1Chapter 10: Jealousy
"Good night Rin." Kohaku and Sango led her up to the second landing and down a short hallway. At the last door to the right they paused and Sango fished a key out from the pocket of her black skirt. The brother and sister duo had left Rin inside the guest room to rest, not that she would be able to sleep fitfully, but she understood their kind intentions. For over an hour, Rin lay on her bed waiting for sleep to claim her but it was taking it's time and Rin decided to make the best use of her time and sort out her thoughts. Maybe she could sleep better without the emotional turmoil swirling inside her. Rin began by replaying the events that occurred tonight...
"Let's see... I've admitted to falling in love with a man that will probably never return my affections, then I allowed myself to cry profusely after seeing him with another woman, and I was taught a lesson on life by a bunch of street thugs. My life is screwed up." Declared Rin, as she stared up at the ceiling, but a voice in head thought otherwise. 'You should be grateful that you escaped with your life and you know that you only have Kohaku to thank for that.'
Sighing, Rin rolled over onto her side and continued several failed attempts at sleep before she succumbed and finally gave up. 'I don't think I'll catch much sleep tonight anyways so I might as well continue to dissect my life.' Thinking back, Rin realized that she had never had much fortune in the love department. Her first crush from junior high was... Rin shuffled through her memories but everything was blank. 'Hmm... I know I remember my first crush but it's a little blurry, that's all.' Rin covered her mouth as a yawn emerged and slowly Rin slipped into a slumber.
A bell chimed in the distance and clusters of junior high students rushed into the main building, jostling each other to squeeze through the door. It was the first day of class and no one could afford being late or worse, risk being penalized for tardiness.
A thirteen year old Rin dashed through the halls with thundering speed and skidded to a halt before her classroom door.
"This is it Rin, you can do it..." On her first year of junior high Rin had nurtured a growing crush on one of the school reps, Kohaku, but the only time she actually spent with him was minimal since she would only greet him when they passed each other in the hall and even those moments were scarce. Rin hadn't been in any of Kohaku's classes since he was in a honour student in accelerated courses, but Rin had worked hard and diligently to gain an acceptance into the honour student program this year in high hopes of spending more time with him. Rin, pushed the classroom door open gingerly, her heart pulsating wildly in her chest.
"Ah... miss Nakamoto is it? You're just in time for introductions."
"Yes sensei."
"Your seat will be," the teacher scanned the room, "there, next to... Kohaku. Kohaku would you please raise your hand?" A blue eyed youth extended his hand high into the air, but Rin would have known even if he hadn't raised his hand.
"Now... continuing on with the next task at hand. Unfortunately, we will have to elect a new class representative in Kohaku's place since he'll be moving away." The class erupted with whispers and hushed discussions in reaction to the teacher's statement. 'Kohaku's moving?!' Screamed Rin silently.
"Settle down..." the teacher waited for silence before he began to speak again, "now first we'll select some reasonable candidates..." The rest of what her teacher said was lost to her as one thought vibrated vehemently in her mind. 'Kohaku's leaving, and I finally got the chance to really know him but it's too late because he'll be gone.'
As soon as home room drew to a close, Rin darted after Kohaku into the hall, wanting to talk to him.
"Kohaku!" Kohaku turned around mid-step and peered at her curiously.
"Rin... what's the matter."
"Are you... are you..." Rin paused wheezing, to catch her breath, "are you really moving?"
Kohaku placed a hand behind his neck and nodded slowly, confirming her worst fears. "Yes, yes I'm moving. My dad got relocated to another branch after his promotion and my family has no choice but to move, so... yeah."
"Then why did you come today."
"Well... I basically came to say my farewells and finish completing my transitional paperwork which I'll be bringing to my new school." Rin's heart split painfully in half upon hearing his words.
"Oh..." Rin struggled desperately, trying to withhold the stream of tears that was threatening to break free of her control. She couldn't cry in front of Kohaku.
"Don't be sad Rin. I'm just moving away but I'm sure fate will let us meet again some time." Rin nodded and stared at the floor using her bangs to cover her eyes from view since the tears she worked so hard to suppress could not be held back any longer. It was the very first time Rin had cried over love and the feeling was indescribably painful as she felt the salty wetness of tears rolling down her cheeks.
Rin awoke with a jolt and felt disoriented as she recognized that her surroundings were different but then her memory kick in.
"Blue eyes...blue eyes..." Rin repeated constantly, recalling her dream. 'Now I remember, my first crush was blue eyed and his name was... Kohaku.'
"Breakfast!" Hollered Sango from the kitchen. Rin smelt the intoxicating aroma of freshly brewed coffee as well and drifted down to the kitchen.
"Breakfast is served." Announced Sango brightly, placing a full plate of eggs and bacon in front of Rin. "By the way, have you seen Kohaku this morning?"
"No... why?"
"That sleepy head must still be sleeping. Would you mind calling him for me?"
"No, not at all." Rin replied, heading in the direction of the staircase. Suddenly a thought crossed her mind and she needed to confirm something with Kohaku. 'What if Kohaku isn't my junior high crush, but what if he is? We'll still remain friends, but if he is my crush from junior high then is fate offering me another chance?'
Rin paused by Kohaku's closed bedroom door. 'Should I knock or shout or do both.' Rin groaned in despair, realizing that her new found suspicions confused her and possibly made her increasingly more self conscious around Kohaku.
"Kohaku? Are you awake?" Rin knocked on the door tentatively, but firm enough that Kohaku would be sure to hear the sound inside the room. Debating her next move Rin decided that it would be alright to try opening the door though it would probably be locked, but surprisingly the knob turned easily in Rin's hand and the door itself eased open without as much as a creak from it's hinges. 'I guess Sango respects Kohaku's privacy so locks aren't necessary. I guess we have more in common than I thought.' Rin and her parents had an agreement as well but she trusted them to give her a certain amount of privacy so that she didn't feel suffocated. Even now, her room at her parents' house was free of locking mechanisms because she felt that she would never do something incriminating enough in her room that her parents would not approve off.
Rin called Kohaku's name again but there wasn't any response so she ventured into the room cautiously at first, but something caught her attention. By Kohaku's bedside there were various framed photographs and many were family shots from his childhood, each one containing a precious memory, but the one photograph that caught her attention was extremely nostalgic. Rin bent down and examined it more carefully, immediately identifying the source of nostalgia. It was a freshman graduation photo of Kohaku at their junior high along with teachers and all the students from their grade. Kohaku stood in the middle of the photograph with a triumphant smile on his face, exactly as Rin had remembered him. 'I remember now, Kohaku was awarded an academic award that year for being at the top of all his classes but I was too shy to congratulate him.'
Suddenly the duvet rustled on the bed and Rin spun around with alarm. Kohaku sat up groggily,
blinking several times before he was alert enough to register the situation.
"Sorry, did I frighten you?"
"Er... no, not exactly." 'I should be apologizing for invading your room without permission.'
"Oh... what were you looking at?"
"Your graduation photo?'
"Right... Kanagawa Junior High was one of my favourite schools and it was also where I met some of my best friends too, but enough about me. What about you?"
"I went to Kanagawa Junior as well."
"Really?" A look of realization dawned on his face as if he had experienced an epiphany of colossal proportions. "Then could you possibly be... wait, you are. You're Rin Nakamoto from freshman class B."
Rin nodded in confirmation. "That's me, or more accurately that was me."
"I thought that there was some resemblance after I met you at the university and I was curious enough to check my junior high photos, but I convinced myself if was just a coincidence that I met a someone who looked similar and shared your name."
"You mean, you knew all this time and you never asked?"
"Well, I was considering it but then the break arrived and my thesis needed to be completed for the deadline so I became a bit distracted along the way."
"Don't remind me about my thesis. My professor pushed the deadline forward to a date before the break unexpectedly, and I was frantic but I managed to cram everything in while arranging my wedding on the side."
"You... got married?" A flash of disappointment flitted across Kohaku's facial features as he noticed Rin's wedding ring for the first time, but it was swiftly replaced by a small smile. "So... I think we ought to have breakfast before it gets too cold, don't you?" Asked Kohaku, determined to avoid the awkwardness by changing the topic.
"Y-yeah." Agreed Rin. 'Except what you probably wouldn't expect, is that it's completely fake. All of it is a deception.' Thought Rin bitterly and immediately she felt the heavy impact of guilt weighing down on her heart. She hadn't relished the idea of deceiving her parents, Sesshomaru's parents and even her best friends but now she had to add another name to the list: Kohaku.
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Rin returned home before lunch, thinking that she would be able to sneak through the front door without attracting attention. Unfortunately, before she could locate her keys the door swung wide open revealing a very surprised butler.
"Miss Rin, when did you leave this morning."
"Um... I er... kind of couldn't sleep so I went for a walk at three in the morning."
"Are you certain, because I was almost positive you never returned last night." 'Darn! I was praying he wouldn't have noticed being preoccupied with all the household chores and everything.'
"Actually, I slept over at a friend's house."
"Well, it isn't my place to prod at your personal life, but Master Sesshomaru was worried when you never returned last night. Master Sesshomaru is in his study attending to some business matters, but lunch will be served in the dining room soon. You should have enough time for a brief shower and a change of clothes," suggested the butler as he surveyed her slightly tattered appearance. "Now, if there isn't anything else I should return to supervising the household staff."
"Actually..."
"Yes, Miss Rin."
"I was wondering if you could tell me your name? Also, could you call me by my name but without the prefix?' The butler looked taken aback but he recovered quickly and nodded.
"Certainly, Miss Rin. My name is Matsushita. However, it is against protocol and extremely impudent for a servant to address the mistress of the household by first name alone, but you are welcome to address me by my name."
"Thank you Matsushita, you can go now."
Rin discarded her shoes in the foyer and padded upstairs on bare foot until she reached the master bedroom. Surprisingly, the door was left ajar but when Rin entered there was no sign of anyone, so she extracted some clothes from the closet and walked straight into the bathroom and into an unsuspecting Sesshomaru who was in the process of showering. Rin stared for several seconds, her mind paralysed by shock, but Sesshomaru turned around, as if he sensed the presence of another person in the room. Rin eyes moved from his face downwards, from the sculpted chest and biceps to his... Immediately Rin blushed profusely before she averted her gaze, and she would have even screamed if Sesshomaru hadn't covered her mouth with his hand.
"Don't scream, but you might want to close your eyes for a moment while I dress myself, unless you want to look." Rin did as she was told and stood rooted to the spot obediently with her eyes shut tightly until Sesshomaru told her otherwise. "You can open your eyes now."
"It wouldn't have been disastrous if I'd screamed."
"No, but what kind of wife screams at the sight of her husband, even if he is nude. It would seem strange to everyone." Rin's blush had diminished until she noticed Sesshomaru hadn't buttoned his shirt, providing an extensive view of his chest.
"Aren't you going to button your shirt?"
"I will, but we need to talk." Something about Sesshomaru's tone indicated that there was no room for objection. Draping a towel over his shoulders he exited the bathroom calmly as if nothing had happened.
"What exactly do we need to talk about?"
"For starters, I'd like to have an understanding of where you were, the entire night."
"I slept over at a friend's."
"I see... and over the course of the night did it ever cross your mind to notify someone in the household."
"No... but there were many things that happened to me last night so I don't find it surprising that I would neglect to give you a call."
"Really. Exactly what kind of ordeals have you been through last night?" Rin paused to think for a moment. 'Hm... I was viciously attacked by a group of people belonging to an underground organization after witnessing your little rendezvous with some woman I don't know. I'd like to tell you everything, but I doubt you'd believe a word of it anyway.'
"It's nothing, you don't need to worry about anything. From now on, you don't need to worry about me, nor do you have to make an effort to be considerate of me either." Rin picked up her clothes and headed for the bathroom.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"To take a long shower. I'm tired, and I'd appreciate it if you left me alone now or more preferably, forever. I'm merely following the conditions on the contract, you'll live your life and I'll live mine."
At that exact moment, Sesshomaru felt an strange stab of disappointment wretched into the depths of his heart driving a stake through it. Although he had no clue as to what the pain meant he felt it but was just as determined to remain ignorant and clueless if it meant he could continue to deny that he cared even slightly for Rin.
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"Rin?" Kohaku sipped his orange juice quietly next to Rin in one of the gazebos on campus. "What's wrong?" Rin stared at the trees with a distant look in her eyes and it bothered Kohaku slightly more than it should have.
"H-huh?" Rin rotated her head slowly and relatively stiffly to face Kohaku but it only unnerved him more when he noticed Rin's strained smile.
"You've been strange lately and it seems I'm not the only disillusioned one on campus, everyone that knows you well enough has figured that something strange has happened to you. In fact the rumours have been circulating."
"Rumours? What kind?"
"Mostly farfetched gossip but you have no idea how gullible bored university students can get."
"Really? Then, tell me some for the most popular rumours about me."
"You want to hear gossip about yourself?" Echoed Kohaku slightly bewildered. "Okay... well, there is one particular rumour that has been passed around quite vigorously. People have been suspecting that you accidentally got pregnant over the winter break which supposedly led to a hasty marriage but now your husband is filing for divorce because his ex-girlfriend returned or something." Kohaku closed his eyes tightly anticipating Rin to explode with fury except it never happened. Gingerly, Kohaku eased one eye open then the other, still half expecting a sudden outburst from Rin. Instead, Rin laughed.
"Really? I wonder who started that one?" 'How ironic, the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree in this case... It's like I'm being forced to crawl over broken glass to pick up the equally shattered pieces of my life and to make matters worse I'm wasting my time mourning over my life instead of changing it. This isn't like me at all...'
"I personally think that rumour was pretty unimaginative."
"What led you to that conclusion?"
"The contents of that rumour are featured in the popular drama which is currently being aired on television, but before you ask," Kohaku held up his hands like he was trying to fend off a barrage of accusations, "in my defence, I'm definitely not one of those pathetic guys that mopes around watching emotional dramas over the holidays to kill time. My sister watches it okay?"
"Sure, I never accused you of being the type of..." Rin searched for the correct description that wouldn't seem overly depreciating, "ambitionless human being."
"Okay, but enough about rumours. I just have to make something clear today."
"Sure, go ahead." Kohaku's expression morphed from comical to serious.
"You know... if you're unhappy there's no need to fake it and hold up a strong image in front of everyone. You have friends to share your sorrows with, and I'm not referring to a bottle of wine either."
"I know... it's just that," Rin stopped to burry her head in her arms, "it's complicated but I'm under circumstances where I can't open my heart and discuss my life problems with someone." Kohaku sensed that Rin wasn't in the mood for such a personal conversation but he was feeling the awkwardness seeping into his being through his very pores.
"Actually, I don't think it's a good time to talk about that stuff or maybe I'm not the one that you want to share it with but why don't we talk about something else."
"Like what?"
"Do you have a partner for the graduation ball?"
"Not really?" Originally the graduation party was an event that Rin would have looked forward to back in September when she started her final year of university, but now... things had changed. She had fantasized about attending a ball with her prince but where was her prince? Nonexistent.
"Well... this is just a suggestion so I'll understand if you don't want to take it. Do you want to go with me? If you don't have any plans, that is."
"I don't really..." Rin stopped herself at a crucial moment and thought hard about her decision. ' Would Sesshomaru be okay with me and Kohaku attending the ball together? Wait... we already agreed that we would lead separate lives so why do I need to care what he thinks? I don't.' Then it finally dawned on her, Sesshomaru obviously didn't care and she didn't either, it was a simplistic theory that a child would have understood. "Actually it would be great if I could go with you."
Kohaku smiled, "Then, I'll give me your address and I'll pick you up at seven?"
"Seven sounds fine." Rin watched Kohaku's back as it retreated into the distance and wondered for the last time if she would regret her hasty decision but she felt better than she had in the past few weeks. Rejuvenated, because for once she gathered up enough courage to something she wanted to do, even if it meant incurring Sesshomaru's wrath. After all, Kagome was always telling her, "Time waits for no one, so go live your life!"
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Kohaku sighed and closed his textbook. He'd had more than enough reading but he had also failed to absorb a single word of it and the result was: he'd ingeniously wasted three hours of his time. Kohaku glanced at his digital clock and noticed the time, it was well past nine but he had yet to eat dinner. 'I'm going crazy... I'm can't even figure out when I'm supposed to eat anymore, but then again, so much has happened lately with Rin...' "Forget it." Kohaku knew that he was in some desperate need of food if he didn't want to cease to exist.
"Well you finally decided to show up for some sustenance." Commented Sango as she placed a steaming plate of rice and salmon on the dining room table.
"I'm too young to die!" Replied Kohaku, clutching his throat in a dramatic gesture. Sango raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really?" Kohaku shrugged since he was preoccupied with the task of satisfying his stomach, which was crying out in hunger. "Any progress in studying?"
Swallowing a large mouthful, Kohaku met his sister's gaze sheepishly. "Well, there's been a lot on my mind lately."
"Well I guess I'll let you stuff your face in peace then," Sango pushed her chair back and headed for the living room, "my favourite drama is starting now."
Several minutes later, Kohaku cleared his plate and deposited it in the dishwasher before he plopped onto the sofa next to his sister who was completely in a trance from watching the drama. During the commercial break Sango turned toward him abruptly.
"Is something wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you never watch dramas, what's special about today? Moreover, you seemed more troubled than ever, care to share your emotional heartache with your more experienced older sister."
Kohaku hesitated but relented. "Well... I have a friend of mine who's in love." Sango fixed Kohaku with a quizzical expression.
"Love is a good thing, unless they're trying to move on after a nasty breakup, but I can tell you that drowning one's sorrows in alcohol isn't the best solution to healing a broken heart. They'll never survive the impact of the hangover afterwards, not to mention the mind shattering feeling of having your skull drilled by a jackhammer constantly."
"How do you know so much?"
"I've never experienced heartbreak to such a severe point, but I have many friends that have. Miroku can relate through his personal experiences as well, I'm sure he'd be happy to narrate his past endeavours."
"Oh... but actually, my friend, isn't really heartbroken just yet, but he's just found that he'd been ensnared in a rather complicated situation."
"Which would be..." Sango gestured with her hands, indicating that he'd have to be more specific.
Kohaku inhaled sharply as if he was bracing himself for something dangerous,"Okay, my friend is in love with a married woman."
"Hm...," Sango switched off the television, filling the room with an awkward silence as she folded her arms and assumed a pensive pose, "that's an interesting dilemma isn't it. Basically he's left with the two choices of confessing his love and facing almost definite heartbreak or continuing his life as a secret admirer forever which isn't much better, but there are many other factors that come into play."
"Like what?"
"Well, for example, if the woman isn't content with her marriage or is on the verge of a divorce then confessing wouldn't be such a poor choice of action."
"Oh... " Kohaku sighed and fixed his gaze to the ceiling.
"This friend of yours is actually you isn't it?" Interrogated Sango, "Which means... Rin must be your object of adoration, right?" Sango gave Kohaku a nudge when he refused to respond.
Grudgingly, Kohaku decided it was futile to conceal a truth that was already exposed, but for once he had desperately prayed that Sango wouldn't catch on as quickly. "Yes, but how did you find out?"
"Intuition is a powerful thing little brother, and it's an instant tip off when your stare at her with a look of adoration in your eyes. Besides, why would a normal person be so concerned about their friend's love interest, it's strange no matter how you look at it. However, one thing worries me a great deal and it isn't your little dilemma."
Kohaku raised an eyebrow and stared at Sango with an incredulous expression. "What would that be then?"
"Think about it," Sango paused during her sentence to give Kohaku a knock on his forehead for his ignorance, "how many wives do you see wandering the street at unreasonably late hours?"
"None." Answered Kohaku confidently.
"That's right, which means there's something wrong with Rin's relationship with her husband. Most likely they had a squabble or a serious quarrel or there could have been another cause, a more serious one, like adultery."
Kohaku had known that something was amiss when Rin spaced out so frequently, but adultery almost sounded too severe to be true, especially for Rin, since she of all people deserved to be loved just as much as anyone else. She was diligent, persistent and caring, always putting others before herself... it wasn't fair. Sango's voice interrupted his thoughts but he was glad for the advice from his sister because he knew that it could be trusted.
"If Rin needs to be consoled then I see no harm in giving her some comfort or a shoulder to lean onto, but I'm not so sure about your confession. All I can say is, timing is always crucial for these types of things and it makes a world of difference to say the right thing at the right time."
'The right timing... which means I ought to keep quiet for the time being. Rin has a lot on her plate and I certainly don't need to add more weight to her burden, but when the time comes I will tell her.'
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The night of the graduation ball...
Rin sifted through her closet slowly, examining her choices for attire. Although at first glance it didn't seem as if she had anything suitable for a formal occasion until she remembered the gown that she had worn in Paris. 'It's perfect.' Rin fastened on a pair a silver strapped sandals and a silver necklace that Ayame and Kagome had given to her several years ago as a birthday gift. Although it was a piece of jewellery adolescents usually wore it felt right when she'd put it on and for Rin that was all that mattered. Rin left her brown tresses flowing down her back since if felt natural, but also because she felt like she was pretending to be another person when she held it in place with an army of hair pins. Tonight Rin was determined to forget everything and enjoy her evening, also, she would have Kohaku for company, and unlike the formal gatherings she attended with Sesshomaru, she wouldn't have to struggle while trying to portray the perfect wife.
"What's the occasion?"
"I have plans tonight." Rin watched as a flicker of annoyance flitted across Sesshomaru's calm and collected visage.
"Judging by your attire you must be attending an important event or some sort, but I'm curious as to why it hasn't occurred to you that you should tell me about something as important as this."
"I thought you could care less about my personal life." Sesshomaru ignored Rin's remark and hid his annoyance.
"You haven't answered my question." Repeated Sesshomaru. Rin was slightly alarmed at the rate in which Sesshomaru was losing his patience. She had never seen him less than composed which struck her as unusual.
"I'm going to my university's graduation ball."
"Shouldn't you give me some warning, or did it never occur to you that you're expected to bring a partner."
"It's been arranged, and my partner ought to be arriving just about now." As if on cue, a brisk knock was heard from the other side of the double doors of the master bedroom before Sesshomaru could object. Sesshomaru cursed silently and uttered the command for the butler to enter.
"What is it!?" Demanded Sesshomaru, the impatience evident in his tone of voice.
"Sir, a young man by the name of Kohaku is at the gate of the main entrance and he insists that he is supposed to meet with miss Rin."
"Kohaku? I've never heard of him before, order the guards to send him away." Commanded Sesshomaru.
"Wait!" The two men turned towards Rin surprised, although Sesshomaru hid his emotions exceptionally well. "Kohaku is my partner for the graduation ball. Could you tell him, I'll be down shortly."
The butler nodded in understanding and hurried away without any further encouragement.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"Nothing," Rin met Sesshomaru's infuriated gaze with hard eyes, "you don't need to worry, there won't be paparazzi and no one from the university knows that I'm married to you. There definitely won't be any tabloids to worry about, although I wish I could say the same about you." Without another word Rin exited the room, closing the door behind her and leaving Sesshomaru slightly baffled from the last phrase she uttered.
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At the Graduation:
Rin and Kohaku greeted the people they knew and remained inside the building where the ball was being hosted, but unfortunately the room soon became overcrowded with their fellow graduates and they opted to go outside for some air. They strolled around the campus without noticing where they were headed until they stopped at a fountain with statue of cupid posed to shoot an arrow.
"This is an interesting fountain."
"Yeah, but apart from the appearance there's a story behind it."
"Really?"
"It's rumoured that a pair of students fell in love after meeting coincidentally at this fountain, but their happiness didn't last for long."
"What happened?"
"Well, the girl was diagnosed with a disease, but this is where the story gets interesting. You see, her boyfriend returns to this fountain and wishes for his lover's recovery."
"Did she really recover?"
"Yes, it was a miracle, and since then couples that are students here or people who are in love come here to make wishes."
"Do you think all the wishes come true?"
"No," admitted Kohaku, "but if you deserve it, I'm sure it will."
"Well there's only one way to find out." Rin clasped her hands together and closed her eyes. 'I wish that one day I'll find my prince.'
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Author's note: Sorry about the late update, but after school starts I'll probably update less frequently. Anyways, thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate them. The next chapter will be titled: Exposed.
I'll probably post a preview on my profile page in two days or so. I hope you enjoyed the story so far.