Disclaimer: I own nothing.
In A Heartbeat
By LilyxJames4ever
Chapter 10 – Rumours, Forks, and Necklaces
"She didn't die?" rings the cold voice. "Crucio!"
Severus Snape writhes on the ground in pain. The Dark Lord relaxes the grip he has on his wand and paces back and forth.
"I know you didn't do that curse to its full power like you had to the Black boy," says Voldemort, more to himself than to Severus.
"No, My Lord –"
"Liar," hisses Voldemort. "The Dark Lord knows you're lying Severus Snape and he does not tolerate liars. Crucio!"
Severus yells in agony again and once the curse is removed once again, lays panting on the ground. Voldemort begins pacing irritably again.
"We'll find another way to get to her. One that's surefire and easy to gain success in. In other words, we need to take someone close to her. Who's close to her, Snape?"
Severus sighs and thinks for a moment. He hesitates.
"I guess her friends but she's becoming a little friendlier with Potter," he spits the last word. A smirk forms on Voldemort's face.
"Ah, she's friends with the Potter brat?" he sneers. "Excellent. I have an idea Snape and you can help…"
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"So? How do I look?" asks Sirius, walking out of the bathroom that is connected between both James and Lily's room. The party has ended at midnight and it is now one o'clock in the morning. Remus and Peter, who had come to the party, are staying with the Potter's and Lily for the rest of the holiday.
"I think I've gone blind because I'm pretty sure, Pads, that you haven't had a sex change in the last several hours," says James horrified. He still has not changed from his earlier clothes except now his white shirt is unbuttoned and his tie is hanging loosely around his neck. But back to the problem at hand. Sirius has obviously stolen one of Lily's bras when she was not looking and is now strutting round, no shirt on, with it. It is a pink, lacy one that Margaret had gotten in their third year for Lily. Lily rarely wears it but keeps it because Margaret says that it makes her more "woman-like".
"Seriously, Pads, take that off!" cries Remus. "Lily's going to murder you when she sees that you stole one of her –"
The door swings open and slams into the wall. Lily strides in irritably.
"Okay, which one of you flatfoots stole my – SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" she shrieks, her eyes wide in horror. James and Peter roar with laughter and Remus tries to keep himself from smiling. Sirius, on the other hand, is backing up in fear of the raging, rambunctious, red-faced, redhead.
"GIVE. THAT. TO. ME. NOW," snarls Lily, extending a hand to receive her bra.
Sirius takes the bra off and hands it sheepishly to Lily.
"Good going Evans, I think you've actually gotten him back to normal," smirks James. "You've managed something in under three minutes that we've been failing to do for the past five and a half years."
Lily gives him the evil eye and stalks out, muttering to herself. James sighs and turns to see his friends staring at him. He rolls his eyes.
"It's obvious something's on your minds so you might as well ask it," he says coolly. They are taken aback by his sudden coolness and it is Peter who spoke up bravely. He is a Gryffindor also, after all, even if it is still a mystery why.
"You never did tell us why Lily is suddenly all harsh to you," he says. The piercing look James gives him sends him right back into his scared form again. James sighs again.
"Sorry Wormy," he says sincerely. "It's just…I-I…"
Remus interrupted him. "James, cut to the chase. What did you do?"
"Why do you always assume it was me?" he asks innocently.
Sirius rolls his eyes, having recovered from his fear of Lily.
"When is it not you?" he asks, pulling on a t-shirt that looks far too tight to be allowed. James glares at him. "Well, is it not you?"
James averts his eyes. "No, it is."
"What did you do, James?" repeats Remus seriously. He has noticed, as has Lily, that James is not running his hands through his hair anymore and his ego, the size of Asia, has lost a lot of its population. What can be the problem?
"Well…I…I, well after Dumbledore left from interrogating her that day…well, I stayed with her and I called her a…" James mutters something incoherent.
"What was that?"
James sighs loudly. "I called her as good as bloody Death Eater!" Remus, Sirius, and Peter gasp.
"Prongs, how could you?" cries Sirius. James is surprised. Usually Sirius is not the one to be reprimanding him on tact and all that. That spot is typically reserved for Remus who tends to be the only one with tact in their group.
"He's right, Prongs, as scary as that is…That's ridiculous not to mention not true," says Remus, calmer than Sirius. James cannot resist; he runs his hands through his hair irritably. Remus rolls his eyes.
"I know it's not true but I was pissed off!" says James, now pacing back-and-forth. "She bloody protected Snape! He's probably off helping Voldemort as we speak!"
Remus sighs too. "He used to be her friend, Prongs…"
"It doesn't matter! He still is working for the person who killed her parents and John!" They are silent for a few moments. James rarely speaks of his brother and it is only recent that he has mentioned him.
"Yes, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe there was more to their friendship then met the eye?" Remus asks finally.
James freezes. His mind is practically twisting and turning in millions of different directions. He has seen the way Snape looks at Lily. Like she is, or now was, his property; a look of lust always evident in his eyes. A look that was never returned or noticed by Lily. They had been friends since before the two came to Hogwarts and he was most likely the only person she had during their summer holiday. But…she could not feel the same way…At least not anymore…
"Prongs, mate?" says Sirius concerned. James is shaken from his thoughts. "Are you all right?"
James does not say anything but bolts out of the room, not noticing the worried looks his friends are exchanging.
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-Meanwhile-
There is a knock on her door and she looks up from the magazine she is reading.
"Who is it?"
"Jessica!"
Lily smiles and tells her to come in. James' younger sister walks in smiling. Lily has grown exceptionally fond of Jessica during her time at the Potter residence. They have an awful lot in common, besides being the only girls in the house. She is also very funny and very kind. Lily also noticed that she has the same beautiful eyes as James does…wait, what?
"What's up?" Lily asks, shaking herself out of her jumbled thoughts. "I would have thought that you'd be asleep by now!"
Jessica grins. "My friends have always called me a nocturnal freak. Also, seeing as you're the only person who probably won't kick me out of the room I figured you might want some company."
Lily laughs and then smiles. "You're right. It's not easy being under the same roof with four boys, one of which gets on my last nerve."
Jessica suddenly becomes serious.
"Lily, how come you hate my brother so much?" she asks, sitting down in the chair next to her bed. Lily is taken aback. "I mean, sure he's obnoxious, arrogant, egotistical, odorous after Quidditch, an asshole…"
"Oh, well when you put it that way," says Lily sarcastically. Jessica smiles again.
"He's also can be funny when he wants to be, occasionally sweet, and I guess there's no use in denying him not being ugly. I'm sure you know that, though," she says with a wink, and Lily blushes. How much does this girl know?
Regardless, Lily cannot help but feel a certain connection with Jessica. She seems to acknowledge all the feelings she thinks about James and yet, she has lived under the same roof with him all of her life. Well, there is no use in denying him not being ugly…
"It still doesn't change the fact that he can be a bullying toerag," says Lily stubbornly. It is an empty argument though because James has not started any fights this past year unless provoked. Jessica laughs. Lily cannot help but notice that she has the feminine version of James' laugh. This does not help.
"Yes, I've heard that argument far too many times," she says, wiping her eyes from laughing so hard.
Lily arches an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
Jessica sighs. "Oh Lily, can't you see how much James adores you? He practically glows like a jack-o-lantern every time you walk in the room! You should hear him every summer when he gets home going on about Lily-this and Lily-that. He might as well pop the question!"
Lily blushes slightly but also rolls her eyes and laughs derisively.
"Is that why he said I am as good as a Death Eater?"
Jessica gasps. "So that's why you've been cold every time he comes into the room. Hmm…I guess I've left mental off my list. Anyway, the point is –"
"Oh, there's a point to all of this?" says Lily, somewhat coolly.
"Yes," retorts Jessica. "The point is we can go back-and-forth all day listing all of James' faults. Trust me, I'm damn sure we're both that stubborn. Or you could open your eyes to what's right in front of you and realize James is more than what first meets the eye."
"I'm still not going to like him anymore," says Lily, crossing her arms. She will not let herself.
"Lily, what have past relationships been like for you?"
Lily hesitates. "Lousy because I think all of the guys were afraid that Potter would hex them into oblivion if they get near me. I have dated a few though, but it ended mainly because they were suck-ups and to be quite frank, it got annoying as hell."
Jessica seems happy that they have finally reached her golden point. "Exactly Lily! Exactly! Now this is my final point and then I'll leave you be."
"You shouldn't settle for someone who kisses up to you all the time. Wait for the guy who knows how to make you angry and does so on a regular basis. The guy who will be honest with you and tell you if you look ridiculous or that you're acting stupid. Because love was never meant to be easy. It was meant to be worth it (A/N: I got this from PottedLilies story. It is not mine). Can you think of anyone who fits with that?" Her eyes are twinkling and a smile is playing on her lips.
Lily opens her mouth then closes it, realizing she does not want to admit that she does have someone who fits with that whole statement. Does James really glow up whenever she walks in the room? Could he possibly be in love with her? Jessica seems to know what is going on inside of her head and beams widely. As if on cue, the door opens and Lily is momentarily relieved for the interruption until she sees whom it is.
"What are you doing in here?" asks James sharply, glaring at his sister. Jessica smirks.
"Girl talk. Something you and Sirius have on a regular basis." Lily stifles a laugh as Jessica gets up and with a fleeting smile, leaves the room, taking care to bump her brother on the way. James rubs his shoulder.
"She always was the evil one in our family," he says more to himself than Lily. Lily laughs.
"She's nice. It's nice to talk to someone with the same opinion of you as me."
James' eyes narrow but he does not immediately say anything. He then snorts.
"Figures you'd be able to talk to my siblings about how much you hate me."
"I don't hate you," said Lily diplomatically. "I just – you confuse me sometimes."
This peaks James' interest and he spins the chair around, sitting on it with the back facing Lily. He leans his arms on it.
"How do you mean?"
Lily blushes scarlet, which he notes. He also notes that her nose turns an even darker shade of red than the rest of her face when she blushes. He finds this adorable.
"You just…throw me off guard," she mutters. "I feel like I don't really know you or what to expect from you."
James hesitates. "Good," he finally says with a playful smile. "Are you still mad at me?"
"A bit," Lily admits. "I've cooled off a little though."
"I'm sorry for calling you a – well, you know," James says embarrassed. "I was way out of line. I should have taken into consideration that you and Snape were once good friends."
Lily calculates him for a minute and then smiles, causing his stomach to do a back flip and his heart rate to increase. If he does not watch it, Lily Evans is one day going to stop his heart.
"I forgive you," she says sincerely. She leans forward to hug him and he wonders if she can feel his heartbeat. He can practically hear it and what she does next nearly has it pop out of his chest.
She draws back slightly and kisses him on the cheek, causing his face to burn at the place she kissed. He touches his cheek and she blushes also, having realized what she has done.
"S – Sorry," she stammers, worried that he will misinterpret it. James grins though.
"No worries, I'm not complaining," he jokes, lightening the mood.
James knows though that this hardly changes where they stand at all. Even though he hates to admit it at the peaks of their fury towards each other, Lily really is a marvelous gem. He loves her smile and the way she laughs, especially on those seldom occasions at his jokes. He loves her perfectly heart-shaped face and every freckle, down to the tiny one on her perfectly shaped nose. She has the most beautiful shade of reddish-orange hair and he loves how when it catches the light, it flashes gold. He can stare into her emerald green eyes forever and never desire to avert his gaze. She is very petite, but not too much so like she was at the beginning of the year, and he thinks it is adorable how she only reaches up to his chest, yet she always holds her ground whenever they fought. However, the thing he loves most about her is that she is never selfish but always compassionate, excluding when directed at himself. She is helpful to everyone and no matter what someone's flaw may be, she always sees the best in them and makes sure they did too. She is smart, witty, and does not take crap from anyone, especially him. She stands up for what she believes in and makes sure no one has a question on her beliefs. She does not care about all the inner-house rubbish, especially considering she has been a friend of Snape's for so many years even though they had been separated. Snape… The reason he was here and the reason he should get back to so he does not stand here for the rest of his life thinking about all of Lily's perfections.
"You still with us, Potter?" asks Lily, somewhat concerned. He has been staring at her for the past ten minutes as if he can see right through her and it is beginning to unnerve her.
James shakes his head to keep a blush from forming on his face. "Yeah, sorry. I must have zoned out for a moment."
"I don't mean to sound like a bitch but…what are you doing in here?" she asks, crossing her arms. "I thought we weren't talking."
"I'd like to point out, flower, that it is you who hasn't been talking to me. Not vice-versa," grins James. His grin extends when he sees the effect of his nickname for her.
"Don't call me that."
"Why not? It suits you perfectly. Delicate but able to withstand the toughest of circumstances." Lily blushes again and stares defiantly back at him. She does not say anything so James continues.
"Also, since when do you care if you act like a bitch? You constantly go off at me like one whenever you feel like it."
Lily glare intensifies. "Are you going to stand there insulting me or get on with the reason you actually came here?"
"I actually came here to ask you a question."
Lily arches an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? And what's that?"
James sighs, wondering how he can phrase this so she will not find a way to twist it. He thinks for a moment, disregarding the impatient look on her face.
"Were you and Snape ever more than friends?" he asks finally. He decided that he might as well just come out and say it.
Lily looks affronted, obviously expecting that to be the last thing he would ever ask her. To be honest, it is the last thing he ever expected himself to be approaching her about.
"What kind of question is that?" she hisses at him. "Look, I loved Severus. Don't look at me like that. I loved him like you love Jessica. Like a sibling and nothing more."
James sighs in relief and does not intend to tell her how everyone can see the feelings are not mutual in that way until she asks:
"Why do you care anyway? It's not like we were ever going to date or anything. We don't like each other that way."
James lets out an exasperated sigh and though he knows it is a mistake says, "Ev – Lily, for someone so exceptionally bright you're so blindsided!"
Instead of snapping at him like she normally would have done, she tilts her head to the right and looks him up and down. He can feel a certain part of his anatomy twitch and curses for having chosen to wear dress pants instead of robes. She disregards this and looks back into his eyes.
Those beautiful eyes – wait, what are you saying, Lily? You promised yourself from the moment he first asked you out that you would not fall for him and you always keep your promises.
Now it is Lily's turn to shake her head before replying.
"What do you mean I'm blindsided?" she asks puzzled. "Are you trying to tell me Severus thought of me as more then a friend?"
"Yes!" says James, throwing his hand up. "Merlin Lily, he's in love with you!"
Lily stares at him for a moment in shock and then bursts out laughing.
"S-Severus? In love with m-me? You've got to be joking! Why the hell would anyone, least of all my childhood friend, love me?"
"You obviously don't think much of yourself, Lily," says James sadly. He walks over the unoccupied chair and sits down. "Because if you're so blind that you can't see the beauty that everyone else sees when they look at you…"
Lily feels her face burn and hopes James has not noticed it. If he did he had the decency to ignore it for her sake.
"Oh yeah? What exactly does everyone else see then when they look at me? All I can see are the flaws!" says Lily stubbornly, "Which apparently you are unaware of."
James looks at her incredulously.
"You don't think I can see your flaws Lily?" laughs James. "Okay, then I'll enlighten you on all the flaws I see."
"Lily Evans, you are impatient, insecure, you argue like hell, you nag, you've got the worst bloody temper of anyone I've ever met, you hate being wrong, you're slow to trust people; especially me, you're awful at Transfiguration mainly because you over think it, you get stressed easily, you PMS like no other, and you can be a total bitch," he concludes.
Lily stares at him, her mouth agape. Once she realizes it is open she closes it but keeps staring at him. To her surprise, she is not angry at all but is more surprised and rather…touched?
James looks at her nervously now and since she says nothing, decides he should probably continue on before she does.
"I'm sorry if I made you upset because that wasn't my intention. None of what I said was a lie, but there is also a whole lot of good in you."
He pauses but Lily does not say anything, still in shock, so he takes it as a cue to continue.
"Lily, you're honestly the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You care about others, you help people, you're selfless and loving, you're braver than most people I know, you're classy and dignified, you fight for what you think is right, you stand up for people who won't stand up for themselves. You also help people see the good in themselves when they can't, like Remus. You have excellent morals, you have a lovely singing voice even though you think otherwise, people just love you, chocolate solves all your problems, your humble and nurturing, you're loyal and the truest Gryffindor I've ever met."
Lily, for once, is at a loss for words. James leans into her and she feels her heart rate speed up. She can still smell his cologne.
"Lily, you have to know that none of the great stuff about you that I said is a lie. They beat your flaws any day, even if your flaws are apparent every day. In my opinion, your flaws are what make you even more beautiful."
Lily opens her mouth, about to say something, but James cuts her off.
"Lily, I –" Suddenly the door opens and cuts James off just as he was about to tell her how he truly feels. He inwardly curses for the awful timing.
"Oi! What's going on in here?" asks Sirius suggestively. Lily cannot blame him for jumping to very wrong conclusions. Their faces are about an inch apart and if he had not interrupted…well, their kissing times may have increased.
"Nothing Padfoot," says James disappointed, and Lily looks back between the two of them confused. "Goodnight Lily."
He smiles and got up. As he walks out the door, he lets his eyes flicker back to her and can see she was smiling too.
"Goodnight," she whispers. "It is a good night," she says, thinking that he cannot hear her but he does and it ends his evening perfectly.
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Lily wakes from a clap of thunder. She yawns and gets up, stretching as she does so. She walks into the private bathroom that is connected to her room and takes a nice, hot shower. Once she is out, she gets changed into a blouse and a nice pair of jeans and heads downstairs where she is sure the others already are. She is wrong. As she reaches the den where the Christmas tree still is, only James is to be seen.
"'Morning," he greets cheerfully. His expression is unreadable so Lily cannot tell if he remembers what had happened the previous night. Or, perhaps, if anything had happened.
"'Morning," says Lily absentmindedly, sitting down in one of the chairs. "Happy Christmas. Here, I got you something."
James looks surprised. "Before or after you started hating me again?"
"After."
"Really?"
"Oh yes, the all mighty Lily Evans decides that Christmas is canceled just because the annoying James Potter decides to piss her off."
James grins. "Just wondering." He takes the present from her and reaches under the tree for something Lily cannot see. It is a little gift-wrapped box, big enough to fit perhaps a necklace or something along those lines. He reaches out to put it in her lap.
"You didn't have to get me anything," says Lily surprised. James looks at her incredulously.
"So I can look like a right eejit when you just gave me my present? Yeah, right!"
"What if I hadn't gotten anything for you?"
"I still would have given you the present," he says, looking into her emerald green eyes. She averts her gaze and only looks back when she hears a gasp. She realizes he must have opened his present. It is the newest racing kit with state-of-the-art supplies to fix your broom.
"This is amazing! Thanks Lily!" He gets up and kisses her cheek, sitting back down afterwards, however, she still feels the Goosebumps. She is positive he feels it too because he runs his hands through his hair subconsciously, something she has not seen him do in a while. Before either can say anything else, he walks out of the room.
She looks after him curiously and decides to open her present. She gasps too, for it was a beautiful, silver necklace.
There is something peculiar about it though. Lily looks closer and realizes there is an inscription. She cannot see it though but is sure James will know what it was. She hoists herself up from the comfortable chair and is about to go down the hall to find James when she collides with Sirius. He catches her before she falls to the ground and helps her steady herself.
"Thanks, do you know where James is?" she asks, standing up straight. Sirius shrugs and Lily crosses her arms.
"Don't play dumb."
"Who says I'm playing?"
"Hardy-har-har. You're his best friend, of course you know where he is!"
Sirius makes the motion of zipping his lips and throwing away the key.
"For Merlin's sake, Sirius! I'm not going to kill him or anything, I just want to thank him for his gift!"
Sirius' face brightens and he plays dumb. "What'd he get you?" Lily rolls her eyes and shows him the necklace.
"Do you know what the inscription means?" she asks hopefully.
Sirius' grin slides of his face and replaces it with a grimace.
"Can't tell you that, Lily bean," he says seriously. "Only you'll be able to find out." Leaving her more confused than before, he runs off to the den.
Lily walks to her room annoyed. What could be on the damn inscription. She opens her door and flops on her bed, undoing the clasp and putting it on. To her surprise, the metal is warmer than she expected.
She absentmindedly looks out the window and her eyes widen. There, wandering through the garden again, is none other than James. He is walking with his hands in his pockets and in the opposite direction of the house.
Making a split second decision, she tears out of her room and down several staircases. She has to ask him what this inscription means or it will bug her forever.
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She runs outside and is immediately hit by a gust of wind that freezes her to the core. Why had she not thought to bring a sweater?
She begins jogging in the distance she believes James had been walking. He is long gone by now so he could be anywhere on their vast property. It stretches as far as the eye can see and leads into a forest that is way off in the distance.
Lily picks up her pace but looks around her as she does. The garden is spectacular. It must have taken years to accumulate so many types of flowers and must take a lot of work to maintain them all. One in particular catches her eye. The petals are the same colour as her hair and the stem of it is the same colour as her eyes. It has her written all over it and she wants one badly.
Deciding that in a garden of so many flowers, one will not make a difference, she plucks it carefully and holds it gently. To her amazement, a new flower (exactly the same) takes its place. It is a brilliant piece of magic that Lily imagines can only be done by Dorea.
Sticking it behind her ear, she continues on her way on the path she remembers having seen James take. She walks for a good half an hour and then comes to a fork. They both lead to different parts of the forest; one darker than the other. It reminds her of Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken. They had been instructed during her time at her Muggle primary school to memorize the entire poem but she only remembers the final passage.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
She debates on whether or not she should head back to the Potter Manor. What if she takes the wrong path or worse yet, what if she finds him and he does not tell her? She decides that it is a chance she has to take and decides on taking the one that goes left. She has a gut feeling that it will take her to where she needs to go.
She resumes walking, her anxiety growing with every step she takes but she knows she has made the right choice. Thinking about the poem helps calm her and after all, she is a Gryffindor. Gryffindors do not quiver in the face of darkness. They embrace it and conquer it. She does believe in the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
She gasps. What meets her eyes is a beautiful sight.
Now that trees no longer surround her, she realizes she is in the heart of the forest. There is a waterfall that drops into a small pool-like hole in the ground. She looks up in amazement and the suns golden rays shine down on her, bouncing off of her hair.
That is not what makes her gasp though. Drinking from the pool of water is the most gorgeous Stag she has ever seen. It looks up upon hearing her gasp and Lily swears that its eyes widen upon realizing it is no longer alone.
It trots over to her and she stands deadly still, worried that she scared it. Her worries vanish instantly, however, when it extends its mane for her to stroke. She does so and sighs in contentment, as does the Stag, to her amazement.
"You're beautiful," she whispers, and if Stags can smile she is sure this one just did. "It's almost as if you're human. Are there more of you here?"
It turns its head both as if to say no and she laughs.
"I doubt they would be like you though. You seem special. You know, my Patronus is a Doe and I heard that they are compatible."
The Stag looks up at her with wide eyes full of wonder. They are twinkling brightly. She continues to stroke its mane and talks aloud to it.
"I've never been here before," she tells the Stag. "It's all new to me but I'm glad I took this route. I'm looking for a – friend, I suppose you could say. He gave me this – look at me! I'm talking to you like you understand a word I am saying!"
To her surprise, the Stag gives her a reproachful sort of look. Perhaps he does understand her…
"Sorry. Anyway, he gave me this beautiful Christmas gift but I feel bad because I cannot read the inscription." The Stag seems to deflate a bit and Lily sighs. "I know, I feel awful. I feel like it is something important but I don't know. We never did finish our conversation though last night. I felt like he was about to tell me something when that Sirius barged in and interrupted. That boy has no tact, let me tell you."
The Stag's eyes are now dancing with laughter and Lily cannot help but laugh herself.
"James truly is one of a kind though. Look at me, I just called him, James! It's not that hard though, I guess I only call him Potter now because it's habitual. It used to be because he annoyed me to no end but he's really grown up. Can I tell you a secret?"
The Stag, somewhat hesitantly, inclines its head and Lily takes that as his form of a yes.
"I'm afraid I'm starting to fall for James," she whispers. "I find myself thinking about him more and more as the year goes on. Sure, he still angers me frequently but maybe Jessica, his sister, is right. Love, or whatever the hell this is, isn't meant to be easy. She's quite smart for her age, you know. I didn't know half the things she knows at fifteen. I wonder if she has felt something like this before."
"Look at me, I'm being ridiculous. I'm talking to a Stag about my guy problems instead of confronting them on my own. We've kissed already twice, you know. They were the best kisses of my life, to be honest. The fireworks were brighter and louder than Dr. Filibuster's and that is saying something."
Lily stares at the Stag's eyes again. They are so full of expression that she cannot help but stare at them. They are a beautiful shade of hazel. Not unlike…
James'.
Prongs.
Lily gasps, putting the pieces together and she immediately takes her hands off of the Stag. He has been enjoying this the entire time, has he not?
"Return to your form Potter," she says coldly.
The Stag looks at her regretfully and Lily's heart breaks. She knows that look because she has been on the receiving end of it for years when she reprimanded James on his pranks. Before her eyes materializes the very boy she had been spilling her heart out about, unknowingly to him, himself.
James stares back at Lily in shock and then to his horror, her eyes fill with tears, which she desperately tries to hide. Now it is his turn for his heart to shatter into a million pieces. He should have gotten out of there as soon as she came and reappeared in his human form. He could not do it though when she saw the look in her eyes. They were full of wonder and love for the Stag and his heart aches, wishing that she would give him that look when he is in his human form. Still, he should have never let her start pouring her heart out to him, no matter how curious he was. If telling him how she felt came at a price he would rather never knowing.
"Lily, I –" he begins.
"How could you, James?" she says, wiping her eyes hastily. "I – I trusted the Stag…you're an Animagus." He nods. "I take it an unregistered one to boot."
"We did it for Remus," he says desperately, and Lily looks at him baffled. "He goes through so much pain during his transformations, we figured we could distract him and keep him busy. That way, he hardly hurts himself and we take some of the scratches."
"So that's why you'll come into class with scars on your necks," she breathes. Her anger rekindles though. "Still, where do you get off listening to me pour my heart out about you?"
"I never imagined in a million years that you would be talking about me," James says earnestly. "I know I should have left the second you arrived here but it was so hard. The way you looked at me – I couldn't turn away. Not when my Stag form is the only time I will be seen that way in your eyes."
Lily's gaze softens and she looks down at her feet. For a couple moments she does not say anything and James waits anxiously for her to continue. Finally, she bites her lip and looks up.
"I – You –" She stops short when James walks closer to her. He is towering over her but he can still see every freckle on her face.
For a terrifying, and somewhat electrifying, moment she thinks that he is going to kiss her again. He surprises her though and extends a hand for her. Reluctantly, she accepts it and he leads her to the pool.
"I used to come here when I was little," James explains, still holding her hand and savouring every minute of it. "You know, to think about things: Whenever I would have a fight with a sibling, when John – died, when I was upset about something that happened with you."
Lily looks up at him but he continues to stare at the water, his eyes now expressionless. She has no idea what is going on inside his head.
"I don't know what we are Lily and quite frankly, nothing you told me was that great of a surprise to me. Not because I'm conceited," he says, when he sees her open her mouth, "but because I had a feeling already. A feeling that I already knew what you were thinking and that's – that's part of the reason I gave you that necklace."
"It's beautiful," she murmurs.
"Yes, Goblin's make exceptional jewelry but that's not the only reason I got it for you. I had to see – You can't read the inscription?" Lily shakes her head and he looks down at their hands and then at the waterfall.
"Could you tell me what it says?" she asks hopefully. James, however, shakes his head.
"It wouldn't mean anything to you, not now anyway. I just hope one day that you will be able to read it. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or in ten years but one day." To her surprise and disappointment, he lets go of her hand and puts his own in his pocket. He then notices the flower in her hand and his lip turns up.
"I see you found the flower I made."
"You made this?"
James nods. "Let me tell you, it's not the easiest bit of magic but compared to becoming an Animagus, it was a walk in the park. I made it the summer before our fourth year, right after you rejected me for the first time."
"Really?" Lily falters. "What's it called?"
"'The Lily Flower'. It's not a Lily or anything," he says quickly, "but I made it to match your hair and eyes."
Lily is touched by this sentiment and rendered speechless. She cannot believe that he made a flower in her honour especially after all she has done to him. What did she ever do to deserve someone who cares about her so much?
"We should be heading back," says James, looking up into the sky. "It's nearly noon and mum will be already making Christmas supper."
Lily nods and putting her nerves and worries aside, she does something she never thought she would do in a million years. She reaches out and grabs James' hand in her own. The little act of affection shocks him and he looks down again at their entwined hands and then into her eyes. She smiles slightly and nods and he realizes that she is not going to take it out just yet.
It is the beginning of a beautiful friendship and right now for James that is all he can hope for and overall, the best Christmas gift.
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Two days pass and Lily still is not able to crack the mystery of the necklace. By then, however, she has other things occupying her mind. For one, her and the Marauders are going back to Hogwarts today and she is going to have to endure countless rumours about her staying at the Potter Manor.
Secondly, her and James have made a non-spoken agreement to be friends from now on. Although she at times has trouble trusting him, she finds being friends is a lot nicer than yelling at him. The other Marauders welcomed this change with open arms and Lily will sometimes see Sirius grinning across the table at her and James when they happen to sit next to each other.
So that is why when she arrives at Kings Cross Station she is going to be getting on the train with trepidation.
"Thank you so much for letting me stay, Dorea," says Lily, hugging the elderly woman. Dorea smiles.
"No thank you, dear," she says. "I think this was the only holiday that the boys actually behaved themselves and that's an accomplishment."
Everyone laughs except for Jarred who rolls his eyes and looks off into the distance. Lily notices this and wonders if there is anything that she can do to help him. He seems to be so miserable and it pains Lily to see anyone like this.
"Bye Dorea," says Sirius, leaning down to hug her. He is by now two heads taller than her and loves to constantly remind her about it. "By the way, how's the weather down there?"
They laughs again as Dorea smacks Sirius with a magazine she conjures. Sirius lets out a bark-like laugh and retreats behind Lily.
"Yeah, it's so hard to find you behind the 5'3 girl," smirks James. Sirius laughs and begins tickling Lily's sides.
"SIRIUS! AGH! STOP!" cries Lily, trying to escape him. She elbows him in the stomach and only then does he stop.
"You seven had better get going before the train leaves without you," said Dorea, hugging Remus and Peter in turn and then her other children. "Have a good term and I'll see you over the summer!"
They all nod and run through the barrier as they have done so much earlier in the year. Once through, Lily turns to the Marauders.
"I'll see you guys later," she says, bidding them goodbye.
They nod and go their separate ways. Lily drags her trunk down the corridor, saying hello to friends from other houses and just people she recognizes. As James watches her retreat he cannot help but admire how she seems to get along with everyone. He regretfully turns his back to her and walks into the famous Marauders compartment.
"Lily!" cries Alice, Marlene, and Margaret. They all run up to her and hug her tightly.
"Guys! Guys, seriously you're choking me!" gasps Lily. "I missed you too but we did see each other a few days ago."
They laugh and let the redhead breathe freely again.
"Thank you. So, what's up?" asks Lily, hoisting her trunk into the luggage racks.
They look at her incredulously. "You!"
"Excuse me?"
"Everyone is talking about how you stayed with the Potter's," says Margaret. "We didn't know what to believe, so, what exactly happened?"
"No idea," says Lily honestly. "I don't even know where to begin!"
"How about the reason why you were there to begin with?" suggests Marlene. "You never told us that when we saw you." Lily's eyes fill up with hot tears when she remembers the reason. Her past few days have been so eventful that she has not allowed herself much time to dwell on her father's death.
"Lily! What's wrong?" cries Alice. The three run over to Lily's side.
"Th-the reason I was at J-James' is because my d-dad…" Lily's voice dies here (A/N: Sorry, no pun intended) and Margaret's hand jumps to her mouth.
"Lily…is your father…d-dead?" gasps Margaret. Lily sobs harder and the other two gasp. Tears are pouring down Margaret's face when the door opens and Remus steps in. He looks alarmed upon seeing the crying girls and he hesitates.
"Not a good time?" The girls shake their heads and motion for him to come in. He walks in and sits next to Margaret and hesitantly puts an arm around her shoulders. She breaks down and begins crying into his chest, drenching his shirt.
Lily and the other two wipe their eyes and exchange a significant look as Remus strokes Margaret's hair and "shh's" her.
"Am I right in assuming you told them the reason why you were at James'?" says Remus, over Margaret's sobbing. Lily nods. "Did you tell them about walking into your house…?"
"What?" says the other three sharply. Lily shakes her head but wills herself to be strong. She tells her story of from the second she got home to getting on the train today. She leaves out the parts though with James and the gifts since Remus is there. She will tell her friends when she gets the chance. She will make sure they are alone though.
"Are you okay, Lily?" asks Remus concerned. Margaret's head is no longer laying on his shoulder but she is sniveling. Lily is harshly reminded of how the Marauders would call Severus, Snivellus.
"Of course I'm not okay," says Lily coldly. "How could I possibly be okay right now? But I will be."
The other four are surprised by her abrupt change in attitude. Remus does not let it bother him though.
"Alright. Then I'd better get back to the others before they blow up the train." Margaret laughs weakly, her throat now sore. There is a mini explosion from the back of the train and they all jump.
"Duty calls," jokes Alice. Remus smiles and gets up, stroking Margaret's hair once more and whispering reassuring words to her before running out of the compartment and down the corridor.
The three girls look at Margaret, who is still looking at the door where Remus had just walked out. She turns slowly to look at them, feeling their stares.
"What?"
Lily gives her a look. "I think you know." She grins as do Alice and Marlene.
"W-what? Th-that? No, no, no! H-He's just being – being Remus!" splutters Margaret. "There's no way he can –"
"Oh, but it's so obvious he likes you, Margaret!" cries Marlene. Margaret shakes her head.
"I'm so sorry about your father, Lily," Margaret says sadly, changing the subject, and the others nod sympathetically. "He was a great man and always so nice to me whenever I came. He made me feel like I was his third daughter."
Lily smiles slightly and Alice decides now is a good time to switch gears.
"Anyway, since Margaret won't talk about what's in front of her, we can talk about Lily and James," she grins.
"What are you talking about?" asks Lily, trying to hide a smile that is forming on her lips.
"Oh! There's got to be something going on!" exclaims Marlene. "She turned down a perfectly good chance to berate him!" The other girls squeal.
"Oh, that James, he's such a – toerag," Lily says halfheartedly, and the others snort at her weak attempt. Then their eyes widen.
"YOU CALLED HIM –"
"SHH!" hisses Lily. "Yes, I called him James, alert the media!"
"You're not getting out of this now Lily. Dish!" says Margaret. Lily sighs. Now might as well be as good a time as any…
"Fine. Well, after the party on Christmas Eve I was up in my room talking to James' younger sister Jessica," begins Lily. She tells them all the advice that Jessica had given her about James and all of what James said including the insults (the three gasp) and the compliments (they sigh). She then tells them about the forest and all that happened in there and by that point all three girls are dewy eyed.
"What's wrong?" Lily asks tentatively.
"That's got to be the sweetest thing I've ever heard," whispers Alice, wiping her eyes. The trains are slowing down and they begin changing. As Lily changes into her robes, Marlene gasps.
"Lily, where'd you get that necklace from?"
Lily looks down and there it is. The necklace James had given her for Christmas. She neglected to mention that to them, unsure of how to tell them.
"Oh. James gave it to me," says Lily nonchalantly. The girls gasp.
"It's beautiful," cries Margaret as the walk out of the compartment. Lily nods. She does not tell them about the inscription though. She wants to figure it out on her own without anyone else's help.
She thinks over all of this as they get in their own separate carriage to go up to the castle once again. This time, however, as a different person. Someone who has suffered greatly and gained much.
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A/N: Please review!