It wasn't that bad, but I don't think I want to go into the details of it. It definitely wasn't pleasant; I could find better ways to make a meal. But I guess, after a while, a person could get used to it. Oh, excuse me—I mean a vampire.

Everything tasted, well, different. I wasn't so right about the bread and mashed potatoes; the blood tasted more like flavored water. The deer tasted like meat and vegetables—I figured that was because deer ate that sort of stuff. Nothing appealed more than anything else to me, but Esme assured me that I just hadn't found my animal yet. We didn't have much selection in that forest, but she told me that we would go on an exotic hunting trip soon. And then I got hopeful again, because she mentioned that we could use animals to get to our favorite foods again; like if we found an animal with one of our favorite foods in their diet, they would taste, if not remotely, like that food.

Even the fact that I wasn't technically alive didn't seem so dreary anymore.

Unfortunately, it had started to rain as we headed back. We ran at a medium pace; faster than humans, but slower than we had getting there. I couldn't feel my eyes change, but I assumed they were very light topaz; I had eaten a lot.

I wondered if the eye color changed from clan to clan, but I felt stupid asking Esme. I sighed as we walked, and Esme looked over at me questioningly; I finally decided I had to know, and said, "How does a vampire get its eye color?" I had assumed not all vampires had topaz eyes.

Esme smiled. "Jasper had that same question right after he got turned," She told me, making me feel loads better. "You get the same eye color as the vampire that bit you. I guess it goes back a long, long time; but the first vampires bit their humans, and they acquired their eye color. Since Edward bit you, you got his eye color."

I grinned, and we kept walking.

By the time we got back, I realized that now that I was a vampire, I had a lot more options. I could actually go after Edward—assuming I could take on other vampires who had probably been vampires for a heck of a lot longer than me. But then again, who knew what was happening with him?

Since my mind was all jumbled up anyways, I decided now would be a good time to take a trip. Port Angeles was the logical decision; it was close by, in case of emergency, and it was large enough to drown my sorrows in.

It took a while to convince everyone to let me go—they were super wary, even with me being a vampire now and all—and in the end they finally let me go, but only with a part-chaperone; Emmett and Jasper had to get presents for Alice and Rosalie, so they drove in a different car, right behind me. I drove slow to tease them; they had instructions to drive directly behind me, but I still wasn't used to vampire speeding. I kept at the speed limit, and I could see their scowls in the rearview mirror.

The only thing that really distracted me from everything was, well, my looks. I kept glancing in the mirror, expecting the beauty to vanish, to be replaced by my old self. But it didn't. I finally decided it was a magic mirror—everything was. Because that couldn't really be me.

And then another thought hit me: what would Edward think? Would he be happy, or sad? I had a feeling that if I had become coordinated, he would be unhappy. But what about this? Scary thoughts had come to me, on that long drive: as in, was Edward really in love with me, or my imperfections? Maybe he was just so used to everything being so good, he just loved the difference. Maybe he didn't really love me.

Or maybe he did.

Maybe I would never know.

I tried not to cry—not that I could, anyways—as I drove.

And then I hit the breaks so hard, my car squealed and practically tipped forward, at the last second sliding a bit so it didn't. It was like when I was younger and on a bike, if I braked too hard on the front brake I would go flying over the front handlebars.

Thank God for windshields.

But that insane stoppage was justified; because right there, I had seen it. I was pretty sure it was it.

When Jasper and Emmett saw that I was getting out of my car, they started grumbling and got out of their car too. They both looked fully prepared to yell at me, but then I think they saw my expression.

I hadn't told anyone about my dreams, but they had been lingering in the back of my mind. I mean, I'd heard about this sort of thing happening; you know, like déjà vu, except different. And I had been having this one for two nights.

And there it was, the exact picture from my dream; that pathway, surrounded on all sides by white, pink, and yellow flowers. The pathway was gray, sort of gravelly-looking, but actually solid, I discovered as I took a step on it.

"We have to go here," I told them, pointing down the path.

They exchanged a look.

"Er…why?" Emmett wanted to know.

I sighed impatiently. "I had a dream, about this. I think it might take us to, you know, Edward and Alice. Or at least one of them." If I could've blushed, I would've. I suddenly felt really childish and stupid. Like a wannabe detective.

Emmett's look told me he agreed. Well, at least, he thought I was delusional or something—but then Jasper whispered something so quick that I couldn't make it out apparently vampires had to practice that quick speech thing and Emmett's look softened.

"All right." Jasper said, though he kept his distance from me. "Lead the way."

I suddenly didn't feel so brave anymore. There was something so innocent about this path that it was almost scary. I badly wanted Emmett or Jasper to lead, but I couldn't ask them; they would think I was a baby.

You're not breakable anymore, I reminded myself, trying to think gutsy thoughts. It wasn't really working, but I didn't have time for that. Do you want Edward or not? I finally asked myself, frustrated; I was playing tricks with myself, but it was a desperate time, and I really couldn't be scared.

The path seemed to go on forever, but luckily vampires get sustained stamina. I would have dropped dead, otherwise. There would be a twist in the path and my nonexistent heart would stop; but then the path would just continue. The flowers were still there, everywhere, and in the far, very, very far distance, I could make out treetops; but it looked like for miles and miles there were just flowers, even with my new eyesight. I wondered why no one ever noticed it, driving from Forks to Port Angeles—there were probably trees blocking the flowers from the road, except for that one slice, that no one ever really paid attention to. It probably looked like a driveway or walkway to a home of some sort.

After what seemed like hours, and hearing Jasper and Emmett's impatient sighs behind me, the path finally stopped. Yes, it just stopped. It melted into the flowers, which seemed to go on forever in front of me as well.

And then my vision went away, and I was spiraling down into darkness.