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Chapter Nine: Healing

I can hear myself screaming. It sounds muffled, like my ears are clogged, but terrible. I can only imagine how it really must be. The pain is even worse. My blood and bones itch, a crazy irritation that keeps me writhing. I can feel that I'm strapped down, and I was all alone. How could someone leave me like this? I'm dying, and no one cares. Dying, no one cares, no one. Let me die...

Things are never normal now. McCoy tells me I'm really sick, and I can feel it. I'm trembling from the stress my body seems to be going under, and I don't remember much anymore. I don't eat much now, too sick to keep it down. I try not to let it bother me, because I have plenty of company. McCoy is always there, and the Captain visits for a while. Nurse Chapel does, too, thought we don't talk about Spock anymore. I've decided to leave that alone, and she seems grateful to discuss other things. Any day now, they say, I'll be better.

The horrible pain again, starting in my shoulder. I have a splitting headache now, and I cry to someone to make it stop. I feel sick - I am sick - and the taste is foul. It's coppery...blood. Why isn't anyone here?! Someone help me! I feel a hand on my face, and I realize Spock is here. He understands my pain somehow, and it relaxes me a little. Tied down...Spock is gone. McCoy, you said you'd stay. Why did you leave? Don't struggle, it hurts. Want to get out...

I wake up again, dried tears on my face. I clutch at the blanket over me with all the strength I have, which isn't much - it's fading. McCoy puts another one over me, but it doesn't help. I feel cold and uncomfortable. Everything I need is fed through tubes, now. I don't speak much because my voice sounds horrible, strained from screaming. I wish I knew what was happening to me. I can't imagine what I look like, but no one says anything about it. When McCoy visits, I smile. I even laugh when he jokes, or tells a good story, and he's the only one I see, now. Everyone is busy trying to save me. I ask about Spock, and Nurse Chapel, and he says they're doing fine. They're working hard to finish the vaccine, which should be done soon. I ask how long it's been, and McCoy tells me 'a week'. It feels like so much longer. McCoy stands, and I know he's leaving, but I ask him to stay. I don't want to be alone when I sleep. He sits next to me and brushes my hair, looking so tired. He smiles, though, and tells me to rest.

Cold, body and mind. I think it's going to be over soon. I'm tired, and I feel bitterness taking over. It's the only thing there, and I hold onto it. I'm not scared. I hate that monster, for leaving me like this. I want to be home, want it to never have happened. Where is home? Mom and Dad, where are you? I picture them, and I'm happy. I don't feel mad; I've been mad for so long. I'm crying, but I'm relieved. Maybe I'll see them now. Maybe I'll go home. It's warm now, and I can think again. Everything is so clear, my whole life, what I need to do. I see two figures, a man and a woman...

"...coming out of it."

"...be all right?"

My eyes fluttered, but stayed closed. I took a steady breath in, then out - and coughed. "Ohh..." I groaned, frowning. Now that I was awake, I could feel the soreness in my whole body. "What's wrong with me?" I opened my eyes, finding McCoy and Kirk standing over me.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Claire," said McCoy, immense relief on his face. "Not anymore. We finished the vaccine, and you've been stable for three days. You're gonna make it."

I smiled, sitting up a little. "You sound like your old self again."

"Do you want to rest a little more?" Kirk asked.

"Are you kidding?" I replied. "I've had enough sleep! What I'd really like, is a decent meal."

The men laughed, and McCoy shook his head. "Sounds like I'm not the only one back to normal. I'll have something brought down right now. It shouldn't take long to get you back on your feet, and the soreness will go away soon enough."

I moved to pull my hair from my face and immediately noticed marks, on my arms. They were bruised, and I guess I must've been strapped down quite a bit. It looked like I had permanent Indian burns, all up and down; I chose not to say anything. I was alive and well, ready to leave this whole mess behind. Kirk left the room, and McCoy took a seat, looking at me carefully. "Are you okay?" I asked. "I mean, really."

"I'm better than okay, actually. I'm glad we have something to combat that venom. No one will ever have to go through what you did."

I smiled. "Good. Thank you, by the way."

He smiled politely. "You're...welcome, Claire."

"I mean, for everything. I don't exactly remember what's happened, but you stayed with me until the end. Even before that, you were looking out for me."

A soft expression crossed that stern face of his. "Of course I looked out for you. From the second you got here, I felt that I had to protect you, no matter what."

Before I could respond again, there was a light tap in the open doorway. Spock cleared his throat, eyeing us. "Good afternoon, Doctor. Miss Stevens, I see you are awake."

"Most certainly," I replied. "Good to see you again."

He nodded, then looked at McCoy. "If I may, I'd like to speak with Claire for a few minutes."

McCoy stood. "Of course, Spock. Claire, I'll be back in a while, so take things easy."

I gave a confirming salute, smiling. Spock replaced him in the seat and was quiet for a moment. "How are you, Claire?"

"I'll live. I literally owe everyone here my life, and I'm just glad I made it, you know?"

He nodded. "Yes, I do. Yesterday, it did not seem the case."

We were quiet again. For the first time, Spock seemed to struggle with his words. Well, he seemed to consider them carefully, with more measure than I'd ever seen. "You were there, we're you? I...saw you, in my sleep. It was like you knew how I felt."

He looked up at me after a beat. "Are you familiar with what is called, a Vulcan mind-meld?"

"Um, not really." It was sort of the truth. I knew what it was, but not exactly how it worked, so it was easy to play along. "What about it?"

"It is a technique among us as Vulcans, a neurological ability which allows us to enter the minds of others. It is a connection of emotions, thoughts, and a very state of being. I admit to performing it on you, on one such occasion. You were under such an incredible amount of physical stress that it began to affect your mind. The meld can be used to repair damage, so to speak, and I wished to understand what exactly what you were experiencing."

"Well, that's pretty cool," I said. "I definitely started to feel better after that. So, you were basically reading my mind?"

"Yes, that would surmise it. Unfortunately, the act can cause more damage than good when used for an extended period of time. After that, your health diminished quite a bit, and I chose not to employ the meld again. Doctor McCoy was able to procure the formula for the vaccine, and

administered it immediately. There was no time to test it, however, all were willing to do anything to save your life."

I wondered if 'all' included him. I smiled, and didn't say anything on it. "I think I'm going home, soon."

"Yes, that would be the logical conclusion, after all of this," he admitted, making an interested face. "I have found this entire situation to be both fascinating and tiresome."

I laughed. "I'm sorry I caused lots of trouble. If it's any consolation, I really did have fun being here. I'll never forget the time spent."

He shook his head. "Nor will any of us. Your presence will be remembered for a long time, I believe."

Just then, McCoy walked back in, the Captain in tow. He looked a mixture between incredulous and excited, while the Captain was...pleased? He had a strange look on his face as he said, "It looks like we've found the solution to all of this."

"Captain?" Asked Spock. He and I looked up at the two expectantly. "What have you discovered?"

"Like I said, the solution. Claire," Kirk smiled down at me, "we found the party responsible for bringing you here. They've been in my quarters for nearly an hour explaining everything."

My mouth fell open, and I sat up all the way. "What? Are you kidding?"

McCoy placed a hand on my shoulder. "Are you well enough to stand? Or do we bring them here?"

"Uh, w-well..." I started, pulling the covers aside. I was in that awful jumper again, and my bare feet moved to touch the cold ground. As I stood, my legs were obviously jelly from so much sleep, and I about fell over. Spock was thankfully in front of me to catch my fall. "I don't know.

Should...I get dressed, first? I probably look terrible." I sat back down, feeling my hair. It was messy.

"If you'd like," said Kirk, "we can give you time. Your clothes are in the other room, so we'll give you some privacy."

It was nice of them, to let me get pretty. They had important things to do - especially now - but I worked as quickly as I could to dress. I'd been brought a brush and mirror, which I avoided for a while. I got into my clothes first, then combed my hair, and finally, taking a deep breath, grabbed the mirror. From what I could see, I didn't look horrible. I'd lost a little weight in my face, and there were bags under my eyes. My lips were a little chapped, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Easing from my bed, I managed to get the hang of walking around for a minute. Then I stepped out of the room, where I saw five people standing there. Three faced me, the men of the Enterprise, but in front of them were two people, a man and a woman, not looking in my direction. Something seemed familiar about them, and as I stepped forward, I got their attention. They turned, and I stopped dead in my tracks. They seemed surprised, too, but it was pleasant; it was like they recognized me, and the feeling was mutual - I was looking at my parents.

"What..the...heck?" I blurted. "What's going on?"

Kirk stepped forward a little. "Claire, these are the people I talked about. They have a little confession to make." He chuckled, and the couple gave a guilty smile.

"So, your name is Claire." The woman smiled. "You really do look like her..."

I held up my hands. "Uh, wait a minute. Who are you?"

The man motioned to himself. "My name is Pharen, and this is my wife, Ehala. We are responsible, as the Captain told you, of bringing you here."

I sort of laughed. "I...don't think you realize. You look like my parents. You're...not my parents, right?"

Pharen shook his head. "No. We come from a planet called Ediix-five, incredibly far away."

"Like...another galaxy?" I guessed. Ehala nodded, smiling.

"We're scientists," she said, and I nearly rolled my eyes. Of course they were scientists. It was always the work of scientists, and I prepared myself for the story. Ehala had a paper in her hand I hadn't noticed, which she passed to me now. It was a picture, and I blinked. It was me, I thought.

"Who is this?"

"That's Mara, our daughter. You see, we were doing research on different dimensions, to see what kinds of people were out there. We found a place nearly identical to ours - your dimension."

I made a guilty face, and snuck a glance at Kirk. He had that smile on his face that knew the cat was out of the bag. Spock didn't look remotely surprised, but I supposed that was because he must have known. I didn't know exactly what the mind-meld had given him, but probably more than he'd let on. "Yeah, I'm from another place," I admitted.

"Yes," said Ehala. "We found you and your family, and made plans to research aspects of your lives. Not to be invasive, but to understand how your world worked - what jobs you performed, what the culture was like. Before we could finalize everything, our daughter managed to get to it first."

"We're sure she's had a hard time at home, being a young adult, learning to do things on her own," Pharen continued. He looked down, frowning. "Maybe she was lonely. She must have seen something in your life, and since you're nearly identical, decided to make a switch."

I raised an eyebrow. This was pretty cool! To think that someone was jealous of my home life was...incredible. I forced myself to stay serious, because these parents were obviously concerned. "What is she doing now? Is she...happy?"

Pharen shrugged. "We don't know. We have no idea where she is. We never managed to contact her after she disappeared, and we couldn't contact you. Something must have gone wrong, because you ended up here, instead of our home world. Mara is...somewhere, probably lost and alone. Perhaps she has no way to contact us, so we'll keep searching. However, we wanted to make sure we set things straight with you, first."

"You mean, sending me home?"

Ehala nodded. She stood from her chair and moved to sit next to me. It was so strange...she looked so much like my mother, but she wasn't her. She didn't have the same mannerisms, or the same gentleness in her eyes. It was meant for another girl, but she smiled at me. "The Captain told us of your injury. We're so sorry you've had to go through that. We never could have imagined all of the dangers when we decided to do this, and we weren't prepared. Are you ready to go home?"

I was quiet. I blinked a couple of times. "...N-Now? Like, right this second?"

"If you're ready. You must be eager to go home, right? Your parents miss you so much, Claire?"

I shrugged. "I don't think so. We don't really...understand each other."

"That's normal. We know the feeling, because Mara and ourselves tend to do the same. She's young and we're getting older, more set in our ways. We forget what it was like to be her age. Your parents have gone through the same thing, but they miss you. They're worried about everything that could happen to you."

"You'll understand when you have your own," said Pharen, not unkindly. I smiled, looking briefly over at McCoy. He had a smile of his own on his face, and I sighed. Pharen was right, and yet, I think I understood more than he thought I did. A little.

"I'm sure I will," I said, standing. "Well...I guess I have to go now. Could I say goodbye to everyone first? I know you need to find Mara, so I'll be quick."

"Of course, honey," said Ehala. We'll wait outside the room for you. What will take you home is on the ship we came in. Take your time, Claire."

The two of them stood, then walked out the door, leaving the room incredibly quiet. I wanted to sit back on the bed, but that would be stalling. Kirk stepped over to join Spock and McCoy, and I laughed a little to myself. All that was missing was a little dog and my ruby slippers. The 'hot air balloon' was down in the hangar, and it'd leave without me if I let it. "Claire? Kirk asked. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm..." I started, but I wasn't. I realized my eyes were glistening, my lips trembling. "I'm okay...I'll be fine."

He walked forward, crouching down a little to meet me eye-to-eye. "You know, I'm glad you came here. Someone as kind-hearted as you doesn't come along too often. That's why you need to go home, to show your family that kindness."

I looked down, starting to feel childish. I didn't care though; it was the last time I was going to talk to James T. Kirk. I lifted my arms and hugged him tightly. "I guess you're right," I said, and he laughed. I pulled away, looking at Spock. He had on one of his softer expressions, and raised an eyebrow as he held out a hand. I grinned; hugging was not in his nature, for sure. I took it, gripping it firmly as I thanked him. Now comes the hard part, I thought, finally looking at McCoy. I couldn't get my mouth to work, and I I couldn't move. I was still crying, and I finally shrugged at him.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Captain," said McCoy, looking up, "would it be all right if I spoke with Claire alone a minute? We'll be right behind you."

"Oh, I see no problem in that. Mr. Spock and I will escort the couple down to the hangar to wait." Kirk nodded to his first officer, who followed him out the door. I sighed again, deeply. I gave an embarrassed smile.

"I really am sorry. I didn't want to cry."

"I know you didn't. Still, I know this is hard for you. I didn't want to miss the chance to tell you what I wanted to, before you got sick. Do you remember?"

It took a moment, but then I nodded. "Yeah. What was it?"

He didn't respond for a second, rubbing the right side of his face thoughtfully. "You know, I could talk your ear off about anything medical, all day long. Telling someone my thoughts or feelings? Forget it."

I smiled. "It's okay. Just say what you need to."

He sat on the chair next to the bed, and to keep things comfortable, I sat as well. McCoy finally looked at me and said, "How...do you feel about me, Claire?"

So that was it, what he'd wanted to talk about. We'd never really had the chance to figure it out, what we were to each other, and now had to be the time. Still, I wasn't sure. "It's confusing, I think," I replied. "How do you feel about me?"

He leaned back. "If I had a say in it, I'd ask you to stay. It's pretty selfish of me, but it's how I feel. I really don't want you to leave."

My face turned, and I looked down. "That makes things complicated, doesn't it?"

"I want you to know, I'm not going to ask you to stay, because it's not my choice. As much as I care about you, it's not fair for you to be taken from your home. I couldn't stand knowing two people, somewhere out there, will be looking for a daughter they'll never find."

"Yeah, that is pretty selfish," I said, but I was joking, and he knew that. "You'll miss me a lot, won't you?"

He nodded. "More than anyone else here will. Claire, I...I love you, like a daughter. Like my Joanna."

I tried not to wince. I hadn't exactly told him how I felt, but saying it now would be awkward. Besides, it had turned out to be a different relationship than I thought, and I was fine with it. I was happy he was in my life, no matter what happened. "Your daughter. Don't you ever see her?"

He shook his head, a sad smiled on his face. "No. She was happier with her mother, and I'm out in space, involved in my work. We don't have time for each other. Still, all I'm saying is that you've kept me some great company. It's hard to believe one can be lonely in a crew of over two hundred, but it happens."

I nodded. "Yeah, I get that. Thank you, for protecting me. For being company for me, when I needed it. Which," I added, "I know, was all the time." That made him laugh. Then came that automatic cue for us to stand, to end the conversation. It was time to go. I looked up at him and said, "You sure it's not to late to catch the next flight out?" I tried, only half-joking.

He wrapped an arm around me. "That's not a bad idea. Hey, don't forget this." He pulled something from his pocket, and placed it in my hand. It was the hair piece he'd given me. "I've been keeping it safe for you."

"Thanks. Gosh, I'm sorry, I almost forgot..."

"Don't you worry. At least you'll have something to remember me, and your time here."

We hurried down to the hangar, where a strange-looking ship stood, strange even for this world. Spock was with Scotty, the two having an interesting conversation about the mechanics of the beast. Pharen and Ehala smiled as we walked to them. "Are you ready, dear?" Pharen asked.

I nodded. "Let's go, before I changed my mind for real." Ehala motioned her hand for me to enter, so I hopped in. The couple followed suit, then took lead to take me up to the bridge. They started to man the controls, and I hurried over to one of the windows for one last look. Four men stood there, and I waved at them with a smile. Three waved back, with one holding his hand up in a famous salute. I tried to copy it, but couldn't do it very well. We lifted off minutes after that, and headed out into the endless, starry expanse. I moved away from the window, admiring how vacant the ship seemed. "Do you have a crew? I asked.

"Yes," said Ehala. "The bridge doesn't require so many hands, having been mostly pre-programmed to travel. There are a few people wandering, here and there. We'll take you down to transport you home."

A part of me wanted to look around, to stall again, but these people had to move on. They had to find their daughter. As we walked, I said, "I have a question."

"What is it?" Pharen asked.

"Well, I'm wondering, will I be sent from the time I left, or, like, now? It's been over a month, hasn't it?"

Pharen looked regretful, already giving me my answer. "I'm sorry. We've barely manage to locate your dimension as it is. Trying to send you to your past could cause you harm, and we'd never want that."

"I understand. Uh, I have one more question, then." The three of us passed through a door or two, finally reaching what looked like the transporter room of the Enterprise. The difference was the single pad on the floor, and I smiled sadly.

"What's your question?" Pharen asked, already fiddling with the controls. I looked at Ehala, and a feeling of readiness washed over me. It was time for me to try again with my Mom - and my Dad - to make a better relationship. Pharen looked up at me when I didn't respond. "Claire?"

"Sorry, just thinking. I would...like to ask something of you. If I can...could we...keep in touch, somehow?"

He hesitated. "You want to come back?"

I shrugged guiltily. "Yeah, maybe someday. I never thought this place existed, so I can't just...leave it behind forever. When you're finished with your research, could I come back? Just for a little."

Pharen looked at Ehala, who was silent. She seemed conflicted as she looked at me. "We're not sure. We know that this place has become special to you, but...I don't think it'll happen."

I snapped my fingers in defeat, giving her a smile. I liked them, but they weren't very good scientists. "It's okay. I had to try. I'm ready to go home now."

Ehala wrapped her hand in mine, and we walked up to the transporter as Pharen finalized everything. She let me go, and I felt light-headed. It got really bright, and my whole body felt like pins and needles. Then...I was gone.

It only lasted seconds. As the light faded, I felt more like me as I found myself in a familiar place. I was in the living room of my house, and it was early morning. I took a breath, sitting back on the couch. I was home. I reached into my pocket, finding the hair piece - it hadn't been a dream, and I thanked Heaven for it. The house was quiet, but I knew where I had to go. I headed out of the living room, down the hall, and to the door on the right. Carefully I turned the handle, finding two sleeping figures in the darkness. Sneaking over, I found my Mom and tapped her shoulder, unsure of what reaction I would get. At first, she didn't wake. I shook her a little harder, and she stirred, looking around. "Mom," I said, "it's me."

It was like someone had put her on pause. She kept blinking, then finally she gasped. "Claire?"

"...Hi."

"Honey," she said to my Dad, shaking him awake better than I could, "wake up! Claire's home!"

He jumped up, clicking the side lamp. I smiled; my parents were so old fashioned. I definitely had missed that. "Claire," Dad said, "you're home! Where did you go?!"

"I..." I was in trouble. Not once had I thought of a cover story. "Why don't you two get up, and we'll talk, okay? Over breakfast? I've missed those homemade pancakes, Dad."

Aaaaand, that's a wrap, folks. Thank you so much for reading this, I hope that you enjoyed it and its ending, feel free to leave feedback of any kind :) Sequel? No sequel? Regardless, I'm onto my other stories, yay!