(A/N: This is obviously non-canon, but I got to thinking about this and it made me laugh, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.)
George Lewis owned a mom-and-pop shop on Main Street, in which he mostly sold wands. The majority of wands are sold this way, with very few wands being mass manufactured for the reason that the more care and energy is put into a wand, the better it will work. It was for this reason that the Lewis Magical Market sold the best wands in the area. Mr. Lewis was known for the immense care he put into hand making every wand, and only ever purchasing the highest quality artisan wands for resale (which he hardly ever did). This fact combined with his kind, fatherly aura and immense knowledge of sorcery made his shop ideal for providing magical paraphernalia to the nearby Skool of Majiks. So it was no surprise that a dark-haired boy with a large head burst into his shop one foggy Tuesday evening, with a strange green child in tow.
"Why hello Dib, how nice of you to visit me!" Mr. Lewis exclaimed, unphased by the child's obviously distressed demeanor. "Have you found any aliens or Bigfeets yet?"
"Yes, actually, Bigfeets was in my garage- but that's not what I'm here for! I have a problem," Dib said, gesturing to the child beside him. "You know how when you enter seventh grade you're supposed to stop using your class wand and get outfitted with a better one?"
"Of course I remember, I sell many wands to your school this time of year. Do you need help with fitting this boy with magical items? I didn't expect that of you," Mr. Lewis admitted. It was a tad surprising seeing as Dib's father, Grand Magister Membrane, was head of the Council of Archmages- Dib assisted in the yearly fittings of wands to students because he was naturally proficient in seeing auras and other magical tasks.
"This kid can't even hold a real wand, let alone be fitted with a broom. He couldn't cast anything using the metal class wands before and I can't see his aura at all, but now every time I give him a wooden one he-" Dib was clearly very frustrated.
"Now, now, Dib, that's no reason to be upset. What's your name?" Mr. Lewis asked the green child.
"I am Zim," he replied, clearly miffed from being ignored since he arrived in the shop. It was strange that the boy was quite small, even for his age, and his lack of a nose, ears, or naturally-pigmented skin weren't helping. Somehow, though, the appearance was familiar.
"Zim transferred into the Skool when we were in fifth grade. Everybody thinks that he's some type of cave gremlin 'cause he can't cast a spell to save his life. I know it's just 'cause he's an alien, though, and I promise he's just as ugly out of his disguise as he is in it," Dib snickered, and Zim could only respond with great offense and protest.
"ZIM IS A HUMAN! Zim is a normal looking filthy worm-baby just like the rest of our class. I just have a skin condition."
"Dib! Use kind words," Mr. Lewis scolded, glaring at the boy. He visibly shrank down and muttered out an apology. "In any case, Zim, I'd be happy to help you find a wand. Some hands don't have an easy time projecting magic through metal, and it just takes the right type of wood to make things work! So how about you do me a favor and hold this?" The man reached under the shop counter and brought out a long, light colored wand with a large glass sphere on the bottom. Just from looking, Dib could tell it was roughly fifteen inches in length and made of golden oak, most likely a glass core- obviously a wand intended for fitting.
"This little sphere on the bottom will change when you hold it, just like this," In the time that Mr. Lewis had held the wand the sphere had turned a soft, warm red and it appeared that there was a warm fire crackling inside of it. "This will tell me everything I need to know about what kind of wand you need."
"Mr. Lewis, I already tried using a fitting wand, but-" The shopkeeper cut the boy off with a paternal glare and gently handed Zim the wand.
Nothing really happened at first, but just as soon as a the first inkling of a color appeared in the sphere, it filled with blinding white light and- CRACK!
When the smoke had cleared, Mr. Lewis saw the unbelievable. Just by holding the wand, Zim had caused it to burst. The wand itself was scorched, and the glass sphere had shattered. Dib would have been able to see if the green boy had done it on purpose by watching the flow of energy through his aura, but the pair wouldn't have come to the shop if Zim was just messing around. Dib, having seen this before, made violent "see what I mean" gestures and crossed his arms.
"I tried every type of wood and core with this kid, I'm serious. Mahogany, rosewood, pine, fir- kaboom. Pegasus feather, unicorn hair, mermaid bone, I even tried harpy talon, and- kablam! Kablooey! I can't figure it out, and I can't see his aura even if I tried." Dib cried in frustration, and Zim just shrugged.
"This is just another example of how special and powerful the all-mighty ZIM is." Dib reacted by rolling his eyes, much to the offense of the green boy.
What on Earth did this mean? It was possible that Zim was a species of gremlin, seeing as his teeth were oddly shaped, but most green gremlin species had ears and protruding noses. Perhaps he was mixed with something. Orc? No, too small and too few fingers. Nymph? You don't see those out in public too often. Wait a minute- no ears, no nose, green skin, weird teeth, small…
"Have you ever been sitting in class or at home and random things explode, catch fire, or begin to levitate?"
"Yeah, that happens it class a lot, but it only really started happening when Zim joined our class. It's obviously a plot to kill all humans. I'm not really sure how yet, but that's definitely what it is," Dib accused, knowingly nodding to himself. To his surprise, though, Mr. Lewis began to laugh out loud. Was Zim being an alien funny or something?
"I thought I'd only see one person like this in my whole life, but here you are! How exciting! Here, I know exactly what you need, son." Mr. Lewis smiled brightly and turned behind him to face the shelves of wand boxes and potion bottles. "Petra, I have a very special customer I'd like you to meet!"
A series of light, quick footsteps sounded from behind the large, rounded door leading to the part of the shop where Mr. Lewis lived. Dib didn't know a Petra, and assumed that Mrs. Lewis would come out of the shop, but to his surprise he didn't recognize the girl who opened the door.
Oddly, she wore a white lace glove on her left hand, embroidered with some kind of iridescent thread. She also had on the uniform for a nearby witches-only academy, clad with a wide-brim pointed hat, and a dark cloak with the school's crest on the front.
"This is my daughter, Petra. I have to stay out here and serve customers, but if you'll go back with her I think she'll know exactly what you need. Dib, go on along with them, I'll tell your father that you'll be here for dinner," Mr. Lewis insisted, opening the small gate to allow the boys to walk behind the counter. Petra looked nothing like Mr. Lewis- while they both had freckles, the man had flaming red hair, brown eyes, and an impressive stature, as did his wife. However, this girl had soft strawberry-blonde hair, periwinkle eyes, and was only just taller than Zim, despite wearing the attire for a seventh-year student. Dib had known Mr. Lewis since he was a young child, and would very much remember if he had a daughter. Just who was this girl?
Without a word, Petra led the boys through the door and into the living room. Dib knew this place very well. He and his sister stayed here very often as children when their father was out on council business, and it was a place of warmth and comfort. There was a crackling fire to rid the room of the early winter chill, and many warmly colored tapestries and carpets all about the room. The boys sat on the large couch, while Petra took a seat in an oversized armchair that only made her look smaller.
"It's quite cold outside tonight, isn't it? Would you like any tea or anything before we begin?" Despite how ominous that sounded, Dib nodded. The cold fog had seeped through his school cloak and into his bones, and even next to the fire he was cold. On the chair next to her was a silver tray that had a few white china tea cups and a matching teapot, decorated with flowers that swayed in the breeze. The dark-haired child knew the enchantment that caused painted pictures to move well, as Mr. Lewis had actually taught it to him.
Petra picked up the teapot, and slowly steam began to pour out of the spout, and she filled one of the teacups with it before putting two lumps of sugar and a large amount of milk in it. Still silent, she handed the cup to Dib.
"I don't like sugar in my tea," he said suspiciously.
"Yes, you do," she replied, not even sparing him a glance. Well, he did like sugar in his tea. He liked two lumps and lots of milk, although he wasn't exactly sure how she knew that. "Dad said you were an expert on reading auras, I thought you would appreciate if I just read you instead of bothering asking."
"You can tell how I like my tea just by reading my aura? How?" Dib asked incredulously, and Petra almost seemed surprised. Her expression quickly turned to a sheepish smile.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. You're a…" she trailed off before waving her hand dismissively and once again grabbing the teapot. Instead of pouring more cups, though, she held it until it stopped steaming. Strangely enough, she continued to hold it until new steam emerged from the spout, and when she poured it into two more cups the liquid was an opaque baby pink. She proceeded to smother both cups with sugar and offered one up to Zim.
"I don't like tea," Zim said, seeming nervous.
"I know, it isn't tea like they have it here. You'll know it when you drink it," she explained vaguely, and Zim hesitantly took it. His apprehension melted away, though, when he took a sip, and he began drinking it quite quickly. "Slow down, it's still hot!" Petra exclaimed when he cried out in pain and nearly dropped his cup.
"Not to be rude, but I've known Mr. and Mrs. Lewis nearly my whole life and they've never had a child. Who exactly are you?" Dib interjected, setting his tea to the side.
"Ah, of course, I nearly didn't introduce myself. My name is Petra, and I began living here a few months ago. Papa was kind enough to offer me shelter when he saw me walking by myself during a horrible storm, and when he discovered I didn't have a home he almost immediately offered to adopt me. It was outstandingly kind, however odd," Petra said with a chuckle. "I have heard a lot about you and your sister, Dib. I would have liked to meet you earlier, and under different circumstances, but I am still happy to have finally met you." When she smiled, it was almost as warm as Mr. Lewis', but she had a set of very sharp teeth that slightly unnerved the boys.
"Anyways, we should really get to the task at hand. I think I already know what's going on with your friend," she said, watching Zim much more carefully suck down his weird tea, "But I'd appreciate it if you'd explain it in detail."
So, Dib explained the whole situation, with surprisingly few interjections from Zim. He seemed to have gone quiet since they entered the shop, for whatever reason.
"I see the issue clearly. Here, let me illustrate something for you." Petra walked over to a chest in the corner of the room. She very carefully pulled out a plain looking wand with her gloved hand and sat back down. "As you already know, a wand looks like this. However, a wand is any object that is capable of being an outlet for magical energy. We use wands like these because they are the most efficient way to release magical energy. Have you ever had a time where you went on break or lazed around for a few days, and when you picked up any type of wand a spell would be cast or the tip would catch fire even though you didn't mean to?" Hesitantly, Dib nodded, but Zim didn't respond.
"That's because without an outlet, most people can't release magical energy. Some people can perform magic without a wand, but you must have an immense magical energy to do that, which most people don't. Sometimes, if you let it build up enough, things with begin to levitate or even burst. Or, if you've never released magical energy before, it can do..." Petra switched the wand from her gloved hand to her bare hand, and almost as soon as she had a grip on the wand, it exploded in the same manner as it did with Zim.
"...that. Don't worry, it was a cheap wand anyways," she assured. "You can only release magical energy if you're in an environment that will support that, and Earth is pretty much the only place where everything you make naturally supports magic. A desk made on Mars won't levitate if you cast a spell on it, but a desk on Earth will. Of course, if your species doesn't use magic, you wouldn't be able to feel energy buildups like humans can," Petra took a sip from her tea. "So when an alien tries to use magical outlets on Earth, in my experience they just explode because of all the energy that's trying to escape at once."
Dib almost dropped his cup, and Zim spat the still steaming tea into his lap. The large-headed boy burst into a huge smile. "Wait, you think he's an alien too? This is amazing, no one ever believes me-"
"ZIM IS A FILTHY WORM-BABY, HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE-"
"Oh, would you two calm down? To my knowledge there's only ever been three aliens who even touched the face of the Earth and they're all Irkens, only two of which show this enormous power. Because of this I assume that Irkens are naturally born with this magical energy that humans have so little of comparatively." The boy's jaws dropped. Who told her about Irkens? What? What?
"Zim is a human! I have a skin condition!" The alien jumped out of his seat, and miraculously, in his hurry, he managed to knock something out of his eye. He stood there, fuming and apparently unaware of his blunder, for a solid thirty seconds before glancing down to the floor to spot a very familiar blue contact. Petra, unphased, looked directly into his eyes and waited. "ZIM HAS PINK EYE!"
"...You're going to rinse that before you put it back in, right?"
"What do you mean?"
Petra muttered something that sounded something like Tallest, that's disgusting and pinched the bridge of her nose with two fingers. "Look let's do this the easy way and then we can get down to business." Without any further ado, she pulled off the lace glove and tucked it into a pocket before extending her arms in a "tada" motion and suddenly transformed into a still freckled Irken with an antennae piercing.
Zim was excited to say the least, but Dib was disgusted. "Does Mr. Lewis know an evil alien has infiltrated his home?!" he exclaimed.
"Yeah, why do you think he wanted me to help you?" Dib couldn't reply, as he was shocked that someone who helped raise him actually knowingly housed an alien. "Anyways, I'll get you fitted with one of these gloves, a broom and other school supplies, and of course a wand."
With a flick of her hand, the contact floated up from the ground and some water materialized and washed it before popping out of existence again. She proceeded to float the contact over into Zim's hand. "Come on, let's go into the workshop." Petra didn't wait for the boys as she walked off, and Zim zipped after her as quick as he could.
"H-how did you do that without a wand?" Zim asked excitedly, slowing down to walk next to Petra.
"It takes quite a bit of training, but it's easy once you get used to it! And," she said, patting his arm. "You'll be able to do it too, I promise." They reached the workshop quickly and she opened the door to reveal a large two story room, whose walls were covered in shelves full of potions, hanging herbs and ingredients, cauldrons, wand boxes, and books. In the center of the room, though, was a giant glass sphere that was halfway in the ground. It was quite a sight to behold, and Dib knew the room well.
"It'll take a while to make another glove like mine, but it'll let you touch magical items without making them burst. Here, come and touch this," she said, pointing to the sphere. "It's like the wand from earlier, but much more capable of containing your power." Zim eagerly put his palm against the cool glass of the sphere, and it quickly filled with a dark purple shade and a violent white hot flame.
The defective Irken burst into a positively exuberant grin and watched Petra with huge, waiting eyes. Suddenly, a number of items shot out of their compartments and stood waiting around her. She was knocked out of thought, and seemed annoyed. "No, no, send those wands back! You know all of those will just burn." The boxes sheepishly returned to their compartments.
One of the items was a pair of glasses with pink crystal lenses, and even as all the other items returned those stayed. Petra looked at them curiously, before waving in Dib's direction. "You can't see our auras, right? Here, these should help." The boy gingerly plucked the glasses out of the air, and replaced his pair with the new ones. It was insane.
The aura he had struggled so hard to see was now apparent in full form. The air around the two aliens shimmered and writhed with pure magic, the flow of it dipping in and out of the hosts. He was shocked to see that even though he was several feet away, the two's auras were reaching out and touching his own. It wasn't that Irkens weren't magical- their auras were just too powerful to see with the naked eye!
"I think I know what you need," Petra said to Zim, watching Dib shakily take off the lenses out of her peripheral vision. She raced over to the small section of the wall where the wand boxes were huge and pulled one off the shelf. When she returned, she opened it and faced the contents toward the boys. "Let's try this one."
It was a magnificent staff, about two feet in length and such a dark purple it was nearly black. It tapered to a dull point at the end, and just above the grip it was embedded with a number of stones. Dib could tell it was heavy duty indeed, seeing as it wasn't wooden at all, but he had never been so close to such a thing. "It's a hellhound bone staff, with a valkyrie hair core. These little stones are tanzanite. It should be a nice fit, but when you pick it up, please aim it away from the walls. There's glass."
Zim quickly picked up the staff, and to the human's shock it didn't explode even after he held it for more than thirty seconds. When he put the glasses back on to see, he could tell that the wand was actually casting its own weak aura that forced the magical energy Zim exuded around it and back into his own body. "Here," Petra said, taking Zim's other hand and placing it on the grip of the staff. "Now just exhale gently, and…"
Slowly, a rainbow of purples poured out of the staff's tip and began spreading through the air, forming clouds near the ceiling, rushing faster and faster as the seconds passed.
Dib pulled off the crystal lenses and found that the mist was actually magic- as in Zim was performing magic! "Woah…"
Even Petra couldn't help but smile as the colors swirled about and formed a lion cub that jumped and played around in midair. "Zim has done it! He is a better sorcerer than any pathetic human!" he exclaimed, cackling in sheer evil delight. The mist sputtered a few times, and then ceased. "Aw."
"Don't worry, that's just the wand pulling excess energy out. That'll happen from time to time. Now we just have to get you some school supplies and then you'll be good to go."
"Hey, when I get one of those glove-thingies, does it have to be that delicate stuff? I think that it should be gauntlet. The almighty sorcerer ZIM should have something cool, don't you agree?"
"Maybe not a gauntlet, but I'll see what I can do."
Soon enough, everything Zim needed was collected into a large bag and Petra promised the glove would be done in a few days. Just as Dib was about to drag Zim back to the Skool, the girl (now re-disguised) stopped them at the door. "If you'd like, I can help train you so that you can use your power to its full potential." Zim quite eagerly agreed, and Dib said he'd come to ensure that Zim wasn't up to anything nefarious in nature. So, with a plan and many supplies, the pair went on their way into the foggy evening.
"Petra, was Zim that alien that you were supposed to work for when you came to Earth? Shouldn't you have told him?" Mr. Lewis asked, wiping the counter idly with a dry cloth. In return his adoptive daughter sighed.
"No, it's not him. My invader was on another planet, but…"
"But?"
"I don't think I want to leave."
"I'm very glad about that." Both of them turned towards the door as they heard Mrs. Lewis ring the dinner bell. "Let's go, I think your mother made meatloaf." Petra groaned.
"It's cool that you found an enchantment that makes it digestable for me, but I wouldn't be able to stomach that stuff even if I was human." Despite himself, Mr. Lewis chuckled.
"Be nice, be nice," he said, ushering his child behind the counter. "We eat it because we love your mother, not because we love the meatloaf." Both of them had a good laugh at that before they heard the dinner bell being rung louder and much more insistently. With very few further protests, Petra followed her father into the warmth of the house, the candles that lit up the shop being blown out as soon as the door shut. Even though the winter chill snuck into the shop that night, no one inside could feel it as they ate together, as a family.
(A/N: Two author's notes? In a chapter? I must be insane. Anyways, I wanted to leave a few extra details I couldn't work in without writing a whole new story here because I think they're interesting.
The reason Dib and Zim came during the night instead of the afternoon was because Zim was the very last one to be fitted as punishment for his incessant bad behavior. Gaz, like her brother, is a proficient magic user and is gifted in seeing auras, but she doesn't have to help with fitting wands because she scares the children. Gaz is still required to use the class wand at Skool, but her personal wand is roughly 14 inches, purpleheart, with a harpy talon core. The image that appears when she holds the fitting wand is a swarm of pitch black clouds, and her favorite type of magic is curses and hexes. She won't admit it, but she's horrible at garden and green magic, unless there's thorns and nettles involved.
Dib's wand is 16 inches, dark cypress, with a mermaid fin core. His favorite type of magic to perform is storm magic, and he's really bad with transfiguration and apparition magic because of his stubborn personality. The image that appears when he holds the training wand is a stormy dark green ocean.
Petra has to use a staff, like Zim, and it's quite large. It's about three and half feet in length, and it's made of a whole unicorn horn encased in water nymph clay and imbedded with a large labradorite on the top. The core isn't unicorn hair, though, it's actually a strand of water nymph silk. The image that appears when she touches the sphere in the workshop is a white, almost iridescent swirl of liquid that spreads like ink through water, and tiny white fish dart around inside. She's great at many spells, as she'll practice until she's the best, but has great trouble with spells and potions that change emotions (ie. love potions).
I hope this divergence from normalcy was fun to read, albeit a bit long because of how much I love this idea. I promise next week we'll return to our regularly scheduled program, now on Sunday evenings. Don't forget to leave a review, and as always thank you for reading.)