just giggled. Was it wrong her laugh made my chest flutter?

"Don't be so surprised Jasper. I appreciate what you did for me, but don't be messing with my emotions too often, or I might have to use my super crazy newborn strength on you." She said, amused. To be honest it was the first time since I had arrived I had seen a genuine smile on her face.

We sat in the field, and watched as the sun rose. Bella leaned back to watch the sun, but immediately sat up once she saw me looking at her stomach through the rips in her shirt. I was embarrassed at being caught, but something drew my eyes to her, I quickly removed my over shirt and offered it to her, she gave me a shy look and mumbled a 'thank you'.

We lay in the field in complete silence, enjoying the sunset, when I felt Bella's curiosity grow, and she was avoiding eye contact.

"Want to tell me what has you so curious Darlin?" Embarrassment flooded her emotions; if she were human she would be bright red.

"It's nothing." She mumbled.

"It's not nothing with the emotions you're feeling." She mumbled a quick 'damn empath' and turned on her side, facing me with her hand holding up her head. I couldn't help but laugh; she had been spending too much time with Peter.

"I was looking at you" her embarrassment flared, and I couldn't help the smirk on my face.

"And I was wondering how you got your scars." The smirk was quickly off my face, I forgot how clearly she could see them now. Bella sensing my discomfort immediately started feeling regret.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I shouldn't of asked, Jesus what's wrong with me." She was rambling and I had to stop her.

"Bella calm down, there's nothing to be sorry for. I guess I really should tell you, I think you need to know, but I don't know where to start." Do I tell her that I'm a murderer, the death by my hands totaling thousands flat out? I decided against it, I didn't want her to run away screaming.

"It's always best to start from the beginning, tell me about your human years." I smiled. That was the easy part. I turned to face her, copying her position.

"As a human, I live about 100 miles from here in Houston. I don't remember much other than my last few years of my life. At 17 I joined the Confederate army. I lied and told them I was 20; I was always good at making people believe me. I was promoted quickly through the ranks, and soon became the youngest major in the confederate army, even without knowledge of my real age." These days were important to me, they were the only time I felt pride in myself.

"My army days were short lived. Shortly after the first battle of Galveston, I was put in charge of evacuating the women and children from the area. I left with the first group heading to Houston, which we reached a day later at nightfall. I made sure my group was all there and safe and headed back for another group. We didn't have much time to waste." I remembered this day with perfect clarity, because it was my last.

"About a mile outside the city I saw three women on foot. I thought they were stragglers so I went to offer them my assistance. When I saw them in the moonlight I was stunned, they were pale like snow, and extremely beautiful to my human eyes. I surveyed them quickly, all three were young. The tallest had fair hair, and snow white skin, her voice sounded like chimes as she spoke 'He's speechless.' The other was blonder, with a face like an angel; she stepped closer and inhaled, then exhaled with a simple 'lovely'."

"The smallest one was brunette, her features showing her Mexican heritage, but she was just a pale. She placed her arm on the other only saying 'concentrate'. I could tell the brunette was in charge of the group. The brunette's eyes roamed surveying me before she spoke;

"He's perfect- young, strong, and an officer." Her eyes stared into mine.

"There's something else, can't you tell girls?" they both nodded in agreement while one came towards me, but the brunette stopped her.

"Patience Nettie, I want to keep this one."

"You better do it Maria, I can never stop myself," The other said, and Maria nodded in agreement. Maria told the one to take Nettie away, so there were no distractions and within a blink of an eye they were gone. I knew something was wrong, my instincts were telling me to run, but I foolishly didn't. I looked at Maria who was studying me.

"What's your name soldier?" I stuttered out my reply.

"Major Jasper Whitlock Ma'am." Even in the face of danger I kept myself a gentleman.

"I hope you survive Jasper, I have a feeling you will be very valuable to me." She leaned in as if she was going to kiss me; I stood frozen on the spot, though my mind was screaming at me to run. Then she bit me." I instinctively put my hand over where Maria had bitten me although there was no physical scar, I remembered exactly where.

"A few days later, I woke up scared and bloody in a dark barn. The three women were Nettie, Lucy and Maria." I looked up at Bella for the first time since I had started and saw her staring at me intently, her focus made me feel like I was the only one in the world.

"I understand Peter has told you about the southern wars." Bella nodded 'yes'. I was glad I wouldn't have to explain how truly horrible things were in the south at the time.

"All three of them were survivors' from previous battles, and now they wanted to take over and reclaim territory, so they were building a newborn army. Maria was smart so she chose specific humans, ones that had promise. Maria had become quite fond of me, and I hate to admit I worshipped the ground she walked on. She quickly put me in charge of the newborns, once I was in charge the fighting between newborns decreased and or numbers raised even Nettie, Lucy and Maria got along better." Little did I know my gift played a large part of that?

"We fought many wars together, with casualties on both sides totaling thousands, many dying by my hands and leaving these scars." I looked down at my crescent shaped scars, showing how much of a monster I am.

"The fighting became intense, once Maria ruled most of Texas and northern Mexico, out of the original 20 I was the only one to survive. Everybody wanted us dead, even Nettie and Lucy turned on us, but we won that fight. A few years later I changed Peter. By this point I was the definition of evil, I had no regard for human life and was killing newborns by the dozens as they became useless. To be honest I was done with it all at this point. Peter somehow got through to me, he became my only friend. Peter's job was to watch the newborns, really he was there babysitter." Peter hated it; it really was a full time job.

"The time came to dispose of the useless newborns, and Peter was to help me. We were almost done, when Peter tried to convince me some of them had potential, but Maria said they all go, so I said no. As I called the next newborn, Peter's emotions shifted he became angry, furious even I thought he was going to attack me, that newborn was Charlotte. When he saw her his emotions shifted again, but this time all I felt was all consuming love. He screamed at me not to do it, and then screamed at Charlotte to run, he chased after her, and I let them get away. When I felt the love he had for her I couldn't go after them."

"Maria wasn't happy with me, but I didn't care I was done pleasing her. Then five years later Peter returned, with tales of how life was in the north. No fighting for blood and living peacefully with both vampires and humans. I was ready to leave immediately. He couldn't have come at a better time. Things were tense with me and Maria and she would've either killed me or I would've killed her. I left with Peter and lived with him and Charlotte for years, but my depression never faded. I thought something was wrong with me, and then Peter noticed it would always get worse after I hunted. I realized he was right, the fear and pain I felt from my prey was affecting me more than I realized. I left Peter and Charlotte soon afterwards."

"I continued living as a nomad, switching from town to town, still feeding off humans and feeling worse with each passing day. Then one day things got better. I was in Philadelphia and it was raining heavily, so I ducked into a half empty diner, thinking people would be suspicious if I stayed outside any longer. I sat in a booth, keeping my head low when I recognized the scent of another vampire. At first I thought she was going to attack; old habits die hard, you know. Instead she approached me and smiled she stuck out her hand and said 'You've been keeping me waiting.' I ducked my head like a good southern gentleman and said 'I'm sorry Ma'am.' She took my hand and told me of this lifestyle and told me we would spend many happy years together. It was the first time in a long time I felt hope so I went with her.

I looked up relieved that Bella was still there, and hadn't run away, but I was immediately drawn to her emotions. There was no fear, no disgust even as she looked at my scars. Why was she not running away from the monster I am?

"God Jasper! How can you call yourself a monster? You're the bravest person I have ever met." I looked at her shocked.

"Bella, did you not hear me? I've killed thousands for no reason but blood and territory."

"You did it to survive Jasper, how were you to know there was a different way to live. The only monster in your story is Maria." I felt her sincerity and didn't miss the hiss that came with Maria's name; she really did have a bad effect on people.

"Maria may be a monster, but I have killed just as many. I will always be a monster; it's something I've been dealing with for over a century." As soon as the words were out of my mouth Bella was in front of me on her knees taking my hand in hers.

"I don't want you to call yourself a monster anymore. Please believe me when I say you're nothing close." The look in her eyes captivated me. No one had ever made me feel less disgusted with myself, not even the Cullen's or Alice.

"Thank you Bella." I said hugging her tightly.

"There's no need for thanks. I'm just speaking the truth, and you're an amazing man Jasper Hale." I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you darlin' but I've gone back to my roots, its Whitlock now." Bella froze and looked up at me, confused and other emotions swirling around.

"Want to tell me what's up with your emotions?"

"Whitlock is your last name? I thought it was Peter's."

"Peter didn't remember his last name; I sired him and was like a brother, so he took my name. Why are you asking?"

"Well when Peter got me new documents he made my last name Whitlock. I won't use it if you don't want me to. I just couldn't use Swan, because they were looking for me, and Renee's maiden name is a little too out there..." Bella was rambling so I decided to stop her. I placed my finger over her lips and spoke;

"Bella I don't care if you use my last name, besides your family." Was it wrong I liked how Bella Whitlock sounded? Was it bad that I almost had to force out the word family? It sounded so wrong. Bella looked up at me and smiled a bright smile, and when I felt my dead heart almost beat I knew why this was happening;

Shit! I'm in love with Bella!

A/N So what did you think? I was really excited with this chapter and I hope you enjoyed it. So yes Jasper has finally figured it out, I bet your all glad, I know I am. Next chapter will hopefully be up soon.

Thank you to all those who have added me or this story to their favorites or alerts it really means a lot to me.

Big thank you to all those who reviewed: SAVAGEGRACEx, JXB Addicted, LittleRin26, mssmith, Vampir3.S3duction, Kittyinaz, amandaR29, traceybuie, katandjasper, Twisted-Twilighter, vampiremom1221, kouga's older woman, twimama77, mmelody6, jacs654322, Bripearl, ammNIwriter, TwilightAddict71484, cathy29jes, Crazymusician22, SkylerBlack, AyameRose, nerdz, seza3175, Nissa-Cullen, sousie.

Super special thank you to my amazing beta notyouravgmom, without you I don't know what I would do!

Shirtless Jasper hugs to all who review!

-TheNewestCullenKid-