Amy went straight to her room when she got inside, as she felt like crying
and hated to let her family see that. She lay facedown on the bed, a
million feelings rushing through her. Above all, she could see Andy's face,
that look of hurt mixed with betrayal and anger. She might have done some
serious damage here. Things were shifting, and there was really nothing
that she could do to stop the progression of events. She did want Ben, and
she knew that was killing Andrew, and there was no way around it.
"Amy, are you all right?" Jack asked from the hallway outside her room.
"I'm fine, please go away," she responded, her voice muffled by the pillow.
"Can I come in?" he asked. "Just for a minute."
He took her silence as permission and opened the door, coming over to sit next to her on the bed. He rubbed her back for a few moments before speaking. "Want to tell me what happened?" he asked finally.
"I've ruined everything," she said. "Andrew hates me, Ben thinks he's 'won' me, and I hate this whole situation. I want it to go back to the way it was, Dad. Why does it have to be so hard?"
"Well, because you're a teenager, and that makes things at least ten times as hard as they should be. It toughens you up, prepares you for being an adult."
"God, I wish my mom were here." Amy was taken aback by her own words. She turned sideways to look at her dad, to see his reaction to that. He had closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. Great, she'd hurt him too. There was no end to her power to inflict pain on those she loved. "I mean, it would be good to talk to her. Not that I can't talk to you. It's just that. . ."
"No, babe, you don't have to explain," Jack assured her quickly, his voice husky. "It's perfectly natural for you to feel that way, especially at this time in your life. In case you haven't noticed, Dougie and I are sort of clueless about how to parent a teenage girl. We're just feeling our way through this, and I know we're not enough sometimes. And even Joey; she's great, but she's not your mom. I completely understand how you feel." He paused, and his next words came out in a choked tone that made Amy's tears start up again. "I wish your mom were here, too. You have no idea how much I wish that."
Amy sat up and put her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad."
"I just feel bad for you, Amy. That's all. I just know how close you and your mom would have been, and it kills me to see you going through all this crap that she could've helped you with. She was great with stuff like this. I'm not. I just want to go beat up the guys who are causing you all this pain."
Amy smiled through her streaming tears. "You don't have to. They're beating up each other."
Jack smiled back at her and affectionately wiped a few tears off her face. "And who better to fight over than the stunning beauty I see before me? Looks like the guys have pretty good taste in women."
"I need a beer," Amy said, her eyes twinkling.
"All right, young lady." Jack shook his head in mock exasperation. "Are you going to be OK now?" he asked as he started for the door.
"Yes, I guess so. Say goodbye to Pacey and Joey and J.D. for me, all right?"
"Will do. Good night, baby."
Amy lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. She didn't feel like sleeping, though. Besides the fact that it was only 10:30, too many conflicting emotions and thoughts were running through her head. She considered calling Jessie to fill her in on what had happened tonight, but the thought of reliving the whole ugly mess was very unappealing at the moment. So she just lay there and listened to the muffled voices downstairs and thought about Ben and Andrew. And reached a conclusion.
Seemingly without thinking, she suddenly had the phone in her hand and was dialing Ben's number. He answered on the second ring.
"Hi, it's me," she said.
"Amy. Are you OK? I'm sorry about tonight, I didn't mean for any of that to happen."
"I know you didn't. Look Ben, I just called to tell you that I can't do this."
"What? Don't say that, Amy! I knew you were going to react this way. Damn him!"
"No, it's my fault. It's my problem. Don't blame him. I want you guys to get back to normal. And I want things between him and me to get back to normal. And there's no way that's going to happen if we go through with it. I'm sorry, Ben. I really am. I'll talk to you later, OK?"
"Amy, don't . . ."
She hung up and let out the breath she had been holding, fighting back another bout of tears that wanted to escape. Well, that was done. And as soon as she could look Andrew in the face again without wanting to slap him, they could work things out and forgive and forget. At least it hadn't gone too far to be salvaged. She couldn't imagine life without Andy. She lay back in bed, exhausted, her head, her ankle, and her heart throbbing. Without meaning to, she slipped off to sleep. . .
And awoke to a sharp tapping sound coming from her window. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was after midnight. She swung herself off the bed and limped over to open the window.
"Hi," Ben said from his perch on the roof ledge.
"What are you doing here?" she asked in a whisper.
"Can I come in before I get myself killed, please?"
"You've got to stop dropping by like this," Amy said, stepping aside to let him through. His foot caught on the window ledge as he was making his way inside, and he fell with a crash to the floor. Amy winced. "Be quiet!" she snapped. "My dads will kill you and me both if they hear you in my bedroom at this time of night!"
He smirked at her, disentangling his leg from the window and standing up. "I'll try to land more gracefully next time, Lindley," he said. "Now sit down. We have to talk." He put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her onto the foot of her bed.
"I said what I had to say to you, Ben."
"Yeah, well I didn't get a chance to respond before you hung up on me. I think you're making a big mistake by playing into his hands, you know. Do you want to encourage his idea that you belong to him? You're the rope in his demented little game of tug-of-war, Amy, and you deserve so much more than that! You're selling yourself short if you choose to coddle him now and miss out on something that could be so special between us." Ben took her hand as he said this last, gazing into her eyes. She almost melted under his stare, but then a thought occurred to her, and she snatched her hand out of his.
"Don't forget that you're holding one end of that rope. I heard you tell him that you won. Do you think I like being talked about that way?"
"You're completely right. I shouldn't have said that. It was a low blow, but it was directed at him, not at you. I'd never say anything to hurt you."
Amy sighed. "You don't understand how Andy and I work, Ben."
"I think I have a pretty good idea. I know how close you are. And I doubt that he would let this ruin your friendship. He's going to be hurt, he's going to hate me, and that's all right. Because at the end of the day, it's you he cares about, and he'll do anything to save your friendship. You can have both of us, Amy. You don't have to choose. I would never make you." She noticed that he put a bit of emphasis on the "I."
Just then the door swung open, Amy screamed, and Ben jumped, dropping her hand as if it had burned him. It was Doug, looking formidable even in boxers and an undershirt. His blue eyes flashed angrily. "What the hell are you doing in my daughter's room at this time of night?" he demanded, taking a step toward Ben, who took a bigger step away.
"Sheriff, I, uh, we were just talking, sir. I'm sorry. I'll go now."
"Damn right you will. Amy, did you let this guy in?"
Just lately, Amy couldn't tolerate Doug's tendencies to flaunt his authority. She reacted with smart responses and angry quips in much the same way Pacey had always dealt with his brother. Now, over her initial scare, she rolled her eyes. "Dougie, don't get all upset over nothing. We're talking. Do you see any clothes lying on the floor? Are we not fully dressed? What's your problem?"
"Ben, get out. Use the front door. Next time I catch you in my daughter's bedroom, you'd better hope I'm not wearing my weapon."
Ben glanced toward Amy. "We'll talk tomorrow. Please think about what I said." Then he quickly stepped past Doug, muttering another apology, and went out into the dark hallway.
"Why do you have to be such an ass?!" Amy found herself yelling at Doug.
"Watch it, Amy. I've just about had it with your smart mouth."
"And I've just about had it with you! At least Dad tries to understand my life; you just want me to be a little kid forever. You can't treat me like that anymore! I'm fifteen years old, and I'm tired of being treated like I'm John Dawson's age!"
"Hey, hey, what's up?" Jack asked, coming up behind Doug. His hair was rumpled, and his sleepy eyes registered concern as he looked back and forth between his daughter and Doug. "What's all the yelling about?"
Doug ignored him. "I want you to stay away from that boy," he said to Amy, almost challenging her. "He's not the kind of kid you should be hanging around with. Ever since you two became so chummy, your whole attitude has changed, and we're both sick of it."
Amy laughed humorlessly. "You'd like to be able to pick my friends for me, wouldn't you? Well guess what, Dougie; not only do you not have the authority to do that, you're not even my father! How dare you try to run my life?"
"HEY! Amy, enough!" Jack shouted, shock apparent in his voice and his wide eyes. "Guys, what happened here?"
Doug looked at Amy for another few moments, their eyes locked in a silent battle of wills, and then he pushed past Jack and went down the hall to their bedroom, slamming the door so hard that the windows rattled in their frames.
"Amy, are you all right?" Jack asked from the hallway outside her room.
"I'm fine, please go away," she responded, her voice muffled by the pillow.
"Can I come in?" he asked. "Just for a minute."
He took her silence as permission and opened the door, coming over to sit next to her on the bed. He rubbed her back for a few moments before speaking. "Want to tell me what happened?" he asked finally.
"I've ruined everything," she said. "Andrew hates me, Ben thinks he's 'won' me, and I hate this whole situation. I want it to go back to the way it was, Dad. Why does it have to be so hard?"
"Well, because you're a teenager, and that makes things at least ten times as hard as they should be. It toughens you up, prepares you for being an adult."
"God, I wish my mom were here." Amy was taken aback by her own words. She turned sideways to look at her dad, to see his reaction to that. He had closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. Great, she'd hurt him too. There was no end to her power to inflict pain on those she loved. "I mean, it would be good to talk to her. Not that I can't talk to you. It's just that. . ."
"No, babe, you don't have to explain," Jack assured her quickly, his voice husky. "It's perfectly natural for you to feel that way, especially at this time in your life. In case you haven't noticed, Dougie and I are sort of clueless about how to parent a teenage girl. We're just feeling our way through this, and I know we're not enough sometimes. And even Joey; she's great, but she's not your mom. I completely understand how you feel." He paused, and his next words came out in a choked tone that made Amy's tears start up again. "I wish your mom were here, too. You have no idea how much I wish that."
Amy sat up and put her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad."
"I just feel bad for you, Amy. That's all. I just know how close you and your mom would have been, and it kills me to see you going through all this crap that she could've helped you with. She was great with stuff like this. I'm not. I just want to go beat up the guys who are causing you all this pain."
Amy smiled through her streaming tears. "You don't have to. They're beating up each other."
Jack smiled back at her and affectionately wiped a few tears off her face. "And who better to fight over than the stunning beauty I see before me? Looks like the guys have pretty good taste in women."
"I need a beer," Amy said, her eyes twinkling.
"All right, young lady." Jack shook his head in mock exasperation. "Are you going to be OK now?" he asked as he started for the door.
"Yes, I guess so. Say goodbye to Pacey and Joey and J.D. for me, all right?"
"Will do. Good night, baby."
Amy lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. She didn't feel like sleeping, though. Besides the fact that it was only 10:30, too many conflicting emotions and thoughts were running through her head. She considered calling Jessie to fill her in on what had happened tonight, but the thought of reliving the whole ugly mess was very unappealing at the moment. So she just lay there and listened to the muffled voices downstairs and thought about Ben and Andrew. And reached a conclusion.
Seemingly without thinking, she suddenly had the phone in her hand and was dialing Ben's number. He answered on the second ring.
"Hi, it's me," she said.
"Amy. Are you OK? I'm sorry about tonight, I didn't mean for any of that to happen."
"I know you didn't. Look Ben, I just called to tell you that I can't do this."
"What? Don't say that, Amy! I knew you were going to react this way. Damn him!"
"No, it's my fault. It's my problem. Don't blame him. I want you guys to get back to normal. And I want things between him and me to get back to normal. And there's no way that's going to happen if we go through with it. I'm sorry, Ben. I really am. I'll talk to you later, OK?"
"Amy, don't . . ."
She hung up and let out the breath she had been holding, fighting back another bout of tears that wanted to escape. Well, that was done. And as soon as she could look Andrew in the face again without wanting to slap him, they could work things out and forgive and forget. At least it hadn't gone too far to be salvaged. She couldn't imagine life without Andy. She lay back in bed, exhausted, her head, her ankle, and her heart throbbing. Without meaning to, she slipped off to sleep. . .
And awoke to a sharp tapping sound coming from her window. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was after midnight. She swung herself off the bed and limped over to open the window.
"Hi," Ben said from his perch on the roof ledge.
"What are you doing here?" she asked in a whisper.
"Can I come in before I get myself killed, please?"
"You've got to stop dropping by like this," Amy said, stepping aside to let him through. His foot caught on the window ledge as he was making his way inside, and he fell with a crash to the floor. Amy winced. "Be quiet!" she snapped. "My dads will kill you and me both if they hear you in my bedroom at this time of night!"
He smirked at her, disentangling his leg from the window and standing up. "I'll try to land more gracefully next time, Lindley," he said. "Now sit down. We have to talk." He put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her onto the foot of her bed.
"I said what I had to say to you, Ben."
"Yeah, well I didn't get a chance to respond before you hung up on me. I think you're making a big mistake by playing into his hands, you know. Do you want to encourage his idea that you belong to him? You're the rope in his demented little game of tug-of-war, Amy, and you deserve so much more than that! You're selling yourself short if you choose to coddle him now and miss out on something that could be so special between us." Ben took her hand as he said this last, gazing into her eyes. She almost melted under his stare, but then a thought occurred to her, and she snatched her hand out of his.
"Don't forget that you're holding one end of that rope. I heard you tell him that you won. Do you think I like being talked about that way?"
"You're completely right. I shouldn't have said that. It was a low blow, but it was directed at him, not at you. I'd never say anything to hurt you."
Amy sighed. "You don't understand how Andy and I work, Ben."
"I think I have a pretty good idea. I know how close you are. And I doubt that he would let this ruin your friendship. He's going to be hurt, he's going to hate me, and that's all right. Because at the end of the day, it's you he cares about, and he'll do anything to save your friendship. You can have both of us, Amy. You don't have to choose. I would never make you." She noticed that he put a bit of emphasis on the "I."
Just then the door swung open, Amy screamed, and Ben jumped, dropping her hand as if it had burned him. It was Doug, looking formidable even in boxers and an undershirt. His blue eyes flashed angrily. "What the hell are you doing in my daughter's room at this time of night?" he demanded, taking a step toward Ben, who took a bigger step away.
"Sheriff, I, uh, we were just talking, sir. I'm sorry. I'll go now."
"Damn right you will. Amy, did you let this guy in?"
Just lately, Amy couldn't tolerate Doug's tendencies to flaunt his authority. She reacted with smart responses and angry quips in much the same way Pacey had always dealt with his brother. Now, over her initial scare, she rolled her eyes. "Dougie, don't get all upset over nothing. We're talking. Do you see any clothes lying on the floor? Are we not fully dressed? What's your problem?"
"Ben, get out. Use the front door. Next time I catch you in my daughter's bedroom, you'd better hope I'm not wearing my weapon."
Ben glanced toward Amy. "We'll talk tomorrow. Please think about what I said." Then he quickly stepped past Doug, muttering another apology, and went out into the dark hallway.
"Why do you have to be such an ass?!" Amy found herself yelling at Doug.
"Watch it, Amy. I've just about had it with your smart mouth."
"And I've just about had it with you! At least Dad tries to understand my life; you just want me to be a little kid forever. You can't treat me like that anymore! I'm fifteen years old, and I'm tired of being treated like I'm John Dawson's age!"
"Hey, hey, what's up?" Jack asked, coming up behind Doug. His hair was rumpled, and his sleepy eyes registered concern as he looked back and forth between his daughter and Doug. "What's all the yelling about?"
Doug ignored him. "I want you to stay away from that boy," he said to Amy, almost challenging her. "He's not the kind of kid you should be hanging around with. Ever since you two became so chummy, your whole attitude has changed, and we're both sick of it."
Amy laughed humorlessly. "You'd like to be able to pick my friends for me, wouldn't you? Well guess what, Dougie; not only do you not have the authority to do that, you're not even my father! How dare you try to run my life?"
"HEY! Amy, enough!" Jack shouted, shock apparent in his voice and his wide eyes. "Guys, what happened here?"
Doug looked at Amy for another few moments, their eyes locked in a silent battle of wills, and then he pushed past Jack and went down the hall to their bedroom, slamming the door so hard that the windows rattled in their frames.