Chapter 9
Kyleigh managed to get through the last month of school, though she wasn't sure how. The worst part was when the principal and nurse decided to hold an assembly on HIV/AIDS.
Kyleigh tried to sit in the back row so no one could stare at her, but the nurse forced her to sit in the front, along with the few students who sort of supported her.
"I know lately there have been some rumors circulating about the disease HIV, and as with most rumors, they are completely inaccurate," the principal said. "Next year, we are going to implement a section on this disease in your health classes, but for the time being, Mrs. Turner and I would like to educate you so that we can put these rumors to rest." He nodded to the nurse, who came up to the podium.
She was a rather large woman, but she had a voice so high it rivaled Minnie Mouse, so it was difficult for anyone to take her seriously. "First of all, there are several misconceptions about HIV, or Human Immunodeficiency Virus. Some believe that it is an airborne disease, or that it can be spread through physical contact. However, HIV is spread through the exchange of bodily fluids."
She didn't acknowledge the snickers or catcalls that started as she referred to the "bodily fluids."
She continued, "As a side note, this is why safe sex is important. HIV is most commonly spread through unprotected intercourse with an HIV positive person. This includes oral sex."
Kyleigh blushed bright red. Now everyone thought she'd gotten it from someone going down on her. There were even more catcalls from the back of the auditorium.
"However it can also be spread through contaminated syringes. Less commonly, infants can be born with the disease if their mother is infected, or if she breast feeds after infection."
Principal McGregor cut her off, "Essentially, if you are smart and protect yourself, the likelihood of getting infected is low. Just know that HIV is a blood disease, so avoiding contact with other people's blood is the key." He sat back down. Mrs. Turner continued as though she hadn't been interrupted.
"Another misconception is HIV and AIDS are the same thing. AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, and is the final stage of HIV. Nowadays it is extremely rare for an HIV positive person to get AIDS, because there are advanced treatments to help keep an HIV positive person healthy. So long as they consistently take their medication and keep a healthy lifestyle, an infected person can live a long and happy life." Mrs. Turner smiled at Kyleigh, which only made things worse. If there was anyone in the school unaware of what was going on, now they all knew she was the reason they were in this stupid assembly.
To Kyleigh's increased horror, Principal McGregor and Mrs. Turner had put together a sappy video about the struggles of having HIV and the importance of having support to get through difficult times. Almost two hours later, they were all dismissed, looking as though they had just gone through an intense battle. Kyleigh ducked her head, allowing her hair to cover her face, as she hurried towards her homeroom.
"Hey, Kyleigh, exchange any bodily fluids with anyone lately?" one kid jeered at her. She ignored him, intent on getting to her classroom. One good thing about being marked as the "sick kid" was no one wanted to touch her, so she moved through crowds easily.
That didn't stop the yelling though. "Do you wanna borrow my needle? It's a lot more sterile than your old one."
"Do you burn your tampons or do you toss them at people you don't like?"
She had almost made it into the room, when a shower of condoms fell over her head. She turned, seeing Sarah standing over her, holding an empty box of Trojans. "Maybe next time you'll use a condom," Katie said, looking around at everyone and laughing.
Kyleigh looked to Bethany, who had averted her eyes. Over Bethany's shoulder, Kyleigh saw Matt, also avoiding looking at her. Kyleigh stooped down, picking up a condom and twirling it between her fingers. She handed it back to Sarah, who looked confused. "I just thought you might want to keep one, in case anyone takes pity and decides to sleep with you."
There were a lot of "oohs" and "oh shits" whispered throughout the hall. Sarah took a dramatic step back. "Gross, don't touch me."
"Weren't you listening? HIV is only spread through bodily fluids, and the last time I checked, no one had expressed any interest in doing that with you." Kyleigh had no idea where any of this was coming from; maybe just from a month of torment and isolation finally taking its toll.
Sarah leaned forward. "You're a slut and a bitch. I hope when you die, you rot in hell so no one else will get infected."
Without thinking, Kyleigh slapped her across the face. Several people gasped. Sarah stumbled back, howling about how she was going to get sick.
"See you in hell, Sarah," Kyleigh spat, then walked away before anyone could react. Kyleigh headed straight out the door, back to that courtyard she'd hid in a month ago. To her surprise, she didn't feel the need to cry. She started to laugh then clapped a hand over her mouth. What was wrong with her? Was she losing it? Another laugh threatened to overtake her.
"I saw what you did," Matt said from behind her.
"Did you? The last I saw, you weren't looking at me." Kyleigh didn't bother turning around.
"Okay fine, I heard what you did." He came around so he was standing in front of her.
"Come to throw some condoms on me? How about some pig's blood?" Kyleigh was still giggling a little.
"I came to apologize, actually." He rubbed the back of his head in the way boys do when they feel uncomfortable.
"What for?" Kyleigh had finally gotten a grip and was leaning back, looking up at him.
"I dunno." Matt shuffled his feet. Kyleigh noticed for the first time how big his feet were. She'd never paid much attention to him beyond his sense of humor. "I guess for everything. Standing you up was really shitty."
"Yup, it sure was." Kyleigh nodded in agreement.
"And not talking to you after was also pretty shitty."
"Yup," Kyleigh said again.
"So I guess just…sorry. Sorry you have to go through all of this." He gestured towards the building.
"Let me guess, this is just to clear your conscience, and after you walk away we'll never speak again." Kyleigh looked him in the eye until he broke contact.
"Ky, don't talk like that," he said quietly.
"Talk like what? I'm right, aren't I?" Kyleigh grinned at him. "Come on, admit that you're too scared to stand up to Bethany. It's okay."
"That's not true," he said automatically.
Kyleigh cocked a brow at him, giving him her best "oh really?" look.
"It's easier to give in than to fight. I know you don't have a lot of experience in this, but you'll learn soon." He ducked down so she could hear better. "And the sooner you learn, the easier it will be."
She could tell he didn't want anyone to know what he was saying, or even that he was talking to her. "Nope," she said louder than she needed to, enjoying the panicked look on his face. "Sorry, that's not gonna happen. If not compromising what I believe to fit in makes me a social outcast, I embrace it. I'm not a coward."
"Neither am I!" He shot back in a whisper.
"Oh okay, Matt." Kyleigh stood up. "Whatever helps you sleep at night. See you around." She backed away slowly, going back towards the building. They could only hurt her if she let them.
"Lisa?" Kyleigh asked. They were on their way to the art studio where Kyleigh had started taking art lessons as soon as school had ended. "Are you really going to give me up?"
Lisa stiffened in the driver's seat. It was a topic they consciously avoided, but Kyleigh was tired of pretending. "It's not really like that, Kyleigh," she said, though Kyleigh could tell she was just hedging.
"Well, what is it like?" Kyleigh wasn't imagining it: Lisa was driving a little faster than usual.
"Fostering is technically a temporary thing, and it's been over a year." Lisa had to brake for a red light. She tapped her fingers nervously against the steering wheel. "It's not that we don't care for you. It's just that this experience is overwhelming."
Kyleigh nodded. She felt as though she had aged rapidly since her parents left. She knew her classmates were going on grand vacations and having summer flings, while Kyleigh was attending art camp three days a week and taking extra courses to get ahead in school.
"And," Lisa paused, breathing deeply. "For the sake of our marriage, we need to do this."
"Are you and Ryan getting a divorce?" Kyleigh asked, shocked.
Lisa winced. "We've been attending couples therapy for the last six months. The goal is not to get divorced, and that's the real reason why we can't keep you. Is that horribly selfish?"
Kyleigh thought for a few minutes. "Sort of…but I understand it, kind of." Kyleigh couldn't explain how she felt, but thankfully Lisa didn't press the issue, instead dropping Kyleigh off at the curb and telling her she would be there at four to pick her up.
When Kyleigh was in the studio, nothing mattered. Under the direction of Ginger, the slightly batty art instructor, Kyleigh had progressed from graphite to painting. As soon as she got inside, she went straight to the window to see if the dragonfly she had painted the previous class was dry yet. She had spent the entire day stenciling the dragonfly and then filling it in, being careful not to smudge it. Before, she preferred black and white art, but now that she was painting, everything she did was full of color. Thanks to the light coming through the window, the pinks and oranges of the dragonfly's wings glowed like a sunset. The green and blue tones of its body darkened when she took it down to look closer. She was pleased that it hadn't smudged.
"That's beautiful, Kyleigh," Ginger said from behind her, making Kyleigh jump. Ginger moved like a dragonfly herself: silently and sneakily.
"Thanks, Ginger." Kyleigh placed it down on the wooden table, reminding herself to grab it before she left. "What are we working on today?"
"You're not going to like it," Ginger said cheerfully. She steered Kyleigh over to a stool at the back of the room. "We're doing self-portraits today."
Kyleigh and the rest of the class groaned. "Do we have to?" someone in the back of the room asked.
"You don't have to do anything, it's just strongly preferred," Ginger responded. "I'm going to take your picture here and then you get to recreate it however you want. This isn't about accuracy, it's about expression and perception. Line up now, the sooner we take the pictures, the sooner you get to work!"
The class grumbled, but allowed Ginger to snap their picture and take away the print. Kyleigh went last, not smiling, but not frowning either. Ginger handed her the photo with a smile. Kyleigh blew her hair out of her face, staring at the picture, weighing her options. After much deliberation, she went with pencil instead of paint.
She threw herself into the project for the rest of the day, jumping again when Ginger tapped her on the shoulder to tell her time was up. Kyleigh sat back to examine her work. She'd only done an outline of herself, creating the shape of her face, but not drawing in her features yet. She'd started working on her hair, but there was too much of it to handle at once.
"Very nice," Ginger complimented. She made everyone line their work up on the windowsill to assess at the end of the day. Other people were almost done with theirs, though they weren't as detailed as Kyleigh's. Others had barely done anything, claiming to have "painters block."
"Kyleigh," Ginger called, holding the girl up as everyone else shuffled out the door. She handed Kyleigh the dragonfly painting. "I really love the work you've done. Have you considered displaying it in a gallery?"
Kyleigh shook her head, horrified at the thought.
Ginger seemed to read Kyleigh's mind, as she said "Don't be nervous. I think you would do great, but only do it if you're comfortable, of course. Bye now, see you next time." She patted Kyleigh's shoulder lightly. Kyleigh watched the older woman retreat to the back of the studio, unsure of how to feel.
In the car, there was no mention of the conversation Lisa and Kyleigh had had that morning. Lisa was excited when Kyleigh told her what Ginger had said. "Oh, Ky, that would be great! You should at least consider it. It will look great on your records!"
"Records for what?" Kyleigh pulled her knees to her chest. They were stuck in traffic on the side roads leading to the house.
"For college, of course," Lisa said, as though this were obvious.
"College?" Kyleigh hadn't thought that far ahead before.
"You were planning on going, right?" Lisa glanced over at her before rolling forward.
"Uh…" Kyleigh honestly hadn't, because she didn't know how she would afford it. "Not really. I'm only a sophomore."
"It's never too early to start looking," Lisa replied smoothly.
Kyleigh decided against asking Lisa how she would afford it. After dinner that night, she sent emails to Carlisle and Trudy, both updating them on how her summer was and mentioning the art show. She received responses within a few minutes of each other, both encouraging her to submit her work.
I'll call you soon, I promise. Carlisle added at the bottom of his email.
Kyleigh didn't know how soon "soon" was to Carlisle. She occupied herself by doing some sketching in the notepad he'd given her for Christmas. She was almost out of pages. Close to midnight, after Kyleigh had showered, brushed her teeth, and crawled into bed, ready to read her book, her phone rang. "Carlisle," Kyleigh said, already smiling.
"Hi Kyleigh, how are you?"
Kyleigh could hear a light whooshing noise in the background. "I'm good. Are you driving?"
"Yes, ma'am," he replied. "Time to go home."
"Late night," she commented.
"You too. I wasn't sure if you would still be up. You're going to class tomorrow, yes?"
"Yes sir," she parroted. "Lisa is making me take French II over the summer so I don't have to struggle with it on top of my other classes this fall."
"In that case, bonjour," Carlisle said teasingly.
"Bonjour, comment allez-vous?" she said.
"Très bien merci," he responded.
"I didn't know you spoke French." Kyleigh flopped onto her back, staring up at the lights she had strung across her ceiling.
"Only a little bit. I couldn't hold a conversation in it. So, an art gallery?"
"I know. Crazy, right?" The small lights were bringing stars to her eyes, so she closed them.
"It's not a terrible idea. You're very talented, and it could be fun to get your work out there." She could hear Carlisle's windshield wipers pumping. She was jealous; it hadn't rained in a few weeks.
"Lisa said it would look good for college as well," Kyleigh threw out there, curious about his reaction.
"And she's very right. Extra-curricula's look great to schools."
"Carlisle," Kyleigh said with a laugh. "There's no way I'm going to college. I don't even know if I'm going to finish high school." She could hear Lisa and Ryan talking in their bedroom. Since Lisa had mentioned their marital troubles, Kyleigh had observed them carefully; nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
"Of course you are. Why wouldn't you?"
"My impending home change is definitely going to disrupt things, unless they find me a home down here and I can stay at the same school."
"Which I doubt you really want," Carlisle observed. "Trudy mentioned what happened last month."
Kyleigh blushed a little, glad he couldn't see her. "Sorry I didn't email the story to you. I was over telling it at that point."
"Quite alright. Only tell me what you're comfortable telling." His directional clicked in the background. She wondered how close to home he was. "Anyway, you'll finish high school, don't worry about that, and definitely don't worry about college yet. You just focus on you for now."
"Lisa said that they're giving me back because otherwise she and Ryan are going to get divorced," Kyleigh blurted out. She hadn't intended on telling him.
He didn't sound surprised at the news, instead saying he thought that might be the reason.
"Why would you think that? They seem so happy together."
Carlisle chuckled. "When you get older and maybe even get married, you'll be able to see past the illusions people put on."
"How long have you been married?" she asked. She really didn't know much about him. They always talked about her.
"Long enough," he said shortly.
"You said the same thing when I asked how old you were." Kyleigh pouted. "You can't repeat answers, Carlisle."
"I suppose I can't argue with you there, but it doesn't matter either way," he evaded. Kyleigh chose not to push the subject. They moved back to discussing her art and showing at a gallery. Close to one a.m., Carlisle told Kyleigh she should go to sleep.
"I'm not tired," she lied, stifling a yawn.
"Well I am," he responded teasingly. "It's time for you to go to bed. You've got a big day of French to look forward to."
"Oh gee," she said dryly, "I'm so excited."
Carlisle laughed. "Dormez bien, Kyleigh."
"Bonne nuit, Carlisle," she responded then hung up.