"So what's going on with you and Writer Boy now?" Lanie asks, curling her feet under her as she reaches for her wine glass on Castle's coffee table. The group picked up a few pizzas on the way home from the airport, and now Kate and Lanie are settled against the couch while the boys are off playing a video game in Castle's entertainment room, off from his office.
Kate cranes her neck to make sure the guys are safely out of earshot. "We're just kind of taking it slow. One step at a time."
Lanie raises a brow. "So you're not back together?"
Kate hesitates. "Officially? No. We've been spending a lot of time together and talking. The camaraderie we used to have is...getting there," she hedges.
"And he's not seeing anyone else?"
Kate flinches. "Lanie," she says sharply.
"What?" Lanie sets her wine glass down. "I don't think it's an unfair question. The two of you were separated for nearly two years."
"Yeah, but - "
"But what?" Lanie interrupts. "Kate, I don't think Castle could ever be with someone the way he was with you, and the way you broke his heart...I doubt he would really be inclined to even look someone else's way, but I don't think a little clarity could hurt, either."
Kate shakes her head. "I appreciate the advice, but I'm not going to insult him by asking him if he's dating other people."
Lanie shrugs. "All right, then I will."
Kate laughs in disbelief. "What?"
"Look, there's nothing wrong with taking it slow - you guys have to find your ground again. I just want you to be careful," her friend says. "I'll be discreet."
Kate rolls her eyes. "Famous last words."
Lanie shoots her a look. "Would you just trust me?"
"Fine. But seriously, I want nothing to do with this. I trust Castle."
The medical examiner winks. "Girl, I got you."
That's exactly what Kate is afraid of. "Just - " But the boys step into the room then, effectively ending Kate's warning, Espo looking sullen while Ryan grins, fist-bumping Castle behind Javier's back.
"Baby, did you lose?" Lanie asks, eyes flitting between them.
He scoffs in disbelief. "No."
"He lost so bad," Castle says a little too gleefully, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "It's all right, 'Sito. We can't all be good the millionth time we've played Smash Brothers."
Esposito glowers at him, and oh she is definitely inserting herself in this one.
"Esposito, did Castle ever tell you about my first time playing Smash and how I beat the pants off him?" Beckett asks innocently. "Not once, not twice, but three times."
"Beckett," Castle whines. "That was supposed to be a secret."
Kate cocks her head, barely suppressing a laugh. "You wanna keep a secret from our friends? I'm surprised at you, Castle." He narrows his eyes at her for that one.
Esposito smirks. "Bro, you got beat by a girl?"
"Watch it, Espo," Beckett warns, glaring at him.
"Javier Esposito, I know I did not just hear you say that," Lanie adds.
Esposito winces. "Girl, you know I was just playin'."
Ryan coughs. "Way to put your foot in your mouth.
While their friends bicker, Beckett snags Castle's gaze, nodding her head toward the kitchen. She gets up from her spot on the floor, grabbing her glass and her empty plate before he trails after her to the other room.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine," she reassures him, placing her dishes in the sink. "Just wanted to let you know that I'm going to head out."
"Oh." He frowns. "You sure? It's still a little early."
She shrugs, flicking her wrist to check the time on her father's watch. "Yeah, but they've had a long trip and they're still on New York time, so I'm sure they're probably ready to settle in for the night."
He hesitates, doesn't seem satisfied at that, and she swears he looks a little...disappointed? "You can stay here, you know. The couch will be empty and I don't mind - "
Oh yeah, he's definitely disappointed.
"Castle." She stops him, cocking her head. "What's this about?"
He sighs. "I don't know. Just — the separation sometimes. It gets to me. Even after…" he waves his hand, "all this time."
Oh, yes. She knows exactly what he's talking about. "I feel like I'm hyper aware of it now being around Lanie and Esposito," she confesses.
"What if we're never that happy again?" he asks miserably and goddamn it if it doesn't sock her right in the gut. The guilt finds her once more, sinking into her bones at the pit of his despair. God, she absolutely hates this.
Before she can overthink it, she steps into him, wrapping her arms around his middle as she lays her head on his shoulder. Her body sinks into his, safely cocooned, already exponentially relieved at his touch. They both need this.
His broad palms settle at the curve of her spine as he sighs deeply, his cheek falling to rest atop her head.
"That wasn't meant to be a guilt trip you know," he murmurs.
She presses a swift kiss into his neck. "I know."
His arms tighten around her. "I meant what I said about staying."
"I don't have anything here, though. Maybe tomorrow night, if you don't change your mind."
"I'm not going to change my mind, Kate. It's just the couch," he says softly, one of his hands lifting to comb gently through the ends of her hair, soothing her. She just wants to stay here just like this for the rest of the night, bodies still and safe while the world sleeps.
It isn't just the couch, Kate knows. She has no doubt she won't be sleeping in his bedroom if she stays over tomorrow night, but she's not naive enough to think that her staying over in his home isn't going to affect them — whether positively or negatively, she isn't sure.
But it's not "just the couch." And he knows it, too.
She reluctantly slides out of his grasp, immediately missing the warmth of his embrace, the play of his fingers in her hair. The ache is strong tonight. She sees it in his eyes, too, has to duck her head to avoid his hollow gaze. "I'm just going to say goodbye to them quick."
"You're okay to drive - with the wine you had?"
Her head snaps up. "Castle," she chides, lifting an eyebrow. "Are you serious right now?"
"Sorry," he winces. "You're an adult. I - sorry."
She almost rolls her eyes, but she knows he's hurting right now, that their friends' engagement is affecting them more than maybe they thought it would. He's a little needy. They both are.
And she gets it. As ecstatic as she is that their friends are finally happy and completely committed to each other, the reminder of what she and Castle have been struggling to hold onto stings.
Giving them both a semblance of something to cling to, she leans into him, sweeping a kiss across his cheek. When she steps back, his eyes shine brighter than she's seen all day.
Oh, Castle. Her hand lifts to tousle a little in the hairs at the nape of his neck, giving into the vulnerable air between them.
"I'll call you in the morning so we can figure out what we're doing," she promises.
He smiles, and it lights his boyish face up even more. "Perfect."
Lanie and Kate haven't quite managed to convince Ryan and Esposito to hit the beach the next day, but they settle on exploring the Santa Monica Pier and the surrounding area, a nearby tourist spot that's just a few miles away from Castle's place.
Kate hasn't made it to the pier yet herself since she moved to the city, but it's almost always crawling with people, and she just hasn't felt up to dealing with the crowds. She's not really thrilled about the idea today, either, but it's important to her friends.
She's pretty sure Castle loves it there, too.
"We'll go this once with them and then we never have to go again if you don't want to," Castle promises her over the phone that morning. The foregone conclusion of his "we never have to go again if you don't want to" sends a grin cracking over her lips, almost makes her forget about the fact that she doesn't even really want to go to begin with.
When Kate arrives at Castle's condo that morning with coffee, bagels and cream cheese for everyone, she's nearly taken aback by the power of his smile when he greets her.
Her arms laden with breakfast goodies, he ditches the hug in favor of a kiss at her cheek that leaves her toes curling inside her tennis shoes. She doesn't know when the two of them will rekindle things sexually, but she's clearly not prepared if a kiss on the cheek is doing things to her insides.
"Bagels?" he asks with the waggle of an eyebrow. "Did you get - "
"Your favorite?" She hands off one of the bags to him as she follows him through the doorway. He peers inside the bag, groaning at the sight.
"You have no idea how much I needed this this morning," he says, his eyes darting to the space around them as she follows him into the kitchen. They're alone, but she thinks she can make out the sounds of Ryan talking to someone, as well as the din of a hair dryer.
"You okay, Castle?" she asks in amusement, easing the tray of coffees onto the counter.
He pinches the bridge of his nose. "My room...is right next to Lanie and Esposito's," he stage whispers.
Kate's mouth drops. "You mean…"
"Oh, yes," he nods vigorously.
Kate winces. "I would've thought that after a day of traveling - "
"I know! Me too."
"How much sleep did you get last night?" The dark circles under his eyes do look a little more prominent today.
"Not much," he admits. "Might have to pick up some ear plugs while we're out today."
Kate presses her lips together, tamping down a laugh. "Where is Ryan sleeping?"
"In the guest room down here. But I can't exactly ask him to switch with them, can I?"
"No," Kate agrees slowly. "Can you switch with Ryan?"
"And tell him what? Even if I made up a good excuse, he'd see right through it after just one night," Castle points out, reaching for the coffee tray. Kate points to the one on the far left - a sugary concoction that she's regretting picking out for him now that she knows about his sleepless night.
"Do you want mine? Yours is pretty sweet. I don't want you to crash in an hour."
He shakes his head. "This is fine. Thanks, though."
She bites her lip, still thinking. "You could sleep on the couch?"
"Not if you're staying over. Did you bring your stuff?"
She nods. "It's in the car. But your sleep is more important than - "
He shakes his head. "No, Kate."
Well, he could….but no, she probably shouldn't suggest it.
"You have an idea," he observes, eyes running the length of her face.
"I mean, yes, but I don't know how you're going to feel about it."
He cocks his head. "Never going to find out if you don't say it, Beckett."
She rolls her eyes, retrieving a bagel from the bag along with a small container of cream cheese. Castle opens a nearby drawer and hands her a knife.
"I was going to say that you can sleep on the couch with me. It folds out, right?"
He nods. "Yeah, but…"
She shrugs, licking a smear of excess cream cheese from her thumb. "I mean, the couch is in the living room. Nothing's going to happen, and I feel like we've made enough progress that it wouldn't be weird, right?"
He rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, that's true. And you're fine with that?"
"Of course." But even as she says it, she swears her voice goes up another octave. Of course she's fine with it - she's more than fine with it - but she isn't sure she's going to want to keep her hands to herself once they start sharing a bed again.
"All right, then. Done." He smiles. "You're a genius, Beckett."
Ha, she thinks to herself, that remains to be seen.