A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or any of the songs mentioned in this chapter.

Repetition

Jodi clutched John's hand tightly as they pulled out into traffic before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. He responded by glancing over at her with a small smile and Jodi's heart jumped in her chest, her stomach leaping as it did every time he looked at her.

"You sure your boss won't be pissed about you running off?" he asked, and Jodi shrugged, frowning slightly at the thought of Caleb. Being pissed was more than an understatement. She knew what he had expected of her tonight. Not only was she to impress their guest, but Jodi knew Caleb would do anything—including pimping out his girls—to get the notoriety he wanted.

The chances of him firing her were slim, though Jodi knew her disappearance would cause a significant rift in their relationship. For the first time she had defied him, and she did it when he needed her. But if Jodi wanted a relationship with John to work, she knew she would have to commit.

"Yeah but…well, whatever. So, where should we go?"

"What I'm not taking you back to your place?" he asked, stopping for a red light and glancing at her.

"No actually. Remember I came with Detective Stabler. We can't go back to my place. What about yours?"

At this, he clenched his jaw and Jodi watched him tense notably, hand curling beneath her own in a way that showed he was clearly uncomfortable with the idea. Dozens of thoughts flew through her mind, the first and foremost being that John didn't want her over. After all, they had sex. He had gotten what he wanted, right? But her insecurities were put to rest as she reminded herself that he had come to see her, particularly when he had been presumably forbidden by his boss from doing so.

"I don't know…by that reasoning everyone at work knows where I live. They'd check my place too. Besides, it's not really anything special." He shrugged, and a light flipped on in Jodi's head as she realized that John was embarrassed to show her where he lived. She knew cops didn't make much, though he had to be better off than some as a detective. If not for Caleb's wonderful opportunity, Jodi knew she would be living in the crummiest of places. Her aunt had money of course, but was a frugal woman and within her rights to be as such.

The rehab stints her cousin had been through weren't exactly cheap either, and at the end of the day Jodi's only real source of income was her job, and Caleb's generosity which she may have soon found depleted. After all, he rented the townhouse in his name, and at any point could probably yank the property from under her feet leaving her homeless.

Working such a job she was fortunate to make hundreds each night, and thousands a week. Like many women in the sex industry, she could afford a lavish life to an extent. That did not include the house though, which would have to be the first thing to change, and if Caleb fired her, Jodi could say goodbye to the life she had grown used to living. Already she had dropped out of school, and without that job there wasn't much left.

"So what do you propose? Shacking up in a hotel like two kids after prom night?" Jodi asked, only half-joking. Though her tone remained light, she could tell John sensed her displeasure as he glanced at her and pursed his thin lips slightly, giving a slight sigh. Leaning back in her seat Jodi glanced out the window as it began to rain, cold wind blowing against the windows and causing her to shiver slightly, rolling up the window.

"Well, no. I just…"

"What? Haven't had time to clean? You do realize that unless last night was a one-time I want to stick around with you. And that means you taking me to your place at least once in a while until all this shit blows over. I don't want to feel stupid in assuming you want something more than sex though." Jodi said, unable to stop herself. Feeling her cheeks burn she yanked her hand away from John's, embarrassed that she had been unable to hold her tongue and had succumbed to her petty insecurities.

"How can you even think that? Jodi you know I care about you. Too much I might admit. I just-"

"I know. I know. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that at all. It just kind of slipped out John." Jodi shook her head, daring herself to face him and she noted the stress in his face at her admission. Reaching out, John grabbed her hand and brought it to her lips, tracing the back with his thumb as he turned to face to road and Jodi couldn't help but smile. The way he treated her and made her feel was the way she'd always envisioned of some fantastical romantic relationship.

"Want to grab a bite to eat? I know a place with some pretty good burgers." He asked.

"Okay. Sounds good." Jodi replied, silently adding that anything he suggested would be more than enough for her.

John let go of Jodi's hand as he dug into his coat pocket for the keys to his apartment. Behind him, Jodi stood on the front stoop and took a sip of cherry soda from her cup, bouncing with her hands in her pockets against the cold then meeting John's eyes with a smile.

After taking her to a diner the two grabbed a classic meal of burgers and fries. Jodi impressively finished off a bloody-rare bacon cheeseburger and a plate of fries, and like the one of a kind girl she was, offered to pay before John refused. And while he had no problem treating her, he couldn't help but admire when she put her foot down and adamantly insisted on at least leaving a tip. It showed she was perhaps just as committed to their "relationship" as John was, and further dispelled any theories that she was just in it for monetary gain.

Nervously, he stuck the key into the lock, still reeling at the thought of having Jodi in the sloppy apartment that he called home. While she was holed up in that expensive townhouse, what would she think of his bachelor's sty? He kept it orderly enough for himself of course, but for a guest? It was the best he could comfortably afford on his salary, nothing close to her million-dollar home.

Just as he prepared to open the door Jodi's cell phone ran, and she retrieved it from her pocket before holding a hand up to John and answering it, turning her back to him. Lingering with his hand on the door he waited for her to either come in or tell him to go inside and wait, granting him the opportunity to do what little cleaning he could before she could become horrified by his living conditions and leave him.

"Yes…yes….Caleb, I know. I know. I just wasn't feeling well I asked John to take me home…what do you want me to say?...I am sorry, I got someone to replace me. I mean it'd be kind of hard to have me out with the Chancellor with an SVU detective sticking around…yes…no….no…Caleb, please, I'm sorry…"

John continued to watch Jodi as she jittered slightly in the cold, waving her arms around as she spoke on the phone with her boss, and it was evident things were going just as badly as she had anticipated. John couldn't see her face but he could tell by the way her shoulders were hunched that Caleb did not seem to be one of the most forgiving people, and John had half a mind to take the phone from her and give the asshole what to.

He was uncertain if Jodi had forgotten he was standing there, or if she just didn't care, but it was evident from the context of her conversation that Caleb Frank expected Jodi to spend the evening with the German Chancellor in a pretty obvious act of prostitution, and John's mind reeled with the possibility of seeing the scumbag thrown in jail. All it would take was one call, and he could get the asshole locked away.

After several moments and raised tones, Jodi finally hung up her phone and turned around, revealing splotchy red cheeks and slightly widened eyes. Pouty lips turned into an evident frown John wanted to reach out a put and arm around her but contained himself as Jodi marched up the steps, her gaze downward before she glanced up at him, waiting to go inside.

Steeling himself, John opened the door and turned on the light to his hall.

"Everything alright?" he asked as Jodi stepped inside. Closing the door behind him he turned to face her and she bit her lip, eyes swimming on the verge of evident tears.

"Yeah I'm fine just…let's just get settled in." she shrugged, silently telling him that she did not want to talk about it and John obeyed her wishes, peeling off his coat and sticking it on a coat rack then kicking off his shoes. Noting him, Jodi followed suit, leaving her shoes on the mat by the door then let out a sigh, glancing around as she stepped further into his darkened apartment.

Rolling his sleeves up, John turned on the light in the living room then cleared his throat, glancing back at Jodi who turned and looked at him expectedly through her large doe-eyes.

"Well, this is my place. It's not much. This is the living room, kitchen's over there. Bedroom, bathroom, and another bedroom in the back I pretty much use for storage. I know it's nothing impressive, not like your place or anything." He shrugged and Jodi only laughed, a small, soft trickle as she stood up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"It's lovely. You don't have to try and impress me John. So, what first? Can we watch a movie or something?" she asked, and John couldn't stop himself from smiling. She was so simple, nothing like the women he had been with in the past. Perhaps it was because she was young, or maybe it was that she really didn't need much to be happy. Whichever it was, John was simply thankful he could be with a girl who found joy in something as simple as sitting together and watching a movie after a cheap date instead of lavish nights out to the opera or ballet.

"Sure. What were you thinking? If you've got something particular in mind there's a movie place right down the street?"

"I don't think I can take the cold for another second. We can just see what's on TV. It's Halloween tomorrow, there has to be something on. Besides, I can barely walk after that burger. Can I sit on the couch?"

"You can sit anywhere you want." He replied.

"Well, why don't you come sit next to me?" Jodi continued, cocking her head to the side and walking over to John's couch before sitting down and curling her legs beneath her body, already making herself at home. Unable to keep himself from smiling again and took a seat next to her then grabbed the remote, finally making use of his TV and surround sound system. Flipping through the stations, John finally settled on AMC as they caught a glimpse of the original Halloween then sat back, putting an arm around Jodi as she leaned into him.

"I love this movie. I love Halloween in general."

"I remember seeing it in theaters and thinking what a fox Jaime Lee Curtis was."

"Can't say I disagree with that. Thanks for…well, everything tonight John. I just really needed to get away, you know? It'd be nice to get out of this goddamned city too but I don't see that happening. At least when I'm with you things seem a little bit normal." She said, glancing up at him through large green eyes so that John leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Inhaling her, he rested his chin against the top of her head as they settled into the movie. The truth was, the way the case was going combined with the state in his life, John needed an escape as well. And Jodi served her purpose in providing it. Even now as he held her he still couldn't believe that such fate had actually brought them together, a collision of two different universes.

Never in a million years could he have even imagined such a turn of events in which he found himself entangled with a burlesque-performer more than half his age. Particularly a young girl who could end up headlining in concert halls and opera houses across the world if she put her piano and dancing talents to use. John had heard her play and was more than impressed: he was overwhelmed.

As they watched the movie in silence John felt Jodi's lips moved every so often as she silently mouthed dialogue. She had mentioned once or twice having a love for movies, however John had no idea it bordered on cinephilia. It occurred to him a girl of her age shouldn't have known anything about the 1970's film, regardless of its iconic status and here she was mouthing the words as if she had seen it a million times and one.

After about 30 minutes the film went to commercial break and Jodi sat up, lifting her legs and sprawling them across John's lap before placing a hand on the side of his face. As he felt her warm skin cup his jaw, he turned just as she moved in, hesitating slightly before greeting him with her lips.

Without any kind of reserve John kissed her back and Jodi's hand moved to his chest as she grabbed his shirt in one of her fists and broke away for a moment, looking into his eyes from beneath those dark lashes.

"Can we go upstairs?" she breathed, and John nodded, opening his mouth only to find that he could say nothing. Instead, he only moved like a zombie as Jodi grabbed his hand, looking up at him expectedly before John realized he would have to lead her to the bedroom.

Nodding nervously, he cleared his throat and walked ahead of Jodi, navigating his apartment as he found himself thankful for once that he was somewhat cleanly. Opening his bedroom door he hesitated and turned around to apologize to Jodi for it not being tidier when she all but attacked him with her mouth, rendering him completely silent.

Jodi fell onto John's bed, raising her arms above her as he bent down and removed her shirt, pulling it over her head. Tossing it aside carelessly she reached up and grabbed him, pulling his mouth to hers once more as she let her tongue slip into his mouth.

Body heating, John's hands began to wander her body, moving up and down her side so that she spread her legs and began to grind against him subtlety, letting him know exactly what she wanted and needed. Much to her surprise he replied by reaching a hand down into her panties and rubbing her slowly before moving to her neck, lips wandering.

"I've been thinking about you all day." Jodi whimpered, grasping a handful of John's white hair and he grunted into her neck, lips moving to the tops of her breasts upon which he planted quick kisses. Grasping her breasts Jodi arched her back and John unhooked her bra, all but ripping it off her body before diving between the large mounds and turning his attention to her nipples.

Tilting her head back she closed her eyes, grasping at his headboard as John continued to lick and suck on her nipples, biting down every so often before leaving the gentlest off kisses as they tightened and hardened. Jodi could feel the flush pouring into her chest and cheeks, as well as the growing wetness between her legs just from the thought of John's mouth on her once more.

Pulling up her legs, she moved into him as he continued to rub her, letting one of his fingers graze her clit before penetrating her and crooking a finger so that Jodi cried out and John chuckled on top of her.

"You're wet already?" he breathed, and Jodi smiled, kissing him again and silently noting that if he hadn't been with a younger woman in a while, there were bound to be quite a few plumbing differences.

"Why don't you make me even wetter?" she responded flirtatiously for her love of talking dirty and John inserted another finger, pushing them in and out as Jodi writhed beneath him.

"I could just play with these things all day." John grunted as he continued to toy with her breasts using his remaining hand. Pinching a taut nipple roughly Jodi hissed between her teeth, wanting to feel John pump into her as she had fantasized about all day. There were simply so many things she wanted him to do to her and she knew that in due time, she would prove it was never too late to sexually discover yourself. Jodi was certain many of the things she yearned for John had never tried, and she was more than eager to give him the chance.

"They're all yours to do what you want." She moaned, and John removed his fingers from inside of her, notably wet then sat back on his knees as he moved to undo his fly. Remaining on her back with her legs spread Jodi simply watched him, their eyes never leaving one another's as he pulled down his pants and underwear to reveal himself fully erect.

Grabbing himself, John placed a hand on Jodi's knee then pushed into her slowly, giving Jodi the chance to breathe him in as he entered deeper inside her until meeting her at the hilt and causing her to gasp loudly. As pleasure seeped from all orifices Jodi reached out and placed a hand on Jodi's shoulder before he began to pump in and out of her slowly.

Reaching up Jodi placed a hand around John's neck and closed her eyes, simply allowing her pleasure to mount as John took her for the exact escape she needed.

"You're here later than I expected. Did you sleep in?" Olivia asked as Elliot walked into the squad room and he shook his head, sitting his jacket on his chair before shrugging and sitting down.

"Jodi and Munch gave me the slip last night and ran off like a couple teenagers."

"Didn't Munch have the night off?" Olivia asked, raising her eyebrows involuntarily at Elliot's statement.

"Yep. Meaning that technically his little stunt isn't going against Cragen's orders. Though I don't think he'll be mentioning it to the captain anytime soon. What about you? You looked like you haven't gotten any sleep."

"I haven't. Working a case with SVU in Queens. Six year old missing, last person to see him was his mother who also happens to be a heroin addict. She was so strung out she could barely put two words together. Dad is just as bad but now he's gunning for custody, and that's assuming the kid is even alive."

"Make any progress on Jodi's case?" Elliot asked and Olivia sighed. The Stanford case was a thorn in all of their sides, and once the media got wind of John and Jodi's relationship they would have little more than a prayer of finding their perp while the bodies continued to drop like flies.

"No. I had a talk with Huang last night. He seems to think our perp might have something special in store for us tonight. Halloween. In fact he's betting on it.

"You mean something more 'special' than sending a girl's head in a box? We've dealt with some sickos in this unit before, but this guy Liv…he just gets under everyone's skin. And he's pretty damn good at it. Anyway, I'm going to order breakfast you want anything?"

"No thanks I finished off some takeout about two hours ago. You go ahead though."

Elliot nodded then picked up his cell phone to dial out as Olivia looked down at her desk, thinking back to the Jodi Stanford case. Glancing up at her computer, she noted the date. October 31st. Indeed, it was Halloween, and while Olivia had never been superstitious, today she felt a sense of unrest. Something told Olivia that Huang may have been right. She only hoped that they would all be ready for whatever this sick bastard had in store.

John walked into his kitchen to find Jodi reading a book at the table with two cups of coffee and a delivery bag in front of her. Chewing on a bagel with cream cheese she put the book down as John entered his kitchen in momentary confusion, wondering when and where she had found the time to gather all of these things.

"Morning. I got breakfast."

"Yeah I can see that. And a book it looks like. How the hell did you get all this stuff?" he scratched his head then adjusted his glasses.

"I go for a run every morning. Obviously I don't have the things here to do that so I just went for a walk down the street and grabbed something from that deli on the corner and I picked up this book from a magazine stand. I already have it but my copy is pretty much torn to shreds, I was about due for a new one. Sit down and eat. I got you kosher bacon." She briefed him, and John sat down, almost bewildered. Even when he was married he had never gotten used to breakfast when he got up in the morning. And Jodi had spent one night at his apartment and she was already turning his life around. He was completely unsure of how to handle it exactly.

"Well…thanks….did you sleep alright?" John asked, digging into the bag and pulling out a Styrofoam container. Opening it he found scrambled eggs with four strips of bacon and an onion bagel, one of his favorites. It was also something he had never mentioned to Jodi before and he paused for a moment, wondering whether to ask how she knew or just trust it was fate. He also decided not to rip into her for going out alone when a madman was after her skull, figuring it would be best not to cause her to worry though she needed to understand the importance of why she was under police protection.

"Not bad. It always takes me a little time getting used to a new place. Listen, I'm going to have to go into the club around two. It's our Halloween show, we've got a long day of decorating and rehearsal. But I was wondering if beforehand you would mind going with me up to Sing-Sing to see my father?

"Sure, I guess. What time were you th-" John began, cut off as his phone began to ring. Glancing down at it he sighed as he read Olivia Benson's name across his caller ID and stood up, answering his phone and walking into the next room.

"You know I'm off today Liv." He growled, sitting down on the living room couch which still smelled like Jodi.

"Is Jodi with you? Elliot said she gave him the slip last night and didn't want to ask you about it."

"Yeah, she's here. Is that all?"

"Well, no actually. You need to come down to the precinct. Cragen has something he wanted to talk to you about." Olivia continued and John felt his heart sink. Once again, any prospect of having an enjoyable day was shot down as he would once again be forced to face the inevitable: another day looking right into the deepest pits of humanity.

"Which I'm assuming means I can't spend time with Jodi now?" John bit sarcastically and heard Olivia sigh on the other end of the line, evidently just as irritated as he was.

"Munch just come down, okay?" she replied then hung up the phone so that John glanced at it for a moment then ended the call, getting up and walking back into the kitchen. As he did so, Jodi looked up from her paper though it was clear she had been listening to him in the other room.

"I guess something's happened, I've gotta go in. I'll take you with me and I guess they'll put a detail on you to take you home or to the prison wherever you wanted to go. I'm really sorry, I was hoping we could spend the day together." John apologized, shrinking slightly. Of course he truly meant he wanted to spend the day in bed together, however simply spending an extended amount of time in Jodi's company without having to restrain himself as previously before was all he had wanted. And that seemed to be a fantasy which would remain just that.

"Oh. Okay. Well, can you stop me by my place so I can change?" she asked, disappointment evident in her voice and John nodded, sighing before pulling his breakfast out of the bag and eating it.

Thirty minutes later there were on their way across town, Jodi silent as she stared out the window so that John wondered if she was upset. Glancing over at her every so often she finally looked at him and reached out, grasping his hand tightly before speaking softly.

"I never thought it would be this hard." She breathed.

"What would?" John asked.

"Caring about someone. Wanting to be with them."

Turning to face the window once more John grasped for words. Her voice was sad, almost hopeless and he couldn't help but silently agree. Something so simple as two adults wanting to be together shouldn't have been so difficult. Yet so many thing stood in the way. Her situation, his position, their ages, her lifestyle, his own past relationships. It was as if God was trying to draw a wedge in between them at every turn, only further complicating the barely-built relationship they were trying to form.

"Look, I know things are a little crazy right now. But as soon as everything is over we can…be whatever you want. We'll nail this bastard, he'll rot and jail, and I'll be around as long as you'll have me." John replied, and Jodi turned to him, shaking her head then bringing his hand to her lips, planting the softest of kisses that left his hand tingling.

The rest of the way, they drove in a tense silence before arriving at Jodi's home. Doing a quick sweep of the area John let her in, she changed quickly, then the two hopped into the car once more to make their way to the precinct.

As traffic began to build, John looked at his window and observed small white snowflakes, falling at an incredibly halted pace. They were nothing to be concerned about, but the simple thought of snow in October was more than enough to rile the feathers of New Yorkers. Already it had been unseasonably cold, and now it appeared they were in for some slippery weather.

For other departments, colder temperatures meant less crime. Who committed robberies when you were blocked in by snow? Unfortunately for the SVU, rape and child abuse did not find itself weather-inclined. Rain or shine, they could expect a call forcing them to deal with the worst types and yet another case which would remain not only heart-breaking, but more than likely harden them all so human interaction (particularly dating) became a task instead of a pleasure.

John couldn't shake the feeling in the back of his head that what he was doing was wrong. Yes, Jodi was a consenting adult. But that didn't change the fact that he felt like a pervert. Age-wise she was just a baby. She couldn't legally drink, rent a car, or even buy a pack of cigarettes the next state over. In his line of work, a girl of her age would only be with a guy of his age for one of two reasons: either she was getting money out of it, or she was being forced.

It was so easy to forget how old she was. After all, Jodi had the maturity of a woman ten years her senior. She talked as if she were approaching 30 with hopeful youth yet still kept herself grounded and connected with her responsibilities. And she and John had meaningful conversations about the more important things in life instead of trivial entertainment or superficial yearning.

But every once in a while, she would catch John with a statement that caused him to stop and think, remembering how young she was. And when he did remember this, John felt inherently guilty as well as disgusted with himself.

"I only hope so. I'd really like for things to work out between us. I just wish you could've met my father today. He would like you."

"Yeah I'm sure. He'd love to see his 18-year-old daughter dating a 54-year-old who also happens to be a Jewish cop." John deadpanned.

"You'd be wrong. I've always made it clear I've had a thing for older men. And it's bound to happen when you have a kid young given her attractions she might bring someone home a little older than you. He's a good man."

"A little older?" John raised his eyebrows.

"Well…I guess he may have been a little surprised." She mumbled, and John couldn't help but laugh, knowing she meant it jokingly, once again proving herself to be a seemingly perfect match for him. He found it so rare for a woman to hold beauty, talent, and personality all together but she did it truthfully and honestly.

Despite their moods, they both continued to make small conversation until arriving at the precinct. Turning off the ignition John sighed, looking over at Jodi who looked cute in a wool hat and peacoat, hands buried in the pockets to ward off the cold as her cheeks flushed and her red tresses stuck out from under the hat.

"I guess I'll take a raincheck on that day together." She shrugged, and John nodded, leaning in so that he could taste her lips just one more time before they went inside. Shifting in her seat, Jodi leaned over to kiss him back and placed a gloved hand on his shoulder, resting her forehead against his own.

They were both torn apart of several violent honks and John looked around to find a pair of shields two cars down, laughing in their cruiser.

"Well, at least you guys manage to have fun." Jodi chuckled then opened her door, stepping out into the cold. Glancing at the younger officers John shook his head and got out as well, then followed Jodi into the precinct, heart still beating from the minor scare.

As they stepped into the quad room, John found the rest of the Special Victims Unit there, all talking over coffee and papers with one another as he approached. Setting his keys down on his desk he took off his jacket and coat then glanced at Jodi, noting the way some of the people in the office glanced at them, making it evident their relationship was anything but private.

"Here, you can put your jacket here with mine." He muttered and she nodded, unbuttoning her coat. Pulling it off John set it on his chair atop his own then grabbed Jodi's scarf, pulling it off of her. She responded with a smile, looking at him over those large eyelashes and John grinned back, playfully wrapping her in her scarf before taking it off, remembering there were in public.

"Munch, I need to see you in my office." Cragen called out and John turned around, feeling like a kid pointed out in school just as Olivia approached.

"Hey Jodi, you want to come with me?" she asked, and Jodi glanced up him then nodded tentatively leaving John with nothing to do but look after her worriedly before taking the solemn walk to Cragen's office to be taken off the case.

Jodi sighed, slamming down the magazine Detective Benson had given her as she stood up, feeling as though her bladder was about to burst. The detective had left her ten minutes ago to her own devices up above the quad after telling her she would be back and Jodi had found that the human body had a way of making itself inconvenient.

Glancing around she studied the layout of the area, determining there was no bathroom before crossing her arms and heading down the stairs carefully, avoiding the gazes of officers who looked at her and whispered as though they were in a high school hallway. As though her relationship with John were some great crime that needed to be ridiculed by the world. Jodi understood it was unprofessional, but she knew that wasn't the problem: it was her age.

She knew it made John uncomfortable. She knew her friends would likely not approve. But Jodi didn't care. When she looked at John she didn't see the words MIDDLE AGED stamped across his forehead like everyone else seemed to. Instead she saw a handsome, funny, kind, and enigmatic man who she longed to be with and be adored by.

They all thought she was a gold digging tramp who wasn't getting enough at her strip club. All she wanted was money and she skated by on her good looks, never having to struggle in life the way some of them did. And Jodi wanted nothing more than to shake them all awake and let them know their lives had been heaven compared to hers. The trauma, the nightmares.

She had planned to see her father today. Introduce him to John. She knew he would gradually begin to accept him. Prison had hardened him of course, but he was the same gentle soul he had always been, and he and John would likely get along tremendously, even with his disdain for cops.

Glancing around the squad room, Jodi caught sight of Olivia by the back of her head, approaching a room carefully before stopping as she heard John's raised voice, incredibly angry.

"…So what you want her to act as bait then?! How many times have we done this and how many times has it gone wrong?! I'm not putting her life in danger!" he exclaimed angrily and Jodi glanced around, stepping closer to what seemed to be the captain's office where the detectives were gathered.

"We need to at least try something. This guy has killed six girls in the past few weeks. And if Huang is right he's gonna come after Jodi tonight. If this is our chance to get him I say we come for him tonight." Detective Tutuola threw it.

"And what if it goes wrong? This isn't some normal perp we're fooling with here. He's sick!"

"We'll have officers there, I promise you that won't happen John." The captain assured him. Jodi could detect a note of panic in John's voice and found herself both flattered that he was that intent on protecting her and a little angered that he didn't see it as her own decision.

"John this guy has gone through great lengths to avoid detection. No matter how much he likes to show off his work, he doesn't want to be caught. Not on anyone else's terms but his own. He won't do something as brash as storm in and try and hurt Jodi in public. Anything he does will be sneaky. We just need to be waiting in the shadows to catch him when he does." A soft voice said, one she didn't recognize.

"So what do you want to do John just lock Jodi away and leave the rest of these girls to get tortured? This isn't just about you and your little girlfriend anymore!" An evidently heated Detective Stabler shouted only to be admonished by the captain.

"Settle down Elliot."

"No he's just going to let this guy get away to protect some bimbo who doesn't give a damn about him!"

"Elliot!" Detective Benson screamed and Jodi flinched at the insult, wondering if it was how these people really saw her.

"Watch what you say about her!" John hissed, and Jodi stepped forward, unable to take anymore and raised her voice for all of them to hear.

"I'll do it. I'll do whatever you guys want for me to catch this guy." She spoke and they all quieted, spinning around to face her in surprise.

She watched as Detective Stabler swore under his breath, realizing she had heard his comment and looked over at John who stood in the corner of the room mouth slightly ajar.

"I couldn't find the damn bathroom in this place…" she shrugged, trying to make light of the situation but everyone looked away as John stepped towards her, reaching out to put his hands on her shoulders as she stepped back. Immediately he froze, furrowing his brown in confusion.

"What do you need me to do I do this?" Jodi looked around.

"Look, Jodi you're not going to do this. You can't-"

"I 'can't'? You're not telling me what I can and can't do John. I'm so goddamn sick of jumping every time I hear a noise and looking over my shoulder when I take a step. If we can catch him why would you think for a second I wouldn't try? I want my life back. I can't live like this anymore, sleeping with all the lights on in my house just waiting for him to come get me."

"Ms. Stanford you don't have to do this." Captain Cragen said and she turned to face him.

"No, I do. I'll do it. I have to."