A/N - Got sick, crazy week. Hella behind. Gotta run. Needed to post. Post the others later tonight and tomorrow. I know I've said that before but it's true this time!
DISCLAIMER - URGH! I don't own it!!
PS: I'm not sure why Wufei is the butt of all my jokes. But he gets kinda mean in this chapter. Guess I was in a mean mood?
Name: Heero Yuy
Date: December 9, 201AC
Time: 2:15pm
Location: HQ, Earth, Sanq Kingdom.
Mission: Mission Briefing
"Heero! The almighty commander of almighty commander-ness wants to see you!" Duo's voice rang through the floor. I heard snickers as I passed people, obviously laughing at Duo's word choice. Personally, Duo's use of vocabulary, or was it lack of vocabulary, never ceased to amaze me.
"Coming!" I called out after him.
Une was sitting at her desk, head propped up by her hand, rubbing her temples as if she had a headache. With Duo in the room, it was no wonder. He happened to be rubbing his head while sprawled on the floor. I helped him up and sat next to him in the chairs provided.
"In regards to your mission, you need to take up a code name and a slight disguise." Une folded her hand on the desk. "Your codename is Solo Knight. You have your friend Duo to thank for it."
My jaw slacked slightly at the mention on Duo's childhood friend. I looked over at him while he traced a knot in the wood of the desk with a smile on his face. At least it was his choice and not a sad coincidence.
"Knight?" I asked him.
He poked the knot. "You know. Like 'knight in shining armor' kind of Knight. You did kind of save the world." He said with a trace of 'duh.' I rolled my eyes.
"Right." I looked back at Une. "You said something about a disguise?"
She nodded her head as she began. "Clothes, and maybe a tattoo or two, some hair gel." She looked to Duo. "You will go with him I presume? I need a knowledgeable eye to make sure he checks out."
"Oh I'll check him out alright!"
I put my best 'pleading' face on. "You're not really relying on him are you? He's going to go too far. He always does!" I heard Duo laugh.
"I only go as far as you beg for."
"Maxwell!" Une clipped. Duo straightened up. "Yes, Heero. He knows the street look. You have the look of a bicyclist. Deal with it." The chair squeaked as she stood. "Now get going before Maxwell ends up on the floor again!"
I nodded reluctantly and removed myself from the chair. When I spared a glance at Duo, he had a grin that promised my embarrassment. Some people, as we passed them, gave me sympathetic glances and I tried my best to beg them silently for a little help. No one came for me. Wufei didn't even try to hide his amusement and Trowa let himself to a knowing laugh.
"I'm not going to rape you or anything!" Duo exclaimed when we were alone in the elevator.
"No, but you have the power to mark me with any embarrassing disguise you see fit."
"Relax! I'm not gonna let you look like an idiot, just a little…" At his trail off, I leaned my head against the wall of the elevator and winced.
"What? Just tell me."
"Well, just a little like a street kid, druggy wannabe that listens to rap rock while sleeping in the cold." He clapped me on the back at the same time the doors opened. He led the way and I reluctantly followed.
The large department had several private rooms, one of which was where I would be getting that dreaded tattoo. Another, where I would be given my clothes. Duo kept forward towards the back corner of the floor. I stopped when I realized what he was getting at.
"No. You never do this! What are you going to do?" I protested as Duo shoved me towards the chair. He pushed me down into it right as a plastic sheet was wrapped around my neck.
I sat in annoyance while Duo discussed my hair with the Preventers hair stylist. The woman wound up 'blackening my roots' and randomly 'streaking a faded blue'. I stared at it in the mirror, surprised that I actually thought it did what it was supposed to. It wasn't over the top, but still enough to start my new look.
"See?" Duo stated under his breath as we walked towards the next station on his list. "It's not that bad!"
"This is just the first of many differences. You have yet to be out of trouble."
"Whatever. Next is the fun part." Again he pushed me towards a room and again I stopped, this time not in horror but in amusement. I was actually quite curious as to how Duo was going to decorate me.
The man with the skill of temporary tattoos was leaning against a counter openly flirting with about five other girls. Duo and I exchanged a look and a laugh before he stared on the guy.
"Hey! Dickwad! We need some shit!" The man turned towards us angrily, mouthed 'in a sec' and then turned back to his important business with the ladies. Duo leaned in. "Dick is his real name, just so you know."
"It's gonna be something else if he doesn't get to his job." I got a snicker in appreciation. "What am I getting anyway?"
Duo never answered me, eventually dragging Dick away from his party to get started on me. Apparently he discussed what I was getting while I couldn't hear because Dick immediately got started, cleaning and prepping my upper arm.
I've done this before; gotten a tattoo. Real needles, temporary ink, and it actually doesn't hurt that much. I watched as he started in black, a couple of lines, a curved shape then another ending in a point.
"Duo!" I pushed Dicks hand away when I realized what it was. "You can't be serious!"
"Hey the heart with 'Mom' is a classic-"
"-Cliché."
"-Tattoo of the street kid." He finished as if I hadn't interrupted.
"Except most street kids are on the street because they don't have moms."
"Or their beloved mother died! There's your story!" He clapped twice, ushering the artist on.
"I never knew my mother Duo. Neither did you." He knew I wasn't being serious as serious as the statement was.
"You don't know that!"
"You want mom or not?" Dick interrupted. I looked to Duo since he was in charge of my look and watched a grin grow on his face.
"You could always pay homage to your best friend in the world." He nodded at Dick who, I guess, knew what it meant.
"Yeah, a heart with your name in it. Sounds perfect." I looked at my arm where Dick was finishing up with the black. An outline of a heart and a ribbon with Duo's name in it. Next was the red for the- "I was being sarcastic!" Duo erupted in laughter and Dick shrugged, switching to the red ink. "No. Change it now! I can't have Duo's name in a heart on my arm!"
"Too late." Dick spoke. "Would you like cranberry red or Christmas red?"
I stared at Dick, speechless.
"Cranberry. And could you put a shine on the top right corner?"
I whipped my head to Duo, grinding my teeth.
"Definitely. And maybe a little purple on the ribbon."
Again, I looked to Dick.
"Oh yeah. And for the next one, I was thinking-" Duo stopped, waiting for me to cut him off. By his face, I'm sure my face was furious. "Just kidding! Just kidding! Let's just finish up here so we can get your clothes.
As if it weren't enough for me to have black and blue in my hair, and a heart with Duo's name on my arm, I had to dress myself appropriately. With how much Duo was actually helping me, I was hesitant to get too annoyed at his eccentricities.
Duo found me some green cargo pants and three layers of shirts. Then he stripped me and I had to hold back pushing him away.
"Dude, you're going to need some other grundies." My pants had been dropped and he had seen my briefs.
"Like?"
"Uhh, boxers. Duh. Kids these days wear boxers."
I cursed under my breath. "Boxers are uncomfortable."
"Is Mr. Yuy complaining? Boxers are fine! Your pants are baggy enough that they won't bunch up on you." At the statement, I let my eyes roll over his body, taking in his pants and the way they fell around his hips. I remembered seeing him in boxers more often than not when he's changed in front of me and just now realized that he wore his pants a little big. "Now put these on." He handed me the pants.
They were pretty baggy and I needed a belt to keep them up. I put on the undershirt, then a t-shirt and a button up plaid over shirt. I wondered aloud why Duo was handing me a jacket.
"Street kid. Gets cold at night. No home. You know the routine!" He waved his hand then and grabbed my uniform, leading me out of the room.
We went back in the elevator up to our floor. Duo watched me from under his bangs, a smirk in place and arms crossed as he leaned against the wall.
"I kinda like the blue." I glared at his words to which his smirk got bigger. The doors opened and we walked onto our floor and to Une's office. Her secretary had us wait for five minutes while Une finished up another meeting. Wufei walked out of her office then in disguise like me.
It was a war of the ugly disguises. He looked like creepy old business man. I looked like a street brat. We looked each other up and down then saluted while trying to hide laughter.
"That look suits you." Duo teased.
"I think they chose wrong for his mission. You would've made a much better homeless kid than he does. There's hardly any work involved." Wufei retorted. My eyes widened, knowing how that might sting Duo.
"But they didn't choose me. They did however, cast you perfectly. Just remember to stay away from little girls." Wufei's face reddened at Duo's cool comeback. "And little boys for that matter."
I pushed Duo through the door before Wufei could punch him and closed the door behind us. When I turned towards the commander, Duo was already sitting and looking pretty angry.
"For one, great job Duo. For two, get over it. I've got an interrogation for you." Duo perked up at the commander's mention of an interrogation. Une looked to me. "You look almost perfect Yuy. But there's something off."
"He needs boxers, messy hair, nail polish and some eye shadow. I've got three of the four covered." Duo piped in for me. I was glad Duo always told me about all of his plans. Not really of course.
"Alright, remember to be as little armed as possible. Go with Duo to finish and I'll see you in two days. Good luck in the cold." Une ushered us to the door.
"A huge thanks." I deadpanned.
Duo's office held all sorts of mysteries, like the phantom hockey stick that sometimes liked to hang around. However, I had solved the case of the missing black nail polish. He pulled a little bottle out of about twenty five from a drawer and moved to his desk.
I did as he commanded and sat in his chair while he sat on his desk in front of me and set a hand on his thigh. He painted under the nail for grossness and smeared the paint on top for wear. It was repeated before the bottle was set aside and a purplish black powder was pulled from the top drawer of the desk.
He stood and leaned in closer and I had to fight the urge to turn away from the proximity of his face to mine.
"Close your eyes." He whispered and vaguely wondered why he was whispering as I closed my eyes. I felt his finger rub across my eyelid and then under my eye. Again the process was repeated and when he whispered for me to open my eyes, I did and blinked at the powder that fell into them. A rush of air hit me in the face and I jumped, not expecting it.
"Sorry." Duo mumbled. He placed the container of powder in my hand. "The paint will last a couple days but you might have to reapply the shadow. I want it back so don't lose it. Now, for one last thing before I take you to get some boxers." He went back to the drawers that held the nail polish.
"Can't I just borrow some of yours?" I stifled a yawn but caught the tension rising in his shoulders as he continued to search for whatever he was searching for. Probably the hair gel.
"Uh, okay." When he turned his cheeks were tinged a definite pink. For as open as he was, he sure knew boundaries. He must cross them just to piss people off. "You'll have to stop by my place though. I don't have any clean one's here." He gave a sheepish grin.
"I would hope not." He opened the gel and squirted some of the gooey stuff on his fingers.
I blinked and my stomach growled.
His hands reached out after rubbing the gel on both of them and he grabbed at the roots of my hair and, from what I could feel, pulled.
"Ow. What are you doing?" I nagged at him.
"Making your hair look greasy." My stomach growled again. "We'll get some food before I drop you off so you don't starve." He grabbed more fistfuls of my hair and pulled. It didn't actually hurt all that much but I had to resist pulling away again. I felt extremely awkward and was suddenly finding it difficult to place my arms somewhere.
"Alright!" Duo gave one last squeeze of the hair on the back of my neck and I shivered. "We'll stop by the apartments and then get food. Where do you need to be dropped off?"
"I'll walk. I need to look tired and know the streets anyway." I answered him. He wiped his hands off on a towel and grabbed his office phone.
"Can I have a large double meat, no onions and added pineapple pizza please? Yes. Uhh, coke is fine. No. Yes. Meteor Street Apartments. Zero Zero Two. Okay, thanks!" He hung up and I smiled at him. "Ready? It's quitting time."
I nodded at him and we both made our way downstairs. The glass windows on office doors reflected me perfectly and just as I was wondering how Duo always remembered how I liked certain foods, I caught a glimpse of myself in one of those windows. I froze.
"You alright?" Duo asked, returning to my side and looking in the window with me.
"I look like shit."
"Exactly!" He was a little too happy about this…
"Thanks." …But he had done a good job. "But do I really have to go out like this?"
"Are you bailing on a mission?"
I attempted my best sad face and we finished the walk out the front doors.
Mission: COMPLETE