CHAPTER 10

I'm never leaving Edward's bed ever again. We stumbled from the bathtub to his room a few hours ago and he won't stop kissing me. I'm not complaining. I think I could survive on his kisses alone for the rest of my life. I would be quite content, spending the rest of eternity exploring every last inch of Edward Cullen's body.

I discover a constellation of freckles on his right shoulder, a little arc of spots with a lone freckle making a point. When I connect the dots, they make the exact shape of a slice of pizza. I giggle to myself and he asks me, "What's so funny?" Edward snorts at my explanation and just goes back to his task at hand, namely memorizing the shape of my breasts with his mouth. I run my fingers along his shoulder blades, trace the slightly raised scars on his back.

"Where did these come from?"

He releases my nipple from his lips. "You ask too many questions," he says with a grimace.

I worry I've crossed the line. I honestly don't know where the line is anymore. It's probably some werewolf thing he doesn't want to talk about. I'm surprised at how quickly I've acclimated to the fact. Just another item on the rather small list of things I know about Edward Cullen. He has green eyes and reddish-brown hair. He doesn't like to talk much. He's amazing in bed. And he is a werewolf. This new information is strange and scary and I'm not sure if I'm entirely okay with it. But he's still Edward.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable with it, I mean, it's none of my business-"

"Hey," he cups my face in his hand, "I was kidding." I relax visibly. "I don't know where they came from."

"How long have you had them?"

"I don't remember. Since always."

"What about this one?"

He glances down at the white scar on his elbow. "Freshman year. Some idiot kid fouled me hard during a basketball game."

"You played basketball?"

For a brief moment, the image of Michael J. Fox in Teenwolf crosses my mind and I stifle a giggle. Too late though. Edward catches me and just gives me the side eye, but the corner of his mouth curls up ever so slightly so he's not mad. I just can't imagine Edward as a skinny teenager in basketball shorts. In my mind he came out of the womb fully grown with a five o'clock shadow, clutching a flask and a pack of cigarettes.

"I did. Until that game. Carlisle thought it was too risky for me to play...with the blood issue and all." He kind of mumbles the last part.

I've touched his blood. It didn't even cross my mind when I was cleaning him up. I mean, why would it? Oh God. Edward's eyes go wide as he senses my growing concern. "Bella...fuck...you don't have to worry about that. It doesn't work that way. I have to be...changed, and then bite or scratch someone for them to be infected. I can't hurt you like this, when I'm...normal. Carlisle's just really cautious." His voice trails off toward the end.

My brain is buzzing with a multitude of scenarios of what could have gone wrong that night. If he had just gotten close enough to me that night, I could have...I could be... I don't want to think about it. It's too much for my brain to process right now. Part of me want to shrink away from him right now. But I look down at Edward and he has his eyes shut tight, rubbing the bridge of his nose as if he's in pain. I wish I hadn't brought it up. I wish I didn't feel this way.

"Edward..." I say, touching him softly.

"Edward."

He still won't open his eyes, so I kiss him on the mouth. I slip my tongue between his lips, pressing gently until he grants me entry, finally kissing me back. We forget ourselves for a short while. I leave all those words unsaid hanging between us like a knife and lose myself in Edward's skin. I push my doubt to the back of my mind. I think he knows I'm trying to distract him but he lets me anyway.

We can't stay in bed forever.

When the sex haze has lifted, when we are no longer safely entangled between his sheets, Edward's face dims and he sinks back into silence.

"I need to go to the workshop."

"Oh. Okay."

Of course he does. The doors have been open to the elements for days. Anything or anyone could have been in there this whole time. It hadn't even crossed my mind, but it explains his edginess.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

For a brief fleeting moment, I see a flicker of panic in Edward's eyes, but just as quickly, the mask is back. I don't know why I asked. I already know what his answer is going to be.

"No," he says finally, not really looking at my face.

I offer up a weak smile, eager to diffuse the tension. "It's okay. I'll just see you later I guess?"

Edward nods. I stand awkwardly and watch as he takes his keys, pausing at the door before walking out without another word.

I thought we were past this. Foolishly, I believed something had changed between us. Clearly, I was wrong.

He's gone all day. I make a valiant effort to wait up for him, but my body is completely drained from the past few days. After holding out as long as I can, with a sinking feeling I finally admit to myself that he's not coming back tonight. My heart feels like a lead weight in my chest. I go back to my own room, not Edward's. I'm not sure he wants me there anymore. The fireplace remains cold, unlit. I undress and slide under the covers, willing myself into a fitful sleep.

I'm woken by an arm snaking around my waist, Edward's cool body wrapped behind my own. His nose, inhaling deeply, running along the nape of my neck. I turn over to face him, to make sure he's real, that he's not a dream.

"Everything okay?"

He nods slowly. He lowers his eyes to my mouth, before pressing a soft kiss against my lips. I think I believe him. I want to.

Edward was right.

I suck at chopping wood. I make few valiant attempts, only narrowly missing my foot with the axe by mere inches. Wordlessly, Edward places his hand on the axe handle and takes the deadly instrument away from my grasp. I'm kind of mortified. There's no firewood left and I can't even manage this simple task. All those times I'd secretly spy on him, he made it look so effortless, natural, even sexy. As if the axe was just an extension of his well-muscled arms.

"We're going to freeze tonight," I tell him, apologetic.

"No we won't." He smirks at me. He wraps his good arm around my waist and pulls me close, placing a kiss on my lips. My distress is temporarily displaced. He's been kissing me all morning, but the newness hasn't worn off yet. I don't know if it ever will.

"Come on city girl, let's get some food in you."

We make pumpkin pancakes. Or rather, Edward does. He's too much of a control freak to cede over his kitchen to me for long. He points to a chair and orders me to sit while he cooks. I don't mind, I like watching the way he moves around the kitchen, in his natural habitat. He's not wearing the sling around his arm anymore either. I ask him about it and he just shrugs it off, says he's almost completely healed.

"Can I see?"

Edward looks reluctant, but he unbuttons his flannel anyway, pulling down his undershirt and exposing the injured shoulder to me. My eyes grow wide as I trace the place where his gunshot wound was only two days ago. In it's place is shiny, newly healed skin. This is unbelievable. It's impossible.

Edward watches my face warily, as I examine him. He looks nervous.

"How much longer until you're one hundred percent?"

"Another day. Probably."

"Are there any other...side effects? Besides healing quickly?" I keep my voice low, as if by doing so, I can just sneak the question past him.

He looks around the room for a bit, anywhere but my face. I've been trying to slowly coax him into opening up to me, but it's a delicate endeavor. Edward either shuts down completely or tries to evade my questions by distracting me, usually with sex. It usually works. I'm not complaining, it's preferable to the former and I'm probably guilty of it as well. Our relationship is so fragile, so new, I'm terrified of making the wrong choice and destroying it before we've even begun.

"I have heightened senses, all the time. I can hear, see, taste, and smell better than most humans."

I try to control my face, to not react to the fact that Edward does not consider himself human. He still won't look at me.

"A few days before the full moon, everything is more intense."

"So that first night, when we...in the hot tub?"

He nods. He drags his gaze along the length of my body. "I wanted you. From day one. But I made myself stay away from you."

He closes the space between us. It's like we just met all over again. I feel as if all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room.

"What changed?"

"You had on that tiny bikini..." He runs his hand along the side of my hip, sliding his fingers under the waistband of my jeans. "...and I could smell your arousal."

He's said far more obscene things to me but I blush deeply anyway. Edward leans into me, licking the nape of my neck. "I wanted to see if your pussy tasted as sweet."

Feeling bold, I ask, "Does it?"

"It's better," he whispers, pulling down my zipper. "You have the sweetest, wettest pussy Bella." He lifts me onto the kitchen table, roughly stripping me of my jeans and panties until I am completely naked from the waist down. He pulls up a chair and sits between my spread legs. I wait, as he slides his big hands up my inner thighs, eagerly anticipating the moment when he finally tastes me.

For the longest time, the only sound is the rise and fall of our breath. And then my moans, increasing in volume and intensity with every kiss from Edward's lips. His tongue, lapping and sucking my wet skin, two fingers fucking me. He makes me come, and then come again, until I am bucking into his face and screaming on the kitchen table. He takes one last lick before sitting up and grinning his crooked grin at me, his mouth and chin covered in my wetness. Edward wipes his face with the hem of his shirt. It's equal parts adorable and incredibly hot.

When I have recovered sufficiently, I move to get off the table but Edward stops me.

"Stay. I want to look at you."

"Okay." I smile at him, suddenly bashful. I lean forward and kiss his lips.

"That was amazing," I say. Edward just smirks, the smug bastard. He knows how good he is. I've had guys go down on me before and it was always mediocre at best. My ex always claimed to love giving oral, but he was only ever down there like, three minutes, max. When he could be bothered to do it, he'd just lap at me, these pathetic little kitten licks. I couldn't feel anything. Edward on the other hand, he always makes me feel like there is no other place in the world he would want to be except between my legs. He's just so...sensitive, responsive, so aware of my body it's eerie.

"I guess having a werewolf boyfriend has it's advantages."

I giggle a bit, but as soon as the words tumble out of my mouth, I know I've said the wrong thing. I watch the light drain from his eyes, and a look on his face replaced by horror. He pushes his chair away and looks down at the floor as he scrambles to close his shirt.

"Edward...don't," I say quickly, placing a hand on his wrist. He shakes me off. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

He stops moving. It looks as if he's trying to calm himself down, willing himself into even breaths. I don't understand what is going through his head. Stupid stupid Bella. I shouldn't have called him a werewolf. But we were talking about it, so I thought it was okay, but I should have known better. Is it the boyfriend thing? We haven't talked about it, but what are we? I don't know what to say, I reach my hand out to touch him but pull back.

When he finally speaks he is quiet, defeated. "How can you stand it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Me. How can you stand being with me Bella?"

I begin to shake my head slowly. "Edward, I..."

"I'm a freak. A monster. An fucking abomination to nature. I never should have been born." he says the words so quietly, so evenly. He genuinely believes it. He's told himself this a million times, I think. It breaks my heart. "I killed my own mother. I could have killed you. How can you stand it? Why are you still here?" I jump when he slams his fist hard into the table.

"Edward, please. Please stop. You're not a monster. Stop saying that," I plead.

"No. It's the truth."

"No, it's not. Edward—"

I'm interrupted by a loud knock on the door. We both freeze and stare at the front door. In all of my two months here, I've never seen another soul. Not even a neighbor or a passing hiker. The cabin is hidden deep in the woods and is far off from the road, so whoever is at the door is not here by chance.

"Were you expecting someone?" I whisper.

"No." He looks perturbed, subconsciously moving to place himself between me and the front door. He picks my jeans and underwear up off the floor and shoves them into my hands. Without another word, Edward pulls me into the kitchen and pushes me into the pantry.

"Stay here."

I'm too surprised to argue. There is another loud knock at the door. Edward walks to the front of the house and I hear him pull his shot gun down. I hear the sound of the butt of the gun resting gently on the floor, and then Edward turning the locks.

The door opens, just a bit.

"Hello there." I hear a man's voice. He seems a little hesitant. He waits for Edward to respond. He doesn't. "I'm sorry to drop in on you unannounced. I'd like to introduce myself, I'm Dr. Bob Banner."

He sounds pleasant. Pretty harmless. The shotgun might have been a little over the top. But then again, that's how I met him and it may just be Edward's customary greeting. I can just picture this guy with his hand extended in greeting and Edward just looking at it in disdain. Edward says nothing. He's probably doing the thing where he stares you down and you don't know whether to run away or in my case, drop my panties and let him have his way with me. Dr. Banner, because he is most likely a normal, socialized person will want to fill the uncomfortable silence soon.

"Ah well, yes, I'm sorry I didn't call beforehand, it's just, I didn't have a number to call...Mister...what did you say your name was?" Undaunted by Edward's lack of response, the man continues. "Actually, the reason I came was...is Jasper Whitlock here?"